FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > The Perfect Friend With Benefits or FB - The Woman's Perspective
The Perfect Friend With Benefits or FB - The Woman's Perspective
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I’m forever doing polls on twitter but for this question I’m not sure I’m able to properly condense the multiple choice answers. So here’s my question for the single ladies on here.
I’m not asking about looks but in terms of the relationship dynamic, particularly with regard to freedom of choice and flexibility what kind of guy would represent the perfect Friend With Benefits or Fuck Buddy for you?
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I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex...."
This sounds perfect to me  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m forever doing polls on twitter but for this question I’m not sure I’m able to properly condense the multiple choice answers. So here’s my question for the single ladies on here.
I’m not asking about looks but in terms of the relationship dynamic, particularly with regard to freedom of choice and flexibility what kind of guy would represent the perfect Friend With Benefits or Fuck Buddy for you?
"
Someone u can have a laugh with aswell as gud quality sex, respects ur space and life, is there for chats and support, doesnt treat u like a booty call. Think it all comes down 2 mutual respect and honesty. Had a few of these types of arrangements but ultimately people do catch feelings and it has 2 end. Ive also had the situation where there has been confusion, very hard 2 draw a hard line bet fwb/real relationship sometimes   |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What puts me off a full on relationship is all the drama, commitments and domestic monotony that comes with it.
A perfect FWB for me would be a friend that I have sex with.
We dont live together or have obligations to each others families.
We have separate lives but come together for the fun stuff like nights out and holidays.
I never want to do anyones laundry ever again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What puts me off a full on relationship is all the drama, commitments and domestic monotony that comes with it.
A perfect FWB for me would be a friend that I have sex with.
We dont live together or have obligations to each others families.
We have separate lives but come together for the fun stuff like nights out and holidays.
I never want to do anyones laundry ever again "
Perfect!!!  |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"A friend. Someone I like to talk to and spend time with, we support each other. We have sex, it's great. But, a friend. "
Yes. The best ones are for me are where there's a genuine interest and care in me as a person and not just me as a vagina. We can have open and honest conversation about things, it doesn't lessen how hot the sex is. I also like doing not sex related stuff with mine. Things I do with a friend; like going to the gig or out for a meal. Where there's a strong mutual appreciation. |
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex...."
I want this too ... can’t find it though  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex...."
I'm married to this, except we see each other every day and occasionally we have hot rampant sex with others ....  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex....
I'm married to this, except we see each other every day and occasionally we have hot rampant sex with others .... "
I would give anything for this !! |
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A guy who will always have your back, who ain't trying to fuck every female in the club. He'd enjoy the club scene and be a socialite. He'd have hunger for me so I can tease and tantalise him through the social evening, then ride him all night long when the party has finished. |
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"Someone who develops a degree of fondness and cares about me a little bit. Someone who I can chat to and have a giggle with. Someone who is at least an 8 in the bedroom. "
If you know where this guy is can you tell me please as I'd really like t OK meet him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex...."
That's what I have with my FB, though we chat several times a day too and see each other a couple of times a week. It all has to fit round her family life though - easy for me as I've got no such commitments. |
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex....
I'm married to this, except we see each other every day and occasionally we have hot rampant sex with others ....
I would give anything for this !! "
I would give my world for this |
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex....
That's what I have with my FB, though we chat several times a day too and see each other a couple of times a week. It all has to fit round her family life though - easy for me as I've got no such commitments."
This is harder to find than a white man in dudley...... I would love to have a local regular playmate and club buddy |
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I think it’s vital that you communicate well in this type of situation - especially on a swinging site!
I’ve just been dumped by a lovely guy who, it turns out, only wanted an fwb scenario and had no intention of becoming part of my family! Just wish I’d known this from the start!
I think in future I’ll stick to using fab for casual sex. Can’t get hurt here that way! |
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"A friend. Someone I like to talk to and spend time with, we support each other. We have sex, it's great. But, a friend.
Yes. The best ones are for me are where there's a genuine interest and care in me as a person and not just me as a vagina. We can have open and honest conversation about things, it doesn't lessen how hot the sex is. I also like doing not sex related stuff with mine. Things I do with a friend; like going to the gig or out for a meal. Where there's a strong mutual appreciation."
Why is it so hard to find though? |
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"I think it’s vital that you communicate well in this type of situation - especially on a swinging site!
I’ve just been dumped by a lovely guy who, it turns out, only wanted an fwb scenario and had no intention of becoming part of my family! Just wish I’d known this from the start!
I think in future I’ll stick to using fab for casual sex. Can’t get hurt here that way! "
Hunni I know exactly what you mean in this.... I too have had what I thought was a best mate, regular playmate who did the same to me but after waiting for him for 12 months. I don't think you'll find decent genuine guys on this scene..... Too many see I t as a fucking site and not as a social scene that's open sexually. If there's a genuine, respectfull guy out there that knows the meaning of being a club buddy and regular playmate, then please drop me a message...... ASAP PLS |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"I think it’s vital that you communicate well in this type of situation - especially on a swinging site!
I’ve just been dumped by a lovely guy who, it turns out, only wanted an fwb scenario and had no intention of becoming part of my family! Just wish I’d known this from the start!
I think in future I’ll stick to using fab for casual sex. Can’t get hurt here that way! "
Sorry to hear this.
I agree, it's very important to discuss what you both want earlyish. More so if you meet someone you're actually attracted to on here. |
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"I have a best friend with benefits. I see him once a week he picks me up from work we go shopping, watch, movies, cook together, laugh, joke, banter, text daily and then we have hit rampant sex...."
I have similar to this  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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as a happy married woman i just want sexual non clingy none drama fun lots of sex with a fb or 2 or 3 or 4 ... non exclusive where we all get something out of it including hubs tho he dont play its sexual relationships without drama that please's everyone |
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"A friend. Someone I like to talk to and spend time with, we support each other. We have sex, it's great. But, a friend.
Yes. The best ones are for me are where there's a genuine interest and care in me as a person and not just me as a vagina. We can have open and honest conversation about things, it doesn't lessen how hot the sex is. I also like doing not sex related stuff with mine. Things I do with a friend; like going to the gig or out for a meal. Where there's a strong mutual appreciation.
Why is it so hard to find though? "
I have been seeing a fwb for 18 months, we text daily, get together most weeks for amazing sex. Discuss everything openly, are caring friends to each other and share days out as well as bedroom fun. We’re not exclusive to each other but are open about any other partners and share each other’s stories and enjoyment  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I got attached, and that was my downfall I think. Turns out the other party (despite her protestations) wasn't as attached I was led to believe.
Lesson learned! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A friend. Someone I like to talk to and spend time with, we support each other. We have sex, it's great. But, a friend.
Yes. The best ones are for me are where there's a genuine interest and care in me as a person and not just me as a vagina. We can have open and honest conversation about things, it doesn't lessen how hot the sex is. I also like doing not sex related stuff with mine. Things I do with a friend; like going to the gig or out for a meal. Where there's a strong mutual appreciation.
Why is it so hard to find though?
I have been seeing a fwb for 18 months, we text daily, get together most weeks for amazing sex. Discuss everything openly, are caring friends to each other and share days out as well as bedroom fun. We’re not exclusive to each other but are open about any other partners and share each other’s stories and enjoyment "
That is exactly what I had, except the open discussion rule only seemed to work one way lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A fun exciting sexyfriend who meets when we want and gets on with life in between. Someone to chill with then fuck my brains out. Oh, and lives in Essex xx |
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"What puts me off a full on relationship is all the drama, commitments and domestic monotony that comes with it.
A perfect FWB for me would be a friend that I have sex with.
We dont live together or have obligations to each others families.
We have separate lives but come together for the fun stuff like nights out and holidays.
I never want to do anyones laundry ever again "
sums me up too. My last relationship died on its ass once it moved out of FWB territory and into the 'serious' domestic world.  |
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"A friend. Someone I like to talk to and spend time with, we support each other. We have sex, it's great. But, a friend. "
This this is what being friends with benefits means to me. It's nothing to do with expectations or monogamy (who restricts themselves to only having one friend?), it just happens that you have a sexual component to your friendship.
The fuck buddy thing doesn't have the same appeal to me... To me a fuck buddy is someone you've a sexual attraction to and booty call when you feel horny, but have no interest in being friends. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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FB and FWB are two different things for me... A FB is someone that I would have a physical attraction /chemistry with and great sex, but no desire to engage in anything other than sex with. For example, no interest to want to get to know on any other level.
A FWB would entail the same connection as a buddy, but with the added element of a friendship, chat, ability to go for a drink, watch a film maybe, but still walk away and both be able to enjoy other things.
Lucky enough to have both here in the fab world |
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Agree FB and FwB are different. I look for FwB. Someone I enjoy spending time with, in and out of bed. Fun, genuine person who respects the rest of my life and all its complications. Someone who isn’t looking for a romantic element but wants to have that human connection of friendship. Someone to enjoy the club scene with and share with others, who will eye up and pull people we will both like!! They need to have enough differences to be interesting and push my boundaries, but enough similarities for us to be compatible.
So im not asking for much then!! |
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"Agree FB and FwB are different. I look for FwB. Someone I enjoy spending time with, in and out of bed. Fun, genuine person who respects the rest of my life and all its complications. Someone who isn’t looking for a romantic element but wants to have that human connection of friendship. Someone to enjoy the club scene with and share with others, who will eye up and pull people we will both like!! They need to have enough differences to be interesting and push my boundaries, but enough similarities for us to be compatible.
So im not asking for much then!! "
I'm looking for the same but needles and haystacks come to mind...
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Agree FB and FwB are different. I look for FwB. Someone I enjoy spending time with, in and out of bed. Fun, genuine person who respects the rest of my life and all its complications. Someone who isn’t looking for a romantic element but wants to have that human connection of friendship. Someone to enjoy the club scene with and share with others, who will eye up and pull people we will both like!! They need to have enough differences to be interesting and push my boundaries, but enough similarities for us to be compatible.
So im not asking for much then!! "
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think should be fun and laid back. This site is to escape real life and just enjoy the simple pleasures of being naughty . Well it is for me anyways . Like to think of 2 people meeting up as friends, having a laugh and some naughty fun, then leaving as friends at the end. No pressure to meet up again if neither wants to but repeat meets always a bonus . That’s my view anyways lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly, yes it's the male half posting, but I do have the ability to listen, understand and empathise with women which I've been fascinated by for almost my whole life? Not least my amazing OH...
Women want; Someone who is attractive to the lady in question (which varies) and whilst the rest is varying from lady to lady more elements will stand than not;
Someone who is confident in themselves but humble enough not to be arrogant.
Someone who has the willingness to form a mental connection needed both for friendship and sizzling sex (and also the intellect and imagination required to do so)
Someone who whilst not clingy appreciates the fun of regular contact both mental and physical.
Someone who looks after themselves without being obsessed with doing so.
Someone who is deemed attractive and approachable by their peers and comes across well in social situations, but is loyal enough to put said lady first at all times.
Someone who appreciates that said lady is her own person and fully capable of speaking up for herself (no white knights!) yet if she is in an environment that she finds uncomfortable, will recognise signs of this and speak up for and defend her when need be from her.
Someone who gets her sense of humour as it is close to his own.
Someone who shares most of her sexual tastes and is capable of sharing the spark that comes with their being "naughty" without being "outlandish" to both of them.
Someone who is independent and seeks nothing from her except good company and shared fun!
Each thing simple enough by itself, but possessing ALL of them is somewhat rarer, especially when most contact to them comes from those that DON'T match the criteria!
Also chaps that somehow have all these qualities tend to be in high demand and get snapped up, either in a relationship or simply in the case of their free time all being accounted for!
B |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
"Think should be fun and laid back. This site is to escape real life and just enjoy the simple pleasures of being naughty . Well it is for me anyways . Like to think of 2 people meeting up as friends, having a laugh and some naughty fun, then leaving as friends at the end. No pressure to meet up again if neither wants to but repeat meets always a bonus . That’s my view anyways lol "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fuck B, that's a long list. Poor buggers having to match all that. "
Yep, afraid so Meli
Women usually want the whole package?
A fair few men will consider a lady playmate material if she ticks a few of their boxes, whereas most women will want the vast majority of their boxes ticked, an absence or two being forgivable in certain circumstances?
Poor men for having to satisfy that lot, but also poor women as due to that long list of requirements they frequently have to go unsatisfied without compromising? Which tbf they shouldn't have to do as it's their standards, but the shortage of men fitting them all who haven't been snapped up or had all their free time in the next month or two booked solid by women who have found them already frequently will lead to frustration for a fair few women?
B |
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"Firstly, yes it's the male half posting, but I do have the ability to listen, understand and empathise with women which I've been fascinated by for almost my whole life? Not least my amazing OH...
Women want; Someone who is attractive to the lady in question (which varies) and whilst the rest is varying from lady to lady more elements will stand than not;
Someone who is confident in themselves but humble enough not to be arrogant.
Someone who has the willingness to form a mental connection needed both for friendship and sizzling sex (and also the intellect and imagination required to do so)
Someone who whilst not clingy appreciates the fun of regular contact both mental and physical.
Someone who looks after themselves without being obsessed with doing so.
Someone who is deemed attractive and approachable by their peers and comes across well in social situations, but is loyal enough to put said lady first at all times.
Someone who appreciates that said lady is her own person and fully capable of speaking up for herself (no white knights!) yet if she is in an environment that she finds uncomfortable, will recognise signs of this and speak up for and defend her when need be from her.
Someone who gets her sense of humour as it is close to his own.
Someone who shares most of her sexual tastes and is capable of sharing the spark that comes with their being "naughty" without being "outlandish" to both of them.
Someone who is independent and seeks nothing from her except good company and shared fun!
Each thing simple enough by itself, but possessing ALL of them is somewhat rarer, especially when most contact to them comes from those that DON'T match the criteria!
Also chaps that somehow have all these qualities tend to be in high demand and get snapped up, either in a relationship or simply in the case of their free time all being accounted for!
B"
Well said .... exactly  |
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"Fuck B, that's a long list. Poor buggers having to match all that.
Yep, afraid so Meli
Women usually want the whole package?
A fair few men will consider a lady playmate material if she ticks a few of their boxes, whereas most women will want the vast majority of their boxes ticked, an absence or two being forgivable in certain circumstances?
Poor men for having to satisfy that lot, but also poor women as due to that long list of requirements they frequently have to go unsatisfied without compromising? Which tbf they shouldn't have to do as it's their standards, but the shortage of men fitting them all who haven't been snapped up or had all their free time in the next month or two booked solid by women who have found them already frequently will lead to frustration for a fair few women?
B"
I'd rather go unsatisfied, than compromise
Luckily, I got my boxes ticked though |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I've had nothing but proper non fab longterm fwb for decades and the criteria is no different to any friendship hahahahahahahaha because it's the F friend in the equation that says it all for me. A fab fwb I've always called bwf or benefits with friend and prefer that to a FB  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think it’s vital that you communicate well in this type of situation - especially on a swinging site!
I’ve just been dumped by a lovely guy who, it turns out, only wanted an fwb scenario and had no intention of becoming part of my family! Just wish I’d known this from the start!
I think in future I’ll stick to using fab for casual sex. Can’t get hurt here that way! "
My heart goes out to you peachy, its total dog shit!
I think some guys dont want to be open just incase the female wants different things, they usually know she wants different things too, so keep quiet hoping that the topic doesnt come up, so it's all just selfishness on their part.
Once it does come up they know its game over. Xxx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I’m forever doing polls on twitter but for this question I’m not sure I’m able to properly condense the multiple choice answers. So here’s my question for the single ladies on here.
I’m not asking about looks but in terms of the relationship dynamic, particularly with regard to freedom of choice and flexibility what kind of guy would represent the perfect Friend With Benefits or Fuck Buddy for you?
"
Exactly what it says on the tin.
Broken down into the words
"friends with benefits"
Friend part - someone who you can go out and have a laugh with, or just lull about watch movies with
Benefits part - someone who can tick all your sexual desires without emotion and leave you a quivering wreck |
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So glad that I decided to ask the question here and not do a trimmed down twitter poll in this instance.
Speaking personally I too would opt for FWB over a FB. Its good when you get to spend quality time with people too. Its even better when you both genuinely feel free to share stories about adventures you may be having with other people and to give each other unbiased advice.
To me that is one of the best ways of knowing you are genuinely friends with benefits and that neither one of you secretly has another agenda. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So glad that I decided to ask the question here and not do a trimmed down twitter poll in this instance.
Speaking personally I too would opt for FWB over a FB. Its good when you get to spend quality time with people too. Its even better when you both genuinely feel free to share stories about adventures you may be having with other people and to give each other unbiased advice.
To me that is one of the best ways of knowing you are genuinely friends with benefits and that neither one of you secretly has another agenda."
Are you going to go out and do "stuff" together too? Like cinema, dinners, walks etc? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A guy with the best sexual chemistry. Together for a few laughs and relaxation.
NO conversation about mundane, day to day life, work, family etc. Just a total switch off from reality.
I'm lucky to have this.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think should be fun and laid back. This site is to escape real life and just enjoy the simple pleasures of being naughty . Well it is for me anyways . Like to think of 2 people meeting up as friends, having a laugh and some naughty fun, then leaving as friends at the end. No pressure to meet up again if neither wants to but repeat meets always a bonus . That’s my view anyways lol "
Agreed x (fem) |
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Someone who gives zero pressure, expects nothing serious, friendly, happy with just socials as well as sex, sense of humour, a friend but not wanting a relationship, understanding.
Like what I have. |
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"So glad that I decided to ask the question here and not do a trimmed down twitter poll in this instance.
Speaking personally I too would opt for FWB over a FB. Its good when you get to spend quality time with people too. Its even better when you both genuinely feel free to share stories about adventures you may be having with other people and to give each other unbiased advice.
To me that is one of the best ways of knowing you are genuinely friends with benefits and that neither one of you secretly has another agenda.
Are you going to go out and do "stuff" together too? Like cinema, dinners, walks etc? "
With the right FWB most certainly yes |
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No emotional attachment but a connection as friends.
We can meet when convenient for us both and no hard feelings if one of us is busy.
We can have a laugh go out to parties together and have great sex when we want to. All is good. |
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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
"No emotional attachment but a connection as friends.
We can meet when convenient for us both and no hard feelings if one of us is busy.
We can have a laugh go out to parties together and have great sex when we want to. All is good. "
my kind of women , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Think should be fun and laid back. This site is to escape real life and just enjoy the simple pleasures of being naughty . Well it is for me anyways . Like to think of 2 people meeting up as friends, having a laugh and some naughty fun, then leaving as friends at the end. No pressure to meet up again if neither wants to but repeat meets always a bonus . That’s my view anyways lol
Agreed x (fem) "
Glad you agree  |
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