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Affection after swapping
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whats other couples opinion on affection with the couple you’ve swapped with?
It’s happened a few times now where the other couple try to show affection to one of us, I.e stroking, holding hands etc.
We understand it’s something others might enjoy, but it just feels so awkward for us. We can full swap, but it’s just sex to us, we don’t want anything else, but then it’s embarrassing to say anything to them in case it hurts their feelings. |
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Yep, have experienced when I was with the ex, and yes, it feels wrong. I’d much sooner be doing that with the guy I’m with.
I don’t mind laying in a heap after sex, where your all ‘coming down’. But once that’s done, shower and dressed for me  |
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By *irtySekretsCouple
over a year ago
Filthy Desires Upon Trent |
I personally hate it if we have played with a Single Guy at a Club and after he’s trying to hold Ess’s hand or puts an arm around her waste when we are standing at the Bar.
And don’t get me started when he tries to kiss her neck and back  xx |
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"whats other couples opinion on affection with the couple you’ve swapped with?
It’s happened a few times now where the other couple try to show affection to one of us, I.e stroking, holding hands etc.
We understand it’s something others might enjoy, but it just feels so awkward for us. We can full swap, but it’s just sex to us, we don’t want anything else, but then it’s embarrassing to say anything to them in case it hurts their feelings."
Spot on. It's just sex to us, the other person is just an extension of our sex life. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think as long as everyone is aware of the set up. Although I can be tactile I will respect the wishes of who I am with. Nothing worse than not knowing how to be post sex lol |
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By *rof_cplCouple
over a year ago
Gerrards Cross |
We have no problem with affection after sex. We find sex much better when it's with people we have some kind of connection with and prefer it to be passionate with lots of kissing, not mechanical.
It's still "just sex" at the end of the day, not a relationship, but we wouldn't want to feel too detached.
If people don't want that then that's also fine, depends on the people you're with. |
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By *ootleCouple
over a year ago
Romford, Essex |
Wow - and there I was thinking it was just me !
When we have been to a club, and had fun with a single guy (threesome), its amazing how often the guy will think they have somehow just got into a relationship with me, they have even tried to muscle in between me and my husband afterwards, hand round my waist, trying to kiss etc. We never want to offend anyone so normally just slope off quietly.
But just to balance things out there are also times when the guy (we rarely swing with couples) is great - we talk, just like normal people would talk to each other in a club or bar and then go our sperate ways understanding that what happened was just good fun.
It's not rocket science is it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I totally agree...I dont want to see my man getting affection off another woman. Full sex is fine but holding his hand, stroking his manly arms (love his tattooed arms) would get looks from me.
It was even over chat with another couple on kik. She was getting overly familiar with MrD and I didnt like it. I told him it didnt make me feel comfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funny how we are all happy with full sex and oral etc but wobble at a hand hold or a cuddle pmsl"
Lol it is a bit mad. Affection for me is knowing intimately your partner and knowing the way they like to be touched in a non-sexual way. I dont mind his cock in someone else but dont be stroking the back of his head where my hand belongs!!! |
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"Funny how we are all happy with full sex and oral etc but wobble at a hand hold or a cuddle pmsl
Lol it is a bit mad. Affection for me is knowing intimately your partner and knowing the way they like to be touched in a non-sexual way. I dont mind his cock in someone else but dont be stroking the back of his head where my hand belongs!!!"
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"We have no problem with affection after sex. We find sex much better when it's with people we have some kind of connection with and prefer it to be passionate with lots of kissing, not mechanical.
It's still "just sex" at the end of the day, not a relationship, but we wouldn't want to feel too detached. "
Absolutely !. We/I like a connection with others throughout the meet. Touching, holding hands, kissing, stroking before, during and after. Of course we're not looking for a 'relationship' but sexy friendship yes. Without such affection it would be exactly that, "just sex", mechanical without feelings, human touch. While giving a girl oral during a recent meet she held my hands, it felt so much better. My god sex could not be more affectionate itself !, I wonder what the OP is worried about... |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
There's a similar thread to this running in the Lounge currently that was posted by a single female (I suspect possibly in response to this thread) and it's interesting to note the differences - I can totally understand why it would be different for couples as opposed to singles too.
Displays of affection in the singles swinging world are often part and parcel of a meet, and the overall experience - whereas when couples meet (either other couples or singles) they already have that level of affection and intimacy between each other, so it's not necessary or required on a meet, add to that the whole thing about boundaries and respecting partners and it is totally understandable why affection would be less common.
I've met a couple on my own before, and wouldn't dream of attempting to hold hands or put an arm round one of them after - not only would it feel disrespectful, but it would feel awkward too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's a similar thread to this running in the Lounge currently that was posted by a single female (I suspect possibly in response to this thread) and it's interesting to note the differences - I can totally understand why it would be different for couples as opposed to singles too.
Displays of affection in the singles swinging world are often part and parcel of a meet, and the overall experience - whereas when couples meet (either other couples or singles) they already have that level of affection and intimacy between each other, so it's not necessary or required on a meet, add to that the whole thing about boundaries and respecting partners and it is totally understandable why affection would be less common.
I've met a couple on my own before, and wouldn't dream of attempting to hold hands or put an arm round one of them after - not only would it feel disrespectful, but it would feel awkward too "
Think this is totally spot on. Different for singles swinging rather than couples. If I was a single gal swinging, I would want some affection but as part of a couple, I would not expect it and it would kinda freak me out if a guy was with me tbh. I dont even think it would make a difference if we knew the couple/guy very well.....I reserve affection for my partner only. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
Depends!!
We had one single guy who was far too full on!!
But it depends on the circumstances. Weve become good friends with one couple weve played with. So we do hugs, etc. But that's more of a friends thing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Would be a bit cold for us to not show some affection for the people we have sex with. It is only natural to have some feelings for the people you have just had the most intimate act with. Some people we have been with are all over us after the act and vice versa but it has to be seen in context. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My partner and I played with a couple not so long ago, she was clearly very taken with my guy and was all over him all evening. I wouldn't have minded at all if she hadn't continually made little digs at me about how men are always falling for her and how ours wasn't a real relationship. In the end I had to look her straight in the eye and shut her down. I don't really give a fuck, we're cuddly people and we're very chilled about stuff. But that to me was just rude and spiteful. If we'd been at my place I would probably have chucked them out. As it was I just lay there on their sofa vaping bud and thinking "silly bint" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as part of a cuckold couple affection is fine within the meet/meets but there is a line for me i cant stand clingy or needy men makes be want to get away from them asap |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thats a no deal from us! We haven't actually swopped yet but the reason we are looking to do that is to turn each other on not to feel like we are in a relationship with others.... good thread & interesting topic x |
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By *andy2123Couple
over a year ago
Portsmouth |
"Yep, have experienced when I was with the ex, and yes, it feels wrong. I’d much sooner be doing that with the guy I’m with.
I don’t mind laying in a heap after sex, where your all ‘coming down’. But once that’s done, shower and dressed for me "
We agree x |
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By *WillowxWoman
over a year ago
Oo err Devon |
This is an interesting thought and one as a person who is new to swinging .. it's a good thing to have discussed with my partner before we meet with anyone.
It's a hard line to define... I enjoy kissing and find that with the right connection with someone it's a really big turn on for me... However I almost feel like I may get jealous of seeing my partner kissing more so that seeing him in any other way with another person... I guess it's the way you kiss... Kissing out of lust.. all good... Love is a completely different thing... And that's something you don't go looking for when swinging.. so I guess I'm all good there...
I have to admit... The after affection would be the bit that I would want to keep in moderation.... I love that bliss feeling where you collapse in a heap of ecstasy after... That's all good.. and just laying there enjoying the moment.. all good... But once you are up and about... That's where it ends? I'd feel uncomfortable if someone then tried to hold my hand or follow me round... If be wanting to be with my partner at that point to relive all the naughtyness
Wow that was a long post... |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Its one of the things that made us realise we are more Poly then Fab as we are very touchy feely both during & after play.
When we did do club meets we always spoke about there being something missing (For us at least).
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"whats other couples opinion on affection with the couple you’ve swapped with?
It’s happened a few times now where the other couple try to show affection to one of us, I.e stroking, holding hands etc.
We understand it’s something others might enjoy, but it just feels so awkward for us. We can full swap, but it’s just sex to us, we don’t want anything else, but then it’s embarrassing to say anything to them in case it hurts their feelings.
Spot on. It's just sex to us, the other person is just an extension of our sex life. "
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"whats other couples opinion on affection with the couple you’ve swapped with?
It’s happened a few times now where the other couple try to show affection to one of us, I.e stroking, holding hands etc.
We understand it’s something others might enjoy, but it just feels so awkward for us. We can full swap, but it’s just sex to us, we don’t want anything else, but then it’s embarrassing to say anything to them in case it hurts their feelings."
ahhhh see to people who are affectionate and lets face it its a very intimate situation this is the natural culmination of sexual activity  |
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We tend to be a bit more relaxed about this.
Just because someone or everyone has cum does not mean the swinging experience is over.
For some it is the end and off they go.
For others we may go and chat socially.
But for some there maybe a round 2 or 3.
You have to judge each interaction on its merits and we would not hang around were we not wanted. Its similar to the signals you try to pick up when socialising before sex and recognition of whether the potential play mates are just being friendly or have an attraction.
Similarly post sex signals will indicate the peoples preferences.
There is also a difference between a kiss, a cuddle or holding hands and stroking someone. Or trying to exclude someones long term partner.
One is affection the other is a little bit stalker/preditorish.
I remember after one orgy we had giving a lady from another couple a foot rub as we all sat around talking post orgasm. She had sore feet so I offered, but it was not a signal that I was about to leave my wife and kids and break up everything we had built together since we were 18.
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