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Chat me up
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge they dont work, theyre mostly corny
True but every now and then a gem will shine"
yes but its an in the moment thing  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge they dont work, theyre mostly corny"
Of course they don’t! Just for humour... when the fuck would those lines ever work in a real situation? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge "
If you were my little toe, I would bang you on every bit of furniture that I own  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If you had an hour to live.... what would you want me to do with you ..
Would you prefer me to cuff you or tie you up
If you give yourself to me... I’ll give you everything...
Can I trickle my fingers down your spine as I kiss the back of your neck ...
Sorry I’m rubbish at this! But I’m trying to participate x |
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"If you had an hour to live.... what would you want me to do with you ..
Would you prefer me to cuff you or tie you up
If you give yourself to me... I’ll give you everything...
Can I trickle my fingers down your spine as I kiss the back of your neck ...
Sorry I’m rubbish at this! But I’m trying to participate x"
That last chat up line is mine  |
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"If you had an hour to live.... what would you want me to do with you ..
Would you prefer me to cuff you or tie you up
If you give yourself to me... I’ll give you everything...
Can I trickle my fingers down your spine as I kiss the back of your neck ...
Sorry I’m rubbish at this! But I’m trying to participate x
That last chat up line is mine "
Now put your dummies back in |
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"If you had an hour to live.... what would you want me to do with you ..
Would you prefer me to cuff you or tie you up
If you give yourself to me... I’ll give you everything...
Can I trickle my fingers down your spine as I kiss the back of your neck ...
Sorry I’m rubbish at this! But I’m trying to participate x
That last chat up line is mine
Now put your dummies back in "
I meant I was going to use it in the future. Not that it was already mine. A suitable line for group sex. |
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"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge "
A rather confident sam strolls into a bar and takes a seat next to a stunningly attractive woman called Vik
I give you a quick glance, then casually look at my watch for a moment.
Noticing my actions, you ask, "Is your date running late?"
"No," I reply, "Q's just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
Intrigued by my words you reply, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"Well you see," I say , "it uses Alpha waves to telepathically talk to me."
"Oooooh, I see," you say, "and what's it telling you now?"
"It says you're not wearing any knickers..." !!
You giggle and reply "Well Sam it must be broken because I'm afraid I'm wearing knickers!"
I tutt, tap my watch and say, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!"
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge
A rather confident sam strolls into a bar and takes a seat next to a stunningly attractive woman called Vik
I give you a quick glance, then casually look at my watch for a moment.
Noticing my actions, you ask, "Is your date running late?"
"No," I reply, "Q's just given me this state-of-the-art watch and I was just testing it."
Intrigued by my words you reply, "A state-of-the-art watch? What's so special about it?"
"Well you see," I say , "it uses Alpha waves to telepathically talk to me."
"Oooooh, I see," you say, "and what's it telling you now?"
"It says you're not wearing any knickers..." !!
You giggle and reply "Well Sam it must be broken because I'm afraid I'm wearing knickers!"
I tutt, tap my watch and say, "Damn thing must be an hour fast!"
"
Stepping up a little haha |
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"That was me just apologising for the rubbish lines lol .. but I can see how that would work yeah, I know. I thought I was being witty. Apparently not. "
Well at least the two you are getting noticed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The girls on here actually read things like this, maybe a chuckle may check you out possibilities of prizes for the winners.
Who knows "
ahhhhh you gotta be in it to win it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That was me just apologising for the rubbish lines lol .. but I can see how that would work yeah, I know. I thought I was being witty. Apparently not.
Well at least the two you are getting noticed "
very true... |
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"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge "
Hi, I have a question and would like some advice please.
Girl “Sure, what’s up?”
Me: “Let’s say I see a really cute girl that I like, do I go up and talk to them or is that too direct?”
Girl: “omg, you should definitely go and talk to her!”
Me: “Oh wow that's great advice, thank you, Hi I’m Sam |
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge
Hi, I have a question and would like some advice please.
Girl “Sure, what’s up?”
Me: “Let’s say I see a really cute girl that I like, do I go up and talk to them or is that too direct?”
Girl: “omg, you should definitely go and talk to her!”
Me: “Oh wow that's great advice, thank you, Hi I’m Sam"
Umm dodgy |
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"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge
Hi, I have a question and would like some advice please.
Girl “Sure, what’s up?”
Me: “Let’s say I see a really cute girl that I like, do I go up and talk to them or is that too direct?”
Girl: “omg, you should definitely go and talk to her!”
Me: “Oh wow that's great advice, thank you, Hi I’m Sam
Umm dodgy "
Trust me that's not one of my dodgy ones  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was once the recipient of a successful chat up line.
I was sitting alone at a bar some years ago eying up the girls opposite without any result. Then an attractive lady walked past and said to me “ you’ll need to throw peanuts if you want to attract their attention”.
We became friends and dated for several months. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Was your dad a boxer? Because damn, you’re a knockout
Do you believe in love at first sight, it should I walk by again?
Can you check the tag on my shirt, I believe it’s made of boyfriend material.
Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
I’m a mathematician and I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"Was your dad a boxer? Because damn, you’re a knockout
Do you believe in love at first sight, it should I walk by again?
Can you check the tag on my shirt, I believe it’s made of boyfriend material.
Is your name Google? Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
I’m a mathematician and I’m pretty good with numbers. Tell you what, give me yours and watch what I can do with it
"
What if my dad is a boxer lol |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"My mates bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
Wasn’t that only fools and horses "
That one is as old as time itself |
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"My mates bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
Wasn’t that only fools and horses
That one is as old as time itself "
Unless you’re name is Rodney maybe not going down well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"My mates bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
Wasn’t that only fools and horses
That one is as old as time itself "
Worked last Friday |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"My mates bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
Wasn’t that only fools and horses
That one is as old as time itself
Worked last Friday "
Well. They say the old ones are the best. |
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By *hunky GentMan
over a year ago
Maldon and Peterborough |
"My mates bet me that I wouldn’t be able to start a conversation with the hottest girl in the bar. Wanna buy some drinks with their money?
Wasn’t that only fools and horses
That one is as old as time itself
Unless you’re name is Rodney maybe not going down well "
Well, as it happens.......
No its not, but I got a great deal on second hand lawnmower engines - if you're interested. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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The worst chat up line I ever got was “Hi, I’m Bond. Uni Bond, I’m here to fill your crack” They say men don’t know how to woo a woman anymore.
Worked though, made me laugh, broke the ice, and he was gorgeous...  Viv xx |
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By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"If you had an hour to live.... what would you want me to do with you ..
Would you prefer me to cuff you or tie you up
If you give yourself to me... I’ll give you everything...
Can I trickle my fingers down your spine as I kiss the back of your neck ...
Sorry I’m rubbish at this! But I’m trying to participate x"
To be fair, you had me at the spine and kissing neck one |
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"If you had an hour to live.... what would you want me to do with you ..
Would you prefer me to cuff you or tie you up
If you give yourself to me... I’ll give you everything...
Can I trickle my fingers down your spine as I kiss the back of your neck ...
Sorry I’m rubbish at this! But I’m trying to participate x
To be fair, you had me at the spine and kissing neck one "
Now did I say you may get noticed |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If you had an hour to live.... what would you want me to do with you ..
Would you prefer me to cuff you or tie you up
If you give yourself to me... I’ll give you everything...
Can I trickle my fingers down your spine as I kiss the back of your neck ...
Sorry I’m rubbish at this! But I’m trying to participate x
To be fair, you had me at the spine and kissing neck one
Now did I say you may get noticed "
you did indeed! I just woke up, and thought I’d pop back in |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I want to explore your body endlessly with my mouth
Let me treat you like the sexy sultry woman you are
Come upstairs and loose yourself with me
Let me show you how oral should be performed
Let my hands take care of your body so your mind can go elsewhere
Let me kiss and tease you like your the last woman on earth ....
Xx
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That was me just apologising for the rubbish lines lol .. but I can see how that would work yeah, I know. I thought I was being witty. Apparently not. "
Dunno haha I laughed at it - Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Had a girl chat me up where she declared that she "hasn't had any sexually transmitted diseases whatsoever" waffled on about something else then declared it again  
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“ I don’t use cheesy chat up lines I’ve just lifted from google. There’s a drink of your choice behind the bar for. Enjoy”
Ah champagne my favourite "
You just set yourself up for...drum roll
“Would you like me to pop the cork for you”
Shameful. |
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"“ I don’t use cheesy chat up lines I’ve just lifted from google. There’s a drink of your choice behind the bar for. Enjoy”
Ah champagne my favourite
You just set yourself up for...drum roll
“Would you like me to pop the cork for you”
Shameful. "
If you wasn’t so far away be a fabulous idea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You look so innocent you look so sweet as long as I have a face you’ll always have a seat.
Hey do you wana play laundry. You be the washing machine I’ll put my dirty load in you.
Bang me if I’m wrong but Is your name bob lol.
Wana have a boxing match I’ll pull my pants down and you give me some blows to the head . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"“ I don’t use cheesy chat up lines I’ve just lifted from google. There’s a drink of your choice behind the bar for. Enjoy”
Ah champagne my favourite
You just set yourself up for...drum roll
“Would you like me to pop the cork for you”
Shameful.
If you wasn’t so far away be a fabulous idea "
Distance, the chagrin of so many swingers. |
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By *inkycream OP Couple
over a year ago
manchester |
"“ I don’t use cheesy chat up lines I’ve just lifted from google. There’s a drink of your choice behind the bar for. Enjoy”
Ah champagne my favourite
You just set yourself up for...drum roll
“Would you like me to pop the cork for you”
Shameful.
If you wasn’t so far away be a fabulous idea
Distance, the chagrin of so many swingers. "
Very true |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What’s the difference between marmalade and jam .
I can’t marmalade my dick in your bang hole
I’d like to use your thighs as ear muffs .
I don’t do fancy wines I prefer moans .
Do you have a shovel cause I’m digging that ass
Do you have pet insurance cause your pussys getting smashed tonight |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I said you had a fantastic body... Actually I'd be lying, fancy a shag?
(Only kidding but did use the line once. I was going to say "If I said you had a fantastic body would you hold it against me" but half way through thought better of it) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What’s the difference between marmalade and jam .
I can’t marmalade my dick in your bang hole
I’d like to use your thighs as ear muffs .
I don’t do fancy wines I prefer moans .
Do you have a shovel cause I’m digging that ass
Do you have pet insurance cause your pussys getting smashed tonight"
Christ you know them all lol...
Wine one I like though hahaha! |
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"Come on guys let’s here some real chat up lines, don’t pm let the girls judge "
Hi, I've lost my phone, please could you call it to see if someone has picked it up or if it's laying somewhere near ?(I give you the number)
When it starts ringing in my pocket I smile and say thank you.
I will call or text you later to ask if you'd like to meet up for a drink as a thank you for finding my phone. |
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