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How to introduce new gf to swinging
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By *amisback OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Hey,
So I've started seeing a girl through Tinder.
Nothing serious at this stage, we've been on a handful of dates.
How and when do I bring up the fact I like this sort of lifestyle.
I've already fantasized about her in a MMF, swapping etc.
Any suggestions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hey,
So I've started seeing a girl through Tinder.
Nothing serious at this stage, we've been on a handful of dates.
How and when do I bring up the fact I like this sort of lifestyle.
I've already fantasized about her in a MMF, swapping etc.
Any suggestions? "
As long as you don't approach it in a creepy, imposing manner, then you'll probably be alright. Unless she's very upright, in which case she's probably not the girl for you.
As another poster points out; if it's genuinely an important part of your life that you don't want to give up then you're better mentioning it sooner rather than later. However, you don't want it to seem like you're just putting your fantasies onto her.
Perhaps try and start off the conversation by taking an interest in her sexual desires and focus on getting her to open up a little. She's naturally going to ask you about yours and then it's a great opportunity to share them. Maybe don't mention that you've fantasised about her in those scenarios yet because it may come across a bit strong (unless she seems really receptive to it, in that case, go for it!)
Good luck OP  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Personally Id just ask for her thoughts on swinging and see what she knows about it and her reaction. Alot of people still have that 'keys in a bowl' mindset and then just tell her it's something you have dabbled in and see if shes open to the idea. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You could always use the "have you ever" approach like have you ever been part of an orgy and so on and if say done it to all of them then you will have a conversation starter for swinging. |
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A few weeks after we'd become a couple, we were watching a porno shot in La Chambre and I said "would you like to do that?" She said "yes" so we went there the next Saturday. The first club visit for either of us, and we loved it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have tried to approach this a couple of times and have learnt that if I want that sort of relationship it's better to find it on here.
The general consensus seems to be non-swingers on traditional dating sites. Trying to subtly say I am into this sort of lifestyle has always ended up with us going our separate ways…. Just in my experience that is |
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Had this situation before!!
Start buy saying during sex
Wow you look good
Bet we look so hot right now!
Imagine another couple watching us!
Wait for her response!!! If she replies on the positive side say !! but you look so bloody hot they would get turned on and what if the wife's husband wanted to touch your fantastic breasts????
What if he had an amazing huge cock ????
Wait for her response and you have planted the seed of swing !! |
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"I'd have discussed it BEFORE she became my girlfriend. "
Yep... This... Always best to get that discussion done before any emotional connection is made. That way it avoids the pain of a partner who expects and wants monogamy discovering you have a different lifestyle.
To the OP... As soon as possible. Mention that you've tried swinging in the past. Have you and she discussed sexual preferences yet? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'd have discussed it BEFORE she became my girlfriend.
Yep... This... Always best to get that discussion done before any emotional connection is made. That way it avoids the pain of a partner who expects and wants monogamy discovering you have a different lifestyle.
To the OP... As soon as possible. Mention that you've tried swinging in the past. Have you and she discussed sexual preferences yet? "
I make it quite clear on the dating site that I'm looking for casual. One of my pics has my top off on Tinder ffs  I never bring sex into conversation till they do.. then its the perfect time to be honest about being on here. BEFORE you hop into bed with them.
You'd be surprised how much it doesn't put them off shopping into bed with you.. emotion free fun.. even if they dont want to hop into bed with others.
Its really very easy if you stop hiding WHO YOU ARE.
Well.. it's not easy. It's easier than hiding WHAT YOU ARE. |
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"What is wrong with just saying outright? Not communicating is the cause of 100% of relationship difficulties.
This  "
Obviously you don't announce in the middle of your first glass of wine together that unless she's prepared to have a 10 man gang bang every Thursday evening there's no point getting another round in.  |
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If you think this relationship has legs then I think you need to discuss it openly and in an adult manner and be fully prepared to make a decision whether you value your partner or lifestyle the most. If she is keen to explore then all good, and you get to do that together, but if not then then you have some thinking to do. Dropping hints or skirting around the issue isn’t going to benefit either of you in the long run. |
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Myself and Nauti met through a dating app.
One our first date Nauti asked me for a person CV (jokey request). I had a few hours to kill one evening so wrote one up for her.
Made it light hearted, full of jokes, informative, but also teasing. A great way to have loads of ice breakers from the get go.
In this CV I did mention that I had a very wild past. And I left it at that. Something to intrigue her.
It wasn't too long into the second date when Nauti was asking about my wild past.... and to my surprise Nauti had one too!
Even though we had no intentions of coming back into this lifestyle, as we wanted to concentrate on each other, this little ice breaker method made it easier to broach the subject. Further down the line, we discussed it more and more. Eventually we're putting on shows in clubs and now looking to make friends and friendlier friends
Might be an idea you could take.
Moley |
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By *ilkenWoman
over a year ago
Manchester |
"Hey,
So I've started seeing a girl through Tinder.
Nothing serious at this stage, we've been on a handful of dates.
How and when do I bring up the fact I like this sort of lifestyle.
I've already fantasized about her in a MMF, swapping etc.
Any suggestions? "
Sound it out be cautious and see what her reaction is. Or just tell her the truth about your past though the second could be explosive reaction wise. In reality its hard to say it depends on the woman and her outlook and values I guess. |
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"Show her pictures of people you have flicked off fab, think the reaction may give you clues to the next step.
Hate it when the phone flicks up the vowels."
It ducks up the ducking consonants as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hey,
So I've started seeing a girl through Tinder.
Nothing serious at this stage, we've been on a handful of dates.
How and when do I bring up the fact I like this sort of lifestyle.
I've already fantasized about her in a MMF, swapping etc.
Any suggestions? "
You have had a few dates and already want to swing with her? Get to know her first. Get your relationship going properly. |
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I (Bobby) was a swinger b4 I was with Rosie and I told her early on b4 we started dating that I attended clubs and was bi I stoped when we started dating and recently she's agreed to try clubs and here took a while but it's wel worth it in the end |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Firstly think about whether she might be the sort of girl you would be prepared to give up this lifestyle for. If so proceed in a subtle manner and be prepared to back off if you are not getting the vibe back. You can continue to hint now and then but if she is not going for it then it is not a problem as she is more important right?
If however it is swinging or nothing then it is better to get it out in the open sooner than later. The longer a relationship has been going the more difficult it is to suddenly change direction. Visiting a club with the rule there will be NO playing just watching is a great way to start and to see how much it interests her. |
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By *amisback OP Man
over a year ago
Newcastle |
Hey everyone, thanks for your all advice here.
I trialled the suggestion of while we are fucking to discuss potential scenarios. This went down well and we got talking.
Clearly I randomly picked well as she had similar interests but never lived them out.
We are now going through some fantasies outloud. Who knows when they will be played out.
Thanks everyone, I really do love Fab! |
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