Any water based lube with do really. But as for the relaxation part, it’s gotta be something she/he is totally comfortable with or else it will be painful for them. Lots and lots of hot, wet foreplay first will help! Good luck!
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"What’s the best lube to use? What’s the best technique to help woman relax etc... love to hear different opinions "
It help if she is really turned on first and then you can start with just touching, stroking and licking. Introduce her to the idea of pleasant feelings from her arse hole. Use a bit of lube even at this stage. Do this a few times during sex before even trying to even slide a finger in.
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