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Things not to do during sex
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune."
Now I have that tune in my head! |
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"From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune.
Now I have that tune in my head!"
I suggest you don't try it during sex, I've taken that bullet for us all  |
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"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Don't phone your ex to say sorry."
Haha last thing id do is call to say sorry... Heck i might send a pic depending on the break up and who was at fault
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Making a pot noodle."
Making a pot noodle during sex  Is it weird I sort of want to see this.
I assume they ate it aswell as shared.
And calling anyone for a catch up is just wrong.
"Hey what you up to"
"Nothing, just hanging out the back of becky" or "Nothing, just ridding Timmy" |
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By *rIntMan
over a year ago
London |
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Why do so many men do this?
Maybe they’ve got cold feet "
That’s a fact. Some might have ugly toes too lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Turning the TV over to Match Of The Day 
I'd be fine with that, especially if the sex was... ahem... mediochre
in that case I promise every Saturday night, on or around 10:30 I’ll be mediocre  "
Deal. |
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"Turning the TV over to Match Of The Day
I'd be fine with that, especially if the sex was... ahem... mediochre
in that case I promise every Saturday night, on or around 10:30 I’ll be mediocre
Deal. "
I’ll even let you have the remote  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?"
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew "
Some people just don’t know how to explore! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!"
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment "
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?"
Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?
Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem "
Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?
Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem
Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?"
That definitely wasn't on the menu that night..... anal I mean, not the cheese grease |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?
Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem
Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?"
Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?
Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem
Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?
Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either."
Nope, had to fork out for that myself........ although she had stayed home while I was off out with a couple of mates.... so I can maybe forgive her that part  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?
Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem
Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?
Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either.
Nope, had to fork out for that myself........ although she had stayed home while I was off out with a couple of mates.... so I can maybe forgive her that part "
She from Yorkshire? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Keeping your socks on is not sexy.
What things do you think are a turn off during sex?
Apparently coming home from the pub (a little, ok very, worse for wear) and joining the then gf in bed to attempt doggie style whilst still eating a garlic (with cheese) pizza bread is a slight passion killer...... who knew
Some people just don’t know how to explore!
Exactly..... her unwillingness to explore really killed the moment
What, not even letting you rub it on her pussy to get the greasy layer from the cheese off?
Nope, not even that....... got the feeling she had a little bit of an attitude problem
Cheese grease is good for anal, suppose......?
Bet she didn’t pay for the pizza bread either.
Nope, had to fork out for that myself........ although she had stayed home while I was off out with a couple of mates.... so I can maybe forgive her that part
She from Yorkshire?"
No why? Are they a little careful with their money? |
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My idiot husband opening his mouth without thinking. The best one was him saying (When I was tied in a very compromising position) 'i wonder what your father would say if he could see you now".
That concluded things instantly. |
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"My idiot husband opening his mouth without thinking. The best one was him saying (When I was tied in a very compromising position) 'i wonder what your father would say if he could see you now".
That concluded things instantly."
This is hilarious, thanks for sharing. Gave me a giggle |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wipe cum on your partner, lift them up and proclaim, Simba!
*Start singing circle of life*
Am I doing this right?"
Beautiful and moving! Though you'd really need to be outside on a rock to get the full effect |
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"Wipe cum on your partner, lift them up and proclaim, Simba!
*Start singing circle of life*
Am I doing this right?
Beautiful and moving! Though you'd really need to be outside on a rock to get the full effect "
You know what, you are absolutely right.
I don't suppose you know any decent dogging spots overlooking the African savannah? |
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By *mberWoman
over a year ago
Preston |
"My idiot husband opening his mouth without thinking. The best one was him saying (When I was tied in a very compromising position) 'i wonder what your father would say if he could see you now".
That concluded things instantly."
Brilliant! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Stopping for a wee ..passion killer "
Men have to wee after cumming. It's natures way of flushing all the pipes out and flushing out all of the cum/sperm that didn't cum out during ejaculation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Open mouth breath direct into someones face, i hate if a guy does that.
I however am guilty of singing disney and laughing (was d*unk and with a friend) not my finest moment |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Wipe cum on your partner, lift them up and proclaim, Simba!
*Start singing circle of life*
Am I doing this right?
Beautiful and moving! Though you'd really need to be outside on a rock to get the full effect
You know what, you are absolutely right.
I don't suppose you know any decent dogging spots overlooking the African savannah?"
Takes on a whole new meaning when the rustling in the bush might be a hungry leopard - Danger Dogging! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In missionary position pretty much stationary and cuddled up kissing and enjoying the closeness of our bodies, I looked deep into her eyes, and watched the hunger grow waiting for that moment.
When it came I pushed down with my hands on the mattress, raising myself in push up style to switch from intense passion to intense fucking.
That was the moment my hand slipped off the edge of the mattress, I fell off the bed, landed badly and dislocated my shoulder!
Getting dressed and calling an ambulance to spend the rest of the night in A&E was probably not the best thing to do during sex |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In missionary position pretty much stationary and cuddled up kissing and enjoying the closeness of our bodies, I looked deep into her eyes, and watched the hunger grow waiting for that moment.
When it came I pushed down with my hands on the mattress, raising myself in push up style to switch from intense passion to intense fucking.
That was the moment my hand slipped off the edge of the mattress, I fell off the bed, landed badly and dislocated my shoulder!
Getting dressed and calling an ambulance to spend the rest of the night in A&E was probably not the best thing to do during sex "
And this is why I always say, you have to have a sense of humour to do this and enjoy it! At least you avoided headbutting the lady as you slipped! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From a past experience (when very refreshed from the pub) hum the match of the day theme while matching thrusts to the tune."
Agreed. Test Match Special theme tune, however, is to be applauded. |
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By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
"In missionary position pretty much stationary and cuddled up kissing and enjoying the closeness of our bodies, I looked deep into her eyes, and watched the hunger grow waiting for that moment.
When it came I pushed down with my hands on the mattress, raising myself in push up style to switch from intense passion to intense fucking.
That was the moment my hand slipped off the edge of the mattress, I fell off the bed, landed badly and dislocated my shoulder!
Getting dressed and calling an ambulance to spend the rest of the night in A&E was probably not the best thing to do during sex "
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