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Sounding board.....
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OK, got an unusual one here - been chatting to a single woman on here who has hinted at meeting, but always finds reasons not to when it comes to it. Fair enough in itself, but the self-same woman uses me as her sounding board when her actual meets turn out to be disrespectful, presumptuous or have issues for whatever reasons.
The question is should I feel flattered that she feels she can talk to me, or should I feel like I'm having the piss taken and my nose rubbed in it? Odd one I know! |
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"OK, got an unusual one here - been chatting to a single woman on here who has hinted at meeting, but always finds reasons not to when it comes to it. Fair enough in itself, but the self-same woman uses me as her sounding board when her actual meets turn out to be disrespectful, presumptuous or have issues for whatever reasons.
The question is should I feel flattered that she feels she can talk to me, or should I feel like I'm having the piss taken and my nose rubbed in it? Odd one I know! "
Think she sees you as a friend only.....it’s not a bad thing! Maybe hold back on pressuring her to meet! She will meet you when she is ready. |
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"OK, got an unusual one here - been chatting to a single woman on here who has hinted at meeting, but always finds reasons not to when it comes to it. Fair enough in itself, but the self-same woman uses me as her sounding board when her actual meets turn out to be disrespectful, presumptuous or have issues for whatever reasons.
The question is should I feel flattered that she feels she can talk to me, or should I feel like I'm having the piss taken and my nose rubbed in it? Odd one I know!
Think she sees you as a friend only.....it’s not a bad thing! Maybe hold back on pressuring her to meet! She will meet you when she is ready. "
Thanks for that. Never been any pressure, just gentle suggestion periodically that gets a stiff ignoring to. |
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"Do you know for sure she is actually meeting others?? Could be her way albeit very sad if so of her testing you on behaviours etc ?? "
I'm kind of assuming so. Seems to be genuine. I don't react in any negative way. So far I've tried to respond positively to her questions. Starting to suspect I'm being seen as a 'nice guy' who's not worth meeting, rather than the bad boy that all women seem to want.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Do you know for sure she is actually meeting others?? Could be her way albeit very sad if so of her testing you on behaviours etc ??
I'm kind of assuming so. Seems to be genuine. I don't react in any negative way. So far I've tried to respond positively to her questions. Starting to suspect I'm being seen as a 'nice guy' who's not worth meeting, rather than the bad boy that all women seem to want. "
Where do men get this ridiculous idea from  |
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"Not sure if she’s going to appreciate you talking about her on a public forum. "
Not sure what that's got to do with it? I'm simply asking as to whether the concensus is that I'm just seen as a 'friend' and should be flattered, or if I'm being taken for a mug. |
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"Do you know for sure she is actually meeting others?? Could be her way albeit very sad if so of her testing you on behaviours etc ??
I'm kind of assuming so. Seems to be genuine. I don't react in any negative way. So far I've tried to respond positively to her questions. Starting to suspect I'm being seen as a 'nice guy' who's not worth meeting, rather than the bad boy that all women seem to want.
Where do men get this ridiculous idea from "
Which idea? |
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"OK, got an unusual one here - been chatting to a single woman on here who has hinted at meeting, but always finds reasons not to when it comes to it. Fair enough in itself, but the self-same woman uses me as her sounding board when her actual meets turn out to be disrespectful, presumptuous or have issues for whatever reasons.
The question is should I feel flattered that she feels she can talk to me, or should I feel like I'm having the piss taken and my nose rubbed in it? Odd one I know!
Think she sees you as a friend only.....it’s not a bad thing! Maybe hold back on pressuring her to meet! She will meet you when she is ready.
Thanks for that. Never been any pressure, just gentle suggestion periodically that gets a stiff ignoring to. "
Ask me more than twice for a meet and it’s pressure! We meet when we want to....she is a friend only and you need to accept it or move on. She may be reading this thread!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Do you know for sure she is actually meeting others?? Could be her way albeit very sad if so of her testing you on behaviours etc ??
I'm kind of assuming so. Seems to be genuine. I don't react in any negative way. So far I've tried to respond positively to her questions. Starting to suspect I'm being seen as a 'nice guy' who's not worth meeting, rather than the bad boy that all women seem to want.
Where do men get this ridiculous idea from
Which idea? "
That women would rather meet a bad boy than a nice guy |
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"OK, got an unusual one here - been chatting to a single woman on here who has hinted at meeting, but always finds reasons not to when it comes to it. Fair enough in itself, but the self-same woman uses me as her sounding board when her actual meets turn out to be disrespectful, presumptuous or have issues for whatever reasons.
The question is should I feel flattered that she feels she can talk to me, or should I feel like I'm having the piss taken and my nose rubbed in it? Odd one I know!
Think she sees you as a friend only.....it’s not a bad thing! Maybe hold back on pressuring her to meet! She will meet you when she is ready.
Thanks for that. Never been any pressure, just gentle suggestion periodically that gets a stiff ignoring to.
Ask me more than twice for a meet and it’s pressure! We meet when we want to....she is a friend only and you need to accept it or move on. She may be reading this thread! "
That's fair comment. Putting it in perspective I've raised meeting three times in four months, so not sure if that's excessive. Think it's time to cut the cord. Appreciate the feedback all - nice to get different perspectives. |
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"Do you know for sure she is actually meeting others?? Could be her way albeit very sad if so of her testing you on behaviours etc ??
I'm kind of assuming so. Seems to be genuine. I don't react in any negative way. So far I've tried to respond positively to her questions. Starting to suspect I'm being seen as a 'nice guy' who's not worth meeting, rather than the bad boy that all women seem to want.
Where do men get this ridiculous idea from
Which idea?
That women would rather meet a bad boy than a nice guy "
OK, interesting, thank you for that. I tend to send polite, hopefully interesting messages, so kind of figured that was part of the reason for a lack of interest sometimes. Who knows!  |
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"Ask her in general terms if she intends to meet. Talk about where you stand.
Friendship is great on its own merits and isn't always about sex. But you both have to want that. "
Very good advice. Ty! X |
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"Ask her in general terms if she intends to meet. Talk about where you stand.
Friendship is great on its own merits and isn't always about sex. But you both have to want that.
Very good advice. Ty! X"
#pressure #becareful.....
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Hey OP. I get that in the real world so have an understanding of your predicament. In the world of Fab are you often chatting to women and getting meets? If so chatting to this woman isn’t getting in the way. |
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"Hey OP. I get that in the real world so have an understanding of your predicament. In the world of Fab are you often chatting to women and getting meets? If so chatting to this woman isn’t getting in the way. "
Thanks for replying. No, not getting in the way - I have had one meet recently. I'd been chatting to a friend on here earlier and had a light bulb moment and started thinking I'm either approaching things wrong or I'm getting used. Like one of the first folks to reply said maybe I'm just in the "friends zone'. Hope it's not too frustrating for you! |
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"Ask her in general terms if she intends to meet. Talk about where you stand.
Friendship is great on its own merits and isn't always about sex. But you both have to want that.
Very good advice. Ty! X
#pressure #becareful.....
"
Would like to think I've never created pressure since the day I joined Fab, but will certainly be even more diligent now. Thank you again! |
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Lol I've had this a lot with women and couples. Can go on for months. I'll get so far then lose energy after several failed attempts to set a meet or find that they arrange a meet with someone else after keeping me on a leash for an eternity. Annoying when all other methods of communication are also ignored/refused leaving your messages to be lost in the hundreds they get daily (one girl I know had 350 in a single day).
Ask her outright what the score is as you're here to meet. You might just be one of many kept in reserve in case they're let down (a couple did that to me once so I blocked em). |
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"Lol I've had this a lot with women and couples. Can go on for months. I'll get so far then lose energy after several failed attempts to set a meet or find that they arrange a meet with someone else after keeping me on a leash for an eternity. Annoying when all other methods of communication are also ignored/refused leaving your messages to be lost in the hundreds they get daily (one girl I know had 350 in a single day).
Ask her outright what the score is as you're here to meet. You might just be one of many kept in reserve in case they're let down (a couple did that to me once so I blocked em)."
Thanks for that - that's kind of what I was concerned about being....and certainly not what I intend to be. I'd like to think I'm a decent sort, but I'm no doormat. |
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