FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Quality over quantity...
Quality over quantity...
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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they say, “not looking to sleep with the whole site” they add; yet seem unable to read a profile and construct a message that doesn’t look as though it’s generic enough to send to pretty much anyone.
Make an effort boys, at least try and look as though you’re typing with both hands  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I only ask because I wonder 2 thibgs:
1.Do guys start of with "Hey, how's you?" then after time realise that doesn't work so they compose better messages?
2.Do guys start off sending lovely throughout personal messages only to get 1 reply in 50 and eventually start to put less effort in?
It's a quandary |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We're quite happy to receive brief messages because we go by profiles, pictures and what follows"
See I would have thought that. As long as the message isn't rude and you like the cut of the person's jib, then reply and have a conversation and then decide whether they are worth meeting or not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first message is just an intro. I don’t understand why people get so hung up on it. "
Agreed pal, though I do understand that women get an extraordinary amount of messages and if half of those were short and uninteresting then they may prefer the ones that have a bit more substance. On the other hand, she may have so many messages that she wants to get through so the shorter ones keep her attention better.
Best not worrying too much, what's meant to be will be and all that  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I only ask because I wonder 2 thibgs:
1.Do guys start of with "Hey, how's you?" then after time realise that doesn't work so they compose better messages?
2.Do guys start off sending lovely throughout personal messages only to get 1 reply in 50 and eventually start to put less effort in?
It's a quandary "
It’s not easy for single men on here and a first message doesn’t have to be chapter and verse but it does have to show they’ve read our profile and be more than a single line, although even worse are the ‘hilarious’ lads who take up two lines by saying they’ve written two lines.
People get really hung up on thinking it’s either a one line or a one page thing, it’s really not, we’d much rather read three lines of as well written message that is pertinent to us than a page of cut and paste generic rubbish.
In answer to your question I don’t think it’s as clear cut as that, we’ve had really good messages from people who have been on here a month as well as those who have been on for six years. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The first message is just an intro. I don’t understand why people get so hung up on it. "
For us it’s because if someone can’t be bothered to think of something that makes them stand out in their introduction we don’t hold out much hope of them being what we want in the bedroom. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only ask because I wonder 2 thibgs:
1.Do guys start of with "Hey, how's you?" then after time realise that doesn't work so they compose better messages?
2.Do guys start off sending lovely throughout personal messages only to get 1 reply in 50 and eventually start to put less effort in?
It's a quandary
It’s not easy for single men on here and a first message doesn’t have to be chapter and verse but it does have to show they’ve read our profile and be more than a single line, although even worse are the ‘hilarious’ lads who take up two lines by saying they’ve written two lines.
People get really hung up on thinking it’s either a one line or a one page thing, it’s really not, we’d much rather read three lines of as well written message that is pertinent to us than a page of cut and paste generic rubbish.
In answer to your question I don’t think it’s as clear cut as that, we’ve had really good messages from people who have been on here a month as well as those who have been on for six years."
Well put. I do agree with substance in a message, I certainly believe that making a message personal to the the person receiving is definitely the way to go.
However, as said above, as long as the message isn't offencesive and you like the look of their profile a "Hey, how's you?" should still get a reply. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first message is just an intro. I don’t understand why people get so hung up on it.
Agreed pal, though I do understand that women get an extraordinary amount of messages and if half of those were short and uninteresting then they may prefer the ones that have a bit more substance. On the other hand, she may have so many messages that she wants to get through so the shorter ones keep her attention better.
Best not worrying too much, what's meant to be will be and all that "
I’d argue that I get close to as many messages as some women do (but obviously not as many as the very popular ladies) - I have 104 today. And I don’t judge on the first message. A persons profile and photos are much more important and then take things from there |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first message is just an intro. I don’t understand why people get so hung up on it.
Agreed pal, though I do understand that women get an extraordinary amount of messages and if half of those were short and uninteresting then they may prefer the ones that have a bit more substance. On the other hand, she may have so many messages that she wants to get through so the shorter ones keep her attention better.
Best not worrying too much, what's meant to be will be and all that
I’d argue that I get close to as many messages as some women do (but obviously not as many as the very popular ladies) - I have 104 today. And I don’t judge on the first message. A persons profile and photos are much more important and then take things from there "
All I can say to that is that I suppose everyone of us is different, what works for you might not work for the next person. I like your attitude though mate, kudos |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"
Well put. I do agree with substance in a message, I certainly believe that making a message personal to the the person receiving is definitely the way to go.
However, as said above, as long as the message isn't offencesive and you like the look of their profile a "Hey, how's you?" should still get a reply. "
If the entire message is “hey how’s you?” Then that isn’t going to get a reply from us I’m afraid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As the poster above says ... different things will work for different people so it's not easy. Just try being yourself as you can't be anyone else!
Everyone's experiences on here are different, I reply to nearly all my messages and virtually never get rude or offensive ones! Whereas other ladies seem to get my share and far too many to reply to! All different! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"they say, “not looking to sleep with the whole site” they add; yet seem unable to read a profile and construct a message that doesn’t look as though it’s generic enough to send to pretty much anyone.
Make an effort boys, at least try and look as though you’re typing with both hands "
another dig at men , women are just as bad with their short replies.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"they say, “not looking to sleep with the whole site” they add; yet seem unable to read a profile and construct a message that doesn’t look as though it’s generic enough to send to pretty much anyone.
Make an effort boys, at least try and look as though you’re typing with both hands another dig at men , women are just as bad with their short replies. "
It’s the law of supply and demand, you want what we’ve got more than we want what you’ve got, and there’s 50 of you for every one of us.
Men need to make more of an effort on here than women, it might not seem fair but then not much in life is. If you’re not George Clooney then you better be prepared to work for it.
We try never to be rude on here but we will delete without reading if it’s clear the messager hasn’t read our profile. |
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"We're quite happy to receive brief messages because we go by profiles, pictures and what follows
See I would have thought that. As long as the message isn't rude and you like the cut of the person's jib, then reply and have a conversation and then decide whether they are worth meeting or not. "
Everyone does this fab lark differently. I suppose its in part down to how you choose to filter people.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I only ask because I wonder 2 thibgs:
1.Do guys start of with "Hey, how's you?" then after time realise that doesn't work so they compose better messages?
2.Do guys start off sending lovely throughout personal messages only to get 1 reply in 50 and eventually start to put less effort in?
It's a quandary "
I think you're right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"The first message is just an intro. I don’t understand why people get so hung up on it.
For us it’s because if someone can’t be bothered to think of something that makes them stand out in their introduction we don’t hold out much hope of them being what we want in the bedroom."
What do you say in the first messages that you send?  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"The first message is just an intro. I don’t understand why people get so hung up on it.
For us it’s because if someone can’t be bothered to think of something that makes them stand out in their introduction we don’t hold out much hope of them being what we want in the bedroom.
What do you say in the first messages that you send? "
Generally an idea of why we messaged someone and a brief description of what we're after to see if they are interested. |
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