FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Vanilla ignorance?
Vanilla ignorance?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
So a bit of background, I had a 4 month relationship with a vanilla guy when I moved here.
I was very open about my lifestyle but I didn’t play/stray whilst I was with him.
We’ve had a conversation this evening, I had a Fab play meet but i’m in a fab relationship too.
He doesn’t understand it, in fact he’s being very prejudiced about the lifestyle.
I have always been very open about my choices, I don’t feel that I need to hide it as I keep myself as safe as I can etc.
He said and I quote....
Lol yeah don't get it. But no way do you love ***** yet. Especially deeply. So no guilt or whatever. Then it's just doing what you want. It only might change with a deep love of someone. But everyone to their own I suppose.
He then went on to say that you definitely can’t be truly in love with someone but have sex with someone else!
It’s really bothered me, more than i’d care to explain.
I’d like thoughts please?
I know many who have met here, had relationships, marriage and kids.
Why are Nilla’s so negative?
Thanks x |
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If you are happy then that is all that matters.
His opinion is just that. I'd be inclined to ignore it. Imho he is wrong. But that's just my opinion.
Tbh he sounds a bit black and white and can't appreciate shades of grey.
Don't let his emotional guilt trip control you. He sounds a bit like my ex. And he's an ex for that very reason. |
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"So a bit of background, I had a 4 month relationship with a vanilla guy when I moved here.
I was very open about my lifestyle but I didn’t play/stray whilst I was with him.
We’ve had a conversation this evening, I had a Fab play meet but i’m in a fab relationship too.
He doesn’t understand it, in fact he’s being very prejudiced about the lifestyle.
I have always been very open about my choices, I don’t feel that I need to hide it as I keep myself as safe as I can etc.
He said and I quote....
Lol yeah don't get it. But no way do you love ***** yet. Especially deeply. So no guilt or whatever. Then it's just doing what you want. It only might change with a deep love of someone. But everyone to their own I suppose.
He then went on to say that you definitely can’t be truly in love with someone but have sex with someone else!
It’s really bothered me, more than i’d care to explain.
I’d like thoughts please?
I know many who have met here, had relationships, marriage and kids.
Why are Nilla’s so negative?
Thanks x "
To be honest even though we talked about playing with others as part of our fantasies when we 1st met. When it became clear Mr wants it to happen for real I did feel he must not love me enough if he wanted to play with/share me with others. Once I dipped my toes in the swingers world I realised it's nothing to do with lack of love. If anything it makes our love but each other even deeper. Take no notice of those who do not understand the lifestyle. Xxx |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
I'd question why the thoughts of an ex, that doesn't get or understand the lifestyle matter? If you're comfortable doing what you are doing and it doesn't impact him in any way that is the only thing that matters surely? |
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If you want to continue with this lifestyle he’s obviously the wrong guy for you ..
You’ll need someone who’ll swing with you and totally get the whole thing ..
Vanilla people simply cannot understand this x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd question why the thoughts of an ex, that doesn't get or understand the lifestyle matter? If you're comfortable doing what you are doing and it doesn't impact him in any way that is the only thing that matters surely?"
I wanted peoples opinions.
I needed to give a summary of details for those opinions.
In RL it’s flustered me.
He never came across as a prejudiced man until this evening. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"If you want to continue with this lifestyle he’s obviously the wrong guy for you ..
You’ll need someone who’ll swing with you and totally get the whole thing ..
Vanilla people simply cannot understand this x"
I’m not with him  |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"So a bit of background, I had a 4 month relationship with a vanilla guy when I moved here.
I was very open about my lifestyle but I didn’t play/stray whilst I was with him.
We’ve had a conversation this evening, I had a Fab play meet but i’m in a fab relationship too.
He doesn’t understand it, in fact he’s being very prejudiced about the lifestyle.
I have always been very open about my choices, I don’t feel that I need to hide it as I keep myself as safe as I can etc.
He said and I quote....
Lol yeah don't get it. But no way do you love ***** yet. Especially deeply. So no guilt or whatever. Then it's just doing what you want. It only might change with a deep love of someone. But everyone to their own I suppose.
He then went on to say that you definitely can’t be truly in love with someone but have sex with someone else!
It’s really bothered me, more than i’d care to explain.
I’d like thoughts please?
I know many who have met here, had relationships, marriage and kids.
Why are Nilla’s so negative?
Thanks x "
My mum feels the same, she says couples couldn't love each other if they play with others, I've tried to explain it but she just doesn't understand so ive given up trying to explain.
She just thinks I'm abit of a tart when I go out lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So a bit of background, I had a 4 month relationship with a vanilla guy when I moved here.
I was very open about my lifestyle but I didn’t play/stray whilst I was with him.
We’ve had a conversation this evening, I had a Fab play meet but i’m in a fab relationship too.
He doesn’t understand it, in fact he’s being very prejudiced about the lifestyle.
I have always been very open about my choices, I don’t feel that I need to hide it as I keep myself as safe as I can etc.
He said and I quote....
Lol yeah don't get it. But no way do you love ***** yet. Especially deeply. So no guilt or whatever. Then it's just doing what you want. It only might change with a deep love of someone. But everyone to their own I suppose.
He then went on to say that you definitely can’t be truly in love with someone but have sex with someone else!
It’s really bothered me, more than i’d care to explain.
I’d like thoughts please?
I know many who have met here, had relationships, marriage and kids.
Why are Nilla’s so negative?
Thanks x "
what is vanilla? life is life because you're on this website nothing has changed its a meeting point is all, love is love some people can love more than one person others cant |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Jealous and attempting to control your behaviour..sounds like a domestic abuse situation waiting to happen..."
No chance, I finished the relationship a couple of months ago but remained friends. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"So a bit of background, I had a 4 month relationship with a vanilla guy when I moved here.
I was very open about my lifestyle but I didn’t play/stray whilst I was with him.
We’ve had a conversation this evening, I had a Fab play meet but i’m in a fab relationship too.
He doesn’t understand it, in fact he’s being very prejudiced about the lifestyle.
I have always been very open about my choices, I don’t feel that I need to hide it as I keep myself as safe as I can etc.
He said and I quote....
Lol yeah don't get it. But no way do you love ***** yet. Especially deeply. So no guilt or whatever. Then it's just doing what you want. It only might change with a deep love of someone. But everyone to their own I suppose.
He then went on to say that you definitely can’t be truly in love with someone but have sex with someone else!
It’s really bothered me, more than i’d care to explain.
I’d like thoughts please?
I know many who have met here, had relationships, marriage and kids.
Why are Nilla’s so negative?
Thanks x what is vanilla? life is life because you're on this website nothing has changed its a meeting point is all, love is love some people can love more than one person others cant "
Vanilla as in the non-swinging world!
I don’t love all of my fab meets though, it’s jist NSA. That’s what most of us are here for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Sounds to me like he isn't for you. If you need clarification on here your worlds apart. ( just my opinion )
I’m not with him anymore.
"
Good for you.
We are all Individuals, we all know what we like and what we dont like, the hardest part is finding someone that relates to our own unique tastes. |
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"So a bit of background, I had a 4 month relationship with a vanilla guy when I moved here.
I was very open about my lifestyle but I didn’t play/stray whilst I was with him.
We’ve had a conversation this evening, I had a Fab play meet but i’m in a fab relationship too.
He doesn’t understand it, in fact he’s being very prejudiced about the lifestyle.
I have always been very open about my choices, I don’t feel that I need to hide it as I keep myself as safe as I can etc.
He said and I quote....
Lol yeah don't get it. But no way do you love ***** yet. Especially deeply. So no guilt or whatever. Then it's just doing what you want. It only might change with a deep love of someone. But everyone to their own I suppose.
He then went on to say that you definitely can’t be truly in love with someone but have sex with someone else!
It’s really bothered me, more than i’d care to explain.
I’d like thoughts please?
I know many who have met here, had relationships, marriage and kids.
Why are Nilla’s so negative?
Thanks x "
Maybe Im wrong but Im telling u from my own experience. I this kind of situation is all about u. U asked for a opinion and this is Ok but u will hear lot,s of opinions and u will get that point When u will be more confused.
U must listen first to you heart and let the brain analize that situation , and if u do something wrong at least u know is only your fault not X person or X person.
Don’t reach that moment When u will say- i should listen to my self and do it in my own way.
Wherever i wish u all the beat for u , for both of u. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"So a bit of background, I had a 4 month relationship with a vanilla guy when I moved here.
I was very open about my lifestyle but I didn’t play/stray whilst I was with him.
We’ve had a conversation this evening, I had a Fab play meet but i’m in a fab relationship too.
He doesn’t understand it, in fact he’s being very prejudiced about the lifestyle.
I have always been very open about my choices, I don’t feel that I need to hide it as I keep myself as safe as I can etc.
He said and I quote....
Lol yeah don't get it. But no way do you love ***** yet. Especially deeply. So no guilt or whatever. Then it's just doing what you want. It only might change with a deep love of someone. But everyone to their own I suppose.
He then went on to say that you definitely can’t be truly in love with someone but have sex with someone else!
It’s really bothered me, more than i’d care to explain.
I’d like thoughts please?
I know many who have met here, had relationships, marriage and kids.
Why are Nilla’s so negative?
Thanks x what is vanilla? life is life because you're on this website nothing has changed its a meeting point is all, love is love some people can love more than one person others cant
Vanilla as in the non-swinging world!
I don’t love all of my fab meets though, it’s jist NSA. That’s what most of us are here for."
not most of us, some of us  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Most if a person's characteristics are based on how they are nurtured. The kind of environment they had as a child. His friends, family, events which happened during childhood etc. After a point, even if he tries to change your mindset about something, it becomes too hard.
I have known many people who call themselves open minded, but still subconsciously behave like conservatives. I personally have some bias which I developed over my life which I find hard to drop. Your ex seems to be one who grew up with a monogamous relationship mindset right from the childhood reinforced in multiple ways. Maybe he had friends who would make fun of polygamy.
After growing up, he tried to fit into an open minded world. He dated you after knowing you are swinging. But still his subconscious bias kicked in. It is hard to get rid if the bias.
Whatever he told about how it was impossible to love someone and go to bed with another applies only to him. The concept of swinging is against the ideologies he developed during his life. But he is not mature enough to understand that people are different and there is a wide spectrum of approaches towards life and sex.
In the end, if he feels that way, good for him. He has all rights to be in a strictly monogamous relationship. And you have all rights to be in a swinging relationship. But both of you should not waste time judging each other. Live and let live
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most if a person's characteristics are based on how they are nurtured. The kind of environment they had as a child. His friends, family, events which happened during childhood etc. After a point, even if he tries to change your mindset about something, it becomes too hard.
I have known many people who call themselves open minded, but still subconsciously behave like conservatives. I personally have some bias which I developed over my life which I find hard to drop. Your ex seems to be one who grew up with a monogamous relationship mindset right from the childhood reinforced in multiple ways. Maybe he had friends who would make fun of polygamy.
After growing up, he tried to fit into an open minded world. He dated you after knowing you are swinging. But still his subconscious bias kicked in. It is hard to get rid if the bias.
Whatever he told about how it was impossible to love someone and go to bed with another applies only to him. The concept of swinging is against the ideologies he developed during his life. But he is not mature enough to understand that people are different and there is a wide spectrum of approaches towards life and sex.
In the end, if he feels that way, good for him. He has all rights to be in a strictly monogamous relationship. And you have all rights to be in a swinging relationship. But both of you should not waste time judging each other. Live and let live
"
Very well said. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Some people can and some people can't. It's the same with many opinions. Although you might try and get it you'll never truly understand unless it is your opinion. Sounds like you just have different opinions about love and sex. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him. "
You’ve drawn a shitload of conclusions based on very little info and quite negatively at that.
You know the quote “ we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
Yours say a lot about you and how you view things... |
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By *essie.Woman
over a year ago
Serendipity |
It’s not a lifestyle many understand. After all its not the norm in our society. Even within swinging there are those who judge others for choices they make. Just do what makes you happy. He is entitled to his views too, they aren’t wrong, they are just different. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him. "
I feel you may have read between the lines far too much.
I didn’t ‘fuck’ around with the ex because I respected he was vanilla, and I wanted to try a vanilla relationship. It ended due to other things.
I don’t love the latest guy, you’re right. Not yet anyway as it’s very new.
No chip about the vanilla world, I was in it for 30 odd years.
Merely asking what others in a similar situation think/feel.
Thanks for you input Mavis. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him.
You’ve drawn a shitload of conclusions based on very little info and quite negatively at that.
You know the quote “ we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
Yours say a lot about you and how you view things..."
Thank you kindly  |
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"Love and sex are different and you can have one without the other. Realising, appreciating and acting on that knowledge is what makes swinging. "
Exactly that. We love each other incredibly, and the fact we seeing together just makes things stronger with us because we know there is no chance of cheating (which seems to be why most vanilla people seem to split up) as we have those freedoms. The sex element with other people is on the same par for us as a good game of tennis... anyone for doubles?!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Most if a person's characteristics are based on how they are nurtured. The kind of environment they had as a child. His friends, family, events which happened during childhood etc. After a point, even if he tries to change your mindset about something, it becomes too hard.
I have known many people who call themselves open minded, but still subconsciously behave like conservatives. I personally have some bias which I developed over my life which I find hard to drop. Your ex seems to be one who grew up with a monogamous relationship mindset right from the childhood reinforced in multiple ways. Maybe he had friends who would make fun of polygamy.
After growing up, he tried to fit into an open minded world. He dated you after knowing you are swinging. But still his subconscious bias kicked in. It is hard to get rid if the bias.
Whatever he told about how it was impossible to love someone and go to bed with another applies only to him. The concept of swinging is against the ideologies he developed during his life. But he is not mature enough to understand that people are different and there is a wide spectrum of approaches towards life and sex.
In the end, if he feels that way, good for him. He has all rights to be in a strictly monogamous relationship. And you have all rights to be in a swinging relationship. But both of you should not waste time judging each other. Live and let live
"
A lot of what you say here resonates with him.
Difficulties as a child with his parents infidelity weigh heavily on his mind as does happenings in his own relationships.
Thanks for the thoughts x
|
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him.
You’ve drawn a shitload of conclusions based on very little info and quite negatively at that.
You know the quote “ we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
Yours say a lot about you and how you view things...
Thank you kindly "
Friendships and relationships are hard on a good day. From experience I’m of the opinion to therefore not continue with people that aren’t supportive of your life choices. Honesty is very important but judging something based on ignorance or due to a different view point is not ok. I don’t want people in my life that can’t accept me for who I am. This applies to everything not just swinging. People come into your life when required and sometimes once that is done you both move on... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him.
I feel you may have read between the lines far too much.
I didn’t ‘fuck’ around with the ex because I respected he was vanilla, and I wanted to try a vanilla relationship. It ended due to other things.
I don’t love the latest guy, you’re right. Not yet anyway as it’s very new.
No chip about the vanilla world, I was in it for 30 odd years.
Merely asking what others in a similar situation think/feel.
Thanks for you input Mavis."
You asked what people think from the information you gave. You have been negative and derogatory about your ex's feelings and also about vanilla people.
You seem to think Swingers are better than vanillas because they can fuck around with no love involved.
Your ex doesn't understand swinging, that's all. Some people don't.
I am just giving a different perspective. If you only want posts agreeing with you, you are not trying to understand different opinions.
'You wanted to try a vanilla relationship'. Perhaps your ex felt he was just an experiment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him.
You’ve drawn a shitload of conclusions based on very little info and quite negatively at that.
You know the quote “ we don’t see things as they are, we see them as we are”
Yours say a lot about you and how you view things...
Thank you kindly
Friendships and relationships are hard on a good day. From experience I’m of the opinion to therefore not continue with people that aren’t supportive of your life choices. Honesty is very important but judging something based on ignorance or due to a different view point is not ok. I don’t want people in my life that can’t accept me for who I am. This applies to everything not just swinging. People come into your life when required and sometimes once that is done you both move on... "
I agree.
But this works both ways. If Swingers don't want to be negatively judged they shouldn't negatively judge others ('vanillas'). |
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"Why are you bothered what your ex thinks? Why are you telling him about your current sex life?
Can't blame him for thinking how he does. You have a chip on your shoulder about 'vanillas'. You are inferring they are stupid for not understanding Swinging.
Perhaps his words have struck the truth and that's what has bothered you. You don't love the latest guy and you're just fucking around because he's not enough for you.
Your ex *was* enough, because you didn't fuck around when you were with him.
I feel you may have read between the lines far too much.
I didn’t ‘fuck’ around with the ex because I respected he was vanilla, and I wanted to try a vanilla relationship. It ended due to other things.
I don’t love the latest guy, you’re right. Not yet anyway as it’s very new.
No chip about the vanilla world, I was in it for 30 odd years.
Merely asking what others in a similar situation think/feel.
Thanks for you input Mavis.
You asked what people think from the information you gave. You have been negative and derogatory about your ex's feelings and also about vanilla people.
You seem to think Swingers are better than vanillas because they can fuck around with no love involved.
Your ex doesn't understand swinging, that's all. Some people don't.
I am just giving a different perspective. If you only want posts agreeing with you, you are not trying to understand different opinions.
'You wanted to try a vanilla relationship'. Perhaps your ex felt he was just an experiment. "
 |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"I'd question why the thoughts of an ex, that doesn't get or understand the lifestyle matter? If you're comfortable doing what you are doing and it doesn't impact him in any way that is the only thing that matters surely?
I wanted peoples opinions.
I needed to give a summary of details for those opinions.
In RL it’s flustered me.
He never came across as a prejudiced man until this evening. "
I think "prejudiced" is maybe taking it a bit far - he doesn't understand the lifestyle is all it really amounts to.
I'll be honest though and say that seeking the opinion of an ex, particularly a fairly recent one, who may still harbour feelings, probably wasn't a good move, as it's likely a biased opinion would be given.
Ultimately, as I said, if you're happy with what you do and how you do it - that is *all* that matters |
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
Why is it ignorance?
You have different opinions that is all - you either have to accept each other's different ideas on how life works or not.
If it's the latter then an enduring friendship might be difficult. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Why is it ignorance?
You have different opinions that is all - you either have to accept each other's different ideas on how life works or not.
If it's the latter then an enduring friendship might be difficult. "
He was of the thinking that swingers stil put their keys in a bowl etc and throughout our brief relationship I explained how the swinging world works.
I accept he has a different opinion but he has categorically said that i’m wrong in my choices. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"I'd question why the thoughts of an ex, that doesn't get or understand the lifestyle matter? If you're comfortable doing what you are doing and it doesn't impact him in any way that is the only thing that matters surely?
I wanted peoples opinions.
I needed to give a summary of details for those opinions.
In RL it’s flustered me.
He never came across as a prejudiced man until this evening.
I think "prejudiced" is maybe taking it a bit far - he doesn't understand the lifestyle is all it really amounts to.
I'll be honest though and say that seeking the opinion of an ex, particularly a fairly recent one, who may still harbour feelings, probably wasn't a good move, as it's likely a biased opinion would be given.
Ultimately, as I said, if you're happy with what you do and how you do it - that is *all* that matters "
I never sought his opinion, it was just given.
As a friend I told him I had a date, i’ve never felt like I can’t tell him things.
He is dating too and I support him and wish him well each time.
His reaction just sort of knocked me x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Why is it ignorance?
You have different opinions that is all - you either have to accept each other's different ideas on how life works or not.
If it's the latter then an enduring friendship might be difficult.
He was of the thinking that swingers stil put their keys in a bowl etc and throughout our brief relationship I explained how the swinging world works.
I accept he has a different opinion but he has categorically said that i’m wrong in my choices. "
Maybe he's jealous. He's an ex for a reason. As long as you're happy your choices aren't wrong. |
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"Why is it ignorance?
You have different opinions that is all - you either have to accept each other's different ideas on how life works or not.
If it's the latter then an enduring friendship might be difficult.
He was of the thinking that swingers stil put their keys in a bowl etc and throughout our brief relationship I explained how the swinging world works.
I accept he has a different opinion but he has categorically said that i’m wrong in my choices. "
It can bring you up a bit short when someone vehemently tells you you're wrong when you feel you're right. This is how you know you are right though, if after considering why they think you're wrong you're still of the same mind.
We never discuss swinging with anyone who doesn't do it we never justify ourselves either. They live their life, we live ours. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Why is it ignorance?
You have different opinions that is all - you either have to accept each other's different ideas on how life works or not.
If it's the latter then an enduring friendship might be difficult.
He was of the thinking that swingers stil put their keys in a bowl etc and throughout our brief relationship I explained how the swinging world works.
I accept he has a different opinion but he has categorically said that i’m wrong in my choices.
It can bring you up a bit short when someone vehemently tells you you're wrong when you feel you're right. This is how you know you are right though, if after considering why they think you're wrong you're still of the same mind.
We never discuss swinging with anyone who doesn't do it we never justify ourselves either. They live their life, we live ours."
I agree, although I have always been open about it, I think this experience has made me re-think that |
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its the way we are nurtured as we grow up the world shows us two people love each other they stay together they dont have sex with anyone but each other humans are adaptable species some like monogamy and some understand the difference between love and sex
sex is a intimate act between consenting people
love is a feeling of awe confusion laughter joy anxiety and many more of the human emotions vanilla people dont understand |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wouldn't say they're ignorant.
They just dont share our views.
Nothing ignorant about that.
This particular dude just doesn't understand you very well. I have vanilla friends, Male and female who understand my outlook, possibly because I'm pretty good at expressing and articulating it.
There are a few who assume I'm a kinky, selfish git who wants his cake and eats it.. when in reality my sexual kinks are relatively 'nilla and I need intimacy and tactility to feel comfy enough to fuck in the first place.
They're definitely not all ignorant by any stretch of the imagination though. Not in my experience. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"didnt mean it sound ignorant or judgemental it was a general summing up there examples i could use but that might open another debate im far from ignorant and judgemental "
I had no issues with your response sweet x |
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