FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Guys pestering in clubs
Guys pestering in clubs
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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What’s everyone’s way of dealing with this? We had to be quite abrupt recently for someone to get the message, just wondering what other people’s technique is for dealing with unwanted attention. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how bad they behave but always tell the management of its bad.
It’s a reason many couples don’t go to clubs so in the end everyone suffers!"
 If people don't tell the club staff they can't help.
Although some clubs don't do anything about aggressive men because they like the income from the men. ££££
Just politely say no thank you.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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lets be clear also there are women in clubs that pester too gropeing without asking or pissed up and not taking no as an answer oh and plenty of couples too who think they are above rules |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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We found back when we started single guy would police themselves. If one guy misbehaves then everyone loses out. We’ve seen guys be ejected by other single guys in the past. This one incident was several polite “no thank you” from Jayne followed but a not so polite “will you f**k off!” From Dave  |
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"lets be clear also there are women in clubs that pester too gropeing without asking or pissed up and not taking no as an answer oh and plenty of couples too who think they are above rules"
They don't generally follow in groups of a dozen or so though... |
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"Depends how bad they behave but always tell the management of its bad.
It’s a reason many couples don’t go to clubs so in the end everyone suffers!"
How about going on a night when single men are not allowed in? |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"lets be clear also there are women in clubs that pester too gropeing without asking or pissed up and not taking no as an answer oh and plenty of couples too who think they are above rules"
Agreed, I think most single men are better behaved than some couples. |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"lets be clear also there are women in clubs that pester too gropeing without asking or pissed up and not taking no as an answer oh and plenty of couples too who think they are above rules
They don't generally follow in groups of a dozen or so though..."
I've never seen 12 or so men following anyone. |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
In my experience that kind of behaviour can come from any gender but I would say to choose a club who take pride in customer experience and inform someone in the position to ensure your safety and comfort whilst at the club.
Regardless of how diligent people are there’s also those who are just as skilled at deception so no matter where you go they’ll always be a chance you’ll come across it, although a bit of research into suitable establishments will limit the chances. Ultimately though just say no, you need only say it one time and after that seek support from staff. Staff and customers alike both have a responsibility to uphold a certain standard of behaviour and it applies to ALL. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s everyone’s way of dealing with this? We had to be quite abrupt recently for someone to get the message, just wondering what other people’s technique is for dealing with unwanted attention. "
Looked at your pics.
I challenge J to a game of pool. I reckon I could take her. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The only problems I have encountered is with the male half of couples rather than single males. In general single males know the score in clubs and although they like to watch most are fairly respectable. Its the male half of couples who think they deserve something as the female half is getting plenty of fun and feels they are entitled to something. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how bad they behave but always tell the management of its bad.
It’s a reason many couples don’t go to clubs so in the end everyone suffers!
How about going on a night when single men are not allowed in?"
Victim blaming ffs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like singles they know the rules....i can get a bit unruly at times 
I'm aware of that .....il try harder!
Mrs K
Most places have sufficient features to resolve that!"
Yea you will often find me strapped to an object being punished ha ha |
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Having been swinging for a year or 3 lol, we have had a few incidents in clubs. We always try our polight thanks but no. If they then push or cross the line tell staff.
Although it's only twice we've had tell staff, one guy was off his face on drugs, very very rare only come across this once in all our years. The other guy would not accept no.
Our personal exspriance of great clubs dealing with out of line people are:-
Temptations, Bournemouth.
Angels, Melksham
The old Ab Fabs.
Libertines, Bournemouth.
The Attic, Darby = Ron stands for no noscence! Won't even let them in if he thinks they are gonna be trouble.
We've nerver had problems with couples or single ladies. |
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"Depends how bad they behave but always tell the management of its bad.
It’s a reason many couples don’t go to clubs so in the end everyone suffers!
How about going on a night when single men are not allowed in?
Victim blaming ffs"
Not victim blaming at all!?
An alternative to go on couples and single ladies only night rather than not go at all. |
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Being a fairly big man and not shy, I had to be assertive with another gentleman in a club one evening, a polite, get to fuck mate did it.
As the night progressed this same arse seemed determined to annoy every couple there until some brave soul pushed him into the pool 
Oh, how he complained that his phone and money were wet while the entire club laughed. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Depends how bad they behave but always tell the management of its bad.
It’s a reason many couples don’t go to clubs so in the end everyone suffers!
How about going on a night when single men are not allowed in?
Victim blaming ffs
Not victim blaming at all!?
An alternative to go on couples and single ladies only night rather than not go at all."
The problem is we do play with respectful, clean gentleman, just not pushy dirty old men. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Clubs sound like a nightmare "
No at all. We’ve probably had around 30/40 club visits in 8 years and only ever had 2 issues. Most guys are happy to accept a polite “no thanks” |
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"Clubs sound like a nightmare "
Definitely not a nightmare!
Great night out, meet friends, chat, drink, dance, maybe play if you meet the right people.
Don't let a few isolated incidents put you off. |
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I have never found single guys anything but polite. I expect them to approach me and if they are not for me a simple no thanks with a warm smile has never been greeted with anything but good manners xxxx  |
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"We found back when we started single guy would police themselves. If one guy misbehaves then everyone loses out. We’ve seen guys be ejected by other single guys in the past. This one incident was several polite “no thank you” from Jayne followed but a not so polite “will you f**k off!” From Dave "
Why not skip the first bit, go straight to the second. It seems to work so well. |
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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago
Filthy Fuckeryville |
"What’s everyone’s way of dealing with this? We had to be quite abrupt recently for someone to get the message, just wondering what other people’s technique is for dealing with unwanted attention. "
From your veris I can see which club you are talking about and what I will say is I know the owners well and if you'd spoken to them it would have been sorted post haste.
However I do appreciate that mid - bonk that is not ideal  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"What’s everyone’s way of dealing with this? We had to be quite abrupt recently for someone to get the message, just wondering what other people’s technique is for dealing with unwanted attention.
From your veris I can see which club you are talking about and what I will say is I know the owners well and if you'd spoken to them it would have been sorted post haste.
However I do appreciate that mid - bonk that is not ideal "
It wasn’t the club from our verifications |
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We rarely have problems with single guys, or ladies.
Most are respectful or accept a simple no thanks or similar.
On the rare occasions I have needed to be more blunt, they have backed off swiftly.
If you aren't looking for single guys, you would be best to attend a club on a couples only night.
Nita |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"We rarely have problems with single guys, or ladies.
Most are respectful or accept a simple no thanks or similar.
On the rare occasions I have needed to be more blunt, they have backed off swiftly.
If you aren't looking for single guys, you would be best to attend a club on a couples only night.
Nita"
We do play with select single guys but some think because we’re playing with one or two single guys it’s a free for all. We would expect a polite “no thank you” to be respected. 99% of the time it it but this one occasion it took a little more than that. Some people’s “no thank you’d” aren’t polite at all so I was wondering what everyone’s way of dealing with unwanted attention was |
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Clubs aren't that bad or the well run ones aren't you can get more hassle in a pub or on a tram in reality. The Majority of people in clubs are ok you will get the odd frustrated single man but not many like some have said the male half of a couple can be the most problematic element but thats rare too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Depends how bad they behave but always tell the management of its bad.
It’s a reason many couples don’t go to clubs so in the end everyone suffers!
How about going on a night when single men are not allowed in?"
That's a great idea so all of||
the woman and couples if you have been pestered just go to the nights that single men can't get into.
So what is left?
A 100% sausage fest ? |
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"Depends how bad they behave but always tell the management of its bad.
It’s a reason many couples don’t go to clubs so in the end everyone suffers!
How about going on a night when single men are not allowed in?
That's a great idea so all of||
the woman and couples if you have been pestered just go to the nights that single men can't get into.
So what is left?
A 100% sausage fest ? "
It does make a lot of us lean towards couples only nights, we’ve heard guys rating couples and women that’s as bad as pestering. |
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"We rarely have problems with single guys, or ladies.
Most are respectful or accept a simple no thanks or similar.
On the rare occasions I have needed to be more blunt, they have backed off swiftly.
If you aren't looking for single guys, you would be best to attend a club on a couples only night.
Nita
We do play with select single guys but some think because we’re playing with one or two single guys it’s a free for all. We would expect a polite “no thank you” to be respected. 99% of the time it it but this one occasion it took a little more than that. Some people’s “no thank you’d” aren’t polite at all so I was wondering what everyone’s way of dealing with unwanted attention was "
In that case, maybe try different clubs.
Theres is only one club where we have found single guys to be consistently more of an issue than anywhere else.
If it isn't too far to go, La Chambre is opening again soon and we have never had an issue with single guys there. Problem visitors are dealt with swiftly and efficiently. I would also reccomend The Attic and Cupids.
Nita |
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"What’s everyone’s way of dealing with this? We had to be quite abrupt recently for someone to get the message, just wondering what other people’s technique is for dealing with unwanted attention. "
Never been pestered. So not an issue. |
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