FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Getting hurt swinging
Getting hurt swinging
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I've come across a number of profiles stating 'no longer a couple' recently. And I've seen and heard of situations of jealous partners and even people getting upset/angry when someone they've met meets others. So, is the idea that everything will go well if there's communication and consent a myth or are people just doing things wrong? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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People are complicated, sex drives are powerful, what sounded like a good idea over a few beers ends up stirring up powerful feelings. And with fab, temptation and escapism is a click of the finger away. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think to be on fab as part of a couple you have to have a very strong relationship to start off with,communication is the key if there is something that one half doesnt like then they should say before it becomes an issue,..im on here as a couple and a single but my partner knows everything i do before it even happens and if he wasnt 100% happy with it then it wouldnt happen.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You've got to have a solid relationship to swing, or it wouldn't work. Fact.
Jealousy, strong emotions, all rise from miscommunication between a couple.
In my humble opinion, unless both parties are 100% honest and know (and respect) each others boundaries, there is nothing wrong with the lifestyle and can make a relationship more intimate.
xx Niki |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think there cant be any one reason..perhaps the sex alone isnt the issue. After all many non swinging relationships dont work.
I do think there is added risks if the couple arent already tightand strong that swinging could just make matters worse..but then others may find it brings them closer. I guess there are too many dynamics to say why .
Personally, at some point I would like to find someone who I can have fun with in every way..so nights in and out, weekends away, dancing, meals out..but also a swinging partner! But its not easy to find. |
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If both halves are on the same page and there is good communication then it works.
If the relationship is on dodgy ground already, or if there are trust or communication issues then swinging is probably a bad idea.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Both partners must be totally transparent with everything from fantasies to boundaries.
I was married and played on here behind her back, eventually the guilt took hold and I confessed all, we broke up for a short while and then got back together and we tried swinging as a life style but it didn,t work out because the trust had gone.
I now would only want a relationship now with another swinger that we are both on the same page and grow stronger together. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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From most of the answers, the same ideas seem to be key. But the fact that a lot of people start swinging experimentally and other such complexities make it seem to be a bit of a minefield for the naive or unsuspecting... |
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Might be outside factors that ment they are no longer couples ,we are a couple and both decided to be on here rather than play separate ,yes you need to be very open and honest or there is no point ,but its working for us and in "real" life has made us a stronger couple in all aspects ....  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seen one or two "No longer a couple" profiles but compared to the vanilla world it certainly doesn't appear to be as prevalent. "
Could that not be due to the percentage of people that swing compared to the vanilla world or those that remain after such a breakup and state it on their profiles... |
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"I've come across a number of profiles stating 'no longer a couple' recently. And I've seen and heard of situations of jealous partners and even people getting upset/angry when someone they've met meets others. So, is the idea that everything will go well if there's communication and consent a myth or are people just doing things wrong? "
We’ve always said if there’s the slightest crack in a relationship, this lifestyle will certainly find it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there cant be any one reason..perhaps the sex alone isnt the issue. After all many non swinging relationships dont work.
I do think there is added risks if the couple arent already tightand strong that swinging could just make matters worse..but then others may find it brings them closer. I guess there are too many dynamics to say why .
Personally, at some point I would like to find someone who I can have fun with in every way..so nights in and out, weekends away, dancing, meals out..but also a swinging partner! But its not easy to find."
It's that damn elusive chemistry. BTW you're phwoar and I tend to avoid bald men  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there cant be any one reason..perhaps the sex alone isnt the issue. After all many non swinging relationships dont work.
I do think there is added risks if the couple arent already tightand strong that swinging could just make matters worse..but then others may find it brings them closer. I guess there are too many dynamics to say why .
Personally, at some point I would like to find someone who I can have fun with in every way..so nights in and out, weekends away, dancing, meals out..but also a swinging partner! But its not easy to find.
It's that damn elusive chemistry. BTW you're phwoar and I tend to avoid bald men "
Hey i can grow hair... but thank you  |
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I've known quite a few who are "no longer a couple." But when they were, it was as a Swinging Couple, ie, friends with benefits who met together--not an in love couple.
Those in a relationship seem to either get out of this pretty quickly if it's not for them, or grow stronger.
Not always, of course, but that's what I've seen.
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I have learnt to separate the emotions from the sex, but as we are not robots, just occasionally, the no strings meet has a little twinge or extra for one or both parties.
The green eyed monster can make an unwanted appearance .. |
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"I think there cant be any one reason..perhaps the sex alone isnt the issue. After all many non swinging relationships dont work.
I do think there is added risks if the couple arent already tightand strong that swinging could just make matters worse..but then others may find it brings them closer. I guess there are too many dynamics to say why .
Personally, at some point I would like to find someone who I can have fun with in every way..so nights in and out, weekends away, dancing, meals out..but also a swinging partner! But its not easy to find."
Your not wrong about that......been looking for 10 years and have now given up  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think there cant be any one reason..perhaps the sex alone isnt the issue. After all many non swinging relationships dont work.
I do think there is added risks if the couple arent already tightand strong that swinging could just make matters worse..but then others may find it brings them closer. I guess there are too many dynamics to say why .
Personally, at some point I would like to find someone who I can have fun with in every way..so nights in and out, weekends away, dancing, meals out..but also a swinging partner! But its not easy to find.
Your not wrong about that......been looking for 10 years and have now given up "
I haven't been looking for as long as you... 7 years I guess. Even met someone from here and we were dating most of last year. I was content with an open relationship and knew about the couples and random women. I only found out this year I wasn't his only girlfriend when we started to rekindle what (I thought) we had.
I told him I expected and respected honesty, no matter how tough a pill to swallow. He couldn't manage it.
I don't understand liars! |
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"I think there cant be any one reason..perhaps the sex alone isnt the issue. After all many non swinging relationships dont work.
I do think there is added risks if the couple arent already tightand strong that swinging could just make matters worse..but then others may find it brings them closer. I guess there are too many dynamics to say why .
Personally, at some point I would like to find someone who I can have fun with in every way..so nights in and out, weekends away, dancing, meals out..but also a swinging partner! But its not easy to find.
Your not wrong about that......been looking for 10 years and have now given up
I haven't been looking for as long as you... 7 years I guess. Even met someone from here and we were dating most of last year. I was content with an open relationship and knew about the couples and random women. I only found out this year I wasn't his only girlfriend when we started to rekindle what (I thought) we had.
I told him I expected and respected honesty, no matter how tough a pill to swallow. He couldn't manage it.
I don't understand liars! "
I will never understand men and their minds lol...... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We met on here 10 years ago. It's not always been easy and we've had people, from here, try and come between us but are still together and stronger than ever. It can and does happen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Communication communication communication...
Its vital to making it work. Myself and MrD are only seeing each other a year and we are in the scene only a short while. We talk openly and honestly with each other about boundaries, what we are both comfortable with and what we would like to do together as a couple.
So far....so good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We play together and as singles, it has been said before...it doesn't work for everyone but we are 100% honest with each other if it doesn't feel right we say, we have had singles try and come between us, we do not play with couples under FWB.
Trust, communication is a huge factor, reconnection with each other is very important and have to say it has made us so much stronger. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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many people come into swinging with blindfolds on or use it to repair a relationship it rarely works ... most couples on here are in rock solid relationships where they share and talk about everything they are the ones who will succeed ... you must swing for the right reasons if your a couple |
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"I've come across a number of profiles stating 'no longer a couple' recently. And I've seen and heard of situations of jealous partners and even people getting upset/angry when someone they've met meets others. So, is the idea that everything will go well if there's communication and consent a myth or are people just doing things wrong? "
People get hurt every day in the real world - so it’s hardly surprising that they get hurt on here too?
Being a couple on fab brings a whole new set of challenges though - and I think the strongest couples seem to be (but by no means in every case) the ones who were together for ages before joining fab! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"People break up for all sorts of reasons. I was part of a couple on here for a long time, we broke up but swinging wasn’t the issue."
as this lady say too couples break up for all sorts of reason beyond swinging |
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"Think to be on fab as part of a couple you have to have a very strong relationship to start off with,communication is the key if there is something that one half doesnt like then they should say before it becomes an issue,..im on here as a couple and a single but my partner knows everything i do before it even happens and if he wasnt 100% happy with it then it wouldnt happen.."
You are totally on point. That's how it should be done. In our case, absolute honesty about our feelings is paramount. If and when I notice a female that is into me, the first thing I do is to bring it to my partner's attention. She has the final say, and vice versa.
Have a set rules and NEVER go outside of it without discussing it before hand. Don't be selfish and always put your partner's need above others.
Respect should be reciprocal. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've come across a number of profiles stating 'no longer a couple' recently. And I've seen and heard of situations of jealous partners and even people getting upset/angry when someone they've met meets others. So, is the idea that everything will go well if there's communication and consent a myth or are people just doing things wrong? "
the green eyed monster rears its ugly head more often than you'd like to think i know two couples who same room full swapped in a club and the two guys came to blows lol    |
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By *ady23Woman
over a year ago
Coventry |
As a couple we have a rule. M is a cuckold who loves to watch f play and join in. They have both agreed m will not play with anyone else. F likes to play with men when also being played with by another man. But strictky will not have m playing kissing or touching another person. Only her. M can get jealous but in a positive way and claims f back. There is trust. We have found some single guys may get possessive or jealous but we only play to enhance what we have together. It works for us none of us would do anything to disrespect the other and our upset each other |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
No hidden truths, 100% trust and completely open with each other is absolute paramount for couples with an in it together mentality, any cracks in those fundamentals and trouble will rear its head.
Be sure when you get in and check, check, and check again along the way, make sure you're both still on the same track as things change and if one isn't happy, STOP, before it's too late.
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"I think there cant be any one reason..perhaps the sex alone isnt the issue. After all many non swinging relationships dont work.
I do think there is added risks if the couple arent already tightand strong that swinging could just make matters worse..but then others may find it brings them closer. I guess there are too many dynamics to say why .
Personally, at some point I would like to find someone who I can have fun with in every way..so nights in and out, weekends away, dancing, meals out..but also a swinging partner! But its not easy to find.
It's that damn elusive chemistry. BTW you're phwoar and I tend to avoid bald men
Hey i can grow hair... but thank you "
I like bald men with shaved heads! But they usually live a bit nearer. |
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I think Unless a relationship is 100% open this site is a ticket to disaster for any couple if your not both as comitted to eachother as you think. The site offers An easy way to find out if your partmer is 100% genuine or is an unreliable attention seaker likely to cheat. it takes 2 unique people to be able to trust eachother on fabs I reckon !!
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