FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Are we asking too much from single guys?
Are we asking too much from single guys?
Jump to: Newest in thread
I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You’re asking for the absolute bare minimum of basic acceptable behaviour as most women are on here - men complain there are no women on here but then the behaviour is so awful. Was doing so much blocking I’ve had to hide my profile at the moment - such a shame it could be great x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I ask the same and it seems to be somewhere between rare and impossible. I haven't had a new private meet in months and my block list is phenomenonal.
I don't think it's unreasonable. It shouldn't be. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
That's what I want. Just a normal sensible conversation. Obviously the sexual part has to come into it somewhere but it doesn't have to get smutty.
It might make me sound a bit of a prude. I'm not, just a gentleman. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
What you're asking for seems very reasonable.
Problem is that there's some guys who think this site is just for fucking.
There's lots of decent guys use the forums, maybe they will be some lucky fella who grab your attention.
Good luck x
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As a single male, I rarely write an erotic script of how I'd like a meeting to go (unless the conversation has reached the point where it's requested)
First, it's presumptuous
Second, half the couples and women on here are fake profiles, set up by single men.
Third, it's not normally read before being deleted, if it's a first message.
So in your situation, I'd post a warning on your profile that people who message with unsolicited porn will be blocked. And let the idiots filter themselves. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not too much to ask at all....it’s hard on here to find the right match...and that goes for when you’re looking for singles and/or couples but there are good people out there.
We’ve met some great people on here...but the block list is long....once you sift through the bad there is some good left. Stag has always said if they are disrespectful in a message then imagine what they are like in the bedroom
Vixen x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We hear you!
We are lucky if maybe 1 or 2 our of 30 single guys are genuine, respectful and on fab because they are genuinely into swinging as a lifestyle choice and are not yet another single or attached guy on a sex site (in their eyes) looking to cheat or get laid and hubby is just a means to an end.
We have much better luck in the clubs.
KJ x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You’re clearly talking to the wrong men!! Sure there are others, like myself, who read profiles and try to message in accordance with the individuals expectations.
Some profiles crave sexual approach but most seek normal and respectful conversation in the first instance. More than happy to converse with any lady or couples with no expectations  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x"
.
I am probably far too honest and ordinary in my profile which I initially thought might hinder my chances on here but in 7 short weeks I'am no longer single thanks to fab. I'm sure you will find a nice normal guy eventually. Good luck. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You’re clearly talking to the wrong men!! Sure there are others, like myself, who read profiles and try to message in accordance with the individuals expectations.
Some profiles crave sexual approach but most seek normal and respectful conversation in the first instance. More than happy to converse with any lady or couples with no expectations "
Does ours crave a sexual approach? Honest opinion? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You’re clearly talking to the wrong men!! Sure there are others, like myself, who read profiles and try to message in accordance with the individuals expectations.
Some profiles crave sexual approach but most seek normal and respectful conversation in the first instance. More than happy to converse with any lady or couples with no expectations
Does ours crave a sexual approach? Honest opinion? "
It's a good profile and doesn't come across as to heavy. You seem like an easy going couple that knows what you want so don't stress. They will be along before you know it.x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
No, you are not asking too much. If the alternative is to drop your standards and accept the ensuing disrespect and abuse, that's just not worth it. Your profile looks a long way from 'picky'.
There definitely are decent men out there. I've met a few at the club (now I think about it, most of them aren't single, but that's more because I spend less time chatting with the single men). Unfortunately, from what people tell me, it seems you have to fight your way through a swamp of others to find them. That would get discouraging after a while.
Would it be too seedy to make friends with other local couples and share recommendations? Would the men mind being pimped out like that? There's probably already a secret group chat... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
An example of messages we get.. after telling someone who asked "which one he was talking to" that it doesn't matter because we both read and reply..
"Here calm yourself down. Was only going to say what type of bloke let's there lass fuck someone else terrible that and what type of person puts pics of themselves on the internet with everything on show. No one wants to come round your shitty little council flat ya fucking idiots 32 year old lad time to grow up"
  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"An example of messages we get.. after telling someone who asked "which one he was talking to" that it doesn't matter because we both read and reply..
"Here calm yourself down. Was only going to say what type of bloke let's there lass fuck someone else terrible that and what type of person puts pics of themselves on the internet with everything on show. No one wants to come round your shitty little council flat ya fucking idiots 32 year old lad time to grow up"
"
A lot of people don't belong on here and it sounds like you've been messaged by a lot of people who don't understand the lifestyle.
Love your profile so stick with it and block the idiots. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"An example of messages we get.. after telling someone who asked "which one he was talking to" that it doesn't matter because we both read and reply..
"Here calm yourself down. Was only going to say what type of bloke let's there lass fuck someone else terrible that and what type of person puts pics of themselves on the internet with everything on show. No one wants to come round your shitty little council flat ya fucking idiots 32 year old lad time to grow up"
"
Errrrm.
I think charm school was closed on the day he went.
Only one word needed: NEXT |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
see... i would say why are you waiting on the mountain to come to you....
if you know what you are after... you do the hunting!!!! be the hunters
those that are popular don't need to go out and sell themselves... they are already doing that!
why should they meet you both over "x"......
sometimes i think that couples forget that they are here for the same things as a lot of guys... so when we say "effort in equals rewards out!"... same thing applies.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not asking too much. I had the same questions and wonders and we have managed to enjoy time with a couple of single men who did get it! And there’s another we look forward to as well . Hasn’t been horrible at all, it’s not at all too much. And it is gross to always feel like they think you’re the male’s toy and be disrespected. - Mrs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I'm always respectful in messaging and take the lead from the couple. unfortunately most couples ive found on here are just as much to blame for time wasting etc |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"see... i would say why are you waiting on the mountain to come to you....
if you know what you are after... you do the hunting!!!! be the hunters
those that are popular don't need to go out and sell themselves... they are already doing that!
why should they meet you both over "x"......
sometimes i think that couples forget that they are here for the same things as a lot of guys... so when we say "effort in equals rewards out!"... same thing applies...."
There’s a good point to this, I realised we were just looking at who fell into our inbox rather than falling into others  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"see... i would say why are you waiting on the mountain to come to you....
if you know what you are after... you do the hunting!!!! be the hunters
those that are popular don't need to go out and sell themselves... they are already doing that!
why should they meet you both over "x"......
sometimes i think that couples forget that they are here for the same things as a lot of guys... so when we say "effort in equals rewards out!"... same thing applies...."
This is also a very good point. You could always block single guys and just message who ever you fancy. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x"
its maybe the age group your targeting you wouldn't get this so much in my age grouo  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat xits maybe the age group your targeting you wouldn't get this so much in my age grouo "
And you're also probably a very similar age to her parents... I know that's the case for me stopping at 45. Just something to think on! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i no longer let it get to me i use the message as a view to that person my block list is massive ... some guys think they are clever with the porn scripo type messages of full on sexual content without as much as a hello ... so nowi no longer worry and just press block if a guy wants to find out if im a ''slut in bed'' then they will have to learn to be respectful before we reach that point .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat xits maybe the age group your targeting you wouldn't get this so much in my age grouo
And you're also probably a very similar age to her parents... I know that's the case for me stopping at 45. Just something to think on! "
well yes but im answering for why they get the sex sex sex scenario |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago
NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts |
Unfortunately i takes time to sort the wheat from the chaff. But with patience ive found some amazing people. I think any site will have people that think if you like sex, respect goes out the window. But in actual fact its even more important. Stick with it and you will find some goodens |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat xits maybe the age group your targeting you wouldn't get this so much in my age grouo "
Incorrect.
I’m seeking older men and it’s equally as diabolical. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"
There’s a good point to this, I realised we were just looking at who fell into our inbox rather than falling into others "
and in a way this frustrates me....
if you found a person and they contracted you first then god bless you.... but I say to people this...
who know you already better than you...
so if you have a type, and you know what that is... when why are you waiting on people coming to you! go and find what you know is attractive to you!
saying that though... also remember that they will be attractive to others.... so why should they meet you over someone else! and thats where i find couples get lazy....
sorry... buts its true!
if you put as much legwork into it, as you tell us single guys to.... you wouldn't have as many issues! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
After reading the Op s profile in my mind there is nothing their to suggest they would want a sexual explicit chat on the first instant.
That said I’ve seen many sexually explicit statuses from single fems and couples or”well hung and girth now”who then demand a beautifully worded poem in order to get s reply.
I do have sympathy for the Op as there’s is a pretty straight forward and pleasant profile but one problem on here is the attitude of some couples towards single guys who they expect to be at their disposal on demand.The result of this is that most quality well mannered guys avoid trying to communicate on here and just attend clubs |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat xits maybe the age group your targeting you wouldn't get this so much in my age grouo "
Hit the nail on the head. My mother is 50. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
And it's a red herring. It proved our point.
Three messages, out of the dozens we've received since it's been there, quoted it. More used "got it" to confirm they understood our main rule.
But it's amusing how many messages we get telling us they love our profile, the one they never read.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Trying to find a decent quality single Male is as hard as trying to find a decent single female.
I’ve been hunting for a week for a decent Male (and I rarely do meets with single males because it’s horrific having to sift through such god awful messages my inbox is horrific) I’m about to give up.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I'm always mega polite but unfortunately I'm a single male on fab so it makes no difference."
Being polite is a default setting, not a guarantee to sex. There are vast swathes of men who aren’t and they get nothing so carry on not being a disrespectful twat and you have more of a chance than they do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"I'm always mega polite but unfortunately I'm a single male on fab so it makes no difference.
We're needles in haystacks. "
sorry thats too easy an excuse...
you make your own luck on here... and there are other ways to make yourself stand out other than on a profile,
the more flexible you are, the more oppotunities there are, the more people can see that you are different to others....
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
I'm the same! It is nigh on impossible to find someone who is respectful and just have a normal conversation, I've currently gone over 2 years without sex and that wont change in the near future if the behaviour continues as I wont be treated like an item from the Argos catalogue |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Trying to find a decent quality single Male is as hard as trying to find a decent single female.
I’ve been hunting for a week for a decent Male (and I rarely do meets with single males because it’s horrific having to sift through such god awful messages my inbox is horrific) I’m about to give up.
"
again... why you waiting on someone to mail you...... why aren't you the hunter and mailing! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I fit their criteria..
Let’s see what happens "
You messaged us about 45 mins ago. Posted this comment 6 minutes ago. 8 minutes after I'd already told you no.
You eventually sent a face pic and when I said I wasn't attracted to you, you told me you fit the criteria. For a start, you're listed as athletic.. which I'm personally not a fan of generally.
It's a preference. I have a preference.
Just because you think you fit my "criteria" doesn't mean I have to say yes..
How ridiculous.
When I said no, you queried this post. And said we're looking for more than our profile states? Attraction is important in sex.. it isn't personal that I don't find you attractive. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I'm always mega polite but unfortunately I'm a single male on fab so it makes no difference.
Being polite is a default setting, not a guarantee to sex. There are vast swathes of men who aren’t and they get nothing so carry on not being a disrespectful twat and you have more of a chance than they do."
I have no expectations on anyone and as you say I believe being polite is the default setting to chat to anyone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I fit their criteria..
Let’s see what happens
You messaged us about 45 mins ago. Posted this comment 6 minutes ago. 8 minutes after I'd already told you no.
You eventually sent a face pic and when I said I wasn't attracted to you, you told me you fit the criteria. For a start, you're listed as athletic.. which I'm personally not a fan of generally.
It's a preference. I have a preference.
Just because you think you fit my "criteria" doesn't mean I have to say yes..
How ridiculous.
When I said no, you queried this post. And said we're looking for more than our profile states? Attraction is important in sex.. it isn't personal that I don't find you attractive."
It’s going well so far.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fitting criteria and being found attractive are vastly different things. "
Absolutely.
Far too many think if you’re within the age range or any other requirement they have, that they are automatically going to be interested.
Not how it works. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I had 1 sexually explicit message too many last night and it tipped me over the edge
I've now hidden my profile until I feel I can cope with it all again |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat xits maybe the age group your targeting you wouldn't get this so much in my age grouo
Incorrect.
I’m seeking older men and it’s equally as diabolical. "
well justifying my age group by saying i dont lead with sex |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Not sure every single guy should be tarred with the same brush, the guys are single for a reason line is plain awful, it’s like someone saying a couple only swing because he can’t satisfy the women or because it’s the only way they can get friends etc etc
You get out what you put in, if you are open, friendly, don’t have loads of silly rules, don’t expect guys to jump through hoops etc then you’ll get decent nice guys |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have hundreds blocked, problem.is none of them read tour profile and those that do you ask so why choose to go against my profile, andnthey reply ih just thought i give it a try..
it would be good if there was some way of ranking them like a negative for a meet or a positive, no need for words why but why only have positive stiff on, we all know they wont show their bad one.
Its also a safety feature, if its bad for a reason |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I had 1 sexually explicit message too many last night and it tipped me over the edge
I've now hidden my profile until I feel I can cope with it all again"
I'm so sorry to hear it pushed you that far 
I hope you feel better about it soon, just know you'll be stronger once you're through it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
"Most of these guys are single for a reason. Just remember that. Lack of decorum and social skills will forever haunt them. "
because the attitude you are showing right now is such a turn on......
you know all that "pride comes before the fall" stuff...... how about trying "humility"....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I have noticed how a lot of couples expect the single guys to message them but if they Message the single guys Surely they will have more success? Just a thought.
I personally feel like a million dollars when a couple Messages me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I had 1 sexually explicit message too many last night and it tipped me over the edge
I've now hidden my profile until I feel I can cope with it all again"
WOW. Take deep breath and regain your composure. You'll be back to yourself soon.
Or better still - chat to ma (just chat). X |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
I do get how frustrating it must be OP. And yes, simple respect should be afforded at the very least. At the same time, you can control your fab experience. If your approach isn't working currently - change it. Block single men and start looking and messaging them yourself first. That's what I do when I'm looking to meet and I don't receive letchy messages back. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Most of these guys are single for a reason. Just remember that. Lack of decorum and social skills will forever haunt them.
because the attitude you are showing right now is such a turn on......
you know all that "pride comes before the fall" stuff...... how about trying "humility".... "
Agree, but the couple making this comment have thrown the toys out of the pram, aww. Some people really do take the false adulation seriously and then when someone now disagrees with them, they throw a wobbly  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"I do get how frustrating it must be OP. And yes, simple respect should be afforded at the very least. At the same time, you can control your fab experience. If your approach isn't working currently - change it. Block single men and start looking and messaging them yourself first. That's what I do when I'm looking to meet and I don't receive letchy messages back. "
Sound advise |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do get how frustrating it must be OP. And yes, simple respect should be afforded at the very least. At the same time, you can control your fab experience. If your approach isn't working currently - change it. Block single men and start looking and messaging them yourself first. That's what I do when I'm looking to meet and I don't receive letchy messages back. "
Thats what we're thinking. We do look for and message guys ourselves (not sure why people assume we wait for them) but also leave the inbox open. Think we might just take away that option. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I do get how frustrating it must be OP. And yes, simple respect should be afforded at the very least. At the same time, you can control your fab experience. If your approach isn't working currently - change it. Block single men and start looking and messaging them yourself first. That's what I do when I'm looking to meet and I don't receive letchy messages back.
Thats what we're thinking. We do look for and message guys ourselves (not sure why people assume we wait for them) but also leave the inbox open. Think we might just take away that option. "
Probably best to block all single guys from contacting you, and you just message those who fit what you are looking for  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x.
I am probably far too honest and ordinary in my profile which I initially thought might hinder my chances on here but in 7 short weeks I'am no longer single thanks to fab. I'm sure you will find a nice normal guy eventually. Good luck."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not sure every single guy should be tarred with the same brush, the guys are single for a reason line is plain awful, it’s like someone saying a couple only swing because he can’t satisfy the women or because it’s the only way they can get friends etc etc
You get out what you put in, if you are open, friendly, don’t have loads of silly rules, don’t expect guys to jump through hoops etc then you’ll get decent nice guys "
Exactly quite a few of the single ladies and couples I know all appreciate quality single guys realise they’re an important ingredient of the scene and treat them with mutual respect.
Whereby some couples and fems expect top quality guys to drop everything as soon as they are required.Lets face it out of those couples who complain about been let down or people not looking like their pictures etc have just posted last minute meets? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x"
Why not look for a single guy yourself, be proactive, its often said effort in reward out.
I'll quantify that by saying you know better than any description you provide the type of guy you're looking for. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Yes shame about them throwing the teddy
I used to spend a lot of time on here defending single guys but it’s reassuring when I come people like yourselves who obviously have a great understanding of the scene and yes we are not without fault but some manners and humanity of both sides is always helpful
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *good-being-badMan
over a year ago
mis-types and auto corrects leads cock leeds |
"An example of messages we get.. after telling someone who asked "which one he was talking to" that it doesn't matter because we both read and reply..
"Here calm yourself down. Was only going to say what type of bloke let's there lass fuck someone else terrible that and what type of person puts pics of themselves on the internet with everything on show. No one wants to come round your shitty little council flat ya fucking idiots 32 year old lad time to grow up"
"
It's against site rules to post private messages, |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Most of these guys are single for a reason. Just remember that. Lack of decorum and social skills will forever haunt them. "
We guys can be single for many reasons, and for me it’s a positive choice at this point in my life. And some of us can retain our decorum!! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
There’s a good point to this, I realised we were just looking at who fell into our inbox rather than falling into others
and in a way this frustrates me....
if you found a person and they contracted you first then god bless you.... but I say to people this...
who know you already better than you...
so if you have a type, and you know what that is... when why are you waiting on people coming to you! go and find what you know is attractive to you!
saying that though... also remember that they will be attractive to others.... so why should they meet you over someone else! and thats where i find couples get lazy....
sorry... buts its true!
if you put as much legwork into it, as you tell us single guys to.... you wouldn't have as many issues! "
Yes that’s what I was saying, that we started searching ourselves instead of just waiting to see what happened or being afraid to seek someone out. But honestly, going through dozens of messages that do fall in takes a lot of time, which leaves less for looking! If you have tons there you will look there first before beyond as you already know they’re interested. It doesn’t mean I think the men owe us the work, just that they’re there messaging so we will look at them before we do a search. The majority don’t do the legwork though, they send a dick and a stupid message often offensive and just waste our time. A few we have met just happened to fall into our inbox and they’ve been lovely but the amount of horrible that we encounter has made us a lot pickier. You can be mad that the women and couples aren’t doing the work, but they often don’t have to do the same. Their end of the work just looks different to that of the males. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It’s so easy for a couple to get fun. But no one wants average. So best bet is hold fire because a better guy will send a message in five mins.
Need I say more!!!"
I disagree. We get stood up, we get endless nonsense, we don’t hold out for someone better. The majority who message don’t even realise or respect that we are a couple. We are looking for someone we click with who is respectful and who I am attracted to, since if it’s a male, it’s just me who is going to fuck them. If I wait for someone better it’s because I get to choose who I am attracted to, not just settle for and fuck the first person who offers. I turned someone down for looking like my ex husband, for looking like my uncle, for being my dads age. Is that really just couples being picky? There are offers but that doesn’t mean I have to fuck them because they like us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Should Fab take on a Bumble type approach and not let single guys message first? It would probably save everyone a load of time, hassle and couples and single women getting Neanderthal messages, and those more thoughtful single guys would be spared from spending hours crafting consider messages to be lost in the dross of ‘fuck now’ messages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
guys think they just need to tick the same boxes and be polite for my knickers to drop ??? erm sorry but there needs to be an attraction ... same for all the yes men and white knights of fab who creep and shout the bad guys ruin it for them no they dont the bad guys ruin it for themselves if your not being picked its not because of the action of another bloke its because of you .. own it change it ....as for the white knights of fab nothing creepier in my opinion
there alot of successful guys on here that do well and from all walks and all shapes and sizes |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
To be honest I'm amazed at some of the moose that are always being so rude and really dismissive of single guys.
You read their profile and think who the hell is getting turned on by that..... and yet there is still a whole ranty paragraph telling single guys how horrible they are and what hoops to jump through.
Hahaha, many are 10pint beer goggle girls!
I reckon it's mostly for other girls/couples...... "huh look at me I'm so inundated as well girls"! Lol.
Just set profile to exclude single guys, if you're in the 25% of sexy girls, and it's genuinely a problem. Hahaha.
Simples! xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Trying to find a decent quality single Male is as hard as trying to find a decent single female.
I’ve been hunting for a week for a decent Male (and I rarely do meets with single males because it’s horrific having to sift through such god awful messages my inbox is horrific) I’m about to give up.
again... why you waiting on someone to mail you...... why aren't you the hunter and mailing!"
You failed to note my line where it states - I am hunting! Again another Male who fails to actually read! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x"
We’ve been on and off 8 years and Its just getting harder and harder to find genuine single male swingers rather than guys just after a free shag |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
Your profile reads well OP, it’s clear from the off that you have boundaries and there’s zero chance someone could inadvertently get it wrong. It’s long but not tedious and it gives an insight into you as a couple which is something I always check if even considering a couple. If both personalities don’t show in the bio I’ll assume it’s not balanced enjoyment which is too complicated for me to wish to get involved in.
Personally when I used to look for meets (I don’t anymore because I struck lucky with a wonderful woman) I would only generally be pro active in initiating the conversation with people I’m familiar with in the forums. For those outside of forums I would have a browse here and there, maybe fab a pic or two if I liked them but I’d wait, if I ever got a wink from one of the profiles I liked I’d then ensure I message and put them at ease as to how I conduct myself and generally the rest is history.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
There are a lot of guys on here. Surely the volumes of guys not respecting these basic principles helps with the filtering process? What is every guy on here messaging you applied what you asked? Surely it would be so much harder to pick and you'd have to spend more time replaying rather than delet and block? I say it's a good thing that the wrong guys show their true colours in the first message. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x"
Even as a single woman profile, some come at me with a gross suggestion within a first message! Wish messages were aimed more towards the banter element.... Shame!  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"There are a lot of guys on here. Surely the volumes of guys not respecting these basic principles helps with the filtering process? What is every guy on here messaging you applied what you asked? Surely it would be so much harder to pick and you'd have to spend more time replaying rather than delet and block? I say it's a good thing that the wrong guys show their true colours in the first message."
However the amount of abuse and disrespect is not a good thing..
At all. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As a single guy fairly new to the site I think it's hard for genuine guys to stand out amongst the thirsties.
And not just on here.
I began to wonder if I was being too passive in my approach to couples (singles too for that matter) after being ignored, deleted or blocked.
But at the end of the day I'm not going to change who I am for anyone.
WHEN not if I find the right people to have fun with I will.
And I'm having fun meeting people in clubs so the way I see it is, if it's worth having its worth the wait.
Happy fabbing x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Alongside a block button, maybe Fab needs to develop a plus or minus button. Then, if someone is a pest, everyone can give them a negative rating which is visible to all. Too many negative ratings and you can't message folk. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Alongside a block button, maybe Fab needs to develop a plus or minus button. Then, if someone is a pest, everyone can give them a negative rating which is visible to all. Too many negative ratings and you can't message folk."
Not a bad idea that! Are you reading this Fab |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Alongside a block button, maybe Fab needs to develop a plus or minus button. Then, if someone is a pest, everyone can give them a negative rating which is visible to all. Too many negative ratings and you can't message folk."
Unfortunately this would be to open to abuse. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Not sure every single guy should be tarred with the same brush, the guys are single for a reason line is plain awful, it’s like someone saying a couple only swing because he can’t satisfy the women or because it’s the only way they can get friends etc etc
You get out what you put in, if you are open, friendly, don’t have loads of silly rules, don’t expect guys to jump through hoops etc then you’ll get decent nice guys "
Thank you! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Its breathtaking how clueless some single guys can be. I say this because of the praise I sometimes get from couples just for being polite and having basic communication skills.
As someone who has also been on here as part of a couple I was often amazed by the lack of effort made by single men when they would contact us.
Yes it can be hard work being a single guy on here but making a genuine effort without a sense of entitlement never hurts. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Just a ‘plus 1’ for the ‘block messages from single men and go looking for them ‘ as an approach. It makes for a much more enjoyable fab experience and better conversations, even if they don’t lead to meets. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
As long as mail is not in text speak and not sexual I will often reply. I've met a few single guys a d the good ones make a killing. The bad ones get nothing |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fitting criteria and being found attractive are vastly different things.
Exactly. You can have a type, but you won't be attracted to everyone who thinks they fall into that type."
this.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"You’re asking for the absolute bare minimum of basic acceptable behaviour as most women are on here - men complain there are no women on here but then the behaviour is so awful. Was doing so much blocking I’ve had to hide my profile at the moment - such a shame it could be great x "
Couldn’t agree more. Respect first, for no other reason than that’s the way I like to enjoy the company of Fab people. It’s always more friendly that way, not to mention much more fun. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I wouldn't play with or recommend any man who had a bad attitude. Maybe you've been unfortunate? There are guys on here who do not have a clue, but plenty who do. Just be very selective. If you speak with a guy and he seems too wager or pushy, move on. This is why I insist on a social meet first. I'm not after a partner, but equally I don't want to come away from a meet feeling used or disrespected xx |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To me it just boils down to basic manners
Treat people the way you yourself would like to be spoken too, and treated
But there are still some nice males on here - don’t give up |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Im a sungle guy and iveneverbeen vulgar crude or impolite to anybody on here, maybe cheeky but not nasty or hurtful or anything. I'm a completely normal guy who is intelligent enough to exhibit the right level of sexiness as things progress, but really you can only get this right if you meet somebody to see the whites of their eyes.. Single guys struggle to get even the most friendly civil social meet a lot of the time, but I don't dwell on it or complain really. Its just what it is and ive a social life elsewhere anyway, maybe that's why op finds it tricky.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"To me it just boils down to basic manners
Treat people the way you yourself would like to be spoken too, and treated
But there are still some nice males on here - don’t give up "
Couldn’t agree more. I’m sure patience will pay off. There are fun gents to be found here! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x"
YAWN |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it’s very hard on here for you single guys...
The trouble is that so many people on here are fakes and bring the whole site down...all I can say it you is make a woman laugh and your half way there... I’ve met lots of nice single blokes on here but the blocked list is getting longer... M x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x
YAWN"
And here we have a prime example of what the OP is talking about. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I can do it, it’s a site though where people feel entitled and expect you to want that kind of thing.
They are usually the ones complaining that women are b@@@@@@ and never reply to there well put together and thoughtful message |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *l22Man
over a year ago
dorchester |
"It’s so easy for a couple to get fun. But no one wants average. So best bet is hold fire because a better guy will send a message in five mins. "
just read your profile thoroughly, him average, her average, oh well a better couple will come along in a minute
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I thought it would be easy to find a single guy on here but I'm honestly about to give up.
Are we asking too much?
We just want someone who will read and respect the profile.
Be honest with us and respectful.
Not speak to/about me like I'm a play thing.
Just be friendly with us instead of overly sexual.
I get that it's a swingers site but why can't we find a guy that will just be normal and friendly until we meet? The sexual part will come but Its so off putting when guys message acting like beast is sharing his toy.
Is it too much to ask for a guy to hold off on the sexual stuff until we plan a meet?
Right now I'm ready to block guys again because it's been months of terrible letchy messages and people talking about what they'd do to me.
Brat x"
We literally feel exactly the same  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *DFL6828Man
over a year ago
Leicester |
As a single guy who has been on here for years and have taken different approaches to messaging. From the do yiu want a fuck (when I first came on here), to reading the profile and sending a message that has things that tried to connect to that individual. Then trying different styles of profile, all to the same end. No response, delete..
Now I don't send messages to anyone, I don't need to as I'm haveing to much fun in clubs and have decoverd the Fet world. So now I'd say about 95% of people on here I wouldn't waist my time with now |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I always sent a polite and respectful message (I sometimes think it comes across a bit bland, but I think being well mannered is important), always with a face picture. I can empathise with couples and single females, there are plenty of single men and why would you reply no thanks or waste any time if there is a risk you will get a nasty message back.
The single guys that use another approach, not personally my style, do worry me as they must be successful with this scattergun approach..,otherwise why continue? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Sadly there are far too many single male profiles after a quick pump and dump, as opposed to true swingers - makes it difficult for those of use who are respectful and genuine |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
