FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > How do you explain what you do to your partner
How do you explain what you do to your partner
Jump to: Newest in thread
 |
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Hi ive been in a relatiinship now for a couple months and want to get her into it but how would you come across shr is only 18 so dont want to scare her haha tia
David  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I (Luke) have never had to explain anything since starting our relationship. In conversations before anything happened I was completely up-front about my sexual history and desires as was she. By the time things happened between us she was well aware and had already had plenty of time to make choices about how she felt about it.
In your situation, I hope you are not doing anything behind her back that could hurt her. If you are I would wonder why you are in the relationship.
If you want to bring it up I'd be asking "What do you think of..." in a respectful manner (rather than "Can we...") and be prepared to accept her saying she's not interested. You also could ask about her fantasies and see what aligns with yours and you can start talking about if you two want to make them realities.
Whatever you do, don't push her into anything she's not comfortable with and don't use her as a way of getting more action for yourself.
In our relationship, we come first and swinging is an optional extra. I recommend that if she and your relationship are important to you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
Your status concerns me. You don't make a respected and loved partner do anything
step back, consider where you want your relationship to go and how long you would like it to last. Establish good emotional communication and let that lead to good sexual communication. Once all that's in place (it'll take months /years not days or weeks) it will be easy to chat about mutual sexual fantasies. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *enonlyMan
over a year ago
Stoke On Trent |
"I (Luke) have never had to explain anything since starting our relationship. In conversations before anything happened I was completely up-front about my sexual history and desires as was she. By the time things happened between us she was well aware and had already had plenty of time to make choices about how she felt
about it.
Well said
In your situation, I hope you are not doing anything behind her back that could hurt her. If you are I would wonder why you are in the relationship.
If you want to bring it up I'd be asking "What do you think of..." in a respectful manner (rather than "Can we...") and be prepared to accept her saying she's not interested. You also could ask about her fantasies and see what aligns with yours and you can start talking about if you two want to make them realities.
Whatever you do, don't push her into anything she's not comfortable with and don't use her as a way of getting more action for yourself.
In our relationship, we come first and swinging is an optional extra. I recommend that if she and your relationship are important to you. "
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
No I would never go behind her back just want to experience it with her but I would love to see her with other people its a real turn on for me just dont know how to bring it to her if you get what I mean and thanks for youre feedback  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
Thanks and I would not make her just if I say what I like or whatever just dont want her to turn around and say thats wierd just want to start with something subtle but dont know where to start |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Thanks and I would not make her just if I say what I like or whatever just dont want her to turn around and say thats wierd just want to start with something subtle but dont know where to start"
I don't think there is a subtle way you can tell an 18yr old girl that you've been dating for 2 months that you want to watch her get fucked by another man / men / women / whatever.
You have to have 100% faith in each other for swinging to work, 100% trust and have an absolutely rock solid relationship.
I've been with my OH for nearly 6.5 years and we've been talking about it for at least a couple of them.....And it's only this year that we decided to properly go for it.
I'm not suggesting you are like us, but I think you need a bit more time to build on the relationship if you are actually serious about keeping it.
Personally, I would worry that whether you pillow talk it, tell her you had a dream, or watch a movie will scare the cr@p out of her...
But good luck whatever you decide to do. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Thanks and I would not make her just if I say what I like or whatever just dont want her to turn around and say thats wierd just want to start with something subtle but dont know where to start
I don't think there is a subtle way you can tell an 18yr old girl that you've been dating for 2 months that you want to watch her get fucked by another man / men / women / whatever.
You have to have 100% faith in each other for swinging to work, 100% trust and have an absolutely rock solid relationship.
I've been with my OH for nearly 6.5 years and we've been talking about it for at least a couple of them.....And it's only this year that we decided to properly go for it.
I'm not suggesting you are like us, but I think you need a bit more time to build on the relationship if you are actually serious about keeping it.
Personally, I would worry that whether you pillow talk it, tell her you had a dream, or watch a movie will scare the cr@p out of her...
But good luck whatever you decide to do. "
Thank you
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"No I would never go behind her back just want to experience it with her but I would love to see her with other people its a real turn on for me just dont know how to bring it to her if you get what I mean and thanks for youre feedback "
What you would like to see is pretty much irrelevant. It is what she would like to do that is important. If she is happy to be with other people and she enjoys it you can share her enjoyment. If she doesn't its a non starter. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"No I would never go behind her back just want to experience it with her but I would love to see her with other people its a real turn on for me just dont know how to bring it to her if you get what I mean and thanks for youre feedback
What you would like to see is pretty much irrelevant. It is what she would like to do that is important. If she is happy to be with other people and she enjoys it you can share her enjoyment. If she doesn't its a non starter."
The problem is (and I don't know the girl so I may well be wrong) that at 18, even an old 18, may well feel under pressure to do it for you, OP.
It was my OH that didn't agree for a long time, until he was absolutely convinced that I would be ok.
Just consider this too...
N x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"No I would never go behind her back just want to experience it with her but I would love to see her with other people its a real turn on for me just dont know how to bring it to her if you get what I mean and thanks for youre feedback
What you would like to see is pretty much irrelevant. It is what she would like to do that is important. If she is happy to be with other people and she enjoys it you can share her enjoyment. If she doesn't its a non starter."
I get that but its just how to find out what she likes I need some subtle hints to drop haha |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi ive been in a relatiinship now for a couple months and want to get her into it but how would you come across shr is only 18 so dont want to scare her haha tia
David "
According to your verifications you had a social meet 8 days ago.
Why when only 2 months in to a relationship and in the supposed honeymoon period are you meeting others? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi ive been in a relatiinship now for a couple months and want to get her into it but how would you come across shr is only 18 so dont want to scare her haha tia
David
According to your verifications you had a social meet 8 days ago.
Why when only 2 months in to a relationship and in the supposed honeymoon period are you meeting others?"
 busted  |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Hi ive been in a relatiinship now for a couple months and want to get her into it but how would you come across shr is only 18 so dont want to scare her haha tia
David
According to your verifications you had a social meet 8 days ago.
Why when only 2 months in to a relationship and in the supposed honeymoon period are you meeting others?
busted "
Oh dear..... someone has been telling porkies.... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Hi ive been in a relatiinship now for a couple months and want to get her into it but how would you come across shr is only 18 so dont want to scare her haha tia
David
According to your verifications you had a social meet 8 days ago.
Why when only 2 months in to a relationship and in the supposed honeymoon period are you meeting others?"
If you look on the person that verified me I left a verification months ago thats the only time I met him he took a while to verify me back
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic
