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Endless messaging and clandestine meetings
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"Do couples find the endless messages and clandestine meeting only to find totally unsuitable guys a pain."
Sorry, to hear that well, i have the reverse, lots of chatting with a couple - and then arranging to meet - and then going silent - its just fakes and people with too much time ion their hands |
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"Do couples find the endless messages and clandestine meeting only to find totally unsuitable guys a pain.
Sorry, to hear that well, i have the reverse, lots of chatting with a couple - and then arranging to meet - and then going silent - its just fakes and people with too much time ion their hands"
I like this 
People assume it's always the single guy at fault whereas it's not always the case |
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"Do couples find the endless messages and clandestine meeting only to find totally unsuitable guys a pain."
You could control the messages at an early stage if you say to the guys something like "we have a really busy life and unfortunately can't find time for endless messaging" |
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I hope I didn't imply it was the guys fault as that is not what we meant.
It must be just as frustrating for them to jump through all the hoops only to find that the couple don't want to go any further with them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do couples find the endless messages and clandestine meeting only to find totally unsuitable guys a pain.
Sorry, to hear that well, i have the reverse, lots of chatting with a couple - and then arranging to meet - and then going silent - its just fakes and people with too much time ion their hands"
This, had it just recently, chat, gave them two options to meet, then they simply cut us off. End of.
It's endemic on here  |
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It not the endless massaging, but the whole process.
We have been active for over a year. In that time we have met 20 guys and at the end of the year we have only 2 guys we can call friends.
There must be a better way |
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It seems to be more and more normal these days.. Chatted to a couple for a few weeks, passed all their mind tests, arranged to meet, drove 70 miles and then they didnt turn up, then completely off the radar..
Worst thing was I had exactly the same a month ago with yet another couple..
It is difficult for us single guys made worse, by people who get a kick out of winding us up.. I wonder how many "couples" are actually bored frustrated guys who cannot get their wives involved or are just single guys playing games. |
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"I hope I didn't imply it was the guys fault as that is not what we meant.
It must be just as frustrating for them to jump through all the hoops only to find that the couple don't want to go any further with them."
Totally understand what you are saying - it happens on both sides...a lot of people are just here to waste everyone else time - its shocking how mcuh time some people have on their hands |
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"It not the endless massaging, but the whole process.
We have been active for over a year. In that time we have met 20 guys and at the end of the year we have only 2 guys we can call friends.
There must be a better way"
I wish there were - but then when i used to do vanilla internet dating - it was the same. Endless chatting, and then when arranged to meet the lady for vanilla date- excuses galore ( the best was her dog had died/poorly and she hadn’t got over it..)
Its the downside of the whole “meeting people by internet” |
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We were thinking it would be nice to have somewhere to go where we know there are going to be like minded people.
We tried clubs but found them a little immediate for our taste and we didn't enjoy the idea of people having sex close. |
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Single guys do get a tough time on here.
We are think that it would be nice to have somewhere to go and meet like minded people.
Clubs are good but not everyone's cup of tea and for single guys expensive with very little chance of success |
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"We were thinking it would be nice to have somewhere to go where we know there are going to be like minded people.
We tried clubs but found them a little immediate for our taste and we didn't enjoy the idea of people having sex close. "
Ah - they can be intimidating.. i have never been to a “social” - but that might be an idea.
I think the reality is that - the whole process of finding suitable partners is time consuming. But i think its the issue of the whole internet dating thing. The internet makes it seeem that you are chatting to lots of people, and that are making progress - but until you meet someone - you can never tell
Vanilla internet dating was the same. I did that few years ago - met lots /lots of nice ladies but in the flesh - the chemistry wasn’t there - so feel it will be the same with fab fun |
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We have attended some social and although a little more natural. The only down side is they are normally held in pub where you have to be careful and who attends is very much in the hands of the organiser. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couples are double trouble, one may feel one way and well you know where im going with that....
For instance...i chat to lots of guys! Mr K can read everything and can shut it down quickly which i always feel bad for.
However i also think that it's tough, if i met with everyone i chat with i would seriously be shagging day and night!
So i hear you totally but i do think there are lots of dimensions to it x |
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That used to be an issue with us but once we started meeting guys we found that they have to go through so many couples to get a reply we can understand why reading every profile would be a pain.
As a couple, looking for single guys, we tend to reply but expect them to have read our profile before continuing the massaging |
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"That used to be an issue with us but once we started meeting guys we found that they have to go through so many couples to get a reply we can understand why reading every profile would be a pain.
As a couple, looking for single guys, we tend to reply but expect them to have read our profile before continuing the massaging "
What you say makes sense - think the reality is that its going to be a time consuming process for all parties couples/singles etc.. - there are people who are on fab who are time wasters, there are people who are happy to meet but no chemistry, there are peple who happy to meet and there is chemistry/but are after one off - so the its back to square one.
Like lots of people on fab - one has to just reset ones expectations lower.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That used to be an issue with us but once we started meeting guys we found that they have to go through so many couples to get a reply we can understand why reading every profile would be a pain.
As a couple, looking for single guys, we tend to reply but expect them to have read our profile before continuing the massaging
What you say makes sense - think the reality is that its going to be a time consuming process for all parties couples/singles etc.. - there are people who are on fab who are time wasters, there are people who are happy to meet but no chemistry, there are peple who happy to meet and there is chemistry/but are after one off - so the its back to square one.
Like lots of people on fab - one has to just reset ones expectations lower.."
Precisely. |
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"From your comment it emphasises that we need somewhere we can attend where we know there would be genuine people and not a bunch of time waster
"
Perhaps a social out of your area - in case you are worried that re meeting neighbours |
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"It seems to be more and more normal these days.. Chatted to a couple for a few weeks, passed all their mind tests, arranged to meet, drove 70 miles and then they didnt turn up, then completely off the radar..
Worst thing was I had exactly the same a month ago with yet another couple..
It is difficult for us single guys made worse, by people who get a kick out of winding us up.. I wonder how many "couples" are actually bored frustrated guys who cannot get their wives involved or are just single guys playing games. "
I cant believe this as we ALWAYs turn up and have had chatters with no intention of meeting as well as going to Glasgow and being sat in a bar only to be stood up ,then stupid excuses ,We now video chat too as most who time waste dont have the guts for that ,seems couple some of them are as bad such a shame as we are all on here for the same thing i thought |
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Yes lots of endless chat with both singles and couples. Most reveal nothing about themselves even weeks later and that rings alarm bells along with no talk of a meet date or they avoid setting one. Push for something concrete and they go quiet or block you. Then there's those who arrange to meet and give a suspicious excuse on the day, one did it twice ! "sorry I completely forgot". I'm noticing more and more who claim they can accomodate then when arranging to meet admit they can't accom !?. We need some kind of easy reporting/feedback system, just tickboxes would do !. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We found that there are lots of profiles who want to just chat endlessly (both single guys and couples), it's why we gave up looking on here and started going to clubs.
We've always felt that if after a few messages things are all looking good then it should be able to proceed to a social to see if there is any chemistry face to face but too many people want to have dozens of messages instead so we just ditch them as too many of them are time wasters or picture collectors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes lots of endless chat with both singles and couples. Most reveal nothing about themselves even weeks later and that rings alarm bells along with no talk of a meet date or they avoid setting one. Push for something concrete and they go quiet or block you. Then there's those who arrange to meet and give a suspicious excuse on the day, one did it twice ! "sorry I completely forgot". I'm noticing more and more who claim they can accomodate then when arranging to meet admit they can't accom !?. We need some kind of easy reporting/feedback system, just tickboxes would do !."
just had a message from a guy who random messages me year in year out and I said I only meet socially first and he said he was not into anyone knowing about him or his life ...so my alarm bells are ringing! |
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We even had a message on fab from a guy who gave a lame excuses at the time we had arranged to meet.
Obviously, he did remember that we were the couple he stood up.
We verify the good ones but can't report the time waster.
Still think we need somewhere to go below clubs where we can meet genuine like minded people |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’ve experienced it with couples before usually them wanting to know every detail about me and when I see it’s not going anywhere Mostly just endless chatting about nothing but then when I suggest a meet “we don’t meet straight away” oh I wonder how many more days of endless messages it takes lol
*not all couples just a few that I’ve spoke to on here
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"Couples are double trouble, one may feel one way and well you know where im going with that....
For instance...i chat to lots of guys! Mr K can read everything and can shut it down quickly which i always feel bad for.
However i also think that it's tough, if i met with everyone i chat with i would seriously be shagging day and night!
So i hear you totally but i do think there are lots of dimensions to it x"
Exactly the same here - I chat to lots of guys but our profile does say we only meet as a couple & only after a social and not meeting any single guys at present ( other than those we've already met) - so if people want to strike up a conversation with me that's fine but they shouldn't presume it's going elsewhere! |
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"Sorry, to hear that well, i have the reverse, lots of chatting with a couple - and then arranging to meet - and then going silent - its just fakes and people with too much time ion their hands"
Same here - and not just couples, either...
....a handful of prospective playmates I've been exchanging messages with over recent weeks have either gone silent now next week's actually approaching, or said something's come up...  |
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"It is difficult for us single guys made worse, by people who get a kick out of winding us up.. I wonder how many "couples" are actually bored frustrated guys who cannot get their wives involved or are just single guys playing games. "
Far too many - if I had a quid for every "want to watch you fuck my wife" type of message...  |
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