FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Who do we think
Who do we think
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So when contacting cpls as a male when you do get a reply, ( it does happen!) who do you think it is saying no thanks the lady or the guy or both?
Be interesting to hear from cpls.
Who would say it’s the guy because the guy contacting maybe better looking, have bigger equipment etc but the lady would.
Or the lady as she he doesn’t appeal but the guy thinks he would be suitable?
Thoughts all?
Or the |
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Our only criteria is that one or both of us think we're not compatible for one reason or another.
I'm often surprised that single people imagine that couples reject due to issues they have around body size, shape etc. because plenty of singles won't meet those they feel are younger or in better shape.
If we like the look of someone and they like the look of us it's all good |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If the man is straight, I have the final decision since I'm the one that would need the attraction. Adam would never make the decision for me unless he knows that I wouldn't find him attractive or he comes across as a giant douchebag.
If he is bi, we both make the decision but since we have never found one Adam wants to play with, the decision falls to me for a straight MMF.
If it's a female, we both have to find her attractive as Adam isn't interested in playing with women that are playing straight.
If it's a couple, we both have to find them attractive depending on the dynamic of the meet.
Eve. X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As a couple , it is me mr d that filters the messages,friends requests etc ,
Mrs d ultimately does have the final choice of the filtered messages.
I know what she likes and I know her type , and we are finding that me being in control and being the "organiser" is all part of the turn on for her.
If she filtered the messages no one would get through she hates the idea of messaging and organising . She is a more in the moment person ...
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By *AYENCouple
over a year ago
Lincolnshire |
For Niki, the face is the most important aspect of initial attraction. I pretty much know what she likes and what she doesn't and if I'm not sure I ask her.
I doubt any husbands are deleting because someone's better looking than them as we want what our wife desires. The same applies to all physical aspects of a potential meet.
If messages get deleted before being read it's usually sure to a mismatch with something on their profile.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it’s a joint decision. Looks are most important to M.
However I have been tasked with finding and inviting another guy over for MMF so looked for what I know M would enjoy  |
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"So when contacting cpls as a male when you do get a reply, ( it does happen!) who do you think it is saying no thanks the lady or the guy or both?
Be interesting to hear from cpls.
Who would say it’s the guy because the guy contacting maybe better looking, have bigger equipment etc but the lady would.
Or the lady as she he doesn’t appeal but the guy thinks he would be suitable?
Thoughts all?
Or the"
Could be either with us!
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"I don't think "I'm better than he is" is a constructive thing to contemplate tbh. "
Agree! Not a thing. Unless you have a cuckold dynamic and are looking for a bull, it's not a competition between the men. |
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"I don't think "I'm better than he is" is a constructive thing to contemplate tbh.
Agree! Not a thing. Unless you have a cuckold dynamic and are looking for a bull, it's not a competition between the men."
For many it's a case of comparison rather than competition. A lot of people compare themselves unfavourably to previous meets or one of the partners and won't meet for that reason |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun |
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By *cgkcCouple
over a year ago
Hitchin |
"As a couple , it is me mr d that filters the messages,friends requests etc ,
Mrs d ultimately does have the final choice of the filtered messages.
I know what she likes and I know her type , and we are finding that me being in control and being the "organiser" is all part of the turn on for her.
If she filtered the messages no one would get through she hates the idea of messaging and organising . She is a more in the moment person ...
"
This sounds just like us! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So when contacting cpls as a male when you do get a reply, ( it does happen!) who do you think it is saying no thanks the lady or the guy or both?
Be interesting to hear from cpls.
Who would say it’s the guy because the guy contacting maybe better looking, have bigger equipment etc but the lady would.
Or the lady as she he doesn’t appeal but the guy thinks he would be suitable?
Thoughts all?
Or the"
it's always the male  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So when contacting cpls as a male when you do get a reply, ( it does happen!) who do you think it is saying no thanks the lady or the guy or both?
Be interesting to hear from cpls.
Who would say it’s the guy because the guy contacting maybe better looking, have bigger equipment etc but the lady would.
Or the lady as she he doesn’t appeal but the guy thinks he would be suitable?
Thoughts all?
Or the"
I ( wife) say no thanks all the time, sometimes I sign things from him if I feel like it will make someone not push.
He doesn’t choose which men I speak to or am attracted to and being on a site like this you can’t be paranoid about the size of your junk. It’s not better it’s different.
But also his is very nice anyway, not seen many that I find more appealing, just different 
If we were to invite a single male it would be me who would choose the man but him who could veto if he didn’t feel comfortable. We would have a social and go from there checking in with each other and making mural decisions, but initially it’s up to me and my attraction. - Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So when contacting cpls as a male when you do get a reply, ( it does happen!) who do you think it is saying no thanks the lady or the guy or both?
Be interesting to hear from cpls.
Who would say it’s the guy because the guy contacting maybe better looking, have bigger equipment etc but the lady would.
Or the lady as she he doesn’t appeal but the guy thinks he would be suitable?
Thoughts all?
Or theit's always the male "
No it’s not. It’s me , the female, in our case. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We make decisions together but a thought out message and a face pic no dick pic will usually at least get an answer even if someone isn’t for us. Personality matters most of all to me, then face, then body.
We both use the profile and answer messages and post on forums but I talk to people more. |
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"By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun"
By attributes do you mean a bigger cock? Women really aren't that shallow. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In general Daisy is the one doing the picking. We then have our own set criteria as a couple, like distance etc so might be rejected for other reasons. If at any point I do not like the guy then I explain to Daisy + that is also a rejection.
Never once has a guy been rejected for penis size (a couple have been massive and some small) or any other body/jealousy related reasons. |
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"By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun
By attributes do you mean a bigger cock? Women really aren't that shallow."
Are men really that insecure? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun
By attributes do you mean a bigger cock? Women really aren't that shallow."
I think some women are, but generally no.
Think of it this way. Why would the male half be worried she would want more than just fun when there are so many guys on here with big cocks + she could have as many as she wants?
There is no place in swinging for jealousy + in fact you will find that is less of a concern for couples than emotional intimacy. That is why you will see a lot of couples will let you stick a big cock in her but not allow kissing or cuddling.
Does that make sense? |
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"By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun"
If they're worried about things like that then the lifestyle may not be for them.
I'd find it weird if hubby only wanted me to go with guys he felt superior to. He wants the best for me and to not feel disappointed with anyone we choose. |
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"If the man is straight, I have the final decision since I'm the one that would need the attraction. Adam would never make the decision for me unless he knows that I wouldn't find him attractive or he comes across as a giant douchebag.
If he is bi, we both make the decision but since we have never found one Adam wants to play with, the decision falls to me for a straight MMF.
If it's a female, we both have to find her attractive as Adam isn't interested in playing with women that are playing straight.
If it's a couple, we both have to find them attractive depending on the dynamic of the meet.
Eve. X"
Surprised you can't find bi guys. I'd enjoy slowly sucking Adam with you, something all 3 could enjoy. |
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"By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun
By attributes do you mean a bigger cock? Women really aren't that shallow.
I think some women are, but generally no.
Think of it this way. Why would the male half be worried she would want more than just fun when there are so many guys on here with big cocks + she could have as many as she wants?
There is no place in swinging for jealousy + in fact you will find that is less of a concern for couples than emotional intimacy. That is why you will see a lot of couples will let you stick a big cock in her but not allow kissing or cuddling.
Does that make sense? "
I can't imagine leaving a relationship its taken us the best part of 39 years to build up just for a bigger cock. I'd just get a giant dildo  |
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Many seem to think that it's always the male half of a (mf)couple who runs the account. We often get messages directed at me (your missus is fit, or she's got great nipples, etc..) but usually it'll be Anita who answers the message anyway.
We both spend a similar amount of time on here and both interact with the account. If either of us are not into either half of them, we don't want to meet... although I personally don't look too much at the bloke anyway, as long as he isn't dressed as a lady I don't care what he looks like.
Cal |
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"By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun"
So your post is - do men in a couple turn single guys down because they think they have a bigger dick and therefore the female might run off with them?!
I suggest if there's a danger of that then swinging is not for them. Also, despite what quite a lot of men seem to believe, cock size isn't a big deal. It's the person attached to it that matters.
Mrs TMN |
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"By that I meant the male may feel that the guy has better attributes than he thus making him feel worried his wife/partner may want more than just fun"
Anyone who thinks like that doesn't understand swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I the male pretty much run the account on fab. 90% of all the messages we get deleted because it's a hi or fancy a fuck message. If we meet anyone regardless of sex both of us have to be interested b4 anything else. Even then it's a social 1st as someone pointed out earlier the looks get you the social the personality gets you the meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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I agree some guys do spoil it for others here. But sometimes you can write a full cv type message nice and polite as requested and it’s instantly deleted and sometimes that from cpls who have the lady blindfolded! But your right personality would get the fun. |
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"Yes your right it could be swinging is not for them but do wonder sometimes that there is something that stops guys from getting meets."
If men gatekeeping who their partner could see was what stopped men getting meets then presumably they’d have a lot more success with single women than with couples though? A glance through forum threads about that topic doesn’t seem to support that idea!
I think the reasons some men struggle to get meets are far more simple. Rather than being seen as too desirable by the male half of the couple, their profile is seen as not desirable enough by one (or both) of the halves of the couple. The reasons why that might be the case have been covered in lots of other threads I think. |
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"I agree some guys do spoil it for others here. But sometimes you can write a full cv type message nice and polite as requested and it’s instantly deleted and sometimes that from cpls who have the lady blindfolded! But your right personality would get the fun."
It's personal choice. There is no "one size fits all" - pun intended! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes your right it could be swinging is not for them but do wonder sometimes that there is something that stops guys from getting meets."
I find I am the main reason I don’t get to meet the people I’d like to meet. No one else. Either I’ve selected people that don’t consider me to be compatible or I’ve not presented myself in such a way that they would find me an interesting or attractive proposition. The only person who can change my fortunes is me.
If couples don’t think I’m the sort of guy they want to meet, then I need to think about how I approach couples and do something different. I don’t see a difference with who is doing the gate keeping in terms of how successful I am. If I am approaching them well as a couple then it shouldn’t really matter. |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
From us it doesn't matter as we currently are not meeting single guys. But as it is mostly Mr on Fab then it is him.
When meeting couples it is a joint decision. If Mr likes the female then he will pass to Mrs and she will give her nod of approval. If either of us says no then we send a no thank you immediately. |
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By *uckfunCouple
over a year ago
North Coast |
Face, attitude and politeness, nothing invites a block faster than being called a slut, bitch or slag or being asked if I want a ‘real man’.
We don’t usually block anyone but A simple ‘no thanks’ from us followed by a stream of ‘why not’ messages also gets a block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So would you all say so far it’s the face which has the bigger deciding influence on meets?"
Without doubt ....
We have had perfect matches with people got on really well, liked body pics .but face pics were a deal breaker ... now face pics are the first thing we ask for .. |
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If a single guy were to get a ‘no thanks’ from us, it would be because we’d both decided that he wasn’t for us. Same with a couple.
It’s important to us that neither of us ever takes one for the team. It’s not what we’re here for.
Sometimes. A guy with a larger cock maybe the fantasy we’re playing out. Sometimes many guys. But their attitude and personality are way more important than their physical attributes.
B&J x |
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We decide jointly, we both need to be attracted to whoever we meet
However I the female do most of the chatting on forums and message replies wether it’s to express I treat or to politely decline
If someone gets pushy etc either he will send a message or I send one signing off as him before hitting the block button x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So when contacting cpls as a male when you do get a reply, ( it does happen!) who do you think it is saying no thanks the lady or the guy or both?
Be interesting to hear from cpls.
Who would say it’s the guy because the guy contacting maybe better looking, have bigger equipment etc but the lady would.
Or the lady as she he doesn’t appeal but the guy thinks he would be suitable?
Thoughts all?
Or theit's always the male
No it’s not. It’s me , the female, in our case. "
lol I knew you'd say that |
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