FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How do you leave?
How do you leave?
Jump to: Newest in thread
Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
 |
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Its a bit like the advert for wash n go . Rules are ww fuck ... you leave ... i want you back il let you know .. i want you to stay ... il ask . Untill then put on profile .. no over nights unless asked its fuck n fuck off till then  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Its a bit like the advert for wash n go . Rules are ww fuck ... you leave ... i want you back il let you know .. i want you to stay ... il ask . Untill then put on profile .. no over nights unless asked its fuck n fuck off till then "
Sage advice also  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"So, throw them out before they have a chance to leave voluntarily... It's an option  "
Honestly, this is what I'd do if I accommodated. I used to do it to a guy I was shagging years ago, id just be like 'right, time to fuck off now, I've got things to do'. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Honestly, this is what I'd do if I accommodated. I used to do it to a guy I was shagging years ago, id just be like 'right, time to fuck off now, I've got things to do'."
haha Love it.....BRUTAL  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"
Honestly, this is what I'd do if I accommodated. I used to do it to a guy I was shagging years ago, id just be like 'right, time to fuck off now, I've got things to do'.
haha Love it.....BRUTAL "
But necessary, if I hadnt done that then I'd have had all the after sex cuddling etc and I didn't want that. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Honestly, this is what I'd do if I accommodated. I used to do it to a guy I was shagging years ago, id just be like 'right, time to fuck off now, I've got things to do'.
haha Love it.....BRUTAL
But necessary, if I hadnt done that then I'd have had all the after sex cuddling etc and I didn't want that."
No after sex cuddles....I'm feeling used for him!!!   
Loving It....Brutal Honesty....always the best!! Haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *eeleyWoman
over a year ago
Dudley |
"
Honestly, this is what I'd do if I accommodated. I used to do it to a guy I was shagging years ago, id just be like 'right, time to fuck off now, I've got things to do'.
haha Love it.....BRUTAL
But necessary, if I hadnt done that then I'd have had all the after sex cuddling etc and I didn't want that.
No after sex cuddles....I'm feeling used for him!!!
Loving It....Brutal Honesty....always the best!! Haha "
We were using each other |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
You do know guys have feelings too right? Lol
Maybe get up first, pick your clothes up and go into the bathroom to get dressed so you don't see him get up. Then after call out do you want a cup of tea before you go would be a polite way to do it? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *inkyNinjaWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere over the rainbow... |
"
Honestly, this is what I'd do if I accommodated. I used to do it to a guy I was shagging years ago, id just be like 'right, time to fuck off now, I've got things to do'.
haha Love it.....BRUTAL
But necessary, if I hadnt done that then I'd have had all the after sex cuddling etc and I didn't want that.
No after sex cuddles....I'm feeling used for him!!!
Loving It....Brutal Honesty....always the best!! Haha "
I would feel used if there were no post sex cuddles!
I always talk in advance about my post sex expectations that way we’re all on the same page before we meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *lan157Man
over a year ago
a village near Haywards Heath in East Sussex |
OP this is not an usual situation or unusual feelings you are experiencing. My suggestion is that when your man gets up to leave that you also get up and spend a little more time together dressed perhaps having a cup of tea . By being dressed you are on equal terms when he leaves having socialised post sex. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
To be fair, some guys including me would enjoy to be used by a certain person. If a woman from here who I fancied suggested that I be her cock and balls to scratch her itch when she needed a good seeing too then fuck off I’d be game. I wouldn’t want that from all meets but I’d happily be just a dick with a purpose for one |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I always used the get dressed and offer a cuppa.
They usually get the hint.
Although as I can’t accommodate these days due to sharing with loved up newlyweds this is no longer a problem for me. I much prefer the walk of shame no shame lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way?"
It's an expensive suggestion, but hotel and leave together? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I always used the get dressed and offer a cuppa.
They usually get the hint.
Although as I can’t accommodate these days due to sharing with loved up newlyweds this is no longer a problem for me. I much prefer the walk of shame no shame lol"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
You can always give them a time frame and say they have to leave by ‘x time’.
If they argue, tell them that your next meet will be arriving shortly after and the next guy/girl doesn’t do sharing.
Not that I’ve ever done that. . . . |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Not that I’ve ever done that. . . .
.....I'm gonna play the bullshit card on that line if that's okay.... "
Busted.
I didn’t tell them someone else was on the way. But I did make sure they were gone and well down the road :p |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Not that I’ve ever done that. . . .
.....I'm gonna play the bullshit card on that line if that's okay....
Busted.
I didn’t tell them someone else was on the way. But I did make sure they were gone and well down the road :p"
I like your style amusebouche....high five on that....so I'm guessing someone else was on the way....double high five if so....Hahaha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
Not that I’ve ever done that. . . .
.....I'm gonna play the bullshit card on that line if that's okay....
Busted.
I didn’t tell them someone else was on the way. But I did make sure they were gone and well down the road :p
I like your style amusebouche....high five on that....so I'm guessing someone else was on the way....double high five if so....Hahaha "
What can I say? A girl has needs. Some days more so than others |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You do know guys have feelings too right? Lol
Maybe get up first, pick your clothes up and go into the bathroom to get dressed so you don't see him get up. Then after call out do you want a cup of tea before you go would be a polite way to do it? "
#mensfeelingsmatter |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way?"
Hun invite me over or u can come mine .. but I wouldn’t just dive out of bed, I’d perhaps kiss cuddle talk .. then if I feel u want me to go or I want to go .. then politeness is a must and away we go .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
What can I say? A girl has needs. Some days more so than others
.....I just wondering/trying to work out if I'd like to be used is this way by a lady.... "
I’m always very appreciative!
I was brought up with manners and everyone gets a thank you |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way?"
You can always meet at a hotel and choose when you want to leave or stay till checkout then both of you have no choice but to leave
(Check meet section for my West Yorkshire Hotel meet) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I’m always very appreciative!
I was brought up with manners and everyone gets a thank you
.....maybe I would like it than and possibly not sob uncontrollably....  "
I am quite sure I’ve never made anyone cry!!!
Only tears of joy, of course ;p |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
As it's mostly couples coming to me, I'm the one that is left behind. (Sob) Never seems to be a problem, and mostly we meet/part on terms that mean "Here's to the next time", so what's not to like. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Genrally I've tended to spend the night. I don't like being tufted out or feeling used and expended. I don't think it's so much a matter of when you part but how you part. That respect and intrest in the other person should continue to the very end not just untill deed is done. So I'd say a lot of mitigating this feeling has a lot to do with the genuine care and emotional intelligence of the men you meet. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *a LunaWoman
over a year ago
South Wales |
I tend to slide out of the bed under cover of darkness, imagine the Starsky & Hutch bonnet slide, it’s a bit like that but i take half the duvet with me.
Then i creep out of the bedroom, hitting every creaky floorboard. Creep to the toilet. Have a wee and let out an accidental fanny fart (trapped air from all that pounding!) that could wake the dead. I briefly giggle to myself before pulling myself together.
Then i slink off downstairs, try to unlock his fancy UPVC Door without rattling all the keys on his fob.
I open the door. I wince at the daylight. I walk on.
And he’s still in bed asleep in bed!
But seriously, just say “thanks that was great, i’m off now” and go.
Then text or whatever later.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"I tend to slide out of the bed under cover of darkness, imagine the Starsky & Hutch bonnet slide, it’s a bit like that but i take half the duvet with me.
Then i creep out of the bedroom, hitting every creaky floorboard. Creep to the toilet. Have a wee and let out an accidental fanny fart (trapped air from all that pounding!) that could wake the dead. I briefly giggle to myself before pulling myself together.
Then i slink off downstairs, try to unlock his fancy UPVC Door without rattling all the keys on his fob.
I open the door. I wince at the daylight. I walk on.
And he’s still in bed asleep in bed!
But seriously, just say “thanks that was great, i’m off now” and go.
Then text or whatever later.
"
LOVE IT !!!!
....I think I need that escape done on me.....  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
You can always meet at a hotel and choose when you want to leave or stay till checkout then both of you have no choice but to leave
(Check meet section for my West Yorkshire Hotel meet)"
I always come up with the best ideas ...
Nobody ever listens |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You do know guys have feelings too right? Lol
Maybe get up first, pick your clothes up and go into the bathroom to get dressed so you don't see him get up. Then after call out do you want a cup of tea before you go would be a polite way to do it? "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
I only meet at someones house when I have plenty of time so it's not a "cum and go" thing; I love the post sex cuddle and chat and find it easier to leave when that happens otherwise I'd feel terrible. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
If you don't want them hanging around then make it clear up front. Simplest way. Then there are no surprises, hurt feelings or awkwardness. Just tell them that you can accommodate the fun but once it is over you are happy to make them a cup of tea but then you would like them to dress and go. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way?"
This is why I don't do quick meets. I only meet overnight unless I'm in a club. Set them straight first. Tell them you want overnight. I find those that get up quick and get dressed have a partner at home. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for all your help. I've private messaged a few of you, but I don't want to air my personal hang ups on a forum
You've all been great x"
Would you be nice enough and say who gave the best advice on this thread |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Create your own ritual for how that type of meet ends and you say goodbye. You may need to experiment to get it right and I would role play it a few times, perhaps with a friend.
Work out what it is that you have lost or need, based on how it's been to date, then ensure that your alternative option has you completely brimming with this, so you're not in deficit.
It may help if you could shag in a different room, or have sex differently - standing up, on the floor, the landing etc.
Changing your posture when you bring the meet to a close, will also potentially keep your emotions moving in a certain way, that helps you retain control - it's also a non verbal cue to him, before any words, that you are moving things on. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Another way to tell them to leave is don’t invite them to your bed! If I get any meets always play down stair your bed is your personal space & it’s only a meet nothing more! And also that way you would be in control of the situation i’d Only invite someone to my bed if I was seeing them |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way?"
Shout out of the window "next"
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another way to tell them to leave is don’t invite them to your bed! If I get any meets always play down stair your bed is your personal space & it’s only a meet nothing more! And also that way you would be in control of the situation i’d Only invite someone to my bed if I was seeing them "
Is a hotel not the best possible solution ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Another way to tell them to leave is don’t invite them to your bed! If I get any meets always play down stair your bed is your personal space & it’s only a meet nothing more! And also that way you would be in control of the situation i’d Only invite someone to my bed if I was seeing them
Is a hotel not the best possible solution ? "
Check thread Mama Mia, Here I go again in meets section. Don't ask me why I called it that haha
I just did |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"....so... To furthermore the scientific aspect if this thread....
I can confirm I leave sobbing uncontrollably like a sad blubbering mess... "
I think you are in more need of a counsellor, than a hot steamy meet!
Sending you mega hugs Jizzy!! x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
I think you are in more need of a counsellor, than a hot steamy meet!
Sending you mega hugs Jizzy!! x"
....funily enough.....my counsellor said I need to get out in the real world more, rather than making made up issues on silly forums....apparently its and unhealthy obsession.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way? It's an expensive suggestion, but hotel and leave together?"
Not that expensive! You can go for a meal and it costs the same as hiring a room! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Ok, so I'm new to this lifestyle. I've met men in clubs, at their house and at mine. The first two I have no issue with, but I find that when a man comes to my house I struggle. The first two leave me feeling satisfied and empowered, whereas when a man gets out of MY bed and gets dressed, straight after, I feel a bit deflated and used.
Obviously the answer is to not accommodate - but it set me thinking. What's the best leaving strategy for a one time meet? What do I need to say or do to stop me feeling this way? It's an expensive suggestion, but hotel and leave together?
Not that expensive! You can go for a meal and it costs the same as hiring a room! "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Thanks for all your help. I've private messaged a few of you, but I don't want to air my personal hang ups on a forum
You've all been great x
Would you be nice enough and say who gave the best advice on this thread "
Clearly it was you. You advised me like I've never been advised before! If I could let you advise me all night I would. You blew my mind...
Seriously, though, everyone helped. From my current issues to potential future ones. So thanks x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Two words...Dayuse hotels...or is that three "
This! I'm always willing to cover the costs as they are not even that high and its neutral ground so you can up and leave if you feel you need to. I personally don't mind women hanging around but I understand why you ask as it can be quite awkward if you're not both on the same page |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks for all your help. I've private messaged a few of you, but I don't want to air my personal hang ups on a forum
You've all been great x
Would you be nice enough and say who gave the best advice on this thread
Clearly it was you. You advised me like I've never been advised before! If I could let you advise me all night I would. You blew my mind...
Seriously, though, everyone helped. From my current issues to potential future ones. So thanks x "
Thank you for the kind words.
Seriously though if you are looking to be advised all night I would be happy to oblige xx
I can't seem to get through your filters |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Get the dick out of my house now boy....I'm done with you....you've served your purpose....I've left £1.20 downstairs on the side for your bus fair home.... "
Don't forget to shout 'bus wanker' at them as they leave your door |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
Hahaha