FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Would you lower your standards if desperate?
Would you lower your standards if desperate?
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By *umbig36 OP Man
over a year ago
Northeast |
How many of us really would?
If you wanted sex (oral/anal/whatever) so badly, would you lower your standards just for some satisfaction.
And did you feel ashamed or sneak away after the deed??????
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Never....I lowered my standards once when I got with my tiny penised ex bf....They won't be lowered again 
Wow, hope you get a bigger better one next time. You deserve it"
Trust me I'm getting one now that's the same size of my forearm....He's not mine but my friend let's me have him as he's her bf  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of us really would?
If you wanted sex (oral/anal/whatever) so badly, would you lower your standards just for some satisfaction.
And did you feel ashamed or sneak away after the deed??????
"
Would using a toy count as lowering the standards? I mean it's not even a person...
Mrs |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of us really would?
If you wanted sex (oral/anal/whatever) so badly, would you lower your standards just for some satisfaction.
And did you feel ashamed or sneak away after the deed??????
"
No |
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"Sweet Jesus no, how would you get it up and maintain it if you weren't turned on by the other person. Quality over quantity "
You seem to think (to be fair, like many that have posted before you) that "lowering" your standards would mean meeting someone wholeheartedly unattractive to you. I dont see it like that, surely there are different levels of attractiveness....ie a 10 "Fuck yea I would" or a 7 "Meh, maybe". Surely on some days you would only settle for the 10 but on others the 7 would do. (In other words, lowering your standards) A long way about saying it, but yes I would.  |
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By *umbig36 OP Man
over a year ago
Northeast |
"Sweet Jesus no, how would you get it up and maintain it if you weren't turned on by the other person. Quality over quantity
You seem to think (to be fair, like many that have posted before you) that "lowering" your standards would mean meeting someone wholeheartedly unattractive to you. I dont see it like that, surely there are different levels of attractiveness....ie a 10 "Fuck yea I would" or a 7 "Meh, maybe". Surely on some days you would only settle for the 10 but on others the 7 would do. (In other words, lowering your standards) A long way about saying it, but yes I would. "
An honest answer |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To say lower our standards seems a tad like we are up ourselves. But we really aren’t. We are humble and recognise we aren’t that. However, we have a “list” of things we won’t compromise on( safe play, cleanliness, certain things we keep only for us etc) So if that’s the same as “standards” then, absolutely not...no...never...
To be fair, the other person(s) usually lose interest way before that becomes an issue .... |
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By *umbig36 OP Man
over a year ago
Northeast |
"To say lower our standards seems a tad like we are up ourselves. But we really aren’t. We are humble and recognise we aren’t that. However, we have a “list” of things we won’t compromise on( safe play, cleanliness, certain things we keep only for us etc) So if that’s the same as “standards” then, absolutely not...no...never...
To be fair, the other person(s) usually lose interest way before that becomes an issue ...."
No, those are expected. You shouldn’t have to even mention it. If you need to, walk away |
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We never really had standards that were very high anyway , so no .
But wow we had some fun along the way ,
Way more fun than we would have had if we had the kind of high standards that so many have on here .
We always maintained that as long as someone was clean and respectable it was game on  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Never lower ours...however, had one guy at a club, a few years back, saying about Vamp...” Happy to lower my standards tonight, you should be grateful”... |
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Yes, I have. I’m in no way proud of it and it is one of the meets that I wish hadn’t happened but I needed it and it was on offer. With hindsight, I should have simply pleasured myself.
I concur with one of the previous posters, standards are malleable, depending on situation and a range of other factors. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I wish I could once in a blue moon, would save me going months inbetween meeting. It would be very easy to fuck every day, I have tits and a pulse...but thankfully I have a soul. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No. If I wasn't so fussy, I could of met up with lots of ladies.
"
Second thoughts.. Havin said this, I did receive oral from a lady who wasn't my type 
So it happend for me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Probably
Although wouldn't say I carry around a list of standards that need ticked off whenever I meet someone
I either like them enough to fuck, or I don't
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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i dont have a standard in my head as such as i find different people have different things about them but would i go with someone where there's no sexual connection erm no why would i ???
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yes, once. There simply wasn't enough soap afterwards to wash away my self loathing. They were pretty low anyway...
NEVER AGAIN
And this time.... I mean it  |
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"How many of us really would?
If you wanted sex (oral/anal/whatever) so badly, would you lower your standards just for some satisfaction.
And did you feel ashamed or sneak away after the deed??????
"
Would you OP? |
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I don't think I'm better than anybody. To consider that anyone "falls below my standard" would feel, to me, unbelievably arrogant. So no, you could say I wouldn't lower my standards, because I don't HAVE any. Every person deserves the same basic level of respect as the next.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"How many of us really would?
If you wanted sex (oral/anal/whatever) so badly, would you lower your standards just for some satisfaction.
And did you feel ashamed or sneak away after the deed??????
"
Never. Besides its insulting to the other party involved. |
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By *OXO2018Couple
over a year ago
Norfolk |
I’d definitely not call it “desperate” or “lowering our standards” we’d call it getting carried away and sometimes think did we really just play with them...but hey as everyone has a good time that’s all that matters to us. |
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Nope. This side of my life is about sharing fun with likeminded people, not sex with anyone because it’s available. I’ve declined many offers in here, from profiles that didn’t interest me, walked away from social meets because I didn’t feel a connection, and left swing clubs because nobody caught my eye. I would rather have a wank (and my friends enjoy my vids ) |
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Never, we always have each other, and we are here to swing, there’s a big difference between people just meeting for sex cos they are desperate for sex and the very erotic experience of swinging and sharing x |
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"I don't think I'm better than anybody. To consider that anyone "falls below my standard" would feel, to me, unbelievably arrogant. So no, you could say I wouldn't lower my standards, because I don't HAVE any. Every person deserves the same basic level of respect as the next. "
Love this answer , and we were pretty much the same when we were meeting |
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Male half here.
As long as the woman is clean in terms of hygiene and clearly looks after Thier sexual health I'm generally not picky in terms of looks, it doesn't mean I lower my standards it just means I can normally find something sexy in most women, just because they may be older, or larger etc doesn't mean they can't be sexy, I enjoy a naughty personality and variety.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Nope, that’s my downfall, I’ve got tastes my face can’t afford but I’d rather go without than have sex with a girl I didn’t fancy. I just don’t see the point. |
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"Male half here.
As long as the woman is clean in terms of hygiene and clearly looks after Thier sexual health I'm generally not picky in terms of looks, it doesn't mean I lower my standards it just means I can normally find something sexy in most women, just because they may be older, or larger etc doesn't mean they can't be sexy, I enjoy a naughty personality and variety.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Funniest thread of the day.....
Just about everyone saying no, some so far up there own arses they don’t meet hardly anyone anyway......
The whole idea of even responding to the question “lowering your standards” smacks of an ideology steeped in snobbery, a sense of self worth above the reality of real life and not in keeping with swinging.... |
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"Funniest thread of the day.....
Just about everyone saying no, some so far up there own arses they don’t meet hardly anyone anyway......
The whole idea of even responding to the question “lowering your standards” smacks of an ideology steeped in snobbery, a sense of self worth above the reality of real life and not in keeping with swinging...."
Yep, exactly how I see it too.
It’s good to see a few people saying that they don’t put themselves on a pedestal, and treat everyone as equal. But they are few and far between on these forums.
I’m pretty glad we’ve given it all up now to be honest, because I would hate to think I was being a part of such elitism. It ain’t what it was and that’s for sure!
What gets me is the way the very same people who think they are all that, are the same people who complain the loudest when a thread about any kind of discrimination comes up! You couldn’t make this shit up! |
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By *umbig36 OP Man
over a year ago
Northeast |
"How many of us really would?
If you wanted sex (oral/anal/whatever) so badly, would you lower your standards just for some satisfaction.
And did you feel ashamed or sneak away after the deed??????
Would you OP?"
Possibly
I usually go for personality, smile, eyes, nice bum.
If we got on great and I felt comfortably.
Yes! I dare say I would consider someone I wouldn’t ordinarily go for. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funniest thread of the day.....
Just about everyone saying no, some so far up there own arses they don’t meet hardly anyone anyway......
The whole idea of even responding to the question “lowering your standards” smacks of an ideology steeped in snobbery, a sense of self worth above the reality of real life and not in keeping with swinging....
Yep, exactly how I see it too.
It’s good to see a few people saying that they don’t put themselves on a pedestal, and treat everyone as equal. But they are few and far between on these forums.
I’m pretty glad we’ve given it all up now to be honest, because I would hate to think I was being a part of such elitism. It ain’t what it was and that’s for sure!
What gets me is the way the very same people who think they are all that, are the same people who complain the loudest when a thread about any kind of discrimination comes up! You couldn’t make this shit up!"
You couldn’t, could you?
Swinging is rife with elitism and it normally comes from low self esteem. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So just because you are a swinger you should sleep with people you don’t find attractive?
Wtf is that all about?"
Not sure you are referring to our comment, if so you’ve missed the point somewhat x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Funniest thread of the day.....
Just about everyone saying no, some so far up there own arses they don’t meet hardly anyone anyway......
The whole idea of even responding to the question “lowering your standards” smacks of an ideology steeped in snobbery, a sense of self worth above the reality of real life and not in keeping with swinging....
Yep, exactly how I see it too.
It’s good to see a few people saying that they don’t put themselves on a pedestal, and treat everyone as equal. But they are few and far between on these forums.
I’m pretty glad we’ve given it all up now to be honest, because I would hate to think I was being a part of such elitism. It ain’t what it was and that’s for sure!
What gets me is the way the very same people who think they are all that, are the same people who complain the loudest when a thread about any kind of discrimination comes up! You couldn’t make this shit up!"
yes but as you know the forums are just a small percentage of the membership and some won't quite be honest anyway if push came to shove  |
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"So just because you are a swinger you should sleep with people you don’t find attractive?
Wtf is that all about?"
It’s not so much that you should sleep with people you don’t find attractive. It’s more the way people are very quick to put themselves above those that they don’t find attractive. Like they are better in some way or another than those they don’t want to shag, and this isn’t usually the case.
I always say that when we started swinging, and we had a specific type we sought, it was nowhere near as much fun as it became when we no longer had such stipulations in place.
Cleanliness, respect, and a pleasant attitude are way more important than looks in my honest opinion. |
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No but I don't meet one type of person for one particular activity. There are definitely people who I will never meet and my choices are influenced by people that ive met before.
Needs change too and are context dependant. In short, I don't think that I'm too much different to most people but also perceive that there is natural flexibility and context is all - an independent rational analysis would confirm that others shift who/what is perceived as acceptable. Most people will also disagree that this is true for themselves. |
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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago
Pleasuretown |
"How many of us really would?
If you wanted sex (oral/anal/whatever) so badly, would you lower your standards just for some satisfaction.
And did you feel ashamed or sneak away after the deed??????
"
NO. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have been with people on and away from fab that id not normally be attracted to for the purpose of having some fun, like meeting much older or bigger than id usually go for, but been fun.
I think being a single guy on fab without a six pack or vwe, then most of us probably have to compromise in some way |
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People don't come with an official rating categorisation, everyone is totally unique. So there's not a rejection based on someone being say below 3stars, such as an hotel has. We take an immediate assessment and this gets updated as we gather more information and assessments - all of this is based on our needs in that context. Our preferences change throughout our lifetime, largely subconsciously, finding people today attractive that we didn't a few years ago. Sometimes it could appear like lowered standards - bur it's just natural difference.
We're not static creatures, our preferences and tastes vary over time and by context, all very naturally. This is different to picking partners where it can't work, because attraction is absent. We shift our choices, which you could also view as our standards, if you add a judgemental perspective. And no, I'm as picky as the next |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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This has to be a trick question:
1. Everyone will say no, to stop themselves looking less fickle when horny apart from
2. Those who said yes for comedy value.
If you were to ask (and some have answered in that way) would you look outside of your preferences, there may be a different set of answers.
However, you can guarantee there will be a hard core who say no way but will make an exception when it suits them and not you.
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