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Polyamorous relationship
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So how many people would actual think about and indulge in a polyamorous Relationship
I’ve been bench thinking about it lately what’s problem thoughts ? Pros/cons?
If you don’t know what i mean please google
Much love brad x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm poly. My husband is mono. Makes it so much more hard work but does work. "
This is me but the other way around!
Takes a lot of honesty and communication on a level I think many people go out of their way to avoid. But... Oh my... La vie est belle! |
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"I don't know what you mean by bench thinking
In the park feeding the ducks, sitting on a bench 
Thanks. The dilemma is whether it is acceptable or not to feed bread to ducks. "
The rspb posted about this recently. There is nothing wrong with feeding bread to ducks, there is better food you can give them but if the choice is bread or nothing, then feed bread  |
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"
The rspb posted about this recently. There is nothing wrong with feeding bread to ducks, there is better food you can give them but if the choice is bread or nothing, then feed bread "
Thanks for clarification |
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"Out of curiosity, does there always have to be a primary female? E. G wife and gf or do some just have 2 GFs that "get along"? "
There are no hard and fast rules. Some people practice hierarchical poly where they have a primary relationship which they prioritise above other connections. Some treat all connections as an equal level. Some might be poly but closed...eg Bob might see Sue and Ann, Sue sees Bob and Steve and Lisa, Ann sees Bob and Lisa, Steve only sees Ann, and Lisa sees Ann and Sue. There's 5 people in that polycule and they might all agree to not see anyone else. Or you can be poly and open. Etc. There's so many different variations, it's what works for you and your partners. And communication is what is important to make sure everyone's needs are met and that it's working for all involved. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity, does there always have to be a primary female? E. G wife and gf or do some just have 2 GFs that "get along"?
There are no hard and fast rules. Some people practice hierarchical poly where they have a primary relationship which they prioritise above other connections. Some treat all connections as an equal level. Some might be poly but closed...eg Bob might see Sue and Ann, Sue sees Bob and Steve and Lisa, Ann sees Bob and Lisa, Steve only sees Ann, and Lisa sees Ann and Sue. There's 5 people in that polycule and they might all agree to not see anyone else. Or you can be poly and open. Etc. There's so many different variations, it's what works for you and your partners. And communication is what is important to make sure everyone's needs are met and that it's working for all involved. "
Sounds deliciously complicated |
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"Recently started seeing 2 women intimately and regularly does that count ? "
You just wanted everyone to know that you've got two women on the go, didn't you?? 
Which is fair enough, as I'd want to do the same if it were me |
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Me and my husband are both able to have sex with other people with no jealousy. We have rules but the freedom is still there.
I need a deeper connection to enjoy sex with someone else and once I find someone who I have this with I see, them regularly and don’t really meet other people.
My husband tends meet women as a one off.
I’m confused to if that makes us poly or not. What do you think? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently started seeing 2 women intimately and regularly does that count ?
It’s a lot more than just seeing 2 women  "
Oh I know! Its alot about respect and trust, they both know about each other but have not met, I'm not sure yet that they want to either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Recently started seeing 2 women intimately and regularly does that count ?
You just wanted everyone to know that you've got two women on the go, didn't you??
Which is fair enough, as I'd want to do the same if it were me "
It was more the fact it's new to me and wanted to post on the thread out of interest.
But maybe you are right to a degree  |
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"Me and my husband are both able to have sex with other people with no jealousy. We have rules but the freedom is still there.
I need a deeper connection to enjoy sex with someone else and once I find someone who I have this with I see, them regularly and don’t really meet other people.
My husband tends meet women as a one off.
I’m confused to if that makes us poly or not. What do you think? "
If that's what works for you, then the label isn't important.
But from my definition, poly is allowing an emotional connection (including loving more than one person) so to me, sounds like you do poly and he does swinging.
what's important is you defining whatever relationship rules and boundaries work for you.
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Poly relationships are something that’s always very much appealed to me and something I’d like to explore. Happy with being part of an MMF as much as an MFF, though I’m straight. Started talking to a couple about the possibility of joining them and unfortunately it hasn’t worked out yet, which is sad - hopefully one day!
PS. Yes to feeding the ducks bread, but not too much! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Me and my husband are both able to have sex with other people with no jealousy. We have rules but the freedom is still there.
I need a deeper connection to enjoy sex with someone else and once I find someone who I have this with I see, them regularly and don’t really meet other people.
My husband tends meet women as a one off.
I’m confused to if that makes us poly or not. What do you think?
If that's what works for you, then the label isn't important.
But from my definition, poly is allowing an emotional connection (including loving more than one person) so to me, sounds like you do poly and he does swinging.
what's important is you defining whatever relationship rules and boundaries work for you.
"
This sounds like my situation, I wouldn't let any feelings myself develope , I find it easier with just one partner for the feelings side of things. |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
A big yes to this type of relationship - neither of us are particularly interested in casual sex with strangers.
I (male) did have a poly relationship with two females - as long as you lean towards the 'no drama' end of the spectrum and all have excellent communication, it can be a mind-blowing dynamic.
Imo it burns a lot hotter than a mono relationship so wouldn't expect it to last as long, but hang on to your hats and enjoy the ride for as long as it does |
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"A big yes to this type of relationship - neither of us are particularly interested in casual sex with strangers.
I (male) did have a poly relationship with two females - as long as you lean towards the 'no drama' end of the spectrum and all have excellent communication, it can be a mind-blowing dynamic.
Imo it burns a lot hotter than a mono relationship so wouldn't expect it to last as long, but hang on to your hats and enjoy the ride for as long as it does "
 |
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"Out of curiosity, does there always have to be a primary female? E. G wife and gf or do some just have 2 GFs that "get along"? "
Some friends of mine are in a V. He has been with one longer but even the one he met second he has been with for 4 years. He's engaged to them both but obviously can't marry them both and he splits his week between homes he shares with each of them. He also has a dog with each haha!
There doesn't really HAVE to be anything as long as everyone involved is happy and not being deceived in any way. |
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I'm Poly. I'm also a relationship anarchist. I've been with my nesting partner for nearly 4 years and I've dated a few people on and off. I've currently been seeing someone else for a little over a year but while we're close he's more of a comet partner due to life circumstances. My nesting partner has another partner he see's regulary and he's been seeing her for over a year. She's now a good friend of mine. |
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By *ouble CCouple
over a year ago
Gran Canaria |
If it works for you then do it.
It's not for us but live and let live.
Do research.
Keep communicating.
Be honest.
Hard and fast rules MUST be kept to.
We have a few friends who are polyamorous and/or in Open relationships and sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.
Just don't fall into the trap of 'I'm Poly so no condoms are needed for sex' then things can get REALLY complicated and messy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Out of curiosity, does there always have to be a primary female? E. G wife and gf or do some just have 2 GFs that "get along"?
Some friends of mine are in a V. He has been with one longer but even the one he met second he has been with for 4 years. He's engaged to them both but obviously can't marry them both and he splits his week between homes he shares with each of them. He also has a dog with each haha!
There doesn't really HAVE to be anything as long as everyone involved is happy and not being deceived in any way."
Makes sense. Hopefully some day... |
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"I'm Poly. I'm also a relationship anarchist. I've been with my nesting partner for nearly 4 years and I've dated a few people on and off. I've currently been seeing someone else for a little over a year but while we're close he's more of a comet partner due to life circumstances. My nesting partner has another partner he see's regulary and he's been seeing her for over a year. She's now a good friend of mine."
I'm curious,What is a comet partner? Not heard that before  |
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"
What is a comet partner? Not heard that before
Someone who shoots off unexpectedly ?"
Lmao! Or comes once every thousand years!
I'll be disappointed if she just meant he works in the eletrical store!lol |
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"I'm Poly. I'm also a relationship anarchist. I've been with my nesting partner for nearly 4 years and I've dated a few people on and off. I've currently been seeing someone else for a little over a year but while we're close he's more of a comet partner due to life circumstances. My nesting partner has another partner he see's regulary and he's been seeing her for over a year. She's now a good friend of mine.
I'm curious,What is a comet partner? Not heard that before "
I'm not good at explaining these things so I found a definition on Google. My favourite is this one I found on Reddit: "A person that passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome, and when gone you are still in contact with that person in some way but they are not a continuous partner." |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm Poly. I'm also a relationship anarchist. I've been with my nesting partner for nearly 4 years and I've dated a few people on and off. I've currently been seeing someone else for a little over a year but while we're close he's more of a comet partner due to life circumstances. My nesting partner has another partner he see's regulary and he's been seeing her for over a year. She's now a good friend of mine.
I'm curious,What is a comet partner? Not heard that before
I'm not good at explaining these things so I found a definition on Google. My favourite is this one I found on Reddit: "A person that passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome, and when gone you are still in contact with that person in some way but they are not a continuous partner.""
I'd think with such a complicated relationship arrangement you'd have sex on tap, ah scrap that I've been married and should know better |
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"I'm Poly. I'm also a relationship anarchist. I've been with my nesting partner for nearly 4 years and I've dated a few people on and off. I've currently been seeing someone else for a little over a year but while we're close he's more of a comet partner due to life circumstances. My nesting partner has another partner he see's regulary and he's been seeing her for over a year. She's now a good friend of mine.
I'm curious,What is a comet partner? Not heard that before
I'm not good at explaining these things so I found a definition on Google. My favourite is this one I found on Reddit: "A person that passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome, and when gone you are still in contact with that person in some way but they are not a continuous partner.""
Thanks
I've had a couple of "comet partners" in my teens then lol |
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"I'm Poly. I'm also a relationship anarchist. I've been with my nesting partner for nearly 4 years and I've dated a few people on and off. I've currently been seeing someone else for a little over a year but while we're close he's more of a comet partner due to life circumstances. My nesting partner has another partner he see's regulary and he's been seeing her for over a year. She's now a good friend of mine.
I'm curious,What is a comet partner? Not heard that before
I'm not good at explaining these things so I found a definition on Google. My favourite is this one I found on Reddit: "A person that passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome, and when gone you are still in contact with that person in some way but they are not a continuous partner."
I'd think with such a complicated relationship arrangement you'd have sex on tap, ah scrap that I've been married and should know better "
I do not have sex on tap  |
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"So , to anyone that knows, is there a difference to being poly, and being in an open relationship? Is it just a terminology difference, or are there differences here?"
For me an open relationship has always meant sexually open but polyamorous means open to more than one romantic connection. You can be one or the other or both. You can be romantically monogamous but have an open relationship. Some people practice closed polyamory where they have more than one partner but are sexually exclusive to those people. Some people like myself are both. I'm polyamorous but also in an open relationship. I'm therefore open to casual sex as well as other romantic connections. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'd think with such a complicated relationship arrangement you'd have sex on tap, ah scrap that I've been married and should know better
I do not have sex on tap "
I'm wondering why not |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So , to anyone that knows, is there a difference to being poly, and being in an open relationship? Is it just a terminology difference, or are there differences here?
For me an open relationship has always meant sexually open but polyamorous means open to more than one romantic connection. You can be one or the other or both. You can be romantically monogamous but have an open relationship. Some people practice closed polyamory where they have more than one partner but are sexually exclusive to those people. Some people like myself are both. I'm polyamorous but also in an open relationship. I'm therefore open to casual sex as well as other romantic connections."
Seems Very well explained to my understanding of it anyway |
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"So , to anyone that knows, is there a difference to being poly, and being in an open relationship? Is it just a terminology difference, or are there differences here?
For me an open relationship has always meant sexually open but polyamorous means open to more than one romantic connection. You can be one or the other or both. You can be romantically monogamous but have an open relationship. Some people practice closed polyamory where they have more than one partner but are sexually exclusive to those people. Some people like myself are both. I'm polyamorous but also in an open relationship. I'm therefore open to casual sex as well as other romantic connections."
Ok thats clearer,So basically, poly relationships have feelings attached as opposed to open which just generally physical. Think I've got it |
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Absolutely .. I see things as no one owns anyone . Arguably someone only stays with someone because like some animals they chose to .
Also ,think of the new experiences and things adding or being added to a group would bring ? Certainly happy to at least entertain the idea . |
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" I'm not good at explaining these things so I found a definition on Google. My favourite is this one I found on Reddit: "A person that passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome, and when gone you are still in contact with that person in some way but they are not a continuous partner.""
That's a very good way of putting it and probably relates to quite a few peoples relationships on here. Sorry coming in a bit late to the conversation x |
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" I'm not good at explaining these things so I found a definition on Google. My favourite is this one I found on Reddit: "A person that passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome, and when gone you are still in contact with that person in some way but they are not a continuous partner."
That's a very good way of putting it and probably relates to quite a few peoples relationships on here. Sorry coming in a bit late to the conversation x"
Yeah it's a lovely little term. No need to be sorry! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Two words: Google Calendar. Makes everything go a lot more smoothly."
I'd die to see some of those entries. Club meet with A, date night with B&C, work drinks with A&C |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I had to sit down, think hard and put a name to our relationship I'd say that we are probably classed as poly these days. Wolf has a girlfriend that he "dates" and that many of our friends know about. I have what I've now learnt, thanks to this thread, a comet who I see maybe 6-7 times a year if our schedules align, it's intense and then he shoots off again. We also play together with couples who have become "real life" friends....maybe we're better just described as open...whats in a name anyways! Lol
Red |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
We are now in a hierarchical exclusive relationship with a single female. It wasn’t exclusive to start with on her side but it seems her so called Poly Male friend wasn’t happy with her not being exclusive to him (It was never agreed she would be) despite him having two others on the go.
It is new & early days still for us & we pretty much dived straight into bed but backed off a bit as it was too much too soon as she was here whole weekends interacting totally with the family. This is the side we are working on as we have four kids between us & we need to think of them as well as us.
Our ultimate aim is to date as three or either arrangement of two.
For the right person we are also open to the idea of them living with us although that would take sometime to develop.
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would love LittleMiss to have a girlfriend and if she is interested in me as well then excellent. If not, that's ok too. Probably something we won't explore for a few years though as the kids are so young |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how many people would actual think about and indulge in a polyamorous Relationship
I’ve been bench thinking about it lately what’s problem thoughts ? Pros/cons? "
Relationship anarchy is how I stay sane. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"We would love a poly relationship, however I suspect there would be a lot more of a relationship between L and a lady.
Me, well..,, "
Just to explain, it would have to be a three way okay relationship. |
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its more trouble then its worth.
better for your sanity not getting involved unless its with someone who is a genuine poly not just looking to cheat on her husband then wipe it in his face cause she too scared to and reliant on him for cash to divorce him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know what you mean by bench thinking
In the park feeding the ducks, sitting on a bench
Thanks. The dilemma is whether it is acceptable or not to feed bread to ducks.
The rspb posted about this recently. There is nothing wrong with feeding bread to ducks, there is better food you can give them but if the choice is bread or nothing, then feed bread "
Also.... Don't give milk to cats people. But chocolate for dogs, and baking soda for birds is fine. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Interesting read, I like the idea of poly but not sure I'd be good for it.
Think I may dislike it when others were with each other at times where I wanted to be with one of them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I see a women who is poly but she has a rule that I’m not allowed to meet anyone while we see each other, is that normal?
I don’t have an issue with it but just curious |
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"I'm Poly. I'm also a relationship anarchist. I've been with my nesting partner for nearly 4 years and I've dated a few people on and off. I've currently been seeing someone else for a little over a year but while we're close he's more of a comet partner due to life circumstances. My nesting partner has another partner he see's regulary and he's been seeing her for over a year. She's now a good friend of mine.
I'm curious,What is a comet partner? Not heard that before
I'm not good at explaining these things so I found a definition on Google. My favourite is this one I found on Reddit: "A person that passes through your life repeatedly who is intense and awesome, and when gone you are still in contact with that person in some way but they are not a continuous partner.""
That's my favourite definition too! X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We have so much respect for those that are in a poly relationship. As someone put it 'the delicious complexities' and the complex feelings involved, but we imagine those feeling can be so rewarding (not best choice if words I'm sorry).
As I said we really respect and admire the dynamics, we would say we have good self control and very low levels of jealousy (the little we do have we enjoy) but with love we are 100% monogamous x |
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"So , to anyone that knows, is there a difference to being poly, and being in an open relationship? Is it just a terminology difference, or are there differences here?"
My understanding is that it comes more from the emotional side. Poly is being open and having feelings for multiple people that are reciprocated. But I’m honestly not sure! |
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I’ve not really had a chance to explore it properly. All I know is I care/love very easily and it’s never confined to just one person at a time. I spent years in a previous relationship feeling intense guilt as I had feelings for other people but didn’t really understand that there was any other option to monogamy. I just thought I was a bad person or something was wrong with me.
I’ve done a lot of soul searching since that relationship ended. Been single now for a very long time. I think I was so restricted in that relationship that I’m almost afraid of going back in to something again. I keep waiting for the right people who might understand me. In the meantime swinging is a fun alternative. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So , to anyone that knows, is there a difference to being poly, and being in an open relationship? Is it just a terminology difference, or are there differences here?
My understanding is that it comes more from the emotional side. Poly is being open and having feelings for multiple people that are reciprocated. But I’m honestly not sure!"
That's accurate for how I've defined it in our relationships. X |
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And as an extra thought, I really don’t think most humans are designed to be monogamous. We can love multiple friends or family members, so why can’t we intimately love multiple people? BUT I do believe a lot of humans would struggle to be actively polyamorous.
There’s a hell of a lot of complicated thoughts and emotions when it comes to combining both love and intimacy. A lot of people struggle to be open and honest, which are key parts of truly being poly. It’s also difficult for people to accept that a partner is their own individual entity that isn’t “owned”. The idea that people are each other’s “better half” for instance. People should be a whole that are enriched by others, seeing ourselves as half of something is demeaning when you think about it.
It’s hard as Western society constantly enforces that toxic versions of monogamy are the only option. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know what you mean by bench thinking"
Just seen your profile off the back of your comment and now found something to add to the fab bucket list ????x |
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"I’m alright with like the ‘open relationship’ part and doing whatever freely but wouldn’t want to live in a house as a throuple. "
The media makes that seem a lot more common in polyamory than it is. One of my bug bears! So many people assume I'm dating my partners other partner too but I'm not . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm poly. I'm married and love my husband. I'm also madly in love with Beast. My husband knew I was poly when he met me. He's in full consent and knows I need more than a monogamous relationship. Beast and my husband have met and get on well. We would never get to a point of living as a three as beast has his own life and family and I wouldn't fancy explaining it to my teenage son. But my friends have met Beast and my closest friends in the vanilla world also know about him
Belle
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I'm poly. I'm married and love my husband. I'm also madly in love with Beast. My husband knew I was poly when he met me. He's in full consent and knows I need more than a monogamous relationship. Beast and my husband have met and get on well. We would never get to a point of living as a three as beast has his own life and family and I wouldn't fancy explaining it to my teenage son. But my friends have met Beast and my closest friends in the vanilla world also know about him
Belle
"
Is your husband truly free to have the same though if he chose to?
x
S&H |
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We are poly/ethically non mono and very interested to connect socially and perhaps playfully with other like minded folks here. No time contribute further now or read the the thread so for now Happy Christmas to all of you. Anna & Jake |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We are open to the idea of having a third in our relationship but it wont be until our son has flown the nest. Not so the third can move in but so we dont have to do the sneaking around bit.
The struggle will be finding someone we all have mutual feelings for, we would prefer to do it this way than to do it separately so we all get to enjoy the full benefits of it.
We arent the jealous or paranoid type we just like to do these things together as part or enhancing our relationship, and most importantly we have created a family that takes priority over everything else
M x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s also difficult for people to accept that a partner is their own individual entity that isn’t “owned”. The idea that people are each other’s “better half” for instance. People should be a whole that are enriched by others, seeing ourselves as half of something is demeaning when you think about it."
Very well said |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm poly. I'm married and love my husband. I'm also madly in love with Beast. My husband knew I was poly when he met me. He's in full consent and knows I need more than a monogamous relationship. Beast and my husband have met and get on well. We would never get to a point of living as a three as beast has his own life and family and I wouldn't fancy explaining it to my teenage son. But my friends have met Beast and my closest friends in the vanilla world also know about him
Belle
Is your husband truly free to have the same though if he chose to?
x
S&H"
Absolutely he has a profile here
And Beast has a long term partner too. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I'm poly. I'm married and love my husband. I'm also madly in love with Beast. My husband knew I was poly when he met me. He's in full consent and knows I need more than a monogamous relationship. Beast and my husband have met and get on well. We would never get to a point of living as a three as beast has his own life and family and I wouldn't fancy explaining it to my teenage son. But my friends have met Beast and my closest friends in the vanilla world also know about him
Belle
Is your husband truly free to have the same though if he chose to?
x
S&H
Absolutely he has a profile here
And Beast has a long term partner too. "
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i'm currently dating someone who is currently solo poly (basically focusing on herself and kids and just dating), shes seeing 5 people! It's definitely odd dating said person from a mono perspective. I think being able to build a connection with others given i'm in this place to see if poly is for me is what i'm after currently x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't know what you mean by bench thinking
In the park feeding the ducks, sitting on a bench
Thanks. The dilemma is whether it is acceptable or not to feed bread to ducks. "
they might be wheat intolerant |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So how many people would actual think about and indulge in a polyamorous Relationship
I’ve been bench thinking about it lately what’s problem thoughts ? Pros/cons?
If you don’t know what i mean please google
Much love brad x "
Not the scene for me
Good luck though OP |
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R (Male) been wanting me and T to try this for years (mmf) we’re getting close to it happening, T sees a good friend of ours for massage swops with a little extra!! He knows I give my full consent to this, although as far as he is concerned I only know about the massage, in time we hope to take the next step of letting him know that I actively encourage T into doing the extras and maybe we can become a 3
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"i'm currently dating someone who is currently solo poly (basically focusing on herself and kids and just dating), shes seeing 5 people! It's definitely odd dating said person from a mono perspective. I think being able to build a connection with others given i'm in this place to see if poly is for me is what i'm after currently x"
Our g/f had other Poly partners one of either sex. The Male moved back to his home country & the female for some “Poly” reason wasn’t happy she was meeting us....Seems she was a bit surprised when it was her that got told “Off you trot then”.
Another case of someone so busy applying labels they have no time to just suck it & see.
S&H |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I (mrs) have always wanted a girlfriend as well. My boyfriend is totally accepting of this. He isn't interested in being in a relationship with another woman but I would need them to be good friends. Seems impossible to find  |
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"I (mrs) have always wanted a girlfriend as well. My boyfriend is totally accepting of this. He isn't interested in being in a relationship with another woman but I would need them to be good friends. Seems impossible to find "
Dont give up is my advice you will find a great girlfriend as your a gorgeous girl yourself |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No, I don't think so. I know it's fiction, but one of the main characters in the SWAT reboot TV show was in a poly relationship and it just didn't seem very equal. She initially wanted to be with the girl, got into a poly relationship with the girls fiancée and it ended because she was in love with the girl, but not the guy. The girl felt the same way, but couldn't break up with the guy until after the wedding because they'd been planning it for too long. Again I know it's fiction, but it just seems like a surefire way to get your heart broken. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I absolutely couldn't bare the thought of my husband having a loving relationship with another woman while married to me.. but if it works for you guys, good luck |
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"I absolutely couldn't bare the thought of my husband having a loving relationship with another woman while married to me.. but if it works for you guys, good luck "
What would he think about you having a loving relationship with another man (or even woman, come to that) ?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I absolutely couldn't bare the thought of my husband having a loving relationship with another woman while married to me.. but if it works for you guys, good luck
What would he think about you having a loving relationship with another man (or even woman, come to that) ??"
The same I think...
Lust sex and loving sex and 2 separate things for us |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"No, I don't think so. I know it's fiction, but one of the main characters in the SWAT reboot TV show was in a poly relationship and it just didn't seem very equal. She initially wanted to be with the girl, got into a poly relationship with the girls fiancée and it ended because she was in love with the girl, but not the guy. The girl felt the same way, but couldn't break up with the guy until after the wedding because they'd been planning it for too long. Again I know it's fiction, but it just seems like a surefire way to get your heart broken. "
It is an oddity of the Poly world to us that somehow many think a couple will hurt a single? Just logic to us says that at some point in the future the chances are our gf (A single mum of 32) will probably find someone to settle with or that person may be able to give her more time & want to be exclusive. In short there’s more chance of her dumping us than the other way around.
& yet all we hear on Poly groups is how couples are a bad idea as they hold the upper hand in this respect. We think it’s just theres twice as much chance of the single fucking up & saying/doing something the couple might not find acceptable.
It’s not “Upper hand” it’s mathematical
S
S |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I absolutely couldn't bare the thought of my husband having a loving relationship with another woman while married to me.. but if it works for you guys, good luck
What would he think about you having a loving relationship with another man (or even woman, come to that) ??
The same I think...
Lust sex and loving sex and 2 separate things for us "
As a species though we are not naturally monogamous it’s been bred & drummed into us by society & religion. I could say I Love our gf, differently than I do H, & H will love her differently than she does me.
To us there is no reason why given time someone cannot love people in equal measure. What stops a lot of people is not that they can’t it’s that they won’t, they “Need” to feel that they are the “Special” one in someone’s life. Even if nothing changed if there were another.
It’s what’s in your head that stops it, not what’s in your chest.
It’s like we can’t get our heads around couples that say “Yep you can fuck her, Anal is on the cards too, but no kissing” wtf is all that about??
Not saying it’s wrong as it works for many, but if I didn’t WANT to kiss you I certainly wouldn’t be fucking you & if I can’t do one there won’t be the other.
How they see kissing as more intimate than the other two is beyond us. But there you go everyone is different on here. It’s what makes it an interesting place
S
S
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I absolutely couldn't bare the thought of my husband having a loving relationship with another woman while married to me.. but if it works for you guys, good luck
What would he think about you having a loving relationship with another man (or even woman, come to that) ??
The same I think...
Lust sex and loving sex and 2 separate things for us
As a species though we are not naturally monogamous it’s been bred & drummed into us by society & religion. I could say I Love our gf, differently than I do H, & H will love her differently than she does me.
To us there is no reason why given time someone cannot love people in equal measure. What stops a lot of people is not that they can’t it’s that they won’t, they “Need” to feel that they are the “Special” one in someone’s life. Even if nothing changed if there were another.
It’s what’s in your head that stops it, not what’s in your chest.
It’s like we can’t get our heads around couples that say “Yep you can fuck her, Anal is on the cards too, but no kissing” wtf is all that about??
Not saying it’s wrong as it works for many, but if I didn’t WANT to kiss you I certainly wouldn’t be fucking you & if I can’t do one there won’t be the other.
How they see kissing as more intimate than the other two is beyond us. But there you go everyone is different on here. It’s what makes it an interesting place
S
S
"
For what it's worth.. I don't get the No kissy kissy rule either.. but each to their own  |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"I absolutely couldn't bare the thought of my husband having a loving relationship with another woman while married to me.. but if it works for you guys, good luck
What would he think about you having a loving relationship with another man (or even woman, come to that) ??
The same I think...
Lust sex and loving sex and 2 separate things for us
As a species though we are not naturally monogamous it’s been bred & drummed into us by society & religion. I could say I Love our gf, differently than I do H, & H will love her differently than she does me.
To us there is no reason why given time someone cannot love people in equal measure. What stops a lot of people is not that they can’t it’s that they won’t, they “Need” to feel that they are the “Special” one in someone’s life. Even if nothing changed if there were another.
It’s what’s in your head that stops it, not what’s in your chest.
It’s like we can’t get our heads around couples that say “Yep you can fuck her, Anal is on the cards too, but no kissing” wtf is all that about??
Not saying it’s wrong as it works for many, but if I didn’t WANT to kiss you I certainly wouldn’t be fucking you & if I can’t do one there won’t be the other.
How they see kissing as more intimate than the other two is beyond us. But there you go everyone is different on here. It’s what makes it an interesting place
S
S
For what it's worth.. I don't get the No kissy kissy rule either.. but each to their own "
L wouldn’t play if there was no kissing., anywhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For it to be classed as ‘poly’ do you have to live together, if the answer is no then yes I would consider it.
Not sure if I would want to ‘live’ full time with another adult, again but have thought about having multiple long term committed relationships at once. Each meeting a different need, not just sexual. |
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By *yesgreenMan
over a year ago
north and south |
"For it to be classed as ‘poly’ do you have to live together, if the answer is no then yes I would consider it.
Not sure if I would want to ‘live’ full time with another adult, again but have thought about having multiple long term committed relationships at once. Each meeting a different need, not just sexual."
I have tried to incorporate this in to my life by being honest with ladies in my life , but I guess some don't thing sharing can work but it has when they never knew ?? |
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"For it to be classed as ‘poly’ do you have to live together, if the answer is no then yes I would consider it.
Not sure if I would want to ‘live’ full time with another adult, again but have thought about having multiple long term committed relationships at once. Each meeting a different need, not just sexual."
Absolutely not. You can be Polyamorous and not live with any partners. Personally I live with my long term partner. In my experience it's quite rare that people love with more than one partner though I do know a guy who splits his time between living with his two partners. |
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I would certainly give it strong consideration. I was once in a poly dynamic that did not work but but I wouldn't write off trying again.
Monogamy doesn't work for me but neither does swinging without a foundation of intimacy as a bare minimum somewhere in the mix. What ultimately works for me is likely to be a mix of a few things. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For it to be classed as ‘poly’ do you have to live together, if the answer is no then yes I would consider it.
Not sure if I would want to ‘live’ full time with another adult, again but have thought about having multiple long term committed relationships at once. Each meeting a different need, not just sexual.
Absolutely not. You can be Polyamorous and not live with any partners. Personally I live with my long term partner. In my experience it's quite rare that people love with more than one partner though I do know a guy who splits his time between living with his two partners."
Thank you. Good too know |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm poly and will never go back to being mono. I've realised it was a "missing piece" - a part of me all along, it's a fundamental part of who I am."
=======================================
Hi, I've been polyamorous since I was 16 years old and in Singapore and Hong Kong where polyamory is pretty normal. Mainly polyamorous 121 and MFF and FFM with other likeminded independent and free thinking partners. Like you said ... it's a fundamental part of who I am (too). |
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Been there, was nice in some ways. But what people forget is that people change. And when one person in three or more changes their feelings about it, you’re fucked. Not worth the hassle. Not against it from a moral standpoint. We have done it. But it’s super difficult and it’s not worth the heartache. If one of the people begins to fall out of love with one of the others, you will always have problems. |
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"For it to be classed as ‘poly’ do you have to live together, if the answer is no then yes I would consider it.
Not sure if I would want to ‘live’ full time with another adult, again but have thought about having multiple long term committed relationships at once. Each meeting a different need, not just sexual.
Absolutely not. You can be Polyamorous and not live with any partners. Personally I live with my long term partner. In my experience it's quite rare that people love with more than one partner though I do know a guy who splits his time between living with his two partners."
I don't live with any of my poly partners and we are all committed to each others feelings, communication is key to sustaining multiple relationships |
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T (female half) is seeing a good friend of ours on the quiet, I actively encourage it, he doesn’t know that I know, but so far it’s going great, we see him as friend together at weekends, I would love to tell him I know and love it, but worried about scaring him off, he has a gf who we see socially too, so we have to be very careful. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"T (female half) is seeing a good friend of ours on the quiet, I actively encourage it, he doesn’t know that I know, but so far it’s going great, we see him as friend together at weekends, I would love to tell him I know and love it, but worried about scaring him off, he has a gf who we see socially too, so we have to be very careful."
So as far as he is concerned he’s cheating on his gf & on you if you like.
I think you need to read more about what Poly means, it’s not just about fucking someone else let alone fucking someone else behind others backs....
S |
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" So as far as he is concerned he’s cheating on his gf & on you if you like.
I think you need to read more about what Poly means, it’s not just about fucking someone else let alone fucking someone else behind others backs.... "
Ooof yes! Honesty and trust are key components in successful and healthy polyamory. It's about love not just lust. |
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