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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I’ve seen people absolutely villified on here for playing with ‘cheaters’. I’ve received horrid messages in the past about meets I’ve had where he turned out to be married. I *generally* try NOT to play with people who are meeting behind their partners backs. Occasionally I get caught out by liars, twice I’ve made informed decisions. Both were with experienced, very active swingers. Point is, why is it down to the genuinely single fabbers to police the morals of others? Shouldn’t the flack be focussed on the people who are playing away? |
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I can only speak for myself, but having seen the harm cheating does even when one partner isn't sure what's going on behind their back.... Having seen the hurt and pain, I have little time for people who enable cheating by playing with an attached person without their partner's knowledge.
Cheating isn't swinging and someone is always being hurt. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can only speak for myself, but having seen the harm cheating does even when one partner isn't sure what's going on behind their back.... Having seen the hurt and pain, I have little time for people who enable cheating by playing with an attached person without their partner's knowledge.
Cheating isn't swinging and someone is always being hurt. "
You precisely make my point. You criticise the ‘enabler’ but not the actual cheater. And frequently the ‘enabler’ is unknowing... |
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Sometimes a person will invite comment by their posts eg deliberately provoking people. I'm thinking of the "my wife/husband won't swing so I'm doing it behind his/her back" type thing.
In general though I don't think it's up to any of us to morally police other people on here.
Some of the messages we got when we defended prisoners rights in the forum were unreal  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I'm perfectly honest, I don't really care about the person's relationship status as it is up to them and their conscience. Also, when you meet someone in a club, how do you know they are not married/attached and playing behind their partner's back?
I actually have a lot of respect to all on here who are honest on their profiles and state they are married/attached. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I'm perfectly honest, I don't really care about the person's relationship status as it is up to them and their conscience. Also, when you meet someone in a club, how do you know they are not married/attached and playing behind their partner's back?
I actually have a lot of respect to all on here who are honest on their profiles and state they are married/attached. "
Here, here.  |
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Seems to me that being an 'enabler' makes very little difference.
If the person you're seeing is looking to cheat, then they'll do it with or without you.
Something to beware of though is that playing with someone who cheats doesn't mean they're not going to throw you under a bus at the first opportunity if they get a better offer... |
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"I’ve seen people absolutely villified on here for playing with ‘cheaters’. I’ve received horrid messages in the past about meets I’ve had where he turned out to be married. I *generally* try NOT to play with people who are meeting behind their partners backs. Occasionally I get caught out by liars, twice I’ve made informed decisions. Both were with experienced, very active swingers. Point is, why is it down to the genuinely single fabbers to police the morals of others? Shouldn’t the flack be focussed on the people who are playing away?"
Always remember....
Anyone who feels the need to go to the effort of typing out a message or status to someone else putting them down, or pointing out a floor ect is in a pretty bad place . Highly insecure and pissed off at the qirld for there failongs. Just like people who ignore messages or memtion how they will block people in there profiles. They need any little reason to make themselves feel bigger and better because, well...they juat arnt.
So just let out a little sigh and rest in the knowledge that u gave someone a minutes pleasure in there shitty existance |
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"Seems to me that being an 'enabler' makes very little difference.
If the person you're seeing is looking to cheat, then they'll do it with or without you.
Something to beware of though is that playing with someone who cheats doesn't mean they're not going to throw you under a bus at the first opportunity if they get a better offer..."
yeah an alcoholic will get the booze whether you enable them or not. If you do buy them the booze you shouldn't get prosecuted for d*unk driving though...or should you? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Seems to me that being an 'enabler' makes very little difference.
If the person you're seeing is looking to cheat, then they'll do it with or without you.
Something to beware of though is that playing with someone who cheats doesn't mean they're not going to throw you under a bus at the first opportunity if they get a better offer..."
I think that’s just fab tbh. We’re all here for pleasure and excitement and people bore of their new toys quickly..Just look at the number of threads commenting on how difficult it is to find a regular fb. |
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"I can only speak for myself, but having seen the harm cheating does even when one partner isn't sure what's going on behind their back.... Having seen the hurt and pain, I have little time for people who enable cheating by playing with an attached person without their partner's knowledge.
Cheating isn't swinging and someone is always being hurt.
You precisely make my point. You criticise the ‘enabler’ but not the actual cheater. And frequently the ‘enabler’ is unknowing..."
I'm more critical of the cheater but not without some criticism of the enabler.
Yes, i am aware that sometimes a person is unknowingly drawn into enabling someone to cheat and they are blameless. But a casual glance around fab shows plenty of people willing to knowingly "turn a blind eye".
As for the person saying that those who criticise non-ethical non-monogamy are all bitter and unhappy.... That could not be further from the truth. I practice ethical non-monogamy, everyone knows about everyone else, it's out in the open with no sneaking around, no furtive texting, no secrets. Very rewarding and liberating. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I can only speak for myself, but having seen the harm cheating does even when one partner isn't sure what's going on behind their back.... Having seen the hurt and pain, I have little time for people who enable cheating by playing with an attached person without their partner's knowledge.
Cheating isn't swinging and someone is always being hurt.
You precisely make my point. You criticise the ‘enabler’ but not the actual cheater. And frequently the ‘enabler’ is unknowing...
I'm more critical of the cheater but not without some criticism of the enabler.
Yes, i am aware that sometimes a person is unknowingly drawn into enabling someone to cheat and they are blameless. But a casual glance around fab shows plenty of people willing to knowingly "turn a blind eye".
As for the person saying that those who criticise non-ethical non-monogamy are all bitter and unhappy.... That could not be further from the truth. I practice ethical non-monogamy, everyone knows about everyone else, it's out in the open with no sneaking around, no furtive texting, no secrets. Very rewarding and liberating. "
And I’ve known at least one ‘ethical non-monogamist’ who...wasn’t.. there is a limit to the due diligence single people engaging with others for consensual no-strings sex can be expected to undertake.. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think it's a case really of people that live in glass houses should not throw stones."
Umm not really seeing how that’s relevant if I’m honest. The morality police come in all colours of relationship status. |
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