FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > little advice.. ladies really.
little advice.. ladies really.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Well I am in a realtionship and do not hide this fact.
Also I have my reasons for been on this site.
Any way I have been with my lovly gf 2 years now well a little over that.
She's is 21 but the problem is she never seems to want much sex and when we do its just a normal me on top kinds game. She's not a huge fan of foreplay and oral is a no unless in the bath.
I'm not trying to turn her into a full on nympth just would be nice for her to come on to me for a change and stop me feel like I'm pestering her.
Where any of you ladies similar at her age? I'm not her first sex partner but does kinda get me down that the sex life is very stale. Is there any ways I could try and improve on this and get her to feel good about her self and to enjoy sex more.
Feel free to post on here or inbox me. And please no abuse about why I am on here why taken.
Cheers Leigh |
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why are u in a relationsghip with soeone you are not copatiable with and who does not want what you want
instead of trying to change her man up and move on
Someone might discover what turns her on but someone who is looking to meet others behind her back probably isnt the person to do it
leave and let her find the person she deserves |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why are u in a relationsghip with soeone you are not copatiable with and who does not want what you want
instead of trying to change her man up and move on
Someone might discover what turns her on but someone who is looking to meet others behind her back probably isnt the person to do it
leave and let her find the person she deserves"
You say that like I'm on here mad to get it which I ain't iv had no meets from this site and tbh I would not meet if I even got the chance two.
Also when we got toghter the sex was no better but we had it quite often 3 times a night this has Droped of thought. |
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"why are u in a relationsghip with soeone you are not copatiable with and who does not want what you want
instead of trying to change her man up and move on
Someone might discover what turns her on but someone who is looking to meet others behind her back probably isnt the person to do it
leave and let her find the person she deserves"
just because he is on here does not mean he is cheating on her .
may be he thought that he might just get some help in improving his sex life.
and not an out right attack.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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ive always been over sexed to be honest so never had the problem your girlfriend has
some peoples sex drive is just higher than others and the fact of the matter is if shes not bothered about sex it will probably never change, i know a woman whos in her 40s and never give a blow job in all her life some poeople just arnt bothered about it
The question you have to ask now is, and sorry to be blunt, can you live with this forever? which you obviously cant because your on here so it maybe time to think about moving on so you can both find a partner more fitting to your needs
i know people say theres more to a relationship than sex but lets be honest if the sex is crap the relationships never going to be great, your always going to be sneaking about behind her back and do you really wnat that? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"why are u in a relationsghip with soeone you are not copatiable with and who does not want what you want
instead of trying to change her man up and move on
Someone might discover what turns her on but someone who is looking to meet others behind her back probably isnt the person to do it
leave and let her find the person she deserves
just because he is on here does not mean he is cheating on her .
may be he thought that he might just get some help in improving his sex life.
and not an out right attack.
"
Thanks when I joined here I did want to meet but its not right or fair to do so. Now I just use the site for the fourms pics and sometimes the chat as it is nice to get to be nawty and a bit dirty at times.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"ive always been over sexed to be honest so never had the problem your girlfriend has
some peoples sex drive is just higher than others and the fact of the matter is if shes not bothered about sex it will probably never change, i know a woman whos in her 40s and never give a blow job in all her life some poeople just arnt bothered about it
The question you have to ask now is, and sorry to be blunt, can you live with this forever? which you obviously cant because your on here so it maybe time to think about moving on so you can both find a partner more fitting to your needs
i know people say theres more to a relationship than sex but lets be honest if the sex is crap the relationships never going to be great, your always going to be sneaking about behind her back and do you really wnat that?"
Hmm you are right and I no it.
The problem I have is everythink else is great best gf I have had so far other past gfs the sex life was better some cases way better. But genral relationship sucked.
So this js why I don't no what to do. But do agree with out good sex a realtion does get boring easy. As I say it makes me feel bad that I try it on and she turns me down time and time again  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
So this js why I don't no what to do. But do agree with out good sex a realtion does get boring easy. As I say it makes me feel bad that I try it on and she turns me down time and time again "
then im sorry to say but its time to move on, if you feel bad now after two years of feeling like your pestering her and her keep turning you down imagine how you will feel in 10 years
believe me it will end in arguments and resentment, ive been there myself, she'll end up doing obligated sex just to shut you up and im sure you dont want that?
Tho im sure she is a lovely girl your needs are onviously different to hers so in my honest opinion it will never work x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
So this js why I don't no what to do. But do agree with out good sex a realtion does get boring easy. As I say it makes me feel bad that I try it on and she turns me down time and time again
then im sorry to say but its time to move on, if you feel bad now after two years of feeling like your pestering her and her keep turning you down imagine how you will feel in 10 years
believe me it will end in arguments and resentment, ive been there myself, she'll end up doing obligated sex just to shut you up and im sure you dont want that?
Tho im sure she is a lovely girl your needs are onviously different to hers so in my honest opinion it will never work x"
Is really sad to hear you say that  and she is very lovely and that's why I thought maybe I could try and change things for the better
Aww boo now I'm getting upset at work |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You're 23 and appear grateful for the girl you have but not truly happy. Sneaking around looking for NSA with old girls make you feel bad.
You know your relationship is going nowhere, why prolong the agony? Be strong, end it and enjoy the scene until you find someone compatible.
Good luck.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"You're 23 and appear grateful for the girl you have but not truly happy. Sneaking around looking for NSA with old girls make you feel bad.
You know your relationship is going nowhere, why prolong the agony? Be strong, end it and enjoy the scene until you find someone compatible.
Good luck.
"
Think I really need to change my profile lol.
And if sex life was better then I really would be truly happy but I think I need to sit down and talk with here how I really feel and if we can't sort it out. I think it would be time to call it a day. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think she must have a low sex drive. You should find someone else because when you get old like me, you will regret not having as much fun as you could, especialy as your young and fit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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My first relationship, I didn't enjoy sex at all. We were both very experienced, I lost my virginity to him and I didn't know what I wanted and the relationship was so bad that, even if I had, I wouldn't have known how to ask. I'm not suggesting your relationship is the same btw. Anyway, I stuck around for years because, I spose, at first I knew no better and then the longer you stay the harder it gets to leave. But we were totally incompatible.
As soon as I found someone else, I found a new lease of life as regards sex - sometimes, you're just not compatible. I'm with the others, it might be time to move on. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When we first married I dint care about sex at all. If hubby didnt start things we wouldnt have had it.He never held my hand or told me how he felt about me. It took a lot of years before he made me feel worth his love and affection. Now we have sex loads and enjoy this scene.Are you showing her plenty of affection do you make her feel good about herself out of the bedroom? It does help a lot. |
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"why are u in a relationsghip with soeone you are not copatiable with and who does not want what you want
instead of trying to change her man up and move on
Someone might discover what turns her on but someone who is looking to meet others behind her back probably isnt the person to do it
leave and let her find the person she deserves
just because he is on here does not mean he is cheating on her .
may be he thought that he might just get some help in improving his sex life.
and not an out right attack.
"
If he isnt looking his profile would read differently
it wasnt an attack simply the truth as i see it ,i didnt say he was a bad person simply one who needed to think deeply before he wasted years.As i have said it takes 2 ppl to have sex and 2 to not have sex, i rarely see the point in sugar coating things i have tried that before and ppl rarely listen |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I think she must have a low sex drive. You should find someone else because when you get old like me, you will regret not having as much fun as you could, especialy as your young and fit."
why thanks but im realy not |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"When we first married I dint care about sex at all. If hubby didnt start things we wouldnt have had it.He never held my hand or told me how he felt about me. It took a lot of years before he made me feel worth his love and affection. Now we have sex loads and enjoy this scene.Are you showing her plenty of affection do you make her feel good about herself out of the bedroom? It does help a lot."
thanks and yes i do i did not do much around the house so trying to change that atm and helping out a lot more.
and i always tell her shes good looking i like her bodyand boobs etc tell her i love her so all thats coverd i think |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My first relationship, I didn't enjoy sex at all. We were both very experienced, I lost my virginity to him and I didn't know what I wanted and the relationship was so bad that, even if I had, I wouldn't have known how to ask. I'm not suggesting your relationship is the same btw. Anyway, I stuck around for years because, I spose, at first I knew no better and then the longer you stay the harder it gets to leave. But we were totally incompatible.
As soon as I found someone else, I found a new lease of life as regards sex - sometimes, you're just not compatible. I'm with the others, it might be time to move on. "
hmm mayb you are right when we first got toghter it was ok but just droped off i hope it more of we have just lost ower way more than anythink
how do i multi quote would be much easier lol |
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"My first relationship, I didn't enjoy sex at all. We were both very experienced, I lost my virginity to him and I didn't know what I wanted and the relationship was so bad that, even if I had, I wouldn't have known how to ask. I'm not suggesting your relationship is the same btw. Anyway, I stuck around for years because, I spose, at first I knew no better and then the longer you stay the harder it gets to leave. But we were totally incompatible.
As soon as I found someone else, I found a new lease of life as regards sex - sometimes, you're just not compatible. I'm with the others, it might be time to move on.
hmm mayb you are right when we first got toghter it was ok but just droped off i hope it more of we have just lost ower way more than anythink
how do i multi quote would be much easier lol"
press reply in forum+ quote
has anything else changed other than your sex life? Anew job money worries for example ? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"My first relationship, I didn't enjoy sex at all. We were both very experienced, I lost my virginity to him and I didn't know what I wanted and the relationship was so bad that, even if I had, I wouldn't have known how to ask. I'm not suggesting your relationship is the same btw. Anyway, I stuck around for years because, I spose, at first I knew no better and then the longer you stay the harder it gets to leave. But we were totally incompatible.
As soon as I found someone else, I found a new lease of life as regards sex - sometimes, you're just not compatible. I'm with the others, it might be time to move on.
hmm mayb you are right when we first got toghter it was ok but just droped off i hope it more of we have just lost ower way more than anythink
how do i multi quote would be much easier lol
press reply in forum+ quote
has anything else changed other than your sex life? Anew job money worries for example ?"
Ermm money worrys not use to be in debt bit not any more I changed jobs 2 nights 4 nights a week but still see her every night before work and Friday satday and Sunday |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thanks for all the advice so far guys.
Well tonight I have done all the house work so she ain't got to do nuthink when she gets in from her pole dancing lessons and in the bed I have left her toy which she has never used in the bed with a note saying I live you.
Good idea or bad.. as she never used it and don't like playing with her self really x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Think I really need to change my profile lol.
And if sex life was better then I really would be truly happy but I think I need to sit down and talk with here how I really feel and if we can't sort it out. I think it would be time to call it a day. "
At last you've hit the nail on the head.
TALK TO HER ABOUT IT!
Sit up all night if need be but get it sorted, communication is key.
Even tell her about joining the site but not being able to go through with a meet because of your love for her, if you think she could take it.
After all, you have nothing to lose if your thinking you may have to call it a day but exhaust all the avenues before you do.
Good luck.  
XXXX |
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At 21 it could just be that she hasnt found herself sexually, i loved sex at 21 but certainly didnt know how my body worked like i do now.
Have you thought about not consentrating on the act of sex for a while and get her to open up a bit more sexually. Make sure you give her lots of confidence boosters, i think she may need to find herself, possibly in life not just sexually.
There are people that just dont have a high sex drive but if you really love her you need to try what you can. If it doesnt work you need to move on. You may only be on here chatting now but if things dont pick up you could find yourself meeting people. Better to finish with her than cheat on her |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"When we first married I dint care about sex at all. If hubby didnt start things we wouldnt have had it.He never held my hand or told me how he felt about me. It took a lot of years before he made me feel worth his love and affection. Now we have sex loads and enjoy this scene.Are you showing her plenty of affection do you make her feel good about herself out of the bedroom? It does help a lot."
 This has been my experience in the past and I personally think can sometimes be missed that it maybe out of the bedroom to feel the magic in the bedroom |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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in all honesty, i find this so sad. That at 23 you've decided that you will 'make do' with a relationship that isnt 100% right for you. All i can hope is that manage to sort everything out and do what is right for both of you.
I'm lucky that as soon as soon as i've felt unhappy in a relationship, i've ended it, as i;d rather be happy on my own than miserable and together |
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"Well I am in a realtionship and do not hide this fact. "
Well done you.
"Also I have my reasons for been on this site. "
All cheating men do honey, you're not alone
"Any way I have been with my lovly gf 2 years now well a little over that. "
So far so good.....
"She's is 21 but the problem is she never seems to want much sex and when we do its just a normal me on top kinds game. She's not a huge fan of foreplay and oral is a no unless in the bath. "
Never seems to want sex? Are you any good? Do you pay attention to her needs?
No oral unless in the bath? Is that the only time she can guarantee it's clean?
"I'm not trying to turn her into a full on nympth just would be nice for her to come on to me for a change and stop me feel like I'm pestering her."
Here's a thought..... have you tried talking to her instead of coming here and hoping for a quick shag to fix it?
Oh, sorry. I really hope you weren't looking for sympathy on a site where honesty is the first rule of swinging? |
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"Thanks for all the advice so far guys.
Well tonight I have done all the house work so she ain't got to do nuthink when she gets in from her pole dancing lessons and in the bed I have left her toy which she has never used in the bed with a note saying I live you.
Good idea or bad.. as she never used it and don't like playing with her self really x "
bad if she has never played with it why push her
u need to talk! |
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"in all honesty, i find this so sad. That at 23 you've decided that you will 'make do' with a relationship that isnt 100% right for you. All i can hope is that manage to sort everything out and do what is right for both of you.
I'm lucky that as soon as soon as i've felt unhappy in a relationship, i've ended it, as i;d rather be happy on my own than miserable and together"
i too always find this sad |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
I'm lucky that as soon as soon as i've felt unhappy in a relationship, i've ended it, as i;d rather be happy on my own than miserable and together"
i feel the same, i stayed with my ex for a while after i felt the relationship was over because we have kids, but even with kids you can only stay for so long before enoughs enough
The OP is still very young and im sure he will meet many girls before he find the right one, thats how life usually works x |
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"
I'm lucky that as soon as soon as i've felt unhappy in a relationship, i've ended it, as i;d rather be happy on my own than miserable and together
i feel the same, i stayed with my ex for a while after i felt the relationship was over because we have kids, but even with kids you can only stay for so long before enoughs enough
The OP is still very young and im sure he will meet many girls before he find the right one, thats how life usually works x"
the thing that worries me is that how soon before kids come along |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I agree with the general advice here. I was in a relationship like this a few years back, and it generally doesn't get any better. If you don't end it, eventually she will (don't think that she doesn't know things aren't great aswell) but you'll have lost another year. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Cheers guys I really am taken all this on bored.
The problem is. Since about 16 I have stayed in in relationships which have always felt crap.
This one how ever feels so right apart from this herdul. The kids things lol have to have it to make kids |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Cheers guys I really am taken all this on bored.
The problem is. Since about 16 I have stayed in in relationships which have always felt crap.
This one how ever feels so right apart from this herdul. The kids things lol have to have it to make kids "
take my advice dont do the kids thing till your sure about what you want in life x |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Cheers guys I really am taken all this on bored.
The problem is. Since about 16 I have stayed in in relationships which have always felt crap.
This one how ever feels so right apart from this herdul. The kids things lol have to have it to make kids
take my advice dont do the kids thing till your sure about what you want in life x"
That's the next problem I guess iv always been against having kids but with her I could see us having a little family which I have never felt with any one else |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I am in a realtionship and do not hide this fact.
Also I have my reasons for been on this site.
Any way I have been with my lovly gf 2 years now well a little over that.
She's is 21 but the problem is she never seems to want much sex and when we do its just a normal me on top kinds game. She's not a huge fan of foreplay and oral is a no unless in the bath.
I'm not trying to turn her into a full on nympth just would be nice for her to come on to me for a change and stop me feel like I'm pestering her.
Where any of you ladies similar at her age? I'm not her first sex partner but does kinda get me down that the sex life is very stale. Is there any ways I could try and improve on this and get her to feel good about her self and to enjoy sex more.
Feel free to post on here or inbox me. And please no abuse about why I am on here why taken.
Cheers Leigh "
Ok, this may seem a little harsh, and I know that you dodnt want harsh. BUt, you have taken a picture of your dick and posted it on the internet, and yet you seem unwilling or unable to talk about sex, with someone you have been with for 2 years. You are adults, talk about it, find out what is going on, in both your mind and hers, and maybe just maybe, through the simple act of communication, you may have a chance to put things right.
Talk to her, not in a "I want sex" kind of way, but "is there a problem with sex" kind of way, no prssure, lay the ground rules down (no comebacks, no insults, no pressure and most importantly NO BLAME), honesty, and be open. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Well I am in a realtionship and do not hide this fact.
Also I have my reasons for been on this site.
Any way I have been with my lovly gf 2 years now well a little over that.
She's is 21 but the problem is she never seems to want much sex and when we do its just a normal me on top kinds game. She's not a huge fan of foreplay and oral is a no unless in the bath.
I'm not trying to turn her into a full on nympth just would be nice for her to come on to me for a change and stop me feel like I'm pestering her.
Where any of you ladies similar at her age? I'm not her first sex partner but does kinda get me down that the sex life is very stale. Is there any ways I could try and improve on this and get her to feel good about her self and to enjoy sex more.
Feel free to post on here or inbox me. And please no abuse about why I am on here why taken.
Cheers Leigh
Ok, this may seem a little harsh, and I know that you dodnt want harsh. BUt, you have taken a picture of your dick and posted it on the internet, and yet you seem unwilling or unable to talk about sex, with someone you have been with for 2 years. You are adults, talk about it, find out what is going on, in both your mind and hers, and maybe just maybe, through the simple act of communication, you may have a chance to put things right.
Talk to her, not in a "I want sex" kind of way, but "is there a problem with sex" kind of way, no prssure, lay the ground rules down (no comebacks, no insults, no pressure and most importantly NO BLAME), honesty, and be open."
I'm very happy to talk about sex and very open about it but when I ask her things she just normally says she does not no and trys to change subject away from it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well I am in a realtionship and do not hide this fact.
Also I have my reasons for been on this site.
Any way I have been with my lovly gf 2 years now well a little over that.
She's is 21 but the problem is she never seems to want much sex and when we do its just a normal me on top kinds game. She's not a huge fan of foreplay and oral is a no unless in the bath.
I'm not trying to turn her into a full on nympth just would be nice for her to come on to me for a change and stop me feel like I'm pestering her.
Where any of you ladies similar at her age? I'm not her first sex partner but does kinda get me down that the sex life is very stale. Is there any ways I could try and improve on this and get her to feel good about her self and to enjoy sex more.
Feel free to post on here or inbox me. And please no abuse about why I am on here why taken.
Cheers Leigh
Ok, this may seem a little harsh, and I know that you dodnt want harsh. BUt, you have taken a picture of your dick and posted it on the internet, and yet you seem unwilling or unable to talk about sex, with someone you have been with for 2 years. You are adults, talk about it, find out what is going on, in both your mind and hers, and maybe just maybe, through the simple act of communication, you may have a chance to put things right.
Talk to her, not in a "I want sex" kind of way, but "is there a problem with sex" kind of way, no prssure, lay the ground rules down (no comebacks, no insults, no pressure and most importantly NO BLAME), honesty, and be open.
I'm very happy to talk about sex and very open about it but when I ask her things she just normally says she does not no and trys to change subject away from it. "
Have you stressed how important this is to you? Without laying guilt at the dorr, have you ever said. "i Love you, and the last two years have been great, but the physical side of our relationship isnt as good as it could be and it is making me feel insecure"? |
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