FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Mental or Physical attraction first
Mental or Physical attraction first
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So I know the correct answer is both but I have a genuine question.
When you get into a decent conversation with a profile which should come first developing a mental attraction (ie working out that you click sexually and looking for same things) or after brief conversation share a pic to see if there is enough of a physical attraction before continuing |
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Tried in the past when I've had a really great and well structured message, that's incorporated preferences in my profile and obviously read it. However sooner or later I get the photo and think, sorry no. You actually feel bad for that person who has a great personality, but not sexually attractive for me to want to be intimate with them. So it's much harder to then cut them off and say sorry, it's easier to see if there is an attraction first for both sides  |
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The physical, visual would catch my attention, but I need a mental attraction to hold it.
Wouldn't matter how good looking a person was, someone with the personality of a tin of baked beans wouldn't make my fanny flutter |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It may sound shallow but I think a physical attraction would come first then see if there is any chemistry through convos xx T xx"
general and practical, everyone follows this, but few Express. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In the real world physical but that can soon change once you start talking.On here then physical isnt so important and if there is a connection then looks dont really matter. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I’m going to go with something else. I think there is some combination that causes me to click. There are very beautiful women on here I am not attracted to and there are very intelligent and witty women I’m not attracted to. Yet there are some that I feel a strong attraction to and it cannot be simplified to the mental or the physical |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't get into a conversation without knowing I am physically attracted to someone, when looking for playmates on here. "
A crappy personality, once chatting, would mean an end to any attraction though... Looks don't trump personality but I can't fuck someone I am not attracted to physically aswell as mentally |
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Super interesting wide selection of views..guess there is no formula and so no right or wrong way.
Some people will find you mentally attractive and others will find you physically attractive - that works other way too.. So all in all keep ploughing on in whatever way works for you and hope it is the same on the other side
For the record mentally stimulation is probably the very definition of virtual fun,
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Mental all the way.
Physical only works if you are horny and want a meet right away... whereas having a social or mental connection with someone will give you that motivation to continue chatting and trance a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Tried in the past when I've had a really great and well structured message, that's incorporated preferences in my profile and obviously read it. However sooner or later I get the photo and think, sorry no. You actually feel bad for that person who has a great personality, but not sexually attractive for me to want to be intimate with them. So it's much harder to then cut them off and say sorry, it's easier to see if there is an attraction first for both sides "
I totally agree with this. I’ve gotten into a conversation with people due to such a nice message but then feel awful when you see a pic and your not sexually attracted to them. I hate having to say sorry your not my type  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say face first. Then the personality. When i saw LJ's profile, i really fancied him. It was looking at his posts and getting a feel for the person that took it from the superficial to the need to know this man.
Holly |
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Physical every time. I do need a superficial mental connection but there's no way I can get to know someone well enough to form any kind of meaningful bond. Ultimately we're here for fantasy fulfilment and my fantasies feature men I find attractive |
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For me physical attraction often emerges from mental attraction, but never the other way round. I never pursue based on looks alone, and if a profile doesn’t stimulate me I won’t engage with it. I tend towards being a sapiophile, although intelligence can be measured in many different ways. Without a sense of mental connection I am going to politely walk away pretty quickly. |
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By *lex D.Man
over a year ago
London |
Always physical first. Look at tinder for example. If anyone goes straight to the bio without checking the 2nd, 3rd, 4th photo then I'll believe you are mental first.
If there's no bio I'd recommend to swipe left regardless if photos remain to be viewed.  |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
We swing for sex and to fulfill our fantasies, not to make friends or mental connections - we have plenty of people in our vanilla life for that. So, in our case, it's physical attraction that is key. |
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