FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Hotels... who should pay?
Hotels... who should pay?
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So I’ve had an interesting chat tonight and the expectation was that as I am the single guy I should pay for the hotel ... now i don’t have a problem if that the done thing!
But... hehe buuuut if it’s mutual pleasure/ satisfaction surely both parties need each other in this equation and hence shared cost ? Yes ? No?
Hahaha in the end I cancelled the meet because it was made out that it’s my duty...
Over reacting? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we organise a meeting whilst away, we do not expect any payment.
Should we mutually agree with another party, then, 50/50.
If the other party, guy/couple/single lady, say they want to invite us to their hotel room, we would assume they were happy to pay.
It has posed a problem or two for us, previously. |
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"All parties should share costs equally as I see it though should couples pay half meeting a single or 2/3s im not exactly sure about.
Couple or single half half I feel is fair ... "
Granted but then there are 3 people and 3 lots of pleasure. If it were 3 singles you would expect 1/3rd each so where do you draw the line. |
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"If we organise a meeting whilst away, we do not expect any payment.
Should we mutually agree with another party, then, 50/50.
If the other party, guy/couple/single lady, say they want to invite us to their hotel room, we would assume they were happy to pay.
It has posed a problem or two for us, previously."
Exactly if I was organising or inviting fair enough I’d be happy to pay, this was more when we got down to where and when we both chatted about the hotel then like I said the expectation became mine.... lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I will always offer to pay full if it was within the budget I could afford.
I used to see a lady who I would travel about 300 mile round trip and she would pay for the hotel, which was a reasonable arrangement  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Should pay half unless one of you offer to pay the full cost. So say I had to drive an hour or more to the hotel and he lived 10mins from it .. he may suggest he pays for the hotel which would be a nice gesture but I would gladly pay half even if he didn't offer to pay in full.
If you really like each other and desperate to meet then you it makes sense to go halves. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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No one party sould be expected to pay when it's a hotel meet. If someone has a room already, that is a different matter. Single males are not responsible for paying for anyone but themselves regardless of lack of muffage and costs should be shared, you are all meant to be there for mutual fun, no? |
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"No one party sould be expected to pay when it's a hotel meet. If someone has a room already, that is a different matter. Single males are not responsible for paying for anyone but themselves regardless of lack of muffage and costs should be shared, you are all meant to be there for mutual fun, no? "
This. If they have the room anyway, fair enough. If they're getting it specially, split. |
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"So just to be clear I’m not tight and would gladly have paid, the thing that rubbed me up the wrong way was the expectation that it was my responsibility... "
Yeah, I think these things should be negotiated not expected. |
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"Couples pay. It's only polite. Unicorn is the guest.
Otherwise ...no firm rule for me. Maybe the man pays first time, I pay second works best for me .."
I don’t mind some arrangement or negotiation the truth is it made me feel like I was paying for sex ... I don’t like how that felt  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If we already have a room then we pay.
If we and the other guy/couple decide to book a room specifically for fun then we pay halves.
If we want to keep the room then we book and he/they pay us half.
If he/they want to keep the room then he books and then we pay them our half. |
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By *ustBoWoman
over a year ago
Somewhere in Co. Down |
I'd always pay half if it was an agreed meet. If I decided to book a hotel and then invited someone then I would cover the cost.Just because you are a single guy you shouldn't be expected to cover it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If we already have a room then we pay.
If we and the other guy/couple decide to book a room specifically for fun then we pay halves.
If we want to keep the room then we book and he/they pay us half.
If he/they want to keep the room then he books and then we pay them our half."
^^ This. |
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By *eah BabyCouple
over a year ago
Cheshire, Windermere ,Cumbria |
If we stay in the room overnight we have always paid if meeting a single guy as we only tend to meet at hotels if we are out and about anyway, theres was one occasion where we met for afternoon sex and nobody was keeping the room, he offered to pay but we said to split it, if we meet a couple then each couples usually have a room each anyway so no problem. So would probably say split the cost especially if neither party are staying over night, if that be couples, single guys or single females, all there for the same reason so why should just one pay, unless one is travelling a long distance of course. Hmmm complicated |
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By *adMerWoman
over a year ago
Sandwich |
I am torn about this question. In all fairness it should be 50/50, but I am poor and can’t afford hotels. I also can’t accommodate and don’t like to travel far.
That said I am also in demand, so would be far more likely to meet if the guy or couple were offering to pay for the hotel.
I certainly wouldn’t pay on my card and then let the guy give me the cash as has been suggested a number of times.
Also it would depend whether we had already met for a social because if we hadn’t then there wouldn’t be any guarantee of sexy shenanigans.
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By *anB451Man
over a year ago
Reading |
It should be up to the people involved to decide. Some are happy to share costs. Some dont for a variety of reasons. At the end of the day there probably isn't a "done thing" it's just what you're both comfortable with |
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By *r TriomanMan
over a year ago
Chippenham Malmesbury area |
"All parties should share costs equally as I see it though should couples pay half meeting a single or 2/3s im not exactly sure about.
Couple or single half half I feel is fair ...
Granted but then there are 3 people and 3 lots of pleasure. If it were 3 singles you would expect 1/3rd each so where do you draw the line. "
Plus, if the couple stay the night and the single guy is only there for two hours, base on a 24 hour stay, shouldn't he only pay a third of 2/24th (1/36th)?
Basically, what you pay is what you're happy to pay, no logical sums required, after-all, like the OP, you can always decline. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Whoever is staying the night?
Whoever suggested a hotel?
Half and half?
Can't say it's ever really been an issue...if I can't afford a hotel meet, I wouldn't have one, unless they offered to and we're happy to pay. |
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Whoever arrives first or books the room should pay at the desk and then the other people involved should then pay 1/2 back to that person. Just our opinion.
If we were to meet a single female at a hotel we would pay half x |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
There is no hard and fast rule or etiquette but for me it would always be 50/50 (or an even split if more people) which removes any sense of expectation or obligation on anyones part.
I also always give the other person the choice of booking the room or me doing so - happy either way, but know some ladies prefer to have the room in their name - if they book it, always offer to get the money to them beforehand (which has never been accepted).
Likewise if it's a social with a view to more, and we're booking a hotel "just in case" I make it clear that if either of us decides it will remain just a social that they get the room but I still pay half.
However I don't tend to meet until a connection and trust of sorts has been built so there never tends to be any issues around any of the above and we discuss it like adults before going ahead. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it depends on the situation.
On the whole I say 50/50 unless one has the room anyway.
I met a guy for a social a while back, it went well so a few days later he suggested meeting again.
I was more than happy to, I told him I could accommodate but he insisted on booking a hotel. The day before the meet he said he wanted me to pay half. I said I wasn't prepared to do that as I could accommodate. He got rather nasty so needless to say we didn't meet again. |
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Arrangements are whatever works for people but an expectation that a guy pays seems wrong. If someone was going to use a room for an overnight stay, it's reasonable that it's not split in half, for the person who is just there for a shorter period.
I don't tend to meet anyone who is demanding, as it's unattractive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couples who meet single men often come across time wasters. Especially on this site.
As a reassurance that I’m serious about the meet ( and not one of the guys that say they will turn up, but they don’t) I like to pay for the hotel on the first meet.
Then, wants that rapport and trust is built up, on the second meet we can split or I’ll offer to pay again (if they are worth it haha)
Generally, I think the very first meet should be paid by the single guy.
When I used to play with my fwb, normally we would have a room and the they couple would have a room too, so no problem. Or we would split the costs
I think the above is fair tbh, in my opinion. |
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By *adyA01Woman
over a year ago
Wellington |
As a single lady who occasionally travels for business, I am happy to pay for a hotel, and I wouldn't expect a contribution from someone I had invited...
If it is an arranged hotel meet, always happy to pay 50/50...
Some guys insist on paying, I am ok with that if thats what they want, but then I would probably get drinks etc.. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couples pay. It's only polite. Unicorn is the guest.
Otherwise ...no firm rule for me. Maybe the man pays first time, I pay second works best for me ..
I don’t mind some arrangement or negotiation the truth is it made me feel like I was paying for sex ... I don’t like how that felt "
That's exactly what it was. Some couples demand the man 'pays' 'for the hotel'. And gifts.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Couples pay. It's only polite. Unicorn is the guest.
Otherwise ...no firm rule for me. Maybe the man pays first time, I pay second works best for me ..
I don’t mind some arrangement or negotiation the truth is it made me feel like I was paying for sex ... I don’t like how that felt
That's exactly what it was. Some couples demand the man 'pays' 'for the hotel'. And gifts.... "
Sounds like the man is being taken for a ride and the couple's are taking advantage.
Then I say if guys are prepared to do it that's up to them.
Not my business ... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So just to be clear I’m not tight and would gladly have paid, the thing that rubbed me up the wrong way was the expectation that it was my responsibility... "
Going by that post I would say you did not over react. Different dynamics/scenarios with these things so not always the same answer, but "expecting" someone to pay just like that without any discussion is a no no... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’ve paid for the hotel more times than anyone else has. I’d never expect someone else to pick it up if i instigated the meet in a hotel!"
Exactly this. We go and stay somewhere and then invite people to join us. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If I suggest a hotel, then I'm willing to pay. Usually though I'm using the hotel anyway and would pay whether he is there or not.
If he offers to contribute then I tell him he can provide wine and food
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
If a couple or a single are already staying at a hotel and they want a contribution from me as a single guy then I have no problem with that.If I have met a couple or a single lady and they would like to take things further then we should split the cost.If they insist I pay then I will pay as long as it’s within my budget. |
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When meeting ladies I have always paid, always will. They have always offered and I politely declined.
That said if someone insisted in a ‘you will pay’ type of way, then I would probably cancel the date.
HG |
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