FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Single guys what's more nerve racking - Going solo to a club or going to a couples house for a 3sum?
Single guys what's more nerve racking - Going solo to a club or going to a couples house for a 3sum?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Single guys what's more nerve racking - Going solo to a club or going to a couples house for a 3sum?
Asking this because a few single male posters seem reluctant / nervous about going to a club alone but they don't (potentially) have the same apprehensions about going to someone's home for a meet.
Just curious as a couple we find going to a single guys home or a couples home for fun probably more nerve racking than going to the club.
KJ x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmmm well I’ve done both.
For me the club was more nerve wrecking - because I went solo & it was before I even had a meet!
But once you’re used to that environment then it’s smooth sailing |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Breaking that barrier of first move and making conversation at a club is the biggest barrier. If you're invited to a thrresome the groundwork has been done already surely"
Interesting view.
What I will say is a lot of play happens in clubs without any conversation tbh. If you spend some time in the giant bed / orgies room stood politely on the sides with a hard on (and condoms to go) when someone else taps out there's a pretty good chance you will be waved on from the subs bench.
Then a few of the guys we have played with 3sum style has been when they caught our eye in the play areas and we simply waved them over.
For us walking into the clubs (that we go to) you go into the bar area first so its not really that much different (at that stage) to walking into any pub really for us anyway. Obviously it changes once you go to the changing rooms and then down / up to the play areas.
Now going to somebodys house for the the first time (for us anyway) takes a bit more bottle and there's 2 of us to have each other's back so it must be scarier for some people who go on their own. At the end of the day you can chat and chat online but you'll never know exactly what you will walk into until you do. That I guess is part of the buzz to some extent.
KJ x |
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I agree with your comments above but as i have not been to a club yet my views are one sided. As you said part of the buzz going to someones house is the unknown. I must admit i do not feel threatened but as you say things can go wrong but i have not experienced that yet. In general, i believe most people are kind and trusting, but yes the odd lunatic could be out there. Thats where verifications are a good thing i suppose. |
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For me it is probably going to a club for the first time. Once you have been it's fine - unless of course it was a complete disaster first time!  I think it's because you are stepping into a completely new environment where you have no idea who is going to be there, how well they know each other ie will you be the odd one out (potentially in more ways than one), is it the wrong club for you.
Sure, going to a couple's house for a meet is still a bit nerve racking but I would say less so than a club. At least I've had a chat with the couple before going. I think the bigger nerves going to a house for a private meet is to do with how accurate the pics and profile is. |
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Neither give me nerves,, for me, When fortunate enough to be invited to join a couple at theirs, you have been invited, which is the icebreaker already complete, they would not invite you if they did not want you to join them. In regards to clubs, spas etc, I always go with an open approach,,,with no false hopes either way, enjoy the atmosphere, if there is play , that’s an enjoyable bonus. |
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By *aveywMan
over a year ago
tramore |
Definitely going to meet a couple. I’ve done it a few times and first time is always horrendous. Making small talk and trying to gauge how things are going. I find heading to a club no prob at all. Plenty of people to chat too or just watch. But I will say, when it does click with a couple at there place it’s great. Especially if it involves an overnight. |
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I have no problem going to clubs on my own. But I always get nervous as hell when meeting someone from fab on a meet. Not sure why but it's always the same, even if we have had a pre inspection meet |
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Def more nerve racking going to a couple house for the first time. At a club the vibe is relaxed or full-on... you can tell as soons as you arrive. Plus couples who attend clubs pretty much know what they want, with whom and when! At a couples house its more akin to a first date (the TV programme Naked Attraction springs to mind)! |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"Single guys what's more nerve racking - Going solo to a club or going to a couples house for a 3sum?"
Going to a couple's house for the first time, definitely. With a club there's no expectation of anything. You turn up, and whatever happens happens. For my first visit, I was expecting to not play.
With meeting for a threesome, everyone is expecting the threesome. There's more pressure, and with new people you can't know how it will go.
Even with a couple that you know, there's always the fear of having an off night and letting them down. |
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For me its going to a club as if youre going to a couples house then you already know them and are going there for a reason.
I used to go clubs on my own and sit at bar and just chat to staff as i dont find it easy to talk to people whereas house its simpler as the people youre going to see will be chatting to you.
Saying that ive taken 7 to 8 months off so back to nervous attending clubs on own |
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"Single guys what's more nerve racking - Going solo to a club or going to a couples house for a 3sum?
Going to a couple's house for the first time, definitely. With a club there's no expectation of anything. You turn up, and whatever happens happens. For my first visit, I was expecting to not play.
With meeting for a threesome, everyone is expecting the threesome. There's more pressure, and with new people you can't know how it will go.
Even with a couple that you know, there's always the fear of having an off night and letting them down."
This  . Plus I always have a concern in the back of my mind about meeting a nutter, no matter how unlikely. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Single guys what's more nerve racking - Going solo to a club or going to a couples house for a 3sum?
Asking this because a few single male posters seem reluctant / nervous about going to a club alone but they don't (potentially) have the same apprehensions about going to someone's home for a meet.
Just curious as a couple we find going to a single guys home or a couples home for fun probably more nerve racking than going to the club.
KJ x "
Club for me. Not necessarily nerve wracking, but not something I'm really into solo. If you've been invited for a threesome the groundwork has already been laid. I'm on fab because I don't really have time for clubbing. Of course, one of the first thing lots of people say is, 'Get yourself to a club..' |
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By *abioMan
over a year ago
Newcastle and Gateshead |
for me definately going to a house.... because you are going into unknown territory, so if it goes "pear shaped" you absolutely have to have a plan for getting out of that situation
whereas with a club, because it is neutral territory, if it doesn't work out you can both go your merry way, and you can always talk to other people....
too many single guys are of the thought that it is the playing thats the be all and end all.... i think its the people that make the night |
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"Single guys what's more nerve racking - Going solo to a club or going to a couples house for a 3sum?
Asking this because a few single male posters seem reluctant / nervous about going to a club alone but they don't (potentially) have the same apprehensions about going to someone's home for a meet.
Just curious as a couple we find going to a single guys home or a couples home for fun probably more nerve racking than going to the club.
KJ x "
I would say or me going to a club - than going to someone’s house. I always meet in a bar/pub first - so everyone gets to know everyone else. So going to a couples house feels less of a burden. Going to club as single guy feels much more nerve racking as you are can just be standing there with no one too talk to/interact with. Reminded me of teenage age disco... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say a club takes more courage. I went to a club on my own and I am only bicurious at this stage rather than full bisexual. That took courage really as did not know what to expect and first time being around so many women in a sexual context. I did not do anything but will do a second attempt at a club now I have a feel what it is about |
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It's definitely more nerve-wracking going solo to a club, than visiting a couple at their home. Being invited to someone's home, you're there because they want you to be, and you're in a relaxed, no-rush environment. In a club, you're likely to be one of many single guys, and depending on who is in while you are, what you may expect a swingers' club to be, and how welcoming you thought people are inside, you may leave overcome by indifference |
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No scenario is more nerve wracking in my opinion, I think the first step is to learn how to spin ladies, if you cannot do this as a guy , you are likely to open yourself to all kinds of manipulations.
It simply involves complimenting the ladies and telling them what they want to hear, it has no effect on you as a guy when you practice but works well with the ladies , its also a confidence and numbers game.
I think if you are successful here then the rest will follow. Going to the club or going to see a genuine couple will not be an issue, however, if you cannot handle having multiple women then it would be difficult |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'd be more nervous going to a club for the first time on my own, I'm not even sure that I could bring myself to do it.
Going to a couples house for a threesome sounds pretty easy going, I'm sure I'd get nervous walking up to their door though...  |
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First time solo in a club was a bit nervy but soon relaxed once I'd worked it all out havnt looked back sine unless on all fours looking in the mirror haha
Going to a couples house for the first time is always excitement and nerves mixed together bit like going on a first date as you never know what to expect and who you are actualyx meeting bit all great experiances so far! |
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