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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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My current partner is non monogamous, i suggested we go to clubs and we've even been to a party. Being mono i'm currently very much of being in the mindset of if we were there having fun together and exploring. she's very much in liberally (selfish, in her words) going off and exploring by herself.
I was wondering if any couples split off and enjoy themselves? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i should add if we were there together and she wanted to go off to play with someone i'd say yeah go have fun kinda thing, and it'd still feel a bit more like we were together regarding that communication. but she's not really a swinger in that regard and values to individual components of as relationship rather than playing as a couple.
I think because i'm only dating her i struggle to see her anarchal side sometimes  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We would never ever consider going off and playing alone. But that is we want. Every couple is different.
You don't sound very happy about her doing it though?"
well i think i would just enjoy us exploring said club together. we're basically just travelling up together and going in as two singles in her view, which feels a bit unusual to me.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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i should add she'd enjoy more of a connection than just randomly fucking anyone, which is still what i'd prefer. which is why she wouldnt deem herself a swinger.
Not that swingers fuck anyone. just she likes that relationship connection |
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"We would never ever consider going off and playing alone. But that is we want. Every couple is different.
You don't sound very happy about her doing it though?
well i think i would just enjoy us exploring said club together. we're basically just travelling up together and going in as two singles in her view, which feels a bit unusual to me.
"
Think you need to have a frank discussion. Sounds like you're singing from different hymn sheets. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We would never ever consider going off and playing alone. But that is we want. Every couple is different.
You don't sound very happy about her doing it though?
well i think i would just enjoy us exploring said club together. we're basically just travelling up together and going in as two singles in her view, which feels a bit unusual to me.
Think you need to have a frank discussion. Sounds like you're singing from different hymn sheets."
yeah we talk quite often. its still quite hard to wrap my head around currently. maybe this is because i don't date multiple people and so don't understand the empathy as much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We would never ever consider going off and playing alone. But that is we want. Every couple is different.
You don't sound very happy about her doing it though?
well i think i would just enjoy us exploring said club together. we're basically just travelling up together and going in as two singles in her view, which feels a bit unusual to me.
Think you need to have a frank discussion. Sounds like you're singing from different hymn sheets.
yeah we talk quite often. its still quite hard to wrap my head around currently. maybe this is because i don't date multiple people and so don't understand the empathy as much"
Firstly a lot of clubs do not let couples do what you are doing. They suggest couples have to stay together (though I have yet to see this actively enforced).
Secondly, it sounds like your partner wants their cake and eat it too. You may want to see what you both want from meets and clubs because it doesn't read as the same. I'm sure many would agree that to succeed as a couple in this lifestyle that communication is without a doubt one of the most important aspects, the other being trust.
The only time we split is if Mrs goes into a glory hole or grope box and even then i am reasonably near by or if I go into a jacuzzi and she doesn't. Again she stay with me just outside.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We would never ever consider going off and playing alone. But that is we want. Every couple is different.
You don't sound very happy about her doing it though?
well i think i would just enjoy us exploring said club together. we're basically just travelling up together and going in as two singles in her view, which feels a bit unusual to me.
Think you need to have a frank discussion. Sounds like you're singing from different hymn sheets.
yeah we talk quite often. its still quite hard to wrap my head around currently. maybe this is because i don't date multiple people and so don't understand the empathy as much
Firstly a lot of clubs do not let couples do what you are doing. They suggest couples have to stay together (though I have yet to see this actively enforced).
Secondly, it sounds like your partner wants their cake and eat it too. You may want to see what you both want from meets and clubs because it doesn't read as the same. I'm sure many would agree that to succeed as a couple in this lifestyle that communication is without a doubt one of the most important aspects, the other being trust.
The only time we split is if Mrs goes into a glory hole or grope box and even then i am reasonably near by or if I go into a jacuzzi and she doesn't. Again she stay with me just outside.
"
yeah 100% regarding communication is key, shes a relationship anarchist, so she doesn't see any one relationship as above another. shes very much feeling quite liberated being single and doing what she wants. as you said, wants her cake and eat it too. That definitely leads to alot of differences in what we want. Maybe we do need to find common ground sexually and maybe explore a club with different people. |
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