FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > What has happened to men and forplay
What has happened to men and forplay
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I have recently had a few meets and it seems things in the swing world have changed or is it something i am doing?
Every man i have met recently has not done any forplay with me not passion or no sensual touching ect... I always play with the male and always offer oral sex to them if they want it i also show passion and sensuallity but nothing in return. It seems the men i have met just want to have sex, and go.
Is anyone experiencing this it is making me not want to meet any more men as i lovce forplay and oral probeby more than the sex its self.
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Maybe you've been picking the wrong guys?
Maybe they feel intimidated by meeting a couple and feel kissing and being passionate are over stepping boundaries?
Maybe you need to communicate what you expect from the better?
That's all I can think of!
Kissing, passion, touching and licking are so important to me, I'd find it very hard to get into sex without a good build up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have recently had a few meets and it seems things in the swing world have changed or is it something i am doing?
Every man i have met recently has not done any forplay with me not passion or no sensual touching ect... I always play with the male and always offer oral sex to them if they want it i also show passion and sensuallity but nothing in return. It seems the men i have met just want to have sex, and go.
Is anyone experiencing this it is making me not want to meet any more men as i lovce forplay and oral probeby more than the sex its self.
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me. "
It will be women like me that tell them no foerplay  I like cum and go.. lol
Cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Foreplay is my favourite bit. Teasing and playing, discovering sensitive bits, getting wetter and hornier. Anyone who doesnt is just missing out!  "
I really dont get the cum and go way but whatever floats yer boat |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Foreplay is under rated and under used.
It can be so erotic and sensual, and to me is an essential part of any sexual relationship.
Maybe it's just an older guy thing, I don't know. But I am sure there are youngers ones out there, who feel the same. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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what i find is that they are ok if they get a blow job but when it comes to the return they just want sex... and i blame the cum and go practice for it lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think foreplay is the most important part the touching strocking kissing caressing and oral is the biggest turn on for me. I've met a few guys that just won't a quick wham bam thank you man then just walk away then I'm like your cheers mate what about me?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me. "
Yea ....you're meeting the wrong guys 
For me foreplay is very important - not just to 'get the women ready', but also for my own enjoyment - I love being taken to the edge and back again several times before the fucking begins - it also makes the final result much more satisfying |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You must be doing it Allll wrong!!!
Kidding!
I find if you go down on them til they cum, then get them to return the favour, they will have sufficiently recovered to give you a right good seeing to in the interim, but thats just me  |
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as a soft swing couple our entire meets are foreplay lol, so we havent nticed a drop off in people not wanting to do it.
however, have had people just want to have sex and try to push our boundaries |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what i find is that they are ok if they get a blow job but when it comes to the return they just want sex... and i blame the cum and go practice for it lol "
Sorry, but I think you've been meeting the wrong guys!
Sex without foreplay? Not for me thanks!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"For me foreplay begins when you have definetly decided your going to meet. The pms, the texts, the calls, thats where it all starts for me"
same here...all the build up adds to the excitement for when you finally get your hands (or lips!) on em!! x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"what i find is that they are ok if they get a blow job but when it comes to the return they just want sex... and i blame the cum and go practice for it lol "
Most of my meets are like that..not all.. but its how some people like it.. I do expect them to touch me a little during a bj.. but once they cum.. WE want them to go..
but not for every meet.. but I get off on and get great pleasure from sucking cock.. certainly more than I do from being licked.
Cali |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
I love the way all the single guys come out of the woodwork and try to "advertise" themselves on threads like this! All love foreplay and can't understand the OP's meets!
I rather think it is a symptom of free swingers sites. Loads of guys who are on here solely for a shag! This subject comes up time and time again and I see the problem getting worse!
From our area alone (Northants) we see loads of single guys joining every week.. Not many couples and no single females. They are all thinking that swingers are easy and expecting to get a shag straight away.. When they do get a meet, they have no idea how to behave and treat it like picking up a woman on a Saturday night!
We would be quite happy for all the chancers to leave the site and just leave the type of guys we used to have five years ago.. Respectful, clean and up for some good sex and not just penetration! |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"love foreplay.
giving a female oral for hours is a must for me"
If you have to give oral for hours, you are doing it all wrong! Do you know just how boring it can be for women while you have to prove you can breathe through your ears???
30 minutes.. 45 tops and if you aint done the business by then, it aint gonna happen! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They probably don't have time for foreplay, have to get a wriggle on so they can be sat back in front of the telly when their wife gets home from her night out.
Or maybe need to get to the next meet that they booked for that night, or maybe thats just cyncism.  
XXXX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could be forgiven for thinking that there are some misandrists on here. And they're not lesbians either lol
First, single men get moaned at because they cum and go,
then on other threads when a single man asks why he can't find meets, he's told he should make himself stick out from the crowd,
then more slagging off when one is seen to advertise himself.
Nag, Nag, Nag
 |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
Sorry for the long post, but……
"You could be forgiven for thinking that there are some misandrists on here. And they're not lesbians either lol"
Not misandrists at all. Just discerning females (and men) who see most single guys joining these sites as chancers and want sex at any price! Free sites have a plethora of single guys who think that swingers are easy and are pretty miffed when they find out they're not!
Way back when we started in 1998, we used to meet single guys. They were respectful and expected to give the lady a good time. As time went on this seemed to change as more and more found the free sites on the 'Net. They didn't want to "work " at it and certainly wouldn't have survived the days before the 'Net.
So we stopped meeting them! Plain & simple! In our early days they would be invited round and get refreshments and an hospitable welcome. Some guys came with a small gift, flowers or choco's were favourite, and although not expected, it was nice that they did it!
Playtime would start earlier rather than later, we would have a good time, then get dressed, have tea of coffee and a chat and they would leave. Most would be invited back at some point, but not these days..
We have had guys arrive after being given a weeks notice, still smelling like they had just come from a heavy workout at the gym last week! We have had them turn up in ripped jeans, trainers and a T shirt with some obscene logo on it! We did let a few who looked half decent into the house, three we played with.. Not one could actually perform when it came to it!
Guys who were in the scene years ago were by the very nature of the swinging contact, prepared for the long haul, these days it seems to be in, shag, out! Yes, we would meet single guys still and have that on our profile, but we are very careful now and only go by word of mouth and validations before we will even consider…
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I love the way all the single guys come out of the woodwork and try to "advertise" themselves on threads like this! All love foreplay and can't understand the OP's meets!
I rather think it is a symptom of free swingers sites. Loads of guys who are on here solely for a shag! This subject comes up time and time again and I see the problem getting worse!
From our area alone (Northants) we see loads of single guys joining every week.. Not many couples and no single females. They are all thinking that swingers are easy and expecting to get a shag straight away.. When they do get a meet, they have no idea how to behave and treat it like picking up a woman on a Saturday night!
We would be quite happy for all the chancers to leave the site and just leave the type of guys we used to have five years ago.. Respectful, clean and up for some good sex and not just penetration!"
While I can agree with some of what you have said, and like all, you are entitled to your opinion, not ALL single guys are as you describe. Yes some are and give those that genuinely want to gain something from this a bad name, not all are shag and go. Single guys get a bad name, and from what I have read on some forums quite rightly so, but come on, we are not ALL the same, thank god ! |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"While I can agree with some of what you have said, and like all, you are entitled to your opinion, not ALL single guys are as you describe. Yes some are and give those that genuinely want to gain something from this a bad name, not all are shag and go. Single guys get a bad name, and from what I have read on some forums quite rightly so, but come on, we are not ALL the same, thank god !"
So, where did I say that ALL single males are the same? Did you not read this bit?
"We would be quite happy for all the chancers to leave the site and just leave the type of guys we used to have five years ago.. Respectful, clean and up for some good sex and not just penetration!"
If you are going to take issue, make sure there is one to take! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me its all about 4play.
Lots of eye contact flirting soft touches and seductive kisses way before anyone is naked as this turns me on so much, to see the person your with get horny and to see the look in there eyes, that sexual connection , all leading to hours of pure pleasure together.
I'd not be in the slightest bit horny if I turned up for a quickie. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"While I can agree with some of what you have said, and like all, you are entitled to your opinion, not ALL single guys are as you describe. Yes some are and give those that genuinely want to gain something from this a bad name, not all are shag and go. Single guys get a bad name, and from what I have read on some forums quite rightly so, but come on, we are not ALL the same, thank god !
So, where did I say that ALL single males are the same? Did you not read this bit?
We would be quite happy for all the chancers to leave the site and just leave the type of guys we used to have five years ago.. Respectful, clean and up for some good sex and not just penetration!
If you are going to take issue, make sure there is one to take! "
Somewhat remiss of me to think you meant ALL single guys. I therefore eat humble pie and apologise.  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Maybe you've been picking the wrong guys?
Maybe they feel intimidated by meeting a couple and feel kissing and being passionate are over stepping boundaries?
Maybe you need to communicate what you expect from the better?
That's all I can think of!
Kissing, passion, touching and licking are so important to me, I'd find it very hard to get into sex without a good build up"
+ 1 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have to admit more guys i meet do not gve me oral than those who do, i have thought at times its just not the done thing in swinging for guys to go down on women, i dont think most men on here really care about what your getting out of it in swinging its more about 'me' so as long as they get a blow job and a fuck to them its been a good session then can not understand why you dont want to meet them again
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to admit more guys i meet do not gve me oral than those who do, i have thought at times its just not the done thing in swinging for guys to go down on women, i dont think most men on here really care about what your getting out of it in swinging its more about 'me' so as long as they get a blow job and a fuck to them its been a good session then can not understand why you dont want to meet them again
"
I'm just waiting for some single bloke to come along and now offer to meet you and give you oral on this thread haha
theres always one at least haha ! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to admit more guys i meet do not gve me oral than those who do, i have thought at times its just not the done thing in swinging for guys to go down on women, i dont think most men on here really care about what your getting out of it in swinging its more about 'me' so as long as they get a blow job and a fuck to them its been a good session then can not understand why you dont want to meet them again
I'm just waiting for some single bloke to come along and now offer to meet you and give you oral on this thread haha
theres always one at least haha !"
i get that anyway, every guy you meet on here has the best tongue ever, will give me more orgasums than ive ever had, loves going down on women etc.....till you meet them and realise they all mouth and wouldnt know one end of a clit from the other lol
im going to really sick my neck out here and say ive thought a few times with men ive met theres no wonder theres so many married guys playing away on here cause if i was married to him id go off sex too |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have recently had a few meets and it seems things in the swing world have changed or is it something i am doing?
Every man i have met recently has not done any forplay with me not passion or no sensual touching ect... I always play with the male and always offer oral sex to them if they want it i also show passion and sensuallity but nothing in return. It seems the men i have met just want to have sex, and go.
Is anyone experiencing this it is making me not want to meet any more men as i lovce forplay and oral probeby more than the sex its self.
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me. "
surely though if its a 3some you could lead the way and get your fella to start things on that level, im sure most single guys would want to join in if they thought thats what you wanted first |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe you've been picking the wrong guys?
Maybe they feel intimidated by meeting a couple and feel kissing and being passionate are over stepping boundaries?
Maybe you need to communicate what you expect from the better?
That's all I can think of!
Kissing, passion, touching and licking are so important to me, I'd find it very hard to get into sex without a good build up"
i dont think its anything to do woth being part of a couple, im single and ive had the same problem
I think its because a lot dont see sex with women on here the same as sex with none swinging women, im sure most of these guys who dont give oral would if it was a partner they was playing with, but women on here are just seen as something to off load on/in so giving pleasure back dont seem to be a priority, maybe its down to selfihsness, maybe its because of the safe sex with oral thing that puts them off going down on women, it could be a number of reasons, i dont think its because your a couple tho
Like it or not some guys do just see women on here as free prostitutes and have sex with you accordingly
It all comes down to who you meet, ive met some guys who have been so selfish in bed that ive actually got dressed mid play and left, because im not a object just for their pleasure, ive also met some guys who have been very giving and the sex from start to finish has been fantastic
You can tell people before you meet till your blue in the face what you expect out iof a meet but that does not mean they will do it just because they agree with you before you meet
some guys are giving some arnt thing is you dont know if you have met the wrong type till its to late all you know is not to meet them again |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never mind the foreplay (I did have to google it), the last few meets I've had the women haven't cooked me dinner. As a result I haven't seen the point in getting my dirty laundry out of the car!! What is the world coming too??
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To the OP - definitely something they're doing wrong - not you!
I've been on many a meet where it's JUST been foreplay - no penetration at all, and they've been as much, if not more fun than those where it's ended in full sex.
I guess I'll no doubt be viewed as a previous poster has stated as 'another single guy coming out the woodwork' - to which I'd probably reply - do you seriously think the kind of guys more into wham bam quickies actually spend much time in the forums? I thought they were all too busy sending cut and paste 'fancy a fuck?' messages and abusing folk in the chatrooms to have the time!
There are some guys who view sex via meets on site in the same way as they would do in a relationship. If anything - there's more to 'live up to' and more expectancy that it'll be good sex - after all - you'd expect folk on here to know more about what they enjoy and how to get it than those in normal, non-experimental relationships.
Guess it's all down to choosing the right company! |
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It's all a matter of personal taste.
There are a lot of very sexy Lady's on Fab.who don't want a finger or tongue near them,don't want to be kissed or fondled.
Just as there are many Guys who don't eat pussy or that want a "romantic" "intimate" meet.
The absence of this willingness to take part can be disappointing for both sexes,but this reluctance doesn't make for a less sexy person.
Thankfully most of us[sic] do enjoy a degree of foreplay.
The fact that 99% of Guys will never refuse a blowjob but only a much smaller percentage of Guys will recipricate does seem to the Lady's to be too one sided.
Maybe you Lady members should remind some of the Guys on here that without you Girls this would be a lonely site for them.
Maybe the advise that all the good sex guides give may apply??
Talk to eachother!! |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"Somewhat remiss of me to think you meant ALL single guys. I therefore eat humble pie and apologise. "
No apology needed now or ever.. We all have opinions and if I said sorry everytime I was mistaken, we'd have no time for fun! BUT.. I really appreciate you having the humility to say as much. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No you aint doing anything wrong it is just that you aint met the right person / couple some of us men love taking our time giving lots of oral pleasure to the woman and it makes us exceptionally horny when she gets very wet and moans when licking and flicking her clit hmmmm lovely xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Somewhat remiss of me to think you meant ALL single guys. I therefore eat humble pie and apologise.
No apology needed now or ever.. We all have opinions and if I said sorry everytime I was mistaken, we'd have no time for fun! BUT.. I really appreciate you having the humility to say as much. "
Very true indeed.Must not miss out on the fun |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never mind the foreplay (I did have to google it), the last few meets I've had the women haven't cooked me dinner. As a result I haven't seen the point in getting my dirty laundry out of the car!! What is the world coming too??
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From the comments made here by various people, it seems to me that a lot of folk are making very poor decisions when they're deciding who they meet and don't meet.
Whether it's single guys, single women or couples, there's plenty of them around here who are less then 100%, but there's also plenty who are 110% genuine.
It's up to YOU, whether you're male, female, or a couple, to make the right choice!
Then you wouldn't need to break into threads like this, moaning!!
Just my opinion/observation!! |
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By *umourCouple
over a year ago
Rushden |
"From the comments made here by various people, it seems to me that a lot of folk are making very poor decisions when they're deciding who they meet and don't meet."
At last, a soothsayer who can tell us his sectret of how to tell if someone is genuine or not! If someone will actually complete the "contract" before actually getting in a play situation!
So come on, tell us the secret, o'master
As I said before, we now take word of mouth and validations into account when choosing playmates. Sadly, not worth getting new guys as our time is very limited, let someone else do the legwork! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From the comments made here by various people, it seems to me that a lot of folk are making very poor decisions when they're deciding who they meet and don't meet.
Whether it's single guys, single women or couples, there's plenty of them around here who are less then 100%, but there's also plenty who are 110% genuine.
It's up to YOU, whether you're male, female, or a couple, to make the right choice!
Then you wouldn't need to break into threads like this, moaning!!
Just my opinion/observation!!"
so tell me, im chatting to a guy, seen him on cam, he looks good, nice to talk to, we get on and i agree to meet him, get to the sex and hes just interested in himself and has no intentions of giving anything to me at all
At what point before the sex should i have known that so i could have made a better choice? 
how can you choose someone whos going to give 110% if you have never met them before
you cant! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Maybe you've been picking the wrong guys?
Maybe they feel intimidated by meeting a couple and feel kissing and being passionate are over stepping boundaries?
Maybe you need to communicate what you expect from the better?
That's all I can think of!
Kissing, passion, touching and licking are so important to me, I'd find it very hard to get into sex without a good build up"
 |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"From the comments made here by various people, it seems to me that a lot of folk are making very poor decisions when they're deciding who they meet and don't meet.
Whether it's single guys, single women or couples, there's plenty of them around here who are less then 100%, but there's also plenty who are 110% genuine.
It's up to YOU, whether you're male, female, or a couple, to make the right choice!
Then you wouldn't need to break into threads like this, moaning!!
Just my opinion/observation!!
so tell me, im chatting to a guy, seen him on cam, he looks good, nice to talk to, we get on and i agree to meet him, get to the sex and hes just interested in himself and has no intentions of giving anything to me at all
At what point before the sex should i have known that so i could have made a better choice?
how can you choose someone whos going to give 110% if you have never met them before
you cant!"
but you can just not have sex with em and show em the door. we would. |
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"I have recently had a few meets and it seems things in the swing world have changed or is it something i am doing?
Every man i have met recently has not done any forplay with me not passion or no sensual touching ect... I always play with the male and always offer oral sex to them if they want it i also show passion and sensuallity but nothing in return. It seems the men i have met just want to have sex, and go.
Is anyone experiencing this it is making me not want to meet any more men as i lovce forplay and oral probeby more than the sex its self.
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me.
surely though if its a 3some you could lead the way and get your fella to start things on that level, im sure most single guys would want to join in if they thought thats what you wanted first "
i was thinking this, our meets tend to build up to the penetration, i hate the term foreplay as its all sex. If the OP wants to do more than penetration then there are two people who can take the lead...
i would also look at selection criteria, it is rare a man even asks to start actual penetration when we have mmf, i usually initiate that side of things. i think its because we meet respectful men who enjoy exploring their sensual side. Which may be why we have never had a bad threesome.
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As in life itself there's a lot of men who will tell a women anything she wants to hear to get into her knickers so it will be hard to find the genuine people but most like myself take as much if not more pleasure knowing we have given a lady what she wants and then some before enjoying our bit of fun but on the flipside women can also be selfish because let's face it when it comes to bjs most women I've met get off on it but when it comes to sex will only do positions or activities that they get the greater pleasure from for instance an ex of mine who was up for most things loved sucking cock and being fucked doggy style and anal loved it rough and being stroked and kissed all over nothing wrong with that but didn't do any stroking kissing of my body wouldn't go on top(my fave) and if I hadn't come before she had had her fun she would just roll over and go to sleep leaving me hanging which altered my performance technique making sure I stopped her from coming until I knew I was ready to come my point is there is selfish men and women but just maybe on some occasions we perform based on previous experiences still thinking that is what the other is wanting or expecting...to reiterate a previous comment its good to talk |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have recently had a few meets and it seems things in the swing world have changed or is it something i am doing?
Every man i have met recently has not done any forplay with me not passion or no sensual touching ect... I always play with the male and always offer oral sex to them if they want it i also show passion and sensuallity but nothing in return. It seems the men i have met just want to have sex, and go.
Is anyone experiencing this it is making me not want to meet any more men as i lovce forplay and oral probeby more than the sex its self.
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me.
It will be women like me that tell them no foerplay I like cum and go.. lol
Cali"
Same here |
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"I have recently had a few meets and it seems things in the swing world have changed or is it something i am doing?
Every man i have met recently has not done any forplay with me not passion or no sensual touching ect... I always play with the male and always offer oral sex to them if they want it i also show passion and sensuallity but nothing in return. It seems the men i have met just want to have sex, and go.
Is anyone experiencing this it is making me not want to meet any more men as i lovce forplay and oral probeby more than the sex its self.
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me. "
I have to say that for me foreplay is probably more enjoyable and capable of giving more in depth hot erotic pleasure and I'm very happy to just enjoys evenings of this kind of fun! |
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"I have recently had a few meets and it seems things in the swing world have changed or is it something i am doing?
Every man i have met recently has not done any forplay with me not passion or no sensual touching ect... I always play with the male and always offer oral sex to them if they want it i also show passion and sensuallity but nothing in return. It seems the men i have met just want to have sex, and go.
Is anyone experiencing this it is making me not want to meet any more men as i lovce forplay and oral probeby more than the sex its self.
If it is something i am doing wrong please advise me. "
Different people like different things. I am like yourself I love foreplay, oral, kissing, cuddling etc. Maybe before your next meet you should make sure the person or persons you are meeting also like the sensual side of sex. |
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