FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Unicorns, Why Is This Place Hard Work?
Unicorns, Why Is This Place Hard Work?
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
Ok, Before we start, No we don't think Unicorns exist but it probably got the attention of the right group of people.
Ok, we've been here a few years now & before we go would just like to ask the question..
Why is finding a single lady for FFM FMF however you want to describe it so hard?
We've been on here messaging the odd person & had very little back. We've played with two single females in all the time we've been here. (About four years iirc)
Meanwhile out on social media or face to face while out (Shopping was the last one!) in Vanilla settings has led to three play meets & a social next week to see if we'll gel before taking things further all in the last year alone.
So why? Obviously we are not saying everyone on here should sleep with everyone but we really don't get why it's so hard.
Outside of Fab it just happens with an innocuous comment or a like of the same on social media which develops into a chat.
We no longer bother even messaging someone "Just" because they've put Bi on their profile & want to meet couples. We just let their verifications prove it first..
Anyway, We just pondered that's all.
Love to all (Regardless of above)
S&H |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s likely hard because a lot of couples are looking for the same thing as you, just like it’s hard for some single men to get meets due to the ratio on here.
If you’re successful elsewhere maybe stick to that?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't like feeling like a commodity and would rather a couple actually want to invest time in getting to know me and becoming friends. In real life the person you make an innocuous comment to, which leads to more, is likely to be a friend. It's nice to feel comfortable and relaxed with a couple which starts with friendship for me. Too many couples send messages bypassing all of that which makes me feel like a commodity. Start from a point of friendship and I think the unicorn is your oyster x |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I don't like feeling like a commodity and would rather a couple actually want to invest time in getting to know me and becoming friends. In real life the person you make an innocuous comment to, which leads to more, is likely to be a friend. It's nice to feel comfortable and relaxed with a couple which starts with friendship for me. Too many couples send messages bypassing all of that which makes me feel like a commodity. Start from a point of friendship and I think the unicorn is your oyster x"
Makes it difficult on here, We've always gone that route, chat first not even mentioning a meet or sex just general but try to make it non-boring & zip usually or even worse (& common) the profiles that state "make your message interesting" you try & get back two bloody words, When that happens it's H that'll go "We'll you can fuck right off, it works both ways lovely" 
S |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like feeling like a commodity and would rather a couple actually want to invest time in getting to know me and becoming friends. In real life the person you make an innocuous comment to, which leads to more, is likely to be a friend. It's nice to feel comfortable and relaxed with a couple which starts with friendship for me. Too many couples send messages bypassing all of that which makes me feel like a commodity. Start from a point of friendship and I think the unicorn is your oyster x
Makes it difficult on here, We've always gone that route, chat first not even mentioning a meet or sex just general but try to make it non-boring & zip usually or even worse (& common) the profiles that state "make your message interesting" you try & get back two bloody words, When that happens it's H that'll go "We'll you can fuck right off, it works both ways lovely"
S"
Sounds annoying! I'd stick with your approach though |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"It’s likely hard because a lot of couples are looking for the same thing as you, just like it’s hard for some single men to get meets due to the ratio on here.
If you’re successful elsewhere maybe stick to that? "
We are going that route as soon as supporter runs out & have actually stopped bothering to message on here. We are both a little fed up of the messaging that goes nowhere, same input gets more output in vanilla world even if just a night out for a fun social.
We've decided we want more than just the sex though so we don't do clubs anymore as that's really all we see them as for most.
xx
S&H |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't like feeling like a commodity and would rather a couple actually want to invest time in getting to know me and becoming friends. In real life the person you make an innocuous comment to, which leads to more, is likely to be a friend. It's nice to feel comfortable and relaxed with a couple which starts with friendship for me. Too many couples send messages bypassing all of that which makes me feel like a commodity. Start from a point of friendship and I think the unicorn is your oyster x"
That’s part of the reason why I haven’t and would never meet a couple. We’d like to meet a lady but I would hate for her to feel like just a spare part as that’s exactly how I think I’d feel when I see some profiles on here x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe just the amount of competition on here and you’re not both everyone’s cup of tea? (The word both being key as for me there needs to be a an attraction to both) so double chance of one of you not ticking a box kind of scenario as let’s face it on here visual attraction first mental attraction secondary
Your approach would work for me I’d like to find and have found couples who remain friends |
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"Ok, Before we start, No we don't think Unicorns exist but it probably got the attention of the right group of people.
Ok, we've been here a few years now & before we go would just like to ask the question..
Why is finding a single lady for FFM FMF however you want to describe it so hard?
We've been on here messaging the odd person & had very little back. We've played with two single females in all the time we've been here. (About four years iirc)
Meanwhile out on social media or face to face while out (Shopping was the last one!) in Vanilla settings has led to three play meets & a social next week to see if we'll gel before taking things further all in the last year alone.
So why? Obviously we are not saying everyone on here should sleep with everyone but we really don't get why it's so hard.
Outside of Fab it just happens with an innocuous comment or a like of the same on social media which develops into a chat.
We no longer bother even messaging someone "Just" because they've put Bi on their profile & want to meet couples. We just let their verifications prove it first..
Anyway, We just pondered that's all.
Love to all (Regardless of above)
S&H"
You won’t be for everyone, just keep looking till you find someone where there is mutual interest and attraction.. It’s the very same scenario for everyone here.. |
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I've had precisely zero luck with couples via messages on Fab. Generally (not always) I'm made to feel like a commodity, a toy for them to share. The men who get it right treat me as an equal, we meet, we're friendly (sometimes friends), we give each other pleasure. Anyone who forgets that I'm my own person with my own interests will get nowhere with me. I'm doing this for myself.
I always reply fully when I reply, and yes I expect an interesting personal message. Ultimately Fab makes me feel like most people see me as a convenient vagina, not my own person. I want to not feel that before I engage. |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I think you've got the right approach OP, it's how I've gone on to meet couples in the past and it's worked very well for me. I think that it can be more difficult for women to meet couples on fab and vice versa. I think there's a reticence on the woman's part a lot of the time - not wanting to feel like a fleshlight, wanting equal engagement which makes things difficult.
The couples I have met have taken the time to get to know me as me and that makes a lot of difference. Too much pressure to move things forward to quickly and I shy away. |
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Well whenever that silly word sprang from certainly wouldn't be an eye catcher ...
I've been here for around Seven years now,so tremendous amount of change as attitude,I've person had couples accounts( Master n Sub as being very experienced trained Sub)
I had absolutely no problem at all, meeting ,greeting and arranging FFM .
More than likely as we treated and spoiled the Lady in question total attention to her ....not unlike many here that just want to "dip" their toes for the woman in the couples and Managed to arrange with many single
Ladies
It's how you word it, the first initial message,your interest in them etc. Become trusting ,as you inviting a stranger into "your home" as well visa versa.
But also see its just majority of times an list of if things to do tick oft.
At last count my own achievements with my then Master(yes I'm aware not all into that)
Was 23 FFM meets I'm sure my old account is floating around this the verifications
I also kept rather a few as friends socialize at the time and also proudly trained a few Subs,whom on grapevine are still practicing
Well theres my achievement,so it can be done with patience as understanding.
So when I'm broached with that FFM saying I politely refer to "worn the shirt been there done it"
But now I'm the single one in control of my Account
Swinging it's so mystical as once was ,case of oh lets try and amount of youngers,where thought to be out n about enjoying not here ( my opinion )
Happy fabbing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its not rocket science if you think about it. If you expect a woman to play with male and female in a couple they have to be attracted to both of them. With a single you only have to be attracted to the one person so the odds are higher. In reality though its easier for a woman to meet a man they have previously met and one of his previous playmates that interested in you and you them. |
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"Well whenever that silly word sprang from certainly wouldn't be an eye catcher ...
I've been here for around Seven years now,so tremendous amount of change as attitude,I've person had couples accounts( Master n Sub as being very experienced trained Sub)
I had absolutely no problem at all, meeting ,greeting and arranging FFM .
More than likely as we treated and spoiled the Lady in question total attention to her ....not unlike many here that just want to "dip" their toes for the woman in the couples and Managed to arrange with many single
Ladies
It's how you word it, the first initial message,your interest in them etc. Become trusting ,as you inviting a stranger into "your home" as well visa versa.
But also see its just majority of times an list of if things to do tick oft.
At last count my own achievements with my then Master(yes I'm aware not all into that)
Was 23 FFM meets I'm sure my old account is floating around this the verifications
I also kept rather a few as friends socialize at the time and also proudly trained a few Subs,whom on grapevine are still practicing
Well theres my achievement,so it can be done with patience as understanding.
So when I'm broached with that FFM saying I politely refer to "worn the shirt been there done it"
But now I'm the single one in control of my Account
Swinging it's so mystical as once was ,case of oh lets try and amount of youngers,where thought to be out n about enjoying not here ( my opinion )
Happy fabbing "
Meant Swinging was once Mystical..but alas a hum drum, maybe let's get sloshed or smokes and do
No booze or anything else passed my lips,as must when Swinging a big no no.
But world's my oysters with Gentleman, my lips be gushing.. |
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
"Ok, Before we start, No we don't think Unicorns exist but it probably got the attention of the right group of people.
Ok, we've been here a few years now & before we go would just like to ask the question..
Why is finding a single lady for FFM FMF however you want to describe it so hard?
We've been on here messaging the odd person & had very little back. We've played with two single females in all the time we've been here. (About four years iirc)
Meanwhile out on social media or face to face while out (Shopping was the last one!) in Vanilla settings has led to three play meets & a social next week to see if we'll gel before taking things further all in the last year alone.
So why? Obviously we are not saying everyone on here should sleep with everyone but we really don't get why it's so hard.
Outside of Fab it just happens with an innocuous comment or a like of the same on social media which develops into a chat.
We no longer bother even messaging someone "Just" because they've put Bi on their profile & want to meet couples. We just let their verifications prove it first..
Anyway, We just pondered that's all.
Love to all (Regardless of above)
S&H"
Female unicorn syndrome sounds terribly ideal-bull syndrome for cuckold couples. Even some hot wives struggle getting that ideal bull who gets it. Others lucky. £ have a view on luck though which pkays a part. Personally, I think it's what's on offer and what's around. Each dynamic has its kinks but this far more niche than MFM. Good luck. |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I've had precisely zero luck with couples via messages on Fab. Generally (not always) I'm made to feel like a commodity, a toy for them to share. The men who get it right treat me as an equal, we meet, we're friendly (sometimes friends), we give each other pleasure. Anyone who forgets that I'm my own person with my own interests will get nowhere with me. I'm doing this for myself.
I always reply fully when I reply, and yes I expect an interesting personal message. Ultimately Fab makes me feel like most people see me as a convenient vagina, not my own person. I want to not feel that before I engage. "
Maybe herein lies another problem? You think like us, adding another would be adding a third, not being a 2+1 just for "Fun" treated as an equal & chatted to by both, social interaction from both. Another poster has said when she was in a couple they had great success as they put the third almost on a pedestal..Not happening here. they would be an equal, no more, no less..The treated like a piece of meat scenario works both ways.
Pick the wrong message to the wrong type & you get nowhere before you start. Out in the street, the attraction thing is sorted pretty quickly as is an attitude & demeanor after a bit of conversation.
We are finding it so much easier outside of a swinging group which makes little sense.
xx
S&H |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Its not rocket science if you think about it. If you expect a woman to play with male and female in a couple they have to be attracted to both of them. With a single you only have to be attracted to the one person so the odds are higher. In reality though its easier for a woman to meet a man they have previously met and one of his previous playmates that interested in you and you them. "
Agreed, but doesn't explain why we find it easier outside than in here really. In here should be more open than vanilla, Some profiles even take the pee out of those in Vanilla World saying it's boring & not for them etc.
We are finding if you are "open" there's more non vanilla going on out there than in here, at least for us anyway & it was this we have trouble understanding on a swing site.
xx
S&H |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab generally is more effort than real life. "
If more people put a real life effort in to it I’m sure it would be easier
For example slapping your dick on a pub table and saying something like wanna ride that till you squirt babe may not be the best approach to attract a possible friend however on here it seems all normal rules of approach are forgotten !! Same applies for women and couples before I get my head bitten off !! |
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"Fab generally is more effort than real life.
If more people put a real life effort in to it I’m sure it would be easier
For example slapping your dick on a pub table and saying something like wanna ride that till you squirt babe may not be the best approach to attract a possible friend however on here it seems all normal rules of approach are forgotten !! Same applies for women and couples before I get my head bitten off !!"
Oh god yeah.
The equivalent of most of my messages in real life would have me calling security or the police! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Meeting woman is hard on here full stop. Doesn't matter if you're a man, woman, couple, TG, etc.
Disagree lots genuine women in here I’ve met many "
Good for you  |
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By *manaWoman
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"I don't like feeling like a commodity and would rather a couple actually want to invest time in getting to know me and becoming friends. In real life the person you make an innocuous comment to, which leads to more, is likely to be a friend. It's nice to feel comfortable and relaxed with a couple which starts with friendship for me. Too many couples send messages bypassing all of that which makes me feel like a commodity. Start from a point of friendship and I think the unicorn is your oyster x"
Exactly this!! Couldnt agree more... I meet 1 couple regularly but they are now dear friends xx |
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"I don't like feeling like a commodity and would rather a couple actually want to invest time in getting to know me and becoming friends. In real life the person you make an innocuous comment to, which leads to more, is likely to be a friend. It's nice to feel comfortable and relaxed with a couple which starts with friendship for me. Too many couples send messages bypassing all of that which makes me feel like a commodity. Start from a point of friendship and I think the unicorn is your oyster x"
Absolutely agree.
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I'm personally not a fan on talking to couples profiles. It either feels like you're both one person, you only talk to one or the switching between the two throughout a conversation is disjointing. I would prefer to get to know each person using separate accounts but then fab won't allow that if you only meet together. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab generally is more effort than real life. "
I agree. It's more difficult communicating via text. Easier face to face.
Many women get so many messages they can't be arsed to reply. Hence their two word answers.
OP sounds like you're fine, you're not the issue here. The women just aren't compatible with you.
It also made me laugh that H said sod mailing them if they can only give 2 word answers, I agree! Don't waste your time on anyone with attitudes like that.
Good luck outside Fab, sounds like you're doing good. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most couple profiles don't show enough of the guy in their photos. It's also hard on this side of the fence. Once in a blue moon are you physically attracted to both and then they often act like they are doing you a favour and not interested in what you like or just want to meet separately behind the others back. It's rarely worth the effort but when it works it's great |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mrs here. I've been with two couples on my own and am planning my third. They just intrigued me and so I went for it, so glad I did. Where as I'd find it hard to randonly meet ppl for same sort of fun on a night out. Lol wouldn't know how to even approach the subject. Good luck! S x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Most couple profiles don't show enough of the guy in their photos. It's also hard on this side of the fence. Once in a blue moon are you physically attracted to both and then they often act like they are doing you a favour and not interested in what you like or just want to meet separately behind the others back. It's rarely worth the effort but when it works it's great"
This |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've had precisely zero luck with couples via messages on Fab. Generally (not always) I'm made to feel like a commodity, a toy for them to share. The men who get it right treat me as an equal, we meet, we're friendly (sometimes friends), we give each other pleasure. Anyone who forgets that I'm my own person with my own interests will get nowhere with me. I'm doing this for myself.
I always reply fully when I reply, and yes I expect an interesting personal message. Ultimately Fab makes me feel like most people see me as a convenient vagina, not my own person. I want to not feel that before I engage. "
This is why I don’t message single women looking to meet I am terrified of coming off like they’re for G’s amusement or they wouldn’t have fun with us or are used for fantasy. I haven’t figured out how to approach women so we don’t really try lol |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"I'm personally not a fan on talking to couples profiles. It either feels like you're both one person, you only talk to one or the switching between the two throughout a conversation is disjointing. I would prefer to get to know each person using separate accounts but then fab won't allow that if you only meet together."
Why we use the hated Kik though, no smut, no pic/vid request crap it just makes three way conversation so much easier. We are also on an FM Poly site & messenger works just the same, but you do need to either be more trusting or very open about your sexuality with those you know, which we are.
x
S&H |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Mrs here. I've been with two couples on my own and am planning my third. They just intrigued me and so I went for it, so glad I did. Where as I'd find it hard to randonly meet ppl for same sort of fun on a night out. Lol wouldn't know how to even approach the subject. Good luck! S x "
Having red dreads & being a bit alternative is a good conversation starter, quite a few use those as an "In" (Including on here) to get a conversation going with us but it soon moves on, Guess it's no worse than a short skirt or low cut top ;-D
xx
S&H |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Fab generally is more effort than real life.
I agree. It's more difficult communicating via text. Easier face to face.
Many women get so many messages they can't be arsed to reply. Hence their two word answers.
OP sounds like you're fine, you're not the issue here. The women just aren't compatible with you.
It also made me laugh that H said sod mailing them if they can only give 2 word answers, I agree! Don't waste your time on anyone with attitudes like that.
Good luck outside Fab, sounds like you're doing good. "
Thank You x
S&H |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Fab generally is more effort than real life.
If more people put a real life effort in to it I’m sure it would be easier
For example slapping your dick on a pub table and saying something like wanna ride that till you squirt babe may not be the best approach to attract a possible friend however on here it seems all normal rules of approach are forgotten !! Same applies for women and couples before I get my head bitten off !!
Oh god yeah.
The equivalent of most of my messages in real life would have me calling security or the police! "
Absolutely. This is spot on  |
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"I don't like feeling like a commodity and would rather a couple actually want to invest time in getting to know me and becoming friends. In real life the person you make an innocuous comment to, which leads to more, is likely to be a friend. It's nice to feel comfortable and relaxed with a couple which starts with friendship for me. Too many couples send messages bypassing all of that which makes me feel like a commodity. Start from a point of friendship and I think the unicorn is your oyster x"
This. We are only interested in meeting people we would love to hang out with in real life. We have no expectations of anything else happening, if it does wonderful, if it doesn’t it’s no big deal, we have a terrific new friend. We’ve met four single ladies from here, and one of them became a close friend for almost a year before she decided to move on. Everybody wants to feel valued, wanted, desired and seen. Even all of us here. |
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"Fab generally is more effort than real life.
If more people put a real life effort in to it I’m sure it would be easier
For example slapping your dick on a pub table and saying something like wanna ride that till you squirt babe may not be the best approach to attract a possible friend however on here it seems all normal rules of approach are forgotten !! Same applies for women and couples before I get my head bitten off !!
Oh god yeah.
The equivalent of most of my messages in real life would have me calling security or the police!
Absolutely. This is spot on "
This |
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"Lol why the need to analyse it?
It's obvious, you're not as fit as the couples they are saying yes to lol.
There's no need to be rude.
That isnt being rude, it's the correct answer! "
No, it's not, as outlined above. |
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By *rotica xCouple
over a year ago
Chepstow/Portugal |
I won’t lie, we’ve been on and off of fab for nearly four years. Miraculously, we’ve met a handful of lovely ladies on here, though messages are a lot different than to real life. A woman may “say” they’re attracted to both but we fast realised that wasn’t the case at all as the attention was directed in one way (for both of us) so we politely ended it at drinks. We are far more interested in the mental side than the sexual, and to be honest the social side (for me anyway), is the best part. I’ve made so many friends I’ve taken away from the experiences regardless of whether it had progressed or not.
But! We have met a lot more women for social meets and play meets on other sites which have been less challenging because of the whole “swipe left/right” thing or other ways where people can find someone through attraction prior. This site is more a community - it will be harder for all parties xx |
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"Most couple profiles don't show enough of the guy in their photos. It's also hard on this side of the fence. Once in a blue moon are you physically attracted to both and then they often act like they are doing you a favour and not interested in what you like or just want to meet separately behind the others back. It's rarely worth the effort but when it works it's great"
Exactly this |
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We have found it very hard to find fun on fab (near impossible) we are the exact same as in when we are in normal everyday settings we had lovely experiences with 3 ladies that's just came from nowhere, that's what brought us to fab about 6 months ago and so far we have totally lucked out. We understand we might no be everyones cup of tea but we know exactly why we are here and wouldn't waste anyone's time if we were unsure about meeting which unfortunately for us seems to happen 99% of the time one here  However we like the forum aspect of this site and we continue to be ever hopeful. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I am a Unicorn. I am also a person and would want to be treated as such. I've played with lots of couples over the 8 years I've been living this lifestyle, and for the most part they have been great fun and very respectful. I can think of 2 couples who I won't be seeing again, one because they made me feel like I was a call-girl (didn't show me out of the house. Had to find my own way, in the dark, couldn't find light switches but could hear them shagging away again upstairs!!!) And the other because they lied about the smoking thing. I'm not nose-blind! Not everyone is going to click with everyone. That's the good thing about this site, you choose who you meet and play with. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe try a club social and ask around I know some clubs but on specific events for couples looking for women. But It would depend on if you would 1. Go to a swingers club and 2. Live close to a club or willing to travel to a club. Hopefully this thread helps you find the lady you are looking for |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Jesus, people make it sound so hard arranging a FFM meet, it’s not! Over thinking it doesn’t help at all,
So as a couple you’ll have no problem unless you have hang ups, silly rules, jealousy issues, no patience, want them as a plaything, put them on a pedestal or have a crap profile and pics (seems that rules out a large chunk of people)
As a single lady you’ll have no problem meeting nice couples unless you are mistrusting, think the worst of people, need to be the centre of attention, have let fab attention go to your head
(Seems that would rule out a lot people too) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Its not rocket science if you think about it. If you expect a woman to play with male and female in a couple they have to be attracted to both of them. With a single you only have to be attracted to the one person so the odds are higher. In reality though its easier for a woman to meet a man they have previously met and one of his previous playmates that interested in you and you them. "
this!
I play with couples but never off Fab. I go to clubs and if the chemistry is there then I’ll play. Too much hard work on here to get it all to come together. Clubs are much easier because of that face to face aspect. |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Its not rocket science if you think about it. If you expect a woman to play with male and female in a couple they have to be attracted to both of them. With a single you only have to be attracted to the one person so the odds are higher. In reality though its easier for a woman to meet a man they have previously met and one of his previous playmates that interested in you and you them.
this!
I play with couples but never off Fab. I go to clubs and if the chemistry is there then I’ll play. Too much hard work on here to get it all to come together. Clubs are much easier because of that face to face aspect. "
S |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Jesus, people make it sound so hard arranging a FFM meet, it’s not! Over thinking it doesn’t help at all,
So as a couple you’ll have no problem unless you have hang ups, silly rules, jealousy issues, no patience, want them as a plaything, put them on a pedestal or have a crap profile and pics (seems that rules out a large chunk of people)
As a single lady you’ll have no problem meeting nice couples unless you are mistrusting, think the worst of people, need to be the centre of attention, have let fab attention go to your head
(Seems that would rule out a lot people too)"
By the looks of it a lot of your meets are club based, Question asked was why is it hard on here? May I ask how many of your meets are purely through this site, not at a club or even via "Seeing someone in the flesh" so to speak & then contacting them here?
Pure,"Don't know you from Adam, sent a message, no we'll be at xyz club etc".
In otherwords a pure message here, chat, meet, play.
S |
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We haven't got to the stage of actually having an mff but we have come across women interested in joining us.
We found them by not looking for them. I have small conversations with people frequently on the forums and I very rarely say anything suggestive (flirty maybe but not with a goal). These sometimes turn into private conversations. We may talk about what we enjoy and what we would like to experience, but have never suggested we are hoping the person we are talking to is somebody we want it to happen with.
We just chat away and I think they don't feel pressured by us, and the conversation shows we are interested in them as a person.
As a result of conversations like these, at least three women have been suggestive with us. We have made no conscious attempt to push them in that direction. I think that's the key to it. Create opportunities to talk. Be friendly and expect nothing. It will give somebody space to make their mind up about us based on the rapport. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"We have found it very hard to find fun on fab (near impossible) we are the exact same as in when we are in normal everyday settings we had lovely experiences with 3 ladies that's just came from nowhere, that's what brought us to fab about 6 months ago and so far we have totally lucked out. We understand we might no be everyones cup of tea but we know exactly why we are here and wouldn't waste anyone's time if we were unsure about meeting which unfortunately for us seems to happen 99% of the time one here However we like the forum aspect of this site and we continue to be ever hopeful. "
How odd. Your pics are great and your profile is nice. Are you searching people out and taking the initiative? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Jesus, people make it sound so hard arranging a FFM meet, it’s not! Over thinking it doesn’t help at all,
So as a couple you’ll have no problem unless you have hang ups, silly rules, jealousy issues, no patience, want them as a plaything, put them on a pedestal or have a crap profile and pics (seems that rules out a large chunk of people)
As a single lady you’ll have no problem meeting nice couples unless you are mistrusting, think the worst of people, need to be the centre of attention, have let fab attention go to your head
(Seems that would rule out a lot people too)
By the looks of it a lot of your meets are club based, Question asked was why is it hard on here? May I ask how many of your meets are purely through this site, not at a club or even via "Seeing someone in the flesh" so to speak & then contacting them here?
Pure,"Don't know you from Adam, sent a message, no we'll be at xyz club etc".
In otherwords a pure message here, chat, meet, play.
S"
A few from clubs but most from here either by going in cold or via recommendation either us to the lady or vice versa, |
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Totally agree with the OP. I used to play with couples when I was single or in an open relationship but trying to find another genuine bi girl on here is not easy. Tbh, we've had much better luck on other less swingy sites like f*t life and okc. |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"If a couple wouldn't let me meet the lady alone then i have no interest in other meets with them "
We've moved to a more poly environment, not just meeting for sex. Once we get to know someone well enough then we are both happy if either of us meets the lady in question alone to hang out whatever. In the same way you would be happy to meet say us or H, we wouldn't, not unless the same applied to myself but we don't want a full poly thing where we each have others & mooch off with them.
We are not talking just play meets either, H for instance detests gory horror films, won't watch things like IT, the Ring, Saw, I love them & so does our social meet next week, so we have already discussed myself & her going to the flicks for our horror kicks. H on the other hand is more into fae & pagan stuff, which our new friend is also into so they could go off & do that together.
x
S |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"but trying to find another genuine bi girl on here is not easy."
I'm glad you said it, I wanted to but knew i'd probably get my head bit off, but after several months of contacting those we thought might be interested we came to the conclusion that unless they had a same sex play veri it wasn't worth us bothering to message them, as chances were.........
x
S |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Jesus, people make it sound so hard arranging a FFM meet, it’s not! Over thinking it doesn’t help at all,
So as a couple you’ll have no problem unless you have hang ups, silly rules, jealousy issues, no patience, want them as a plaything, put them on a pedestal or have a crap profile and pics (seems that rules out a large chunk of people)
As a single lady you’ll have no problem meeting nice couples unless you are mistrusting, think the worst of people, need to be the centre of attention, have let fab attention go to your head
(Seems that would rule out a lot people too)
By the looks of it a lot of your meets are club based, Question asked was why is it hard on here? May I ask how many of your meets are purely through this site, not at a club or even via "Seeing someone in the flesh" so to speak & then contacting them here?
Pure,"Don't know you from Adam, sent a message, no we'll be at xyz club etc".
In otherwords a pure message here, chat, meet, play.
S
A few from clubs but most from here either by going in cold or via recommendation either us to the lady or vice versa, "
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Been reading through these replies and I have to say it's horrible to see women feeling like a commodity or a toy.
Wed absolutely hate anyone to feel used by us. It should be about the shared experience for everyone involved.
I hope all you ladies walked away knowing you deserve better. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Been reading through these replies and I have to say it's horrible to see women feeling like a commodity or a toy.
Wed absolutely hate anyone to feel used by us. It should be about the shared experience for everyone involved.
I hope all you ladies walked away knowing you deserve better. "
Totally agree, it’s almost like they are viewed as prey sometimes.
I suspect we are like others on here, more than willing to socialise, yet we have never asked a girl to play, they have always asked us, so they come on their terms/fantasy.
We do not play what might be termed vanilla though. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
"Been reading through these replies and I have to say it's horrible to see women feeling like a commodity or a toy.
Wed absolutely hate anyone to feel used by us. It should be about the shared experience for everyone involved.
I hope all you ladies walked away knowing you deserve better.
Totally agree, it’s almost like they are viewed as prey sometimes.
I suspect we are like others on here, more than willing to socialise, yet we have never asked a girl to play, they have always asked us, so they come on their terms/fantasy.
We do not play what might be termed vanilla though."
Been thinking about this and what has impressed me every time, the girls that joined us, first asked if L was bi and then permission to join in.
Totally respectful, wonder if couples reciprocate this approach?
Never no assumptions.
That and don’t get too cognitive about it |
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By *mmmMaybe OP Couple
over a year ago
West Wales |
"Been reading through these replies and I have to say it's horrible to see women feeling like a commodity or a toy.
Wed absolutely hate anyone to feel used by us. It should be about the shared experience for everyone involved.
I hope all you ladies walked away knowing you deserve better. "
We would wholeheartedly agree, funnily enough though it works both ways, in a couple of meets both off here & outside we have had two where it was pretty obvious they were not very interested in H at all, just my cock & another the other way round, not bi much, more full on lesbian. We just go with the flow, don't meet again and laugh about it between ourselves afterwards. (None are on here now by the way)
So feeling used & little like a piece of meat does work both ways as i've said before.
H's favorite saying when messaging on here more often than not rapidly turns into "Oh FFS!".
S |
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By *pinCouple
over a year ago
edinburgh |
We rarely meet but if we do start talking to someone we try and all chat together, three way messaging as we’d prefer someone we get along with and can have fun doing whatever.
Not very common on fab though. |
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To be totally honest id be more than happy if all of the attention was on beast. Is has been in most of our 3sums but I love to watch him with another girl 
A lot of the time is us devoting our attention to the woman though. We have a lot of sensory play and delayed pleasure so most have wanted to learn all about it and try it out. We're more than happy to tie them down and tease every inch. We love showing people that there's more than vanilla sex without needed to include bdsm. |
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