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Asian men
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The colour of someone’s skin makes no difference to me.
I’ve played with Asian guys, as well as black guys and white guys.
I base my meets on the messages I get and how well I get on with someone. |
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Fact: some people are racist.
Fact: some men send idiotic messages.
Truth: if you send out decent messages to some people, they respond positively.
The difficulty is finding the right combination.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: some people are racist.
Fact: some men send idiotic messages.
Truth: if you send out decent messages to some people, they respond positively.
The difficulty is finding the right combination.
"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: some people are racist.
Fact: some men send idiotic messages.
Truth: if you send out decent messages to some people, they respond positively.
The difficulty is finding the right combination.
"
The old race card being played if you don't agree with someone's choice of who they want to fuck, priceless. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The colour of someone’s skin makes no difference to me.
I’ve played with Asian guys, as well as black guys and white guys.
I base my meets on the messages I get and how well I get on with someone. "
Agreed. If there is no connection then their racial origin makes no difference. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s like a lottery I’ve heard the same from white men it’s got nothing to do with being Asian, I think this scene itself is not what it used to be, before my 7 year relationship I was getting plenty of meets now not even 1 no matter what site u go on, lots of fakes, lots of bots and money making scams where women talk to you so it makes you buy more so called credit to send a message. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: some people are racist.
Fact: some men send idiotic messages.
Truth: if you send out decent messages to some people, they respond positively.
The difficulty is finding the right combination.
"
This
T |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are there women out there that actually like Asian men? I’m starting to think we’re a neglected breed on here lol what are we doing wrong? "
I understand this. I have plenty of profiles asking for only black or only white. Hardly anyone asking for only Asians. That may have given you this feeling. But most women who don't mention anything about colour are open to any good guy irrespective of race. You have to try speaking with them. And the usual stuff - Well written profile, good messages, pictures do matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: some people are racist.
Fact: some men send idiotic messages.
Truth: if you send out decent messages to some people, they respond positively.
The difficulty is finding the right combination.
"
And attraction |
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Yeah, I've seen quite a lot of similar profiles where they alienate Asian men.
Ultimately, it's each to their own and their preference - nothing to get hung up about.
Don't worry lads, there's plenty of people who don't give a toss about the colour of your skin as long as you've got good manners, a working tongue and dick  |
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By *hav02Man
over a year ago
Glasgow/London |
There are a lot of profiles that state racial/color preference, but I'd not want to meet these types of people anyway.
Being non-white doesn't hasn't hindered me on Fab or real life. Treat people with respect regardless of race/color and you'll respected in return. |
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"Fact: some people are racist.
Fact: some men send idiotic messages.
Truth: if you send out decent messages to some people, they respond positively.
The difficulty is finding the right combination.
"
I always send out polite messages, personal to the profile, and the meet they have on the events page and dont always get a reply. So polite nice messages dont always get a good response, its just the way it is. Dont cry, just move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The colour of someone’s skin makes no difference to me.
I’ve played with Asian guys, as well as black guys and white guys.
I base my meets on the messages I get and how well I get on with someone. "
It makes a difference to us .. simply dont play with Asian.. each to there own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin."
We’ve had the exact same problem at clubs. Following ladies into toilets. Just leaning in and grabbing while we are playing with others. We are at the same conclusion. |
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"Fact: some people are racist.
Fact: some men send idiotic messages.
Truth: if you send out decent messages to some people, they respond positively.
The difficulty is finding the right combination.
The old race card being played if you don't agree with someone's choice of who they want to fuck, priceless. "
What does my comment have to do with play the racist card?? Some people ARE.
You just have to find the people you have the connection with.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I found that race has nothing to do with swinging .
Have played with many white cpls and ladies ,never had this issue but I make it a point to block those who have a " No Asian " sign board on their profile.
Preferences us used like a big blanket to cover loads of ego issues here .
Just ignore it OP. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin.
We’ve had the exact same problem at clubs. Following ladies into toilets. Just leaning in and grabbing while we are playing with others. We are at the same conclusion. "
As an Asian man in clubs, I have seen such behaviour myself and it's unacceptable! And it frustrates me because all of us get placed in the 'bad egg' basket |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin.
We’ve had the exact same problem at clubs. Following ladies into toilets. Just leaning in and grabbing while we are playing with others. We are at the same conclusion. "
I thought the real reason was " preferences" lol
Didn't knew that club behaviour of some Asians was the issue here .
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin."
That makes sense. So in one post you state fact and also that it’s actually your opinion. 
Who you meet is your opinion and right but it is not a fact that Asian or Middle Eastern men are the most ‘entitled idiots’ in swingers clubs.
This is your experience or opinion and not ours or many others.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin.
We’ve had the exact same problem at clubs. Following ladies into toilets. Just leaning in and grabbing while we are playing with others. We are at the same conclusion.
I thought the real reason was " preferences" lol
Didn't knew that club behaviour of some Asians was the issue here .
"
Unfortunately it has happened twice with us. It’s not everyone far from it. But a much higher percentage. We’ve had times where fella has had escort people to the toilet and sometimes both of us had to go to the bar to avoid being alone. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unfortunately it has happened twice with us. It’s not everyone far from it. But a much higher percentage. We’ve had times where fella has had escort people to the toilet and sometimes both of us had to go to the bar to avoid being alone. "
Sorry you had to experience that. Asian myself. I understand why this happens. Mostly boils down to cultural upbringing. When I point that out, I myself have been called a racist  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unfortunately it has happened twice with us. It’s not everyone far from it. But a much higher percentage. We’ve had times where fella has had escort people to the toilet and sometimes both of us had to go to the bar to avoid being alone. "
Not at all defending them pervs in any way and still believe that the clubs should ban them selectively .
My fair point is not about your in person but about ppl who write " No Asians" on their profile . Imagine clubs put up such board " No Asians" outside their door?
Then it doesn't become preference, it becomes something else .
We had cpls profile and we mentioned " White single guys only " on our profile. That's her preference but if he wrote no Asians or No Blacks then it's not.
The words comes to play here |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unfortunately it has happened twice with us. It’s not everyone far from it. But a much higher percentage. We’ve had times where fella has had escort people to the toilet and sometimes both of us had to go to the bar to avoid being alone.
Sorry you had to experience that. Asian myself. I understand why this happens. Mostly boils down to cultural upbringing. When I point that out, I myself have been called a racist "
You understand why this happens?
Can you elaborate please? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We know of people who organise parties who will tell single Asian males they are fully booked to avoid the trouble they have had before. Because they don’t only lose the person they ban but also other people refuse to return. Hopefully everyone will behave correctly and the stigma will fade. Cultural upbringing has no place in swinging. After all it’s against all or cultures really. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unfortunately it has happened twice with us. It’s not everyone far from it. But a much higher percentage. We’ve had times where fella has had escort people to the toilet and sometimes both of us had to go to the bar to avoid being alone.
Sorry you had to experience that. Asian myself. I understand why this happens. Mostly boils down to cultural upbringing. When I point that out, I myself have been called a racist
You understand why this happens?
Can you elaborate please?"
In most of the countries, sex education is close to nothing or doesn't exist at all. Parents don't bring up the topic of sex anytime. This is the case with my family too. So most people don't have a grasp of consent.
There are different levels to it. You might have heard about lots of horrible sexual assaults happening in these countries and are mentioned in news. In almost all the cases, the perpetrators give the same reason "She was wearing such a dress. She was out late night drinking with men. So they are dirty women and asking for it." Most of them grew up in places where a good woman is supposed to dress modestly, should be at home before its dark and should not be outside with men. It could be society or religion that taught them this. When they moved to metropolitan cities with modern culture and see women behaving totally opposite to what they have been taught so far. Some men understand that what they were taught when growing up was wrong. Some don't. They consider these women as bad women and do these heinous acts claiming that they have the right to do such things
On another level, even well educated men who come to swinger clubs assume that a woman coming to swinger club has practically given consent to be seen wherever they go. They assume that women in swinger clubs have given consent for men to touch them.
So yes. It all boils down to lack of knowledge about consent. Sorry for the digress in between to talk about sexual assaults. I just wanted to make my point about how the kind of society where someone is brought up in, affects his judgement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Unfortunately it has happened twice with us. It’s not everyone far from it. But a much higher percentage. We’ve had times where fella has had escort people to the toilet and sometimes both of us had to go to the bar to avoid being alone.
Sorry you had to experience that. Asian myself. I understand why this happens. Mostly boils down to cultural upbringing. When I point that out, I myself have been called a racist
You understand why this happens?
Can you elaborate please?
In most of the countries, sex education is close to nothing or doesn't exist at all. Parents don't bring up the topic of sex anytime. This is the case with my family too. So most people don't have a grasp of consent.
There are different levels to it. You might have heard about lots of horrible sexual assaults happening in these countries and are mentioned in news. In almost all the cases, the perpetrators give the same reason "She was wearing such a dress. She was out late night drinking with men. So they are dirty women and asking for it." Most of them grew up in places where a good woman is supposed to dress modestly, should be at home before its dark and should not be outside with men. It could be society or religion that taught them this. When they moved to metropolitan cities with modern culture and see women behaving totally opposite to what they have been taught so far. Some men understand that what they were taught when growing up was wrong. Some don't. They consider these women as bad women and do these heinous acts claiming that they have the right to do such things
On another level, even well educated men who come to swinger clubs assume that a woman coming to swinger club has practically given consent to be seen wherever they go. They assume that women in swinger clubs have given consent for men to touch them.
So yes. It all boils down to lack of knowledge about consent. Sorry for the digress in between to talk about sexual assaults. I just wanted to make my point about how the kind of society where someone is brought up in, affects his judgement."
Thankyou for your candid and succinct reply
Unfortunately I cannot comment further, as I dont think the English language will provide me with appropriate words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Thankyou for your candid and succinct reply
Unfortunately I cannot comment further, as I dont think the English language will provide me with appropriate words"
No worries. I can say that things are slowly progressing. But it will take some time. Till then, if clubs ban Asians from coming or if women say they don't want to meet Asians, I can understand them. I wouldn't call them racist. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some of these posts are so racist that you can only laugh in despair.
I am an Asian male and part of a couple. I have not been brought up ‘culturally’ to grope women and neither do I do so in clubs. In fact the majority of my male Asian family and friends are all gentlemanly.
Yes let’s ban Asians as the men cannot be trusted. If only some could see the wood from the trees.
Also when we frequent clubs such as le boudoir, ab Fabs, VA, Xtasia and attend private parties all over the country, where are these majority Asian men serial gropers?
We’ve seen groping in clubs but never from an Asian male, just saying...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just another post to publicly apologise to myself for even engaging or acknowledging this thread.
This is a virtual world and life is far too good to respond to such ignorance.
Have a great evening all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some of these posts are so racist that you can only laugh in despair.
I am an Asian male and part of a couple. I have not been brought up ‘culturally’ to grope women and neither do I do so in clubs. In fact the majority of my male Asian family and friends are all gentlemanly.
Yes let’s ban Asians as the men cannot be trusted. If only some could see the wood from the trees.
Also when we frequent clubs such as le boudoir, ab Fabs, VA, Xtasia and attend private parties all over the country, where are these majority Asian men serial gropers?
We’ve seen groping in clubs but never from an Asian male, just saying...
"
I don't see why you take it personally. There are plenty of good Asians out there. But can you say that lack of sex education and objectification of women is not a problem back in our countries?
Saying that all Asian men are like this, is racist. But if a lady has bad experiences with Asian men, it is well within her rights to say she doesn't want to meet Asian men. Similarly, a club owner has the right to decide who to let inside. It's not job opportunities or pay gap we are talking about
AFAIK, if you are going as a couple, they will always let you in, no matter which country you are from. It's the single men who face these problems usually. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Some of these posts are so racist that you can only laugh in despair.
I am an Asian male and part of a couple. I have not been brought up ‘culturally’ to grope women and neither do I do so in clubs. In fact the majority of my male Asian family and friends are all gentlemanly.
Yes let’s ban Asians as the men cannot be trusted. If only some could see the wood from the trees.
Also when we frequent clubs such as le boudoir, ab Fabs, VA, Xtasia and attend private parties all over the country, where are these majority Asian men serial gropers?
We’ve seen groping in clubs but never from an Asian male, just saying...
"
In all fairness, just because you haven't seen it, doesn't mean it doesn't happen. It does happen, not necessarily just Asian guys do it but I agree with the poster above, I think cultural upbringing plays a part in it. |
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"
Unfortunately it has happened twice with us. It’s not everyone far from it. But a much higher percentage. We’ve had times where fella has had escort people to the toilet and sometimes both of us had to go to the bar to avoid being alone.
Sorry you had to experience that. Asian myself. I understand why this happens. Mostly boils down to cultural upbringing. When I point that out, I myself have been called a racist
You understand why this happens?
Can you elaborate please?
In most of the countries, sex education is close to nothing or doesn't exist at all. Parents don't bring up the topic of sex anytime. This is the case with my family too. So most people don't have a grasp of consent.
There are different levels to it. You might have heard about lots of horrible sexual assaults happening in these countries and are mentioned in news. In almost all the cases, the perpetrators give the same reason "She was wearing such a dress. She was out late night drinking with men. So they are dirty women and asking for it." Most of them grew up in places where a good woman is supposed to dress modestly, should be at home before its dark and should not be outside with men. It could be society or religion that taught them this. When they moved to metropolitan cities with modern culture and see women behaving totally opposite to what they have been taught so far. Some men understand that what they were taught when growing up was wrong. Some don't. They consider these women as bad women and do these heinous acts claiming that they have the right to do such things
On another level, even well educated men who come to swinger clubs assume that a woman coming to swinger club has practically given consent to be seen wherever they go. They assume that women in swinger clubs have given consent for men to touch them.
So yes. It all boils down to lack of knowledge about consent. Sorry for the digress in between to talk about sexual assaults. I just wanted to make my point about how the kind of society where someone is brought up in, affects his judgement."
This is the reason I’ve stated a preference for no Asians on our profile as even though I am of Asian origin, I am culturally Scottish but had a lot of issues with Asian men (not Black) who were very forceful or just assumed I was embarrassed to be in a club and thought they had rights over me (mostly when I was solo) We’ve had ppl chat to Ian (not knowing we’re together) and saying unwittingly offensive stuff to him or that ‘they’d love to stick their cock in me as they’ve never been with a Black bird/girl’
I get that I may have tarred some folk with the same brush; I will chat to folk in the clubs and will verify genuine guys but the experiences mentioned mean I’m put off meeting/playing.
Millie |
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By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago
Beyond the shadows. |
Upbringing probably does play a part but that covers everyone not just Asian's. But cultural upbringing? Asia has about 50 different countries, do you really think they all share the same cultures, speak the same language eat the same type off food? If you take India for example there's a difference in culture from state to state from north to south.
Having a preference doesn't necessarily make someone a racist. But assuming all people that look a certain way or are from a certain continent have shared inheritable traits and behave in the same way can at the very least be seen as being very naive. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Upbringing probably does play a part but that covers everyone not just Asian's. But cultural upbringing? Asia has about 50 different countries, do you really think they all share the same cultures, speak the same language eat the same type off food? If you take India for example there's a difference in culture from state to state from north to south.
Having a preference doesn't necessarily make someone a racist. But assuming all people that look a certain way or are from a certain continent have shared inheritable traits and behave in the same way can at the very least be seen as being very naive."
Nobody has said everyone from Asia acts that way. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As in anything in life, it’s the odd few that spoil it for the many.
We have seen some disgusting behaviour from Asian men and Asian Couples in clubs.
Arrogance is the key word  "
and the same of white men and white couples |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So yes. It all boils down to lack of knowledge about consent. Sorry for the digress in between to talk about sexual assaults. I just wanted to make my point about how the kind of society where someone is brought up in, affects his judgement."
Sorry, this isn't accurate. These men know about consent, they just don't see why they would care about consent if they can so easily get away with it. They're bad people, who will only respect consent when they know they'll be punished for not respecting it.
There are lots and lots of Asian men, of Asian upbringing, who respect consent.
And frankly there are lots of white people in clubs that don't respect consent (I should know, I've dealt with them) - but there's no white people on here saying "no white people because we had a bad experience with one".
Nobody should be obligated to have sex with anyone they don't want to, even if they don't want to for racist reasons. But clearly, it is also a racist reason. |
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By *ouple 71Couple
over a year ago
Stonehaven |
"Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin.
We’ve had the exact same problem at clubs. Following ladies into toilets. Just leaning in and grabbing while we are playing with others. We are at the same conclusion. "
Yep , exactly the same experience here! |
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By *arkbaneMan
over a year ago
East leeds |
"As in anything in life, it’s the odd few that spoil it for the many.
We have seen some disgusting behaviour from Asian men and Asian Couples in clubs.
Arrogance is the key word "
But you can say the same about any race ?
It’s just bad behaviour!!! Race should not be mentioned.
A murderer is a murderer regardless of colour of their skin or their race ... |
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By *arkbaneMan
over a year ago
East leeds |
"Fact: unfortunately, the main group behaving like entitled idiots in swingers clubs have been, in my experience, of Middle Eastern/Asian origin. Therefore, I made a decision of not meeting any men of that origin."
Is that racial stereotyping ?
If a few bad eggs then they are all bad !! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you don’t want to meet anyone you don’t have to. It’s that simple. One thing I want to know is. How come it’s acceptable for black people to want to meet black people and Asian people want to meet Asian people, But it’s a problem for white people wanting to meet white people? |
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"If you don’t want to meet anyone you don’t have to. It’s that simple. One thing I want to know is. How come it’s acceptable for black people to want to meet black people and Asian people want to meet Asian people, But it’s a problem for white people wanting to meet white people?"
I don't think anyone's suggested it's not ok for white people preferring to meet white people, it's often the tone in which it's expressed that creates concern for some members.
Incidentally I don't think I've ever seen a profile where black or Asian folks express an exclusive preference for people of a similar ethnic background. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If One thing I want to know is. How come it’s acceptable for black people to want to meet black people and Asian people want to meet Asian people, But it’s a problem for white people wanting to meet white people?"
That's not the problem - the problem is that you're racially profiling people. Lots of people manage to express a preference without resorting to racism.
Assuming all people of a certain ethnicity will act the same is racist, and based on at least my experience in clubs there are enough white guys around doing the same thing you complained about to rule all white men out too, by your logic.
(And here's the kicker - most of the harm is done by expressing that. If you keep your theory about Asian men to yourself there wouldn't be a problem) |
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"If One thing I want to know is. How come it’s acceptable for black people to want to meet black people and Asian people want to meet Asian people, But it’s a problem for white people wanting to meet white people?
That's not the problem - the problem is that you're racially profiling people. Lots of people manage to express a preference without resorting to racism.
Assuming all people of a certain ethnicity will act the same is racist, and based on at least my experience in clubs there are enough white guys around doing the same thing you complained about to rule all white men out too, by your logic.
(And here's the kicker - most of the harm is done by expressing that. If you keep your theory about Asian men to yourself there wouldn't be a problem)"
Interestingly enough the only problems I've (white female) ever encountered in club environments has come from pushy older white males, one of whom when told to get lost said he thought I'd be more open minded (easy) because I was with a black man (my hubby of many years)!
In spite of this I don't assume all white males behave this way or exclude them.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you don’t want to meet anyone you don’t have to. It’s that simple. One thing I want to know is. How come it’s acceptable for black people to want to meet black people and Asian people want to meet Asian people, But it’s a problem for white people wanting to meet white people?"
But Black ppl don't mention as " No Whites " on their profile ..
The issue lies there .
Nobody will go against your wishes .
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By *i015Man
over a year ago
Millbrook, Southampton |
In my limited experience (I've only been to 1 naturist spa a few times and 1 naturist hotel) I've found that it doesn't matter what race/nationality/sex someone is, there are some people who think because they've paid to get into the venue then they have the right to touch someone without permission. When ever I go to a spa, party or even a social event I go with a no expectations apart from meeting new people/friends and getting to know people. I've been to the spa and met a couple that I started chatting to in the steam room before going to the jacuzzi, they then came in to the jacuzzi where we continued our chat, I then left the jacuzzi and went to get a drink as I was leaving another guy (non asian) was getting in the jacuzzi. About five minutes later the couple came in to the lounge area and said to me "we hope to see you again but they are leaving because the guy who joined them in the jacuzzi as I was leaving just started feeling up the lady without asking.
Another experience I had at the hotel was the look I got from a lady when I was sat in the lounge area like I didn't belong there and I was below her (I hadn't even said anything except hello).
Does that put me off from going to venues, am I upset or offended= Nope.
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