FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Regrets over sharing?
Regrets over sharing?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I see lots of threads about how turned on men get when sharing their wife/partner for the first time and how they never looked back but how about others that regretted it after fantasising about it for a long time? What happened to your relationship afterwards? Was there jealousy, mistrust etc? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wonder about this to ?
Just because I’ve never been part of a swinging couple.... I’ve only ever met men, and visited clubs as a single woman. I see the couples swinging together, and have talked to many over the years. One couple stood out as being genuinely one hundred per cent happy together and totally in love. I would love a relationship like that, but how common is it? |
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My present partner was really worried i think her as a slut and go off her. It was the reverse i wanted her more because i admired her for what she did. She had 3 guys at a club. We have a loving but lively relationship. All down to swinging |
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I think that if a man thinks of swinging in terms of sharing his partner it implies some sort of feeling of ownership. I know other people don't see it that way but it's my opinion. Once they've opened Pandora's box and it doesn't go quite the way they envisaged e.g. their partner seems to enjoy it more or differently or wants to do it more often or with different boundaries the insecurity and jealousy can creep in.
If a couple decide together and see it as encouraging each other to explore and enjoy within mutually agreed boundaries I think it's less likely to cause bad feelings on either side. If you're strong in your relationship you can treat what happens in swinging as a shared experience rather than as sharing just one of you with other people.
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"I wonder about this to ?
Just because I’ve never been part of a swinging couple.... I’ve only ever met men, and visited clubs as a single woman. I see the couples swinging together, and have talked to many over the years. One couple stood out as being genuinely one hundred per cent happy together and totally in love. I would love a relationship like that, but how common is it? "
We are a couple who like to share the fun....its made us even closer as a couples and we have been together since 18yr old .....to see your partner have fun is magical.....Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We started swinging after only 6 months together and there's been no regrets or jealousy at all. We set boundaries and rules to each other and always stick to them.
We also don't let it take over our relationship and lives. From my own perspective (male here) I absolutely love watching her with other people and I'm very lucky she lets me explore my bi side |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"I think that if a man thinks of swinging in terms of sharing his partner it implies some sort of feeling of ownership. I know other people don't see it that way but it's my opinion. Once they've opened Pandora's box and it doesn't go quite the way they envisaged e.g. their partner seems to enjoy it more or differently or wants to do it more often or with different boundaries the insecurity and jealousy can creep in.
If a couple decide together and see it as encouraging each other to explore and enjoy within mutually agreed boundaries I think it's less likely to cause bad feelings on either side. If you're strong in your relationship you can treat what happens in swinging as a shared experience rather than as sharing just one of you with other people.
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I think this is spot on. "Sharing" does imply ownership. The only thing that we "share" is each other's enjoyment at what we do. If we couldn't share that we wouldn't swing. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I "shared" a previous GF. She had reservations my view and feelings to her would change after she went with another guy. It was the exact opposite, I desired her more and had a stronger connection with her also. |
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As with most things on fab there can't be a one size fits all answer.
I'm guessing that it makes some relationships stronger while others will crumble because of it.
I knew one couple where the wife was shared and they absolutely loved it.
20 years on they don't swing or share in any way and just say that it was at a different stage of there life. |
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"
I "shared" a previous GF. She had reservations my view and feelings to her would change after she went with another guy. It was the exact opposite, I desired her more and had a stronger connection with her also."
Out of curiosity (I'm not going to get all  on you). What do you see as sharing a woman, what does it mean to you? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's easy to get bogged down with terminology isn't it. Is the word "sharing" really a problem? I could say I "let" my girlfriend fuck other men but that implies I own her and needs my permission to do what she wants. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I "shared" a previous GF. She had reservations my view and feelings to her would change after she went with another guy. It was the exact opposite, I desired her more and had a stronger connection with her also.
Out of curiosity (I'm not going to get all on you). What do you see as sharing a woman, what does it mean to you?"
For me it was sharing her sex with other men, getting as much out of her being fucked as she got from the pleasure of actually being fucked. I don't care much for the semantics over getting the words spot on! |
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"It's easy to get bogged down with terminology isn't it. Is the word "sharing" really a problem? I could say I "let" my girlfriend fuck other men but that implies I own her and needs my permission to do what she wants. "
Oh yes I agree but to me language and terminology are important. I don't think they should be to everybody though it's just how I am.
There are interesting discussions going on about how our mps use of language is influencing behaviour. I just find it interesting. |
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"
I "shared" a previous GF. She had reservations my view and feelings to her would change after she went with another guy. It was the exact opposite, I desired her more and had a stronger connection with her also.
Out of curiosity (I'm not going to get all on you). What do you see as sharing a woman, what does it mean to you?
For me it was sharing her sex with other men, getting as much out of her being fucked as she got from the pleasure of actually being fucked. I don't care much for the semantics over getting the words spot on!"
Thank you for explaining. I just as I said above, find it interesting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wonder about this to ?
Just because I’ve never been part of a swinging couple.... I’ve only ever met men, and visited clubs as a single woman. I see the couples swinging together, and have talked to many over the years. One couple stood out as being genuinely one hundred per cent happy together and totally in love. I would love a relationship like that, but how common is it? "
We love each other, swinging us just a shared fun experience for us, meeting friends and new people and then doing things sexual we can’t do as just a couple, spit roast, girl on girl etc. It’s that simple.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I cant speak as part of a swinging couple as my partner doesn't swing but since I started having sex with other guys our already great sex life has improved massively he loves hearing about the fun I've had |
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By *issyEMWoman
over a year ago
Nearly |
I am love hot wife scenario but so in love with my man that could live without that. He want see me with others but I am not all happy see him with other woman's. Still got insecurity in me as relationship is fresh |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's easy to get bogged down with terminology isn't it. Is the word "sharing" really a problem? I could say I "let" my girlfriend fuck other men but that implies I own her and needs my permission to do what she wants.
Oh yes I agree but to me language and terminology are important. I don't think they should be to everybody though it's just how I am.
There are interesting discussions going on about how our mps use of language is influencing behaviour. I just find it interesting."
So do you disagree with saying sharing? |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We were together 11 years before we decided to try swinging. We talked about it for around 2 years!! We decided to take the plunge last new years eve!
We had a great time and it's not had a negative impact on our relationship. We enjoy it and have fun, not every time we go to a club or party is about sex sometimes it's nice just to be in an environment where you can talk about sex, etc freely.
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"It's easy to get bogged down with terminology isn't it. Is the word "sharing" really a problem? I could say I "let" my girlfriend fuck other men but that implies I own her and needs my permission to do what she wants.
Oh yes I agree but to me language and terminology are important. I don't think they should be to everybody though it's just how I am.
There are interesting discussions going on about how our mps use of language is influencing behaviour. I just find it interesting.
So do you disagree with saying sharing?"
No, I don't like what it implies "to me". I'm happy for people to describe what they do however they want but being shared is not something I'm personally comfortable with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's easy to get bogged down with terminology isn't it. Is the word "sharing" really a problem? I could say I "let" my girlfriend fuck other men but that implies I own her and needs my permission to do what she wants.
Oh yes I agree but to me language and terminology are important. I don't think they should be to everybody though it's just how I am.
There are interesting discussions going on about how our mps use of language is influencing behaviour. I just find it interesting.
So do you disagree with saying sharing?
No, I don't like what it implies "to me". I'm happy for people to describe what they do however they want but being shared is not something I'm personally comfortable with."
That's fair enough each to their own |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I never view it as I am sharing her and that is my gift to give, implying in some way I'm owning part of her. More sharing our sex fun with another, involving them in the sharing of the pleasure. |
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I still get turned as if the first time of sharing Lola. I admit it was me that suggested it and we spoke about it for a while. Still fancy her like crazy after i seen her with another guy or guys. As she always goes home with me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think if you had regrets over sharing you would be unlikely to still be on the site, so realistically you will never get a truly balanced answer to your question on here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We talked about it for so long before actually trying anything and, we check how we are both feeling before and after each meet. We would die if swinging affected our relationship badly in any way. It honestly has turned us on so much and we're closer knowing we have and will continue to share and experience our fantasies. We've both seen each other fuck another and that to us is the ultimate test. Hopefully loads of couples have similar experiences. Mrs x |
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"We were together 11 years before we decided to try swinging. We talked about it for around 2 years!! We decided to take the plunge last new years eve!
We had a great time and it's not had a negative impact on our relationship. We enjoy it and have fun, not every time we go to a club or party is about sex sometimes it's nice just to be in an environment where you can talk about sex, etc freely.
"
This is exactly where we are, been together 11 years, the last 2 have been us talking about it, she has always said she wants to go with another woman, but the more we talk, she admitting she has fantasised about 2 men on her, tbh, I aways knew she had, but was worried about me thinking she was a "slut" ha. Thing is, I love her and she loves me, we both love sex and try to get as naughty as possible, and we both think that the "swinging world" would be great, as all in the same boat. The only thing that scares us both, is that "dirty guilty" feeling after you cum, does that kick in when you "swing"? How would we deal with that is the worry! |
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By *rHotNottsMan
over a year ago
Dubai & Nottingham |
"The swinging couples ive met so far, Seem to all have very strong relationships & have been together for decades.
We've met one of two like that. We've been together over 39 years."
26 years. Wouldn’t do it unless we loved it , met a few with jealousy issues and just try to filter/avoid. Separate room and kissing are good signs |
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No regrets, never an argument or cross word.
Cheating behind each other’s back and being deceitful and lying would be another story altogether tho....
Doing this together has made us stronger as a couple without a doubt  |
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It didn't work for us (me) so we don't swing together but we're free to see other people.
My problem was before we have sex I have to have a forensic wash, yet in a club Ben would go down on any woman without a second thought.
To see that annoyed the fuck out of me! |
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Many years ago me and the gf at the time lived out a fantasy, after the event I was physically sick, if it had remained in the past for us both things would have been ok but to make it worse she started seeing him behind my back.
Needless to say we split shortly after.
I've been in group scenarios since with no probs, may be it was the love, the whole thing bought me to one of the lowest points of my life. |
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