FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why is sex so taboo?
Why is sex so taboo?
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I applause this. Love my partner to bits but live no strings sex. Why can’t one of my hobbies be fucking a friend with benefits or going to a club without being judged |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Lol hey I personally don't think monogamy is natural but it makes sense when children are involved, getting married is an invention like a contract but having sex with multiple partners is the natural process, you're right society has made it taboo, it makes everything taboo so youre accountable and it's your own conscience that keeps it that way, buck the system I'm with you  |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"I would assume that it's linked to the procreation aspect of sex. Biologically speaking, sex is just for making babies.
Cal"
Yes so can't we procreate with the partner you wish to father/mother your kids and copulate (for pleasure) with others? Other than "just because" society has made it a "bad" thing, casual sex with others doesn't hurt the procreation process or the parenting, does it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x"
I think that monogamy is absolutely fine and perfectly normal, but I also think engaging in no strings, pleasure driven sex in a casual way is perfectly normal.
Both can coexist quite happily, but I usually tend to see people polarise it into needing it to be one or the other, which is pointless. |
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Obviously from a biological point of view, we are pre-programmed to have multiple partners anyway. It was important for the progression of the species to vary the gene pool... and for the strongest genes to propagate. |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Who says there's no emotion with casual sex....there has to be some form of emotion or you wouldn't want to have sex with them."
You're right there IS an emotional component but ... I don't think I'd be alone here if I stated that the emotion associated with making love to someone is completely different to the emotion associated with casual sex. |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x
I think that monogamy is absolutely fine and perfectly normal, but I also think engaging in no strings, pleasure driven sex in a casual way is perfectly normal.
Both can coexist quite happily, but I usually tend to see people polarise it into needing it to be one or the other, which is pointless. "
I agree with both coexisting that's my point exactly |
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"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x"
I want to live in the world your in charge of! Ever thought about politics? |
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By *ANDA2Couple
over a year ago
Henley Arden |
OP
There is an “emotion” whether it’s a sexual turn on’ just pure lust or you find the person attractive.
The difference is you don’t need or necessary have to want to see the that person again.
It’s emotion without attachment as you say. But we are different
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x
I want to live in the world your in charge of! Ever thought about politics?"
 |
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Don’t think casual sex has been off limits for the wealthy just the plebs ,remember reading a article about the Sloane Rangers in Chelsea London there was 100 of them 50 women 50 men they had all swapped no one condemned that but if it had been working class they would have been slaughtered |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
. |
There's a myriad of reasons isn't there? Media reinforces the idea of certain types being more likely to engage in casual sex (the emotionally damaged/needy woman trope, the cider drinking, council estate dwellers, the heartless fuckers), casual sex meaning the rise of sexually transmitted infections and diseases. It's also the attitude towards sex; it being a very private and intimate act that you shouldn't engage in wily nily. Religion played a part in entrenching views undoubtedly as well.
I think a lot of it's down to societally learned behaviour, doing away with that narrow minded view takes some doing. |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"There's a myriad of reasons isn't there? Media reinforces the idea of certain types being more likely to engage in casual sex (the emotionally damaged/needy woman trope, the cider drinking, council estate dwellers, the heartless fuckers), casual sex meaning the rise of sexually transmitted infections and diseases. It's also the attitude towards sex; it being a very private and intimate act that you shouldn't engage in wily nily. Religion played a part in entrenching views undoubtedly as well.
I think a lot of it's down to societally learned behaviour, doing away with that narrow minded view takes some doing."
Agree it's narrow minded |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"There's a myriad of reasons isn't there? Media reinforces the idea of certain types being more likely to engage in casual sex (the emotionally damaged/needy woman trope, the cider drinking, council estate dwellers, the heartless fuckers), casual sex meaning the rise of sexually transmitted infections and diseases. It's also the attitude towards sex; it being a very private and intimate act that you shouldn't engage in wily nily. Religion played a part in entrenching views undoubtedly as well.
I think a lot of it's down to societally learned behaviour, doing away with that narrow minded view takes some doing.
Agree it's narrow minded"
ahhhh but here in this environment one has to see it as you do because that's what we as a collective do but to some the way they were brought up means that sex isn't important and it's only there to further new additions to life, to be parents and nurture your children into a good wholesome productive life |
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Blame the monotheistic religions. Sexual prohibitions and taboos are a great way of controlling people, by making natural urges "sins" that can only be forgiven by the priesthood.
For evidence, look at the letters between Pope Gregory and Augustine, the first Archbishop of Canterbury in the early 600s. A truly cynical way of enforcing church power over the previously Pagan Anglo-Saxon population.
Pagan religions were, and still are, much more realistic about sex being for enjoyment. |
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Thousands of years ago the pagons celebrated sex as a way to get close to god they believed an orgasam was a little bit of heaven was the rise of the christian church that started teaching sex is something to only share with loved ones |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blame the monotheistic religions. Sexual prohibitions and taboos are a great way of controlling people, by making natural urges "sins" that can only be forgiven by the priesthood.
For evidence, look at the letters between Pope Gregory and Augustine, the first Archbishop of Canterbury in the early 600s. A truly cynical way of enforcing church power over the previously Pagan Anglo-Saxon population.
Pagan religions were, and still are, much more realistic about sex being for enjoyment."
You’ve hit the nail on the head. Religion has a lot to answer for. |
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It’s installed into girls that it’s something special and not tonjust give it away etc
In reality we only have a very small window in our life’s to enjoy our body’s and should do so to full extent!
It’s a shame that we have to be so secret about our sex lifes and what we enjoy! |
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Contraception is what has given us the freedom to enjoy casual sex.
Very, very few people actually accept others who have multiple sexual partners without judgement, even among swingers.
The taboo around sex isn't just about religion. It's about people confusing love with physical ownership and seeing sex as solely an expression of love. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x"
Not everyone wants to fuck around with strangers. Some people are happy in monogamous relationships. |
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"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x
Not everyone wants to fuck around with strangers. Some people are happy in monogamous relationships. "
And this as well.
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This is a very interesting subject and here’s my take on it.
First off I have to agree that nsa sex is something of a taboo in our society, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Why do I say this? Because if it was the norm it wouldn’t have the same appeal as it has now. It wouldn’t be a naughty little secret. Let’s face it, if everyone was a swinger it would be like monogamy is now and we would have to find some other pastime to satisfy our urges!
So why do people abstain from enjoying nsa sex? The risk of getting caught by their partner, an std, they can’t be bothered with the fuss, they want to remain loyal, they’ve tried but failed to pull, their standards make it impossible to find anyone suitable, or they are happy with a monogamous relationship. These are just a few legitimate reasons and thefts without using the religious reasons.
But I honestly feel that if it was the norm, the appeal would be lost by some thrill seekers like us. |
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I agree, it shouldn’t be a big deal if you want to do it or not.
Look around and there are plenty of reasons why monogamy doesn’t work (and of course plenty where it does) but it can’t even be discussed.
A bit like homosexuality before the 1970s perhaps. Denial that there’s anything to talk about is a great weapon against freedom  |
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Let me get comfortable on my soap box here
You see it on Fab but it’s everywhere - this person has sex with others without their partner knowing; this is a bad person, a cheater.
How about recognising that the issue is why this takes place? How about that dishonesty here doesn’t necessarily make them a scumbag?
How about that people who are sexually faithful can be bad in other ways but we’ll ignore it?
Society has come a long way in my lifetime, women weren’t even supposed to have much sex let alone enjoy it. I hope we continue to break down barriers and misunderstandings so everyone’s life can be a bit less shit. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This is a simple question but a complex answer! Others have already made good points.
It's easy to blame religion. However, religion tended to absorb the social norms of the time and adapt them.
The reasons the 'rules' were out in place were probably the same as now ... to protect children, avoid jealousy and the repercussions thereof, avoid diseases etc. I've been reading about 18th century liberal behaviour and the fwb approach caused a lot of problems and some unhappy partners.
That said, I feel comfortable with the OP's world view! |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
When I go out with friends and we start talking about sex they are embarrassed for me. They don't understand why I actively look for partners off here when I should be the dutiful wife like them. One even called me a glorified whoreish but later apologised when she found out another friend was on a different site. I've gone off her a bit now! |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
"Blame the monotheistic religions. Sexual prohibitions and taboos are a great way of controlling people, by making natural urges "sins" that can only be forgiven by the priesthood.
For evidence, look at the letters between Pope Gregory and Augustine, the first Archbishop of Canterbury in the early 600s. A truly cynical way of enforcing church power over the previously Pagan Anglo-Saxon population.
Pagan religions were, and still are, much more realistic about sex being for enjoyment."
You know I thought that myself too - a means for controlling the people ! |
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By *otgirl32 OP Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
" Because if it was the norm it wouldn’t have the same appeal as it has now. It wouldn’t be a naughty little secret. Let’s face it, if everyone was a swinger it would be like monogamy is now and we would have to find some other pastime to satisfy our urges!"
You raise some intelligent points. What you write is probably true for adultery where there is a thrill and sure, for an adulterer the fun may actually disappear if the partner or society “allows” it.
However for many of us there are no such thrill. I admit, I do get a bit of a high sleeping with attached guys (call that my quirk) but most of my sex partners are not cheating men and women. In absolute terms I like having sex with multiple partners because I’m sexually attracted to them. There are no real barriers to inviting a hot single guy to my bed it’s easy as 1,2,3. I’ve had plenty of partners and so a lover in my bed is never a new experience. But I really enjoy sex and it never gets “old” for me. But it miffs me that society frowns on casual sex. |
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"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x"
If they are all coupled up there maybe a certain amount of protectionism in their attitude towards causal sex. For some it can be taboo because the concept can feel like a challenge and threat to monogomy. Some people in monogomus relationships can get very attached to the Party line in fear any deviation may be a threat to the world and outlook they've built up over years. Some people thus are very uncomfortable around concepts of non monogomy of various forms. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Blame the monotheistic religions. Sexual prohibitions and taboos are a great way of controlling people, by making natural urges "sins" that can only be forgiven by the priesthood.
For evidence, look at the letters between Pope Gregory and Augustine, the first Archbishop of Canterbury in the early 600s. A truly cynical way of enforcing church power over the previously Pagan Anglo-Saxon population.
Pagan religions were, and still are, much more realistic about sex being for enjoyment.
You’ve hit the nail on the head. Religion has a lot to answer for. "
Goes off to google pagan religion x |
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By *arkmanMan
over a year ago
hounslow |
"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x"
I could not agree more with this. I have said for years that marriage is an unnatural state for a man and woman to be in. Unfortunately my wife disagrees! Lol
But that’s fair enough, we don’t all think alike. However, I think we over complicate sex and make it seem sinful at times when in fact, I can’t think of anything that gives as much pleasure.
As for sex without emotion, is that even possible......????!!!! |
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" Because if it was the norm it wouldn’t have the same appeal as it has now. It wouldn’t be a naughty little secret. Let’s face it, if everyone was a swinger it would be like monogamy is now and we would have to find some other pastime to satisfy our urges!
You raise some intelligent points. What you write is probably true for adultery where there is a thrill and sure, for an adulterer the fun may actually disappear if the partner or society “allows” it.
However for many of us there are no such thrill. I admit, I do get a bit of a high sleeping with attached guys (call that my quirk) but most of my sex partners are not cheating men and women. In absolute terms I like having sex with multiple partners because I’m sexually attracted to them. There are no real barriers to inviting a hot single guy to my bed it’s easy as 1,2,3. I’ve had plenty of partners and so a lover in my bed is never a new experience. But I really enjoy sex and it never gets “old” for me. But it miffs me that society frowns on casual sex. "
Good points very well made x |
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By *itty9899Man
over a year ago
Craggy Island |
"So ... the other day after work 3 girls at the office and I went across for a drink, just usual banter and the topic of sex came up. 2 are married and one has a BF.
None seemed to agree with my feeling that casual sex is a good thing and society has made it a taboo unnecessarily. I heard "how can you have sex without any emotion" to which I said I absolutely LOVE no strings sex. I said I felt the world would be a lot better and happier if people had casual sex yet went back to their full time partners.
I don't see why society has taboo'd having sex buddies (like golf buddies or something similar) and insists on monogamy. If society didn't make it so, we'd all simultaneously love one partner (and made love to him/her and raise kids etc) but have loads of casual sex and be happy
x"
society enslaves us all.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Who says there's no emotion with casual sex....there has to be some form of emotion or you wouldn't want to have sex with them."
So wrong
Casual sex has no emotion
It is only only a step beyond masturbation |
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"Who says there's no emotion with casual sex....there has to be some form of emotion or you wouldn't want to have sex with them.
So wrong
Casual sex has no emotion
It is only only a step beyond masturbation"
But on your profile you say you like parties, are sex parties nothing but casual sex |
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By *_MariusMan
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
I think it partly has to do with the way girls are raised to be virtuous and boys are mostly raised to be the ones who ‘hunt’. Hence, the idea that it’s ok for a man to have different sexual partners but if a woman does it, she’s a slut.
Partly i think it also has to do with human biology-psychology. Maybe most women are bio-psychologically made up to connect sex with serious emotion. Most men might be bio-psychologically made up not necessarily to be polygamous but to separate sex from emotion  .
But also, we should remember something; ‘monogamy’ is not exclusive to the prudish ‘vanilla’ world. Even former swinger couples might end up being non-swingers again at some point. It’s not uncommon at all for the partner who has stopped ‘feeling it’ to expect the other partner to stop playing as well.
I have played with one-halves of such couples whose other-halves would have been very angry if they knew what the one-half had been up to behind their back. It is perfectly normal to be sexual and ‘promiscuous’ but it is also perfectly normal to be monogamous. X |
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Religion has a lot to answer for.
Opinions of leaders who couldn't keep vows.
Reality is we all want more than we have.
Each person may have reasons beyond the acceptance of general society.
Society builds barriers. The press lunch people publically, whilst knowing salacious stories sell papers |
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