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Taking a break to reconnect with ourselves
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I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it? "
I haven’t used this as a reason to not meet someone on here, but when my other half and I had a couples profile we did actually do something similar to this, as did friends of ours. It does happen ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some couples and singles are simply too polite and feel awkward handing out a direct rejection. The key is the point gets across and that's the end of that. |
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It can be very true. We joined the scene and spent 2 years like kids in the candy shop. Took a break for a year for us and now much more chilled and balanced. That said it could always be a bullshit excuse but why worry, move on to someone/s happier to chat and play |
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"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would."
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club?  |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club? "
Maybe they are taking a break from private meets. Everyone is allowed to choose how and when they meet on here. |
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"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club? "
Personally no |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it? "
I don't use this as an excuse to avoid a meet if I've planned one, but I do regularly need to take breaks away and I do tell people that I'm not meeting for that reason. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club? "
Yeah,that was clearly a cop out, then |
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"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club?
Yeah,that was clearly a cop out, then"
Don’t carry any feelings. Move on to the next one! I didn’t think there was any obligation to accept meet invites from people you don’t fancy.
Get over the bruised ego and have fun elsewhere!   |
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it? "
If you want more honesty rather than a polite let down would you have preferred for then to say they find you unattractive and have had better offers? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
If you want more honesty rather than a polite let down would you have preferred for then to say they find you unattractive and have had better offers? "
Because those are the only two options.. 
How about something just slightly less wanky and self-regarding like ‘I’m sorry I need to spend an evening bettering myself with modern American poetry and Gershwin turned up to eleven..’ |
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
If you want more honesty rather than a polite let down would you have preferred for then to say they find you unattractive and have had better offers?
Because those are the only two options..
How about something just slightly less wanky and self-regarding like ‘I’m sorry I need to spend an evening bettering myself with modern American poetry and Gershwin turned up to eleven..’"
I just think its just a little pathetic on people moaning about how they are let down. No means no how ever its said lets be honest its not how its said people get the hump at being rejected. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
If you want more honesty rather than a polite let down would you have preferred for then to say they find you unattractive and have had better offers?
Because those are the only two options..
How about something just slightly less wanky and self-regarding like ‘I’m sorry I need to spend an evening bettering myself with modern American poetry and Gershwin turned up to eleven..’
I just think its just a little pathetic on people moaning about how they are let down. No means no how ever its said lets be honest its not how its said people get the hump at being rejected. "
Kinda. I think the worst rejections are the ones that are so overly complicated that they are so blatantly lies though. Would much rather a fairly straightforward ‘Sorry you’re not for us’ than an ‘emergency babysitting appointment’ and two page explanation. The insult is that they don’t think you’re emotionally mature enough to cope with their rejection.
And to answer the OP, I do think people often genuinely take time away from fab, particularly couples, but then they tend to hide their profiles and/or not be online. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it? "
What difference does it make how they say it? They don't want to fuck you.  |
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
What difference does it make how they say it? They don't want to fuck you. "
Because when the previous (post face pic) chats have all been so happy and positive and full of plans, it's pretty reasonable to think they actually do mean it first time, no..? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We get that a lot because Mrs is not bi but once we know the feeling then we just move on. But we have given two years to ourselves anyway in this world and this December it's two years.
We will take a break and may come back.
Best way to take time and think if we need this life or not .
xx |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club? "
Honestly, it's really none of your business what they do now, they didn't want to meet you and tried to let you down gently, just block them and move on. |
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We've just came back from a little break. We're swingers who love sex but we're also a couple. We have a personal life, a loving relationship to maintain and sometimes it's nice to take a step back to just focus on us.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club?
Honestly, it's really none of your business what they do now, they didn't want to meet you and tried to let you down gently, just block them and move on. "
I agree with this
OP I would just take the hint and move on |
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"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club?
Honestly, it's really none of your business what they do now, they didn't want to meet you and tried to let you down gently, just block them and move on.
I agree with this
OP I would just take the hint and move on"
Yes, of course we do. The point is it still seems like a crappy and vague way of killing a conversation. And initially I thought it was a genuine thing to say, not a lane excuse. I've no interest in chasing any who doesn't want to meet, especially those without the decency to even say so. |
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We take regular breaks from here just to have ‘us’ but I do also much prefer to use a different excuse not to meet someone other than say they aren’t our type, could be either, don’t fret about it just find another couple |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Think it’s a very polite way of saying. Sorry we don’t fancy you. Much better than being ghosted or just coming out with it and possibly hurting your feelings. |
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By *aysolCouple
over a year ago
Swansea |
"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it? "
Yes we are doing that now. I don't know why you'd dismiss it as BS. Introducing new people to a relationship can bring up all sorts of things and sometimes breaks are needed. |
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
Yes we are doing that now. I don't know why you'd dismiss it as BS. Introducing new people to a relationship can bring up all sorts of things and sometimes breaks are needed."
It's bs when it's a lie... Ffs why can't anyone pay attention? |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
Yes we are doing that now. I don't know why you'd dismiss it as BS. Introducing new people to a relationship can bring up all sorts of things and sometimes breaks are needed.
It's bs when it's a lie... Ffs why can't anyone pay attention? "
Wow, why so rude? They gave you a reason not to meet you, that's it, who are you to question their reasoning? They were letting you down gently. Get over it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
Yes we are doing that now. I don't know why you'd dismiss it as BS. Introducing new people to a relationship can bring up all sorts of things and sometimes breaks are needed.
It's bs when it's a lie... Ffs why can't anyone pay attention? "
Maybe this attitude made them realise they can do better. But was descent enough to be polite |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I feel somewhat foolish to have not realised sooner that when a couple says that to you, it's almost certainly pure bullshit and they just don't have the decency to give you a clean "No thanks". Have you ever said it and actually meant it?
Yes we are doing that now. I don't know why you'd dismiss it as BS. Introducing new people to a relationship can bring up all sorts of things and sometimes breaks are needed.
It's bs when it's a lie... Ffs why can't anyone pay attention?
Maybe this attitude made them realise they can do better. But was descent enough to be polite "
Very possibly. There's no proof they were lying, like I said earlier, they may have wanted a break from private meets. I'm sure they wouldn't be too happy about being accused of lying and bullshitting on an open forum either. |
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Wow, why so rude? They gave you a reason not to meet you, that's it, who are you to question their reasoning? They were letting you down gently. Get over it! "
I am over it. I'm trying to talk about it in general. I just don't see why some people seem to think its a nice strategy to ambiguously fade away.
I don't want to be rude but I really think I'm putting my point across pretty clearly but people keep answering a question I'm not asking.
I struggled to realise that when we were told that it was code for "eww, not meeting you ever". I'd rather they just said it straight, that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, why so rude? They gave you a reason not to meet you, that's it, who are you to question their reasoning? They were letting you down gently. Get over it!
I am over it. I'm trying to talk about it in general. I just don't see why some people seem to think its a nice strategy to ambiguously fade away.
I don't want to be rude but I really think I'm putting my point across pretty clearly but people keep answering a question I'm not asking.
I struggled to realise that when we were told that it was code for "eww, not meeting you ever". I'd rather they just said it straight, that's all. "
I get your point.
If I don't want to meet a particular person/couple I'm upfront and say that they're not for me. Sometimes they'll ask why, and I'll tell them I'm not attracted. Yes, it's brutal, but at least people know where they stand with me. |
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I get your point.
If I don't want to meet a particular person/couple I'm upfront and say that they're not for me. Sometimes they'll ask why, and I'll tell them I'm not attracted. Yes, it's brutal, but at least people know where they stand with me. "
Brutal works for me, means I don't then not realise and keep talking to them anyway and being an unwittingly being a nuisance as well as wasting my time. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Wow, why so rude? They gave you a reason not to meet you, that's it, who are you to question their reasoning? They were letting you down gently. Get over it!
I am over it. I'm trying to talk about it in general. I just don't see why some people seem to think its a nice strategy to ambiguously fade away.
I don't want to be rude but I really think I'm putting my point across pretty clearly but people keep answering a question I'm not asking.
I struggled to realise that when we were told that it was code for "eww, not meeting you ever". I'd rather they just said it straight, that's all. "
Because when people say sorry not for me/ a blunt and clear no/ they often get abuse. So they either don't reply at all, block, or say something polite as per your OP. |
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Because when people say sorry not for me/ a blunt and clear no/ they often get abuse. So they either don't reply at all, block, or say something polite as per your OP. "
That makes sense I suppose. Another case, much like the mass treatment of single guys, where some good people get a raw deal from the actions of others.
No one will ever get abuse from us if they're honest, it just makes me feel a bit sad. And then I want to some weird customer research and ask them about their motivations and where we went wrong ... But I don't! |
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By *aysolCouple
over a year ago
Swansea |
All Im saying is that Im said Im taking a break from fab to someone recently and that Im still interested, and it is 100 percent true. I can see how being led on can be fustrating. Anyway I usually say something like You're not for us or its not a match im affraid. I think thats gentle enough but also clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Because when people say sorry not for me/ a blunt and clear no/ they often get abuse. So they either don't reply at all, block, or say something polite as per your OP.
That makes sense I suppose. Another case, much like the mass treatment of single guys, where some good people get a raw deal from the actions of others.
No one will ever get abuse from us if they're honest, it just makes me feel a bit sad. And then I want to some weird customer research and ask them about their motivations and where we went wrong ... But I don't! "
I hate it when people ask me why I won't meet them. What good would it do? I'm not going to change my mind. We're just not compatible.
The next person might think they're amazing. If they tried to change to please me, then the next person might not like them after all. |
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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"The most important people on here are each other and if we felt we needed to step back we most certainly would.
But would you then also keep posting events to meet couples that evening and say on your status how excited you are to go to the next club? "
No, We might go to a club for a change but wouldn’t put up a status about it.
S |
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