FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Ask all for Consent or is it acceptable to not?
Ask all for Consent or is it acceptable to not?
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I know it's an age old topic but it's becoming more and more prevalent.
Particularly as there are a lot of people going into swinging events that are not swingers/experienced swingers attend a club or host a party and expect it to be a brothel/free for all even sometimes when they attend a club maybe.
The incident, scenario/situation.
You have two Gentlemen who has been chatting flirting with a young Lady for a couple of hours and decide to take things further into a communal play area upstairs.
The three (1F2M) are enjoying each other’s company playing etc,then the host of the party (Male) and who is known to the young lady (Just a new known friend) who was not his partner comes towards the bed gets his penis out waves about a little in face of one of the gentleman playing who is sitting at the side of the lady while she is laying on her back on the bed while the other male is penetrating her, then the male host shoves penis down the young Ladies throat.
Acceptable? No consent required?
I personally feel very strong and outraged no matter who is playing and or if someone knows person/s, especially if play has commenced surely Any/Every person should ask for the consent to join in... Male or Female, Partner, Husband, Wife, Friend whoever... and just because he the male host of a male/female couple and the young Lady known to him/each other is totally unacceptable for him to do what he done.
I have numbered answer 1-5 but please answer as you wish and apply no6
1. Should the host (male) just be permitted and decide allowed to join in and ask no one as he knows the young Lady and because hes the hosts, its totally acceptable to shove the penis down the young Ladies throat as they know each other?
2. Surely to educate all and what is acceptable behaviour and due to the world we live in now with equal rights and manners, the host should ask ALL concerned if it is ok to join in irrespective if he knows the young lady only.
3. Is this acceptable? answer no 3. if yes as she knows the host, but no consent has to be made to the two gentlemen who originally initiated to take play upstairs.?
4. Should she or is it acceptable for her to just accept the penis shoved down her throat after waved in front of one the males and accept no question asked?
5. Should consent and common manners be respected to all no matter what, and the host should ask All in room playing, and say may he or is it ok for me to join in people and wait for the reply from all to consent?
6. Your view please write!
Thank you in advance x  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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being flippant, by the time all the paperwork was done, there would be no time for play,on a serious note, its up to everyone or thier partner to set the rules,rely on sombody else then you are asking for trouble |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Scenario A is a common occurrence at private hosted parties hence why, along with other reasons we would not attend yours or anyone else’s private parties unless we knew the hosts |
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I think most people can genuinly gauge when something is consensual or not in the club environment. Not all consent is verbal but its often clear when someone is happy or not. And if course you never go charging in, you test the waters gently and ascertain consent first, even if not verbal. Clearly occasionally there may be a misunderstanding even if its just an aspect of consent denied for one aspect or act rather than consent to play as a whole. But that is why you must always ascertain consent and tread carefully for every new aspect/action untill your 100% that's ok. It's not about written contracts or declarations, just respect, common sense and simply checking in with everyone now and then. Checking consent in a smooth and natural way and reading people is a skill that gets better with experience on the scene. And of course if in doubt either don't or check (even if you just have to ask directly).
Of course you have to watch out for the arseholes out there who will just get stuck in even when they know deep down they don't have cosent. Then claim they honestly didn't know they didn't have consent to join in or do a particular thing. |
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"I think most people can genuinly gauge when something is consensual or not in the club environment. Not all consent is verbal but its often clear when someone is happy or not. And if course you never go charging in, you test the waters gently and ascertain consent first, even if not verbal. Clearly occasionally there may be a misunderstanding even if its just an aspect of consent denied for one aspect or act rather than consent to play as a whole. But that is why you must always ascertain consent and tread carefully for every new aspect/action untill your 100% that's ok. It's not about written contracts or declarations, just respect, common sense and simply checking in with everyone now and then. Checking consent in a smooth and natural way and reading people is a skill that gets better with experience on the scene. And of course if in doubt either don't or check (even if you just have to ask directly).
Of course you have to watch out for the arseholes out there who will just get stuck in even when they know deep down they don't have cosent. Then claim they honestly didn't know they didn't have consent to join in or do a particular thing."
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
Maybe the woman had a previous agreement with the host and that was their 'thing'? I'm fairly sure shewould have objected if she felt it was non consensual. I get the feeling you were possibly the man sitting at the side of the lady and was put out that someone got in there before you? Just a hunch I've got. |
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It's easy to jump to outrage.
But not all communication is verbal. As has been said she could have given a look that she wanted a further partner which you may have missed.
He could have been an ass just shoving his cock were it was not wanted, but on the limited times this has happened in our presence most have been told to clear off.
I recall an occasion were we were having fun with a couple in a room, two single guys came in the room sat on the side wanking. Then a few minutes later my wife was sucking one of them off in a positive way. No communication passed but it would been wrong for me to stop this with an assumption that my wife was being coerced or forced.
Equally this has happened on other occasions and she has told the guy that she was not interested.
If I observed what looked like a sexual assault I would have no issue even if I was not involved in asking if everyone was OK.
But you have to judge whether the person looks to be in a vulnerable position or able to voice their own objections if they wanted to. |
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