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True submissives
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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In my experience, this is the most elusive of creatures.. Most are play submissive's only or situational submissives.. I've been around the world of kink for a long time and in all of that time I've only known one truly 24/7 submissive. Not really a question, just an observation |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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What is a true submissive though? You can get bratty subs, little subs, service orientated subs, obedient subs who like rules and discipline, slutty subs, masochistic subs, role play subs, subs who also switch.....They're all wonderful in their own unique ways, but it's just a case of finding one you're compatible with. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Define 'true'?
"
I would define a true submissive as one who lives a 24/7 lifestyle, who's entire being is defined by servitude and deference to another.
I don't mean this post as an attack or to denigrate anyone. Simply curious as to what others think |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"What is a true submissive though? You can get bratty subs, little subs, service orientated subs, obedient subs who like rules and discipline, slutty subs, masochistic subs, role play subs, subs who also switch.....They're all wonderful in their own unique ways, but it's just a case of finding one you're compatible with. "
Hmmm this is perfectly correct. However, there are subs that are a little bit of this and that with the switch aside.
I believe the OP was referring to more a sub that is full time rather than just playtime. This hard to achieve in today's society and misgivings so they exist just not as you may think. |
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"Define 'true'?
I would define a true submissive as one who lives a 24/7 lifestyle, who's entire being is defined by servitude and deference to another.
I don't mean this post as an attack or to denigrate anyone. Simply curious as to what others think"
I’d suggest that’s more slave. But there’s no one twu way. Just people who are well matched and those who aren’t. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience, this is the most elusive of creatures.. Most are play submissive's only or situational submissives.. I've been around the world of kink for a long time and in all of that time I've only known one truly 24/7 submissive. Not really a question, just an observation"
In the kink scene in my town there are lots of subs. But it’s a very personal thing. How submissive one person is maybe me too much or not enough for another.
My partner is submissive with me but not in her work life and we fit perfectly. Within the kink scene, dynamics have to be negotiated and we all evolve in our own ways |
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"In my experience, this is the most elusive of creatures.. Most are play submissive's only or situational submissives.. I've been around the world of kink for a long time and in all of that time I've only known one truly 24/7 submissive. Not really a question, just an observation"
Can link submissive tendency’s to so many factors especially if it’s sexual or play submissive that’s quite common but for servitude and behaviour 24/7 is going to be a rare find
Everyone seems to be a subby nowadays 
Like finding a needle in a haystack |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"In my experience, this is the most elusive of creatures.. Most are play submissive's only or situational submissives.. I've been around the world of kink for a long time and in all of that time I've only known one truly 24/7 submissive. Not really a question, just an observation
Can link submissive tendency’s to so many factors especially if it’s sexual or play submissive that’s quite common but for servitude and behaviour 24/7 is going to be a rare find
Everyone seems to be a subby nowadays
Like finding a needle in a haystack "
Yes, this exactly.. The same as with doms, every guy is now a dom with little or no understanding of the true responsibility of being a dom, that one can just decide to be a dom rather than dominance being an enate quality. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"In my experience, this is the most elusive of creatures.. Most are play submissive's only or situational submissives.. I've been around the world of kink for a long time and in all of that time I've only known one truly 24/7 submissive. Not really a question, just an observation
Can link submissive tendency’s to so many factors especially if it’s sexual or play submissive that’s quite common but for servitude and behaviour 24/7 is going to be a rare find
Everyone seems to be a subby nowadays
Like finding a needle in a haystack
Yes, this exactly.. The same as with doms, every guy is now a dom with little or no understanding of the true responsibility of being a dom, that one can just decide to be a dom rather than dominance being an enate quality. "
I think you mean innate |
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"In my experience, this is the most elusive of creatures.. Most are play submissive's only or situational submissives.. I've been around the world of kink for a long time and in all of that time I've only known one truly 24/7 submissive. Not really a question, just an observation
In the kink scene in my town there are lots of subs. But it’s a very personal thing. How submissive one person is maybe me too much or not enough for another.
My partner is submissive with me but not in her work life and we fit perfectly. Within the kink scene, dynamics have to be negotiated and we all evolve in our own ways "
Very healthy approach, we all have so many sides to us, having one would be rather boring anyway |
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"Let people he who they are. That's truth."
Very true and a truly important part of understanding anyone is the key for them to be exactly who they are.
A D&S relationship can enable a couple to fullfill a dynamic that’s altogether totally different to any other experience they might have in a vanilla world, I find it very rewarding even to the degree it’s all consuming
at times too |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
My personal view is to distrust anyone who talks of "twew" doms or submissives. Also those who talk about "natural" or "innate" doms or subs. Accepting there has to be some inclination within a person to take a role within a relationship. But I don't believe people intuitively know everything about the role. It is usually as people have mentioned relationship dependent, a bit of personal growth and a bit of fantasy meets reality.
As an example my interests are impact and sensation, that would not work for a submissive into service or into humiliation. That does not mean they are bad submissives, just not the submissives for me.
Even in a total power exchange couple or a Gorean couple, like any relationship both parties have to make the relationship work in the real world, and with the personalities involved.
To imagine a true submissive automatically behaves in a De Sade characterisation of a submissive or even a submissive from Laura Antoniou's Marketplace, or a compliant fucktoy, is in my view, to confuse fantasy with reality.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My personal view is to distrust anyone who talks of "twew" doms or submissives. Also those who talk about "natural" or "innate" doms or subs. Accepting there has to be some inclination within a person to take a role within a relationship. But I don't believe people intuitively know everything about the role. It is usually as people have mentioned relationship dependent, a bit of personal growth and a bit of fantasy meets reality.
As an example my interests are impact and sensation, that would not work for a submissive into service or into humiliation. That does not mean they are bad submissives, just not the submissives for me.
Even in a total power exchange couple or a Gorean couple, like any relationship both parties have to make the relationship work in the real world, and with the personalities involved.
To imagine a true submissive automatically behaves in a De Sade characterisation of a submissive or even a submissive from Laura Antoniou's Marketplace, or a compliant fucktoy, is in my view, to confuse fantasy with reality.
"
I didn't mean to infer that one can simple know all of the facets of being a dom, simply that being dominant or submissive is not a choice, the same as one does not choose to be gay or straight, one simply is.
And I have in my life been lucky enough to encounter a true submissive, in that it was her defining characteristic |
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My submission hugely depends on the other person, and the level of trust we have developed.
One element many don't stop to consider is if they are the right type person for the kind of person they want.
For example, if you want a 24/7 1950s service sub, are you the kind of person, with the skills and resources for them to see you as someone they want to be with. |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
"My personal view is to distrust anyone who talks of "twew" doms or submissives. Also those who talk about "natural" or "innate" doms or subs. Accepting there has to be some inclination within a person to take a role within a relationship. But I don't believe people intuitively know everything about the role. It is usually as people have mentioned relationship dependent, a bit of personal growth and a bit of fantasy meets reality.
As an example my interests are impact and sensation, that would not work for a submissive into service or into humiliation. That does not mean they are bad submissives, just not the submissives for me.
Even in a total power exchange couple or a Gorean couple, like any relationship both parties have to make the relationship work in the real world, and with the personalities involved.
To imagine a true submissive automatically behaves in a De Sade characterisation of a submissive or even a submissive from Laura Antoniou's Marketplace, or a compliant fucktoy, is in my view, to confuse fantasy with reality.
I didn't mean to infer that one can simple know all of the facets of being a dom, simply that being dominant or submissive is not a choice, the same as one does not choose to be gay or straight, one simply is.
And I have in my life been lucky enough to encounter a true submissive, in that it was her defining characteristic"
How then would you explain switches?
I accept everyone is different, but I have seen too many say they are either dom or sub but in their kink journey they switch.
However in terms of a submissive, I think the person's personality should be their defining characteristic and submission an aspect of it.
As people have pointed out submission takes different forms, and I would have to understand more what is meant by "submission being a defining characteristic". I would hope it does not mean being a door mat. As the door mat view of submissives is a potential red flag of an abuser.
But your view is as valid as anybodies for what you want. I just don't believe that having a personal view of what a submissive should be means anyone that does not match that personal view is not a true submissive. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My personal view is to distrust anyone who talks of "twew" doms or submissives. Also those who talk about "natural" or "innate" doms or subs. Accepting there has to be some inclination within a person to take a role within a relationship. But I don't believe people intuitively know everything about the role. It is usually as people have mentioned relationship dependent, a bit of personal growth and a bit of fantasy meets reality.
As an example my interests are impact and sensation, that would not work for a submissive into service or into humiliation. That does not mean they are bad submissives, just not the submissives for me.
Even in a total power exchange couple or a Gorean couple, like any relationship both parties have to make the relationship work in the real world, and with the personalities involved.
To imagine a true submissive automatically behaves in a De Sade characterisation of a submissive or even a submissive from Laura Antoniou's Marketplace, or a compliant fucktoy, is in my view, to confuse fantasy with reality.
I didn't mean to infer that one can simple know all of the facets of being a dom, simply that being dominant or submissive is not a choice, the same as one does not choose to be gay or straight, one simply is.
And I have in my life been lucky enough to encounter a true submissive, in that it was her defining characteristic
How then would you explain switches?
I accept everyone is different, but I have seen too many say they are either dom or sub but in their kink journey they switch.
However in terms of a submissive, I think the person's personality should be their defining characteristic and submission an aspect of it.
As people have pointed out submission takes different forms, and I would have to understand more what is meant by "submission being a defining characteristic". I would hope it does not mean being a door mat. As the door mat view of submissives is a potential red flag of an abuser.
But your view is as valid as anybodies for what you want. I just don't believe that having a personal view of what a submissive should be means anyone that does not match that personal view is not a true submissive. "
With all due respect, to bring the term 'abuser' and 'red flag' into this conversation is completely unwarented! As a dom, my submissives safety and happiness are my fist concern, ALWAYS! |
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By *ensualMan
over a year ago
Sutton |
My point was and I think it is a valid one, that too many "doms" think that a "true submissive" is a door mat to be used and abused. Too many submissives enter the scene wanting to be a "true submissive" and end up emotionally and physically burned.
Therefore, I was clarifying that a "dom" with the view that a "true submissive" is a doormat, could be an abuser. That is my experience of the scene. I think it is important from an educational point of view to state that a person can be a "true submissive" without having to be a doormat.
I was not making any accusations. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You can be a true submissive without living it 24/7
Most submissives have lives and jobs "
This.
Everyone’s definition of a “true” submissive will be different.
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By *Jones19Man
over a year ago
Evesham, Worcester, Pershore |
Always find these interesting reads. Anyone that's been involved in sub/dom play/relationship knows that they prefer/enjoy in a partner. Asking for a "true sub" and then saying what you believe it to be, comes across as a bit ignorant at best. |
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