FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > what makes u a swinger?
what makes u a swinger?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So many treads saying about levels in which ur a swinger or ur not!! Im curious now as what u have to do to be a swinger? I personally think its to be open with sexuality and enjoy that with people u want to n trust.....i am bi, I dont cheat, even if im longterm fbs, I dont want notches on the bedpost, I do enjoy group sex, but not into clubs etc.... So how do u define a swinger? X |
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Swinging has many different definitions,but for me i would say it is a belief that sex is not monogamous,and that we can have many different levels of relationships from fucking namelessly in a club to "fuck buddies"to lover to husband/wife.
Whatever the relationship though there is a lack of possessiveness,honesty and openness about sex for physical pleasure
A definition i have used before...pretty much sure though that i am not a swinger except socially...my view of sex doesnt ft with the prevailing orthodoxy. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont think the word swinger even applies anymore, its so dated, now days where more and more people are doing this and its becoming more open and main stream i think its just being sexually open not swinging, and anyone can be sexually open  |
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this is a very interesting question! i recently had a mail from a guy who'd just joined the site looking for no strings sex but was disgusted to be classed as a swinger ! to me it would be defined as when two or more consenting adults meet for non monogamous ,recreational sex . |
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The belief that sex is there to be enjoyed and sharing openly increases the enjoyment? Many (maybe most) people have sex outside their relationships but swingers are happy to do so openly. Or maybe it's the belief that sex is better when more people are involved together?
Agree that the word 'swinger' is getting outdated, it was after all first used to describe people in 1960s Californian communities who shared sex. It's getting more main-stream now. There seem to be two sorts of swingers, those who seek one-on-ones with others and those who prefer group-sex (like us!) maybe we need two words for them? |
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Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous[1] behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity.[2] Swinging can take place in a number of contexts, ranging from spontaneous sexual activity at informal gatherings of friends to planned regular social meetings to hooking up with like-minded people at a swingers' club. It can also involve Internet-based swinger social networking services online.
The phenomenon of swinging, or at least its wider discussion and practice, is regarded by some as arising from the upsurge in sexual activity during the sexual revolution of the 1960s, made possible by the invention of the contraceptive pill and the prevalence of safer sex practices during the same period.
The older term wife swapping, once considered to be equivalent to "swinging", is now criticized as being androcentric where the husband is presumed to be in control of the sexual activities of a couple and also does not accurately describe the full range of sexual activities in which singles or couples may take part.
The name swinging was given to couples that swapped partners for sex |
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By *wosWoman
over a year ago
east london |
think a change is as good as a rest,,,lol
after knowing what yr hubby or wife is going to do next in bed...after yrs n yrs it nice to find some one that does not do the same thing....some have soft hands,,,some r bigger,,,some smaller,,but they all feel different... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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sex friendship(where its allowed or wanted lol), I dont hassle people via msn,text,phonecalls,turn up at their door,take the hump at refusals,take the hump when a previous met has a meet instead of myself and dont pretend to be anything other than myself |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"sex friendship(where its allowed or wanted lol), I dont hassle people via msn,text,phonecalls,turn up at their door,take the hump at refusals,take the hump when a previous met has a meet instead of myself and dont pretend to be anything other than myself"
Interesting, very good!!  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well not sure I have answer my question, its unanswerable........everyone different n raisealaff hit it out the park!! Its what u want n dont pretend to be something your not!! Im going to say im a posh swinger pmsl xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"sex friendship(where its allowed or wanted lol), I dont hassle people via msn,text,phonecalls,turn up at their door,take the hump at refusals,take the hump when a previous met has a meet instead of myself and dont pretend to be anything other than myself
Interesting, very good!! "
well its true...i have friends on here from facebook...i know where the limits are...unfortunately ive experienced many who dont (mainly men)(big clue on their facebooks, is having no family/friends)...seen some idiot posting for an MMF on my friends actual page!(luckily she seen it) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well not sure I have answer my question, its unanswerable........everyone different n raisealaff hit it out the park!! Its what u want n dont pretend to be something your not!! Im going to say im a posh swinger pmsl xx"
mmMMm i likem posh!!! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"sex friendship(where its allowed or wanted lol), I dont hassle people via msn,text,phonecalls,turn up at their door,take the hump at refusals,take the hump when a previous met has a meet instead of myself and dont pretend to be anything other than myself
Interesting, very good!!
well its true...i have friends on here from facebook...i know where the limits are...unfortunately ive experienced many who dont (mainly men)(big clue on their facebooks, is having no family/friends)...seen some idiot posting for an MMF on my friends actual page!(luckily she seen it)"
Ffs, id be fucking raging!!! 
I dont tend to give much info about my private life out until I no someone abit, I tend to have one fb at a time and add people to our fun, but I consider my fb as friends and respect then like I would anyone else, but comes with time, last fb a yr n a half, and before that 2 yrs, and fell un love but we still played with others together, everyone diff and with being bi its hard to find someone that will put up with that, guys think its great to begin with, but I think after a while gets to them, so unless I find a total excepting guy, its a "swingers" (whatever that is  ) life for me!! I hate mindless sex!! So not into just random shags not for me, got to have something x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In my personal opinion, the term "Swingers" only really applies to married couples who meet for sex with other people.
If you're not married but living with someone then you're near enough single really anyway and a single person meeting strangers for sex is just that, a single person meeting up for a shag, where as a married couple have a legal bond between them but are open to sharing each other for sexual pleasure.
So for me, the only real Swingers on here and the married couples. |
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Hmmmm not married but living together means you're almost single.....think more than a few people will disagree with that. Some people choose not to get married but it doesn't mean that they are not committed to each other, and it's a far cry from being single.
I'd go along with Jemima's definition....
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"sex is not monogamous,and that we can have many different levels of relationships from fucking namelessly in a club to "fuck buddies"to lover to husband/wife.
Whatever the relationship though there is a lack of possessiveness,honesty and openness about sex for physical pleasure".
.
However it's just a label...does it really matter as long as the people involved are consenting adults having fun.
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"In my personal opinion, the term "Swingers" only really applies to married couples who meet for sex with other people.
If you're not married but living with someone then you're near enough single really anyway and a single person meeting strangers for sex is just that, a single person meeting up for a shag, where as a married couple have a legal bond between them but are open to sharing each other for sexual pleasure.
So for me, the only real Swingers on here and the married couples."
Don't agree that you can only be 'real' swingers if your a married couple.  |
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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago
South West London / Surrey |
"Hmmmm not married but living together means you're almost single.....think more than a few people will disagree with that. Some people choose not to get married but it doesn't mean that they are not committed to each other, and it's a far cry from being single.
I'd go along with Jemima's definition....
.
"sex is not monogamous,and that we can have many different levels of relationships from fucking namelessly in a club to "fuck buddies"to lover to husband/wife.
Whatever the relationship though there is a lack of possessiveness,honesty and openness about sex for physical pleasure".
.
However it's just a label...does it really matter as long as the people involved are consenting adults having fun.
"
You beat me to it 
We have been together since our school days (so a fair few years now lol) yet have no intention of getting married.
Own a home together, have a daughter together....can't see how that makes us,almost single. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I dont class myself as a swinger.. I am a sexual adverturer.. Looking to meet some fun people along our sordid little journey 
I think its wrong to say that you are almost single if not married.. marraige to me is a bit of a farce anyway... so many people are married but not really together... its just legal bit of paper for many.
It takes far more than a ceremony to commit to someone and I think most swinging couples are very committed.. as it takes trust, honesty and openness that is often missing from other relationships.
Not saying married or together swinging couples are better at being a couple than none swinging one.. just that it seems to be more apparent in swinging couples.
cali |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So many treads saying about levels in which ur a swinger or ur not!! Im curious now as what u have to do to be a swinger? I personally think its to be open with sexuality and enjoy that with people u want to n trust.....i am bi, I dont cheat, even if im longterm fbs, I dont want notches on the bedpost, I do enjoy group sex, but not into clubs etc.... So how do u define a swinger? X"
someone who swings. can be both sexual and musical. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Swinging or (rarely) partner swapping is a non-monogamous[1] behavior, in which singles or partners in a committed relationship engage in sexual activities with others as a recreational or social activity."
Singles in a committed relationship... Does that mean singles cheating?  |
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