FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Assault or not?
Assault or not?
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Spent a fun evening at a club last night and played with two stunning girls. One was quite physical, bit me during foreplay and scratched my back with her long false nails.
When two people have consensual sex at a club what do you think the limits are?
If I punched a girl and gave her a black eye ; I could reasonably expect to be charged with assault.
Do you think it’s acceptable for a swinging lady to scratch a guy’s back deliberately and leave marks?
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More fool you for not talking about boundaries before playing.
But I’d be pretty angry if anyone bites me or leaves marks on a play meet. These things are usually spoken about before hand, which is why I prefer to meet on a social before playing.
But when we have jumped straight in, if anyone starts to do anything I don’t like I usually ask them to stop at that point and tell them what I prefer that’s is different, it’s worked for me so far. But I can appreciate some people might feel awkward saying something, but in this game you have to speak up or you’re left with regrets (or unexplained scratch marks you have to explain to friends or the wife!!!) |
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Depends, did you discuss boundaries or when it started did you ask her to stop?
Some scratches are to give pain others are during the throes of orgasm and would be difficult to control.
Flip it around, as you are approaching orgasm and you thrust extra deep, hitting a painful point. Can she charge you with assault over what is involuntary.
Or you have sex with someone only to discover midway through they don't enjoy kissing. Can they charge you with sexual assault over that first kiss, or would a reasonable person expect that to be verbalised and asked to refrain from doing so later on.
A black eye is not common sexual practise and would be assault under almost all scenarios.
I think unless stated before hand certain activities are open to be explored.
But then equally I would expect in a new situation that nibbling should be gradually introduced.
I've had a few handjobs or blowjobs in a club where teeth or hands were overly rough. Its my responsibility to ask them to tone it down or stop.
People can't know your situation unless you tell them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No scratching a mans back isn't acceptable at all its the catalyst to him betting a real battering with a rolling pin by the wife when he gets home and she sees them. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If it was a man who had scratched a woman's back it would be assault.
If it happened to a man everyone just assumes he's married and deserves to be assaulted.
'Open minded swingers'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not comparable as an example but pain should be discussed as not everyone wants to be in pain. - Mrs ( obviously sometimes you accidentally hit someone with a knee and that’s different lol) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Unless the young lady in question happened to be a grizzly bear i don’t think biting and back scratching is comparable to a punch in the face!! Not to say that you’re wrong to feel a bit annoying but that comparison of outright violence is a bit alarming |
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By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
If a woman scratches you and you don't want it you move her hand away to signal and to prevent it . Likewise after being bitten. You don't always need to say anything out loud . |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"I don't really think you've given a comparable example "
Exactly; they both leave marks but bring back very different memories, emotions and consequences. And, like all sexual interactions NO means NO - unless a safe word has been agreed prior to the activities but even in such cases there is a method of stopping anything that you don't want to happen or to go any further. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No scratching a mans back isn't acceptable at all its the catalyst to him betting a real battering with a rolling pin by the wife when he gets home and she sees them. "
That's exactly what I thought when I read this thread too. My partner is married and I have to be very conscious not to mark him |
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Most Men like to be scratched. Unless they can’t accommodate and have a Wife to go home to, then they have to cover up for a week. Wife...”do you want a back massage?”... Husband... “not tonight I’m tired”  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When two people have consensual sex at a club what do you think the limits are?".
It's not about what we think the limits are but what you think and set. To compare a bit of rough play during consensual sex to common assault is pretty lame. YOU set the boundaries so don't blame others if they are uaware! |
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By *asmeenTV/TS
over a year ago
STOKE ON TRENT |
"Spent a fun evening at a club last night and played with two stunning girls. One was quite physical, bit me during foreplay and scratched my back with her long false nails.
When two people have consensual sex at a club what do you think the limits are?
If I punched a girl and gave her a black eye ; I could reasonably expect to be charged with assault.
Do you think it’s acceptable for a swinging lady to scratch a guy’s back deliberately and leave marks?
"
I don't believe this also if it did happen why didn't you stop or confront her???? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More fool you for not talking about boundaries before playing.
But I’d be pretty angry if anyone bites me or leaves marks on a play meet. These things are usually spoken about before hand, which is why I prefer to meet on a social before playing.
But when we have jumped straight in, if anyone starts to do anything I don’t like I usually ask them to stop at that point and tell them what I prefer that’s is different, it’s worked for me so far. But I can appreciate some people might feel awkward saying something, but in this game you have to speak up or you’re left with regrets (or unexplained scratch marks you have to explain to friends or the wife!!!) "
Absolutely ridiculous.
More fool him for not setting boundaries?
So it's fine if a guy just starts having anal with a woman at a club without it being pre discussed? Fool her for not disclosing anal is a no.
That mentality is toxic towards males in the swinging community. Women are far more hands on in our experience at clubs. With or without consent. And it's just looked over because they're 'the desirable one's'.
It costs nothing to check what someone is comfortable with in the moment.
On another note OP this game does in fact require the confidence to speak up to avoid upset or hurt. I would seriously recommend pre discussing boundaries to avoid this situation in the future. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hi guys.
The legals are,
Implied consent. In law no-one can consent to gbh. So if the play caused serious injury whether the victim consented isn't a consideration.
However minor injuries as part of a game is different. If your partner smacked your butt s/he has implied consent. If you are getting intimate again the consent is implied until you say no and negate the implied consent.
I suppose in short it's like this
You don't have to say yes to make it happen. You do have to say no to make it stop.
Hope this helps |
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
"Hi guys.
The legals are,
Implied consent. In law no-one can consent to gbh. So if the play caused serious injury whether the victim consented isn't a consideration.
However minor injuries as part of a game is different. If your partner smacked your butt s/he has implied consent. If you are getting intimate again the consent is implied until you say no and negate the implied consent.
I suppose in short it's like this
You don't have to say yes to make it happen. You do have to say no to make it stop.
Hope this helps "
If I am having sex with someone, I do not agree there is implied consent for them to be able to smack my bum. I feel there would be consent for them to touch my breasts, and bum, so long as I have not said anything different, but I don't see how there is any implied consent for them to hit any part of my body. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys.
The legals are,
Implied consent. In law no-one can consent to gbh. So if the play caused serious injury whether the victim consented isn't a consideration.
However minor injuries as part of a game is different. If your partner smacked your butt s/he has implied consent. If you are getting intimate again the consent is implied until you say no and negate the implied consent.
I suppose in short it's like this
You don't have to say yes to make it happen. You do have to say no to make it stop.
Hope this helps "
Oh cool so I can slap someone until they say no. Great. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"More fool you for not talking about boundaries before playing.
But I’d be pretty angry if anyone bites me or leaves marks on a play meet. These things are usually spoken about before hand, which is why I prefer to meet on a social before playing.
But when we have jumped straight in, if anyone starts to do anything I don’t like I usually ask them to stop at that point and tell them what I prefer that’s is different, it’s worked for me so far. But I can appreciate some people might feel awkward saying something, but in this game you have to speak up or you’re left with regrets (or unexplained scratch marks you have to explain to friends or the wife!!!)
Absolutely ridiculous.
More fool him for not setting boundaries?
So it's fine if a guy just starts having anal with a woman at a club without it being pre discussed? Fool her for not disclosing anal is a no.
That mentality is toxic towards males in the swinging community. Women are far more hands on in our experience at clubs. With or without consent. And it's just looked over because they're 'the desirable one's'.
It costs nothing to check what someone is comfortable with in the moment.
On another note OP this game does in fact require the confidence to speak up to avoid upset or hurt. I would seriously recommend pre discussing boundaries to avoid this situation in the future."
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Ailsa and I have discussed this back and forth for a long time. Sexual politics between consenting adults is significantly ambiguous. It will always be so, because all people are different, and everyone has different boundaries.
It is true that some women feel they can do whatever they like to a man, just as some men have no idea that slapping a lady’s ass could be considered assault.
The growing trend of casual abuse in porn is perhaps giving people the wrong idea about consensual sex. What’s often missing in these discussions is the nature of ‘intent’. I might slap your ass during sex. You might consider that assault. But my Intention would be to increase your pleasure. I believe this because a 1000 porn movies, web searches and discussion forums have told me how much a lady likes it. Such practices, so many sexual practices, are becoming normalised to the point where it is Assumed everybody likes it.
What’s missing here is communication. Quick casual hook-ups don’t allow for in-depth discussion of boundaries, so communication needs to occur during the liaison. But it’s still communication. Everything to do with relationships between lovers - physical, emotional, casual, serious - is better served by clear communication.
For us, we talk to the people we play with a lot. Getting to know someone is seductive to us, and we enjoy it, but it means the people we play with are close to friends, and everyone feels comfortable about saying no. Clear communication is the responsibility of ALL people involved.
I wouldn’t be too quick to accuse someone of assault, when it’s more than likely the person assumed what they were doing was erotic. But equally, it is your responsibility to communicate that such behaviour is not acceptable to you. It might be to the next person, but it isn’t to you.
Let’s all just talk a lot more, open, honest communication, and then everyone will enjoy their experiences. |
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Although consent in general is quite easy to gauge in a club environment, consent for every individual act or touch is not so easy. Simply we may want to play with someone but not do a specific act with them. This is especially a difficult aspect when playing with strangers. Now clearly most people don't want to sit round the table and go through a tick list of all the do's and don'ts before hand. So naturally there will occasionally be a misunderstanding or two in this environment. Misunderstanding that are genuine, honest and done with good intentions towards to other person do happen. People with all good intentions sometimes get carried away assuming a stranger will enjoy something (maybe even something that to that point has never not been enjoyed with anyone else). But we are all different. That's why I'd say with every new act you need to dip your toe in gently to gauge consent for that act before diving in (especially with strangers). I think most people know the difference between a genuine misunderstanding made with good intentions and assault. All what I have said above applies to all genders in my opinion.
As for this specific case I'd say maybe the other person has failed to check properly you were ok with this act by going into it like a bull in a China shop. Now I suspect they have done this with all good intentions, maybe everyone before you has really enjoyed it. I think their failure to check properly that this was ok before going strongly into is real bad form and reckless. If their intentions were genuine and good then they really need to evaluate how they go about things and remember that general consent to play is not consent to do every act without checking. But whether you'd would in all integrity class it as assault per se is another question? I suspect really you had to be there to get a true feel for what went on and the true intentions at play. |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"Spent a fun evening at a club last night and played with two stunning girls. One was quite physical, bit me during foreplay and scratched my back with her long false nails.
When two people have consensual sex at a club what do you think the limits are?
If I punched a girl and gave her a black eye ; I could reasonably expect to be charged with assault.
Do you think it’s acceptable for a swinging lady to scratch a guy’s back deliberately and leave marks?
"
They will heal, and you should have made your boundaries clear. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hi guys.
The legals are,
Implied consent. In law no-one can consent to gbh. So if the play caused serious injury whether the victim consented isn't a consideration.
However minor injuries as part of a game is different. If your partner smacked your butt s/he has implied consent. If you are getting intimate again the consent is implied until you say no and negate the implied consent.
I suppose in short it's like this
You don't have to say yes to make it happen. You do have to say no to make it stop.
Hope this helps
If I am having sex with someone, I do not agree there is implied consent for them to be able to smack my bum. I feel there would be consent for them to touch my breasts, and bum, so long as I have not said anything different, but I don't see how there is any implied consent for them to hit any part of my body."
This.
Implied consent is for the majority of sex acts. Not sexual aggression or violence. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
Did you leap up and tell her you were calling the police, or did you finish? Given that she bit you during foreplay and you continued regardless, I'm guessing you didn't actually feel assaulted at the time. If someone punched you in the face you wouldn't carry on fucking them would you? |
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By *rufinWoman
over a year ago
notts |
What on earth made your 'go to' example of similar behaviour from you 'a punch' and 'a black eye'???? Wtf.
Let me fix that for you...if you scratched a woman during sex ...do you think you would be charged with assault? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Spent a fun evening at a club last night and played with two stunning girls. One was quite physical, bit me during foreplay and scratched my back with her long false nails.
When two people have consensual sex at a club what do you think the limits are?
If I punched a girl and gave her a black eye ; I could reasonably expect to be charged with assault.
Do you think it’s acceptable for a swinging lady to scratch a guy’s back deliberately and leave marks?
"
yes i do dont be a woossss take it on chin  |
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By *ara JTV/TS
over a year ago
Bristol East |
Did you communicate your displeasure to her? How did she react.
Sure, it is a passionate or even aggressive response to sexual arousal.
But to compare it with giving someone a black eye - an action indicative of rage - is just silly. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"If I was being cynical I'd say it was one of those oh, look everyone, women can be sex offenders too threads. If you know what I mean?
"
I hate this whole men vs women vibe that seems to be going around at the moment. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If I was being cynical I'd say it was one of those oh, look everyone, women can be sex offenders too threads. If you know what I mean?
I hate this whole men vs women vibe that seems to be going around at the moment. "
Shit ain't it.
Men can be twats, women can be twats. People in general can be twats.
Yes there are some traits that men seem to have more than women and vice versa but to pull everything back to men vs women is draining.
Back to the question.
I wouldn't consider it assault. I'd consider it piss poor communication between BOTH of you.
P |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know lots who do like being scratched or bitten during the most passionate sex. I'm one of them, but I can give as good as I get biting wise at least, if a lady enjoys such indulgences?
Myself and P often marvel at what each other's teeth can do... Animalistic buggers we can be! 
However I don't know anyone who enjoys receiving a good punch in the face at those moments.
B |
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Very interesting replies thank you. Some very considered - others less so. For the record, I’ve had many partners as my verifications testify and this has never been an issue before.
My skin was broken, the scratches are deep cuts, caused bleeding and I’m worried will produce scarring.
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"Spent a fun evening at a club last night and played with two stunning girls. One was quite physical, bit me during foreplay and scratched my back with her long false nails.
When two people have consensual sex at a club what do you think the limits are?
If I punched a girl and gave her a black eye ; I could reasonably expect to be charged with assault.
Do you think it’s acceptable for a swinging lady to scratch a guy’s back deliberately and leave marks?
"
I bet the wife will be furious? If you're married that is. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From a police point of view (anonymous albeit)
If you have something done to you that you do not want to be done to you, causes you harm or distress, whether you tell the other person at the time or after is irrelevant
It is known that persons being subjected to harm, fear, pain etc will not always make it clear that they do not feel comfortable during or after. Often due to fear.
People should be extremely careful when talking about this subject matter, as the circumstances and outcomes are infinitive.
Every woman and man accusing another should be taken within those individual circumstances. Two events can never be compared.
I'm very aware of false r@pe claims and and false sexual assault claims, however, conversations such like this, I don't feel are helpful.
This is my own opinion.
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"Very interesting replies thank you. Some very considered - others less so. For the record, I’ve had many partners as my verifications testify and this has never been an issue before.
My skin was broken, the scratches are deep cuts, caused bleeding and I’m worried will produce scarring.
"
To be fair, that's not just scratching on the moment, that is full on assault. |
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By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"Very interesting replies thank you. Some very considered - others less so. For the record, I’ve had many partners as my verifications testify and this has never been an issue before.
My skin was broken, the scratches are deep cuts, caused bleeding and I’m worried will produce scarring.
"
So you stopped fucking her immediately and went to the police then? What did they say? |
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By *rufinWoman
over a year ago
notts |
"Very interesting replies thank you. Some very considered - others less so. For the record, I’ve had many partners as my verifications testify and this has never been an issue before.
My skin was broken, the scratches are deep cuts, caused bleeding and I’m worried will produce scarring.
"
Still think your comparison with punching someone in the face is a valid one, do you? I refuse to engage in any discussion on scratching with someone who thinks a punch to the face is an equivalent act.
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"Most Men like to be scratched. Unless they can’t accommodate and have a Wife to go home to, then they have to cover up for a week. Wife...”do you want a back massage?”... Husband... “not tonight I’m tired” "
Thats exactly what I thought! The wife bit. I'm personally not a scratcher. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably viewed as consensual, the biting and back scratching.
However, unless the female consented to you punching her, which I doubt she would then it's assault. |
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"Very interesting replies thank you. Some very considered - others less so. For the record, I’ve had many partners as my verifications testify and this has never been an issue before.
My skin was broken, the scratches are deep cuts, caused bleeding and I’m worried will produce scarring.
"
So what are you going to do OP? |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
If you don't stop it then you have to consider it consensual. If after the first time the nails dug into you back you said don't do that then it could be classed as assault.
Having played frequently with a lady who scratched my back when she was in the throes of passion I found it a turn on, although Alexis did on one occasion tell her not to damage the goods and return me as she found me |
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Op you do have a point ..
Although if you were more experienced then you’d of discussed this before playing..
But you’re analogy of punching a lady does not compare..
Striking a lady would never cross a gentleman’s mind ..
For some ladies scratching and biting is part of sex .. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Do you think it’s acceptable for a swinging lady to scratch a guy’s back deliberately and leave marks?
If you didn't like it, why didn't you immediately tell her to stop ?"
I can't help but wonder the same that was the time to put a stop to it. |
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"
Do you think it’s acceptable for a swinging lady to scratch a guy’s back deliberately and leave marks?
If you didn't like it, why didn't you immediately tell her to stop ?
I can't help but wonder the same that was the time to put a stop to it. "
It’s easier to say “ can you stop that please “ than typing a message on a forum days later lol
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
I'm very much in to impact play so to me to leave with marks and bruises after play is a given. But again I would consent to this first and wouldn't expect some random stranger to walk up and hit me with a cane!
I agree you should set boundaries before play and if something happens you're not comfortable with you should stop and address it.
My friend scratches and bites people during the moment. She'll tell you often she doesnt even realise she's done it in the heat of the moment! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew."
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say "
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It depends on the situation, it if were me i would have said as soin as she started to stop, i dont like marks because i dont like pain and i detest because im not 13 and i dont need tagging as sexual property. It can also be quite embarrassing in the gym changing room for example. I wouldnt enjoy getting changed at the gym looking like id been felt up by the local banshee. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity. "
Alot of people assume that people dont want marks to hide infidelity and never consider the implications of the marks in general day to day living. Getting changed at the gym with those marks for example or people like me. I work as a mechanic and recovery driver and especially this time of year i have one tshirt to drive in which stays in the truck and one to work in which is normally wet, dirty and covered in oil. Imagine the implications of changing a tshirt covered in hickies and scratch marks in front of a customer and their 3 small children.
Women have private lives outside and that's ok but if a man does its because its cheating. In 2019 we entitled to equal rights without predjudice or question |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity.
Alot of people assume that people dont want marks to hide infidelity and never consider the implications of the marks in general day to day living. Getting changed at the gym with those marks for example or people like me. I work as a mechanic and recovery driver and especially this time of year i have one tshirt to drive in which stays in the truck and one to work in which is normally wet, dirty and covered in oil. Imagine the implications of changing a tshirt covered in hickies and scratch marks in front of a customer and their 3 small children.
Women have private lives outside and that's ok but if a man does its because its cheating. In 2019 we entitled to equal rights without predjudice or question"
I never implied the reason the OP wasn't okay with scratching was due to a relationship outside of swinging. I have been defending him and saying what he suffered was assault and unacceptable. My reference to infidelity was to a different person who believes the OP should man up.
On their profile they openly state they are being unfaithful and my point was he wouldn't just 'man up ' if he was scarred from an encounter at a swinging club because he would likely lose his other half. Therefore he should be more considerate to others and their circumstances. Glass houses etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity.
Alot of people assume that people dont want marks to hide infidelity and never consider the implications of the marks in general day to day living. Getting changed at the gym with those marks for example or people like me. I work as a mechanic and recovery driver and especially this time of year i have one tshirt to drive in which stays in the truck and one to work in which is normally wet, dirty and covered in oil. Imagine the implications of changing a tshirt covered in hickies and scratch marks in front of a customer and their 3 small children.
Women have private lives outside and that's ok but if a man does its because its cheating. In 2019 we entitled to equal rights without predjudice or question"
lol its a few scratch marks in the heat of passion  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity.
Alot of people assume that people dont want marks to hide infidelity and never consider the implications of the marks in general day to day living. Getting changed at the gym with those marks for example or people like me. I work as a mechanic and recovery driver and especially this time of year i have one tshirt to drive in which stays in the truck and one to work in which is normally wet, dirty and covered in oil. Imagine the implications of changing a tshirt covered in hickies and scratch marks in front of a customer and their 3 small children.
Women have private lives outside and that's ok but if a man does its because its cheating. In 2019 we entitled to equal rights without predjudice or question
I never implied the reason the OP wasn't okay with scratching was due to a relationship outside of swinging. I have been defending him and saying what he suffered was assault and unacceptable. My reference to infidelity was to a different person who believes the OP should man up.
On their profile they openly state they are being unfaithful and my point was he wouldn't just 'man up ' if he was scarred from an encounter at a swinging club because he would likely lose his other half. Therefore he should be more considerate to others and their circumstances. Glass houses etc. "
In which case i apologise because i read the post wrong |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity.
Alot of people assume that people dont want marks to hide infidelity and never consider the implications of the marks in general day to day living. Getting changed at the gym with those marks for example or people like me. I work as a mechanic and recovery driver and especially this time of year i have one tshirt to drive in which stays in the truck and one to work in which is normally wet, dirty and covered in oil. Imagine the implications of changing a tshirt covered in hickies and scratch marks in front of a customer and their 3 small children.
Women have private lives outside and that's ok but if a man does its because its cheating. In 2019 we entitled to equal rights without predjudice or questionlol its a few scratch marks in the heat of passion "
No it isn't. It has caused bleeding and possible scarring OP has said. How would you all react if a man did that to a woman? There would be uproar. Absolute sexism and not surprisingly the most sexist views towards males are coming from other men. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity.
Alot of people assume that people dont want marks to hide infidelity and never consider the implications of the marks in general day to day living. Getting changed at the gym with those marks for example or people like me. I work as a mechanic and recovery driver and especially this time of year i have one tshirt to drive in which stays in the truck and one to work in which is normally wet, dirty and covered in oil. Imagine the implications of changing a tshirt covered in hickies and scratch marks in front of a customer and their 3 small children.
Women have private lives outside and that's ok but if a man does its because its cheating. In 2019 we entitled to equal rights without predjudice or questionlol its a few scratch marks in the heat of passion "
Its not just a few scratch marks in the heat of passion, under british law its assault. More to the point if that were me it would affect my private life and lose me money as i wouldnt be working for 6 weeks |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Man up for fuck sake
Perfect example of toxic mentality towards males.
Ew.
Um no it’s not. Because in this case it’s a perfectly reasonable thing to say
Really isn't. Pretty sure you wouldn't be impressed going home to your partner with your back scratched and bleeding. Would make it somewhat harder to hide you infidelity.
Alot of people assume that people dont want marks to hide infidelity and never consider the implications of the marks in general day to day living. Getting changed at the gym with those marks for example or people like me. I work as a mechanic and recovery driver and especially this time of year i have one tshirt to drive in which stays in the truck and one to work in which is normally wet, dirty and covered in oil. Imagine the implications of changing a tshirt covered in hickies and scratch marks in front of a customer and their 3 small children.
Women have private lives outside and that's ok but if a man does its because its cheating. In 2019 we entitled to equal rights without predjudice or question
I never implied the reason the OP wasn't okay with scratching was due to a relationship outside of swinging. I have been defending him and saying what he suffered was assault and unacceptable. My reference to infidelity was to a different person who believes the OP should man up.
On their profile they openly state they are being unfaithful and my point was he wouldn't just 'man up ' if he was scarred from an encounter at a swinging club because he would likely lose his other half. Therefore he should be more considerate to others and their circumstances. Glass houses etc. "
lol |
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That's the way I've always seen it.
Of course, if you have to explain the marks to someone 