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Friend With Benefits: To Bareback or Not To Bareback? That is The Question
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Here’s the question that I have asked in my latest Twitter poll
Got or want a Friend With Benefits. If so do you or would you play bareback with that person?
a) No, as a swinger it’s a logistical nightmare.
b) Yes its one of the perks of having a special friend.
c) No because it risks creating an emotional bond and that ruins things.
d) Makes no difference to me, I always play bareback.
What would your answer be?
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
.. |
No because it’s not safe. As a swinger presumably you’re hoping to meet others. Is it fair to risk their sexual health? Maybe you’re planning on telling them?
It’s a no from me I wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t knowingly meet anyone that was either. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Kind of a mix of b and c.
So if I'm exclusive with a regular partner then absolutely it's bare play (post testing).
If I'm with a regular partner and we meet others but I can trust they are safe with them then again bare is considered.
I personally do think going bare creates a special bond for me so I do think that it's not necessarily a good thing |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No because it’s not safe. As a swinger presumably you’re hoping to meet others. Is it fair to risk their sexual health? Maybe you’re planning on telling them?
It’s a no from me I wouldn’t do it and I wouldn’t knowingly meet anyone that was either. "
I’m with Babs, safe sex always even if it is long term partner, risks are far too high |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
Surely it depends on your definition of friends with benefits. I've known too many people say that and actually what they mean is 'regular hook up with someone I only spend time with for sex'
Your inclusion of talking about it possibly leading to an emotional bond would make me assume you mean hook up as opposed to what I view as friends with benefits. Which is someone who is very much a friend, with who there is an emotional attachment, someone I spend time with that doesn't involve just bumping uglies.
That kind of friendship would then possibly lead to a fluid bonded relationship. Provided tests were clean. Ground rules were set and any other fluid bonded partners were in agreement. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "
Thank you for sharing the reality of Fab Chaos!
Your experience only approves what everybody subconsciously feels and thinks about health and life.
I personally already know (primarily without any bad personal experience) what people are capable of and almost all of them not being responsible to anybody even to their everyday partners, they have put meaningless pleasure above other persons health and life, simply they do not think, horrible. Also their disrespect is horrendous.
Thanks for sharing. Hope you are well now but mentally it just sickening me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Here’s the question that I have asked in my latest Twitter poll
Got or want a Friend With Benefits. If so do you or would you play bareback with that person?
a) No, as a swinger it’s a logistical nightmare.
b) Yes its one of the perks of having a special friend.
c) No because it risks creating an emotional bond and that ruins things.
d) Makes no difference to me, I always play bareback.
What would your answer be?
"
e) How the fuck do I snag an FWB in the first place?  |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "
Chlamydia can lay dormant in your system for up to 8 years during which time it won’t show up on a test apparently. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We must be thankful  that people open up and share such experience. The more the better.
Also about all lying experiences as well and how to filter them.
I imagine how many people consciously hide this information just for one reason, to get sex.
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"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "
that must have been terrible, for you, after all you must have been very close to the other guy to have unprotected sex, and after it all came out and you stopped seeing him, like you said it was not yours or his fault yet you have both missed out on a good sex life, and that was down to his partner, shame he did not get rid of her and got cleaned up and carried on, |
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"I had a long term lover and we had a huge emotional attachment. After a year we decided (with my husband's approval) to go bare. During a routine check it was found I had chlamydia. I was devastated and incredibly angry. It turned out that my lovers other half had been having unprotected sex with her FWB when she'd been telling my lover that she'd been using condoms. So it wasn't his fault and it wasn't my fault but understandably my husband insisted on the end of that relationship. Even in a long term relationship, that experience has put me off considering going bare again. They'd have to be totally exclusive to me (which is unlikely) and the level of trust and emotion would have to be significant. "
And this is why we swerve anyone who even hints that they might consider playing bare, the risks are too great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Someone asked me this question just this week and I said no because I know that I wouldn’t BB with anyone else but I don’t know about him and I am not about to have sleepless nights worrying if he is protecting himself with other people. The best way is either stop meeting if he wants someone to BB with or we continue to use protection. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No BB for me except with my hubby. Was with my ex swinging partner for 2+ years and we still used condoms. I trusted him completely, zero risk of pregnancy.
So for reason C I still played safe. He had his reasons too which may have been different.
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"Surely it depends on your definition of friends with benefits. I've known too many people say that and actually what they mean is 'regular hook up with someone I only spend time with for sex'
Your inclusion of talking about it possibly leading to an emotional bond would make me assume you mean hook up as opposed to what I view as friends with benefits. Which is someone who is very much a friend, with who there is an emotional attachment, someone I spend time with that doesn't involve just bumping uglies.
That kind of friendship would then possibly lead to a fluid bonded relationship. Provided tests were clean. Ground rules were set and any other fluid bonded partners were in agreement. "
My approach historically and that of my FWB has been to keep an open mind to the possibility of things developing into an actual relationship.
Over the years the three times I went bareback with my trusted FWB of the time a relationship did develop. So I was wondering what other peoples experiences may have been. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Even during a long term 'exclusive' FB relationship, it was always safe sex for me
No matter how well you know someone you can never be 100% that they haven't played with someone else and not mentioned it to you... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Even during a long term 'exclusive' FB relationship, it was always safe sex for me
No matter how well you know someone you can never be 100% that they haven't played with someone else and not mentioned it to you..."
'FB' relationship. If that's what it was how come you were exclusive? That's unusual isn't it? |
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What people say they do on Fab and what they actually do are very different. Loads of people play bb on here,you only have to look at the pics/videos for evidence of this.
I have a fuck buddy of nearly two years. He would love to fuck without a condom but the one time we did I immediately regretted it as I dont trust him to be responsible about playing safe with others. |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
Does bareback actually increase the emotional bond though?
I think there has to be more than physical attraction and bareback for an emotional bond to occur, but I always play safe with fab meets.
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"Kind of a mix of b and c.
So if I'm exclusive with a regular partner then absolutely it's bare play (post testing).
If I'm with a regular partner and we meet others but I can trust they are safe with them then again bare is considered.
I personally do think going bare creates a special bond for me so I do think that it's not necessarily a good thing "
In a nutshell ^^ |
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