FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Why keep messages if you ain't interested
Why keep messages if you ain't interested
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Why are people keeping messages if there is no intension of replying/meeting? Ive seen profiles where people ask for a whole list of things in a message and then once its sent they read and keep it but won't reply and then get the arse if you follow up on it... if you ain't interested delete the message simples! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people keep the messages, without replying, as a way of ‘filtering’ out the ones they are not interested in.
Also, if you receive no reply, it flashes a ‘warning’ if you try to mislead again.
I guess it is just their way of deciding who they wish to meet, or not.
Who knows? Maybe they are keeping them, for contact later? |
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Couldn't agree more. 'read, deleted' can sting a bit but at least you know you need to move on.
I assume it's often people putting me in the 'maybe' pile or keeping it to show the other half.
I leave it a few days then delete the sent message so I don't have to see it sitting there. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Also, why send another when they haven't replied to the first one? There's an automated warning that comes up saying that they ha en replied, obviously by sending a second message that's being ignored completely. Fab faq section does state that no reply is no interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Why are people keeping messages if there is no intension of replying/meeting? Ive seen profiles where people ask for a whole list of things in a message and then once its sent they read and keep it but won't reply and then get the arse if you follow up on it... if you ain't interested delete the message simples!"
they maybe get so many messages they scroll over the page into oblivion
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True people have the right but if i liked your pics or send a wink and you reply with a face pic and a nice message but get no reply but also realise your message is acknowledged but not deleted would it not make you feel a little miss lead?  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"True people have the right but if i liked your pics or send a wink and you reply with a face pic and a nice message but get no reply but also realise your message is acknowledged but not deleted would it not make you feel a little miss lead? "
popular women even if they've spoken to you and are friendly only see and reply to one message in five |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I don't delete any messages at all. Trim as my bf has the right in my view to read any message on here and so I leave them there in case he does want to have a look. I keep nothing from him and his respect and view outweigh any guy that does message me.
Whilst my profile is in hiding you can't see it but I do actually say for people not to message me. But they do anyways |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't delete any messages at all. Trim as my bf has the right in my view to read any message on here and so I leave them there in case he does want to have a look. I keep nothing from him and his respect and view outweigh any guy that does message me.
Whilst my profile is in hiding you can't see it but I do actually say for people not to message me. But they do anyways "
awwwww that's so heartfelt....... You love him to bits.......  |
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I’m always wondering this, you often hear that people keep messages that they have read, with the intention of coming back to it when they have time, which I totally get, especially when you hear about the volume of messages the ladies and couples receive on here.
The proportion of read, but un returned / non deleted messages I send is huge, I would say less than 10% of the messages I send to people making initial contact are either deleted or I get a reply, the rest remain unread, or read but undeleted.
Can you ladies imagine working with those stats ladies?? F@&£ing draining I can tell you. |
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"True people have the right but if i liked your pics or send a wink and you reply with a face pic and a nice message but get no reply but also realise your message is acknowledged but not deleted would it not make you feel a little miss lead? "
No. They've read your message. It doesn't mean anything. Assume the answer is no unless you hear otherwise. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I don't delete any messages at all. Trim as my bf has the right in my view to read any message on here and so I leave them there in case he does want to have a look. I keep nothing from him and his respect and view outweigh any guy that does message me.
Whilst my profile is in hiding you can't see it but I do actually say for people not to message me. But they do anyways awwwww that's so heartfelt....... You love him to bits....... "
That I do  |
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My inbox, a guide. (just my inbox)
Unread: I haven't read it. Assume nothing.
Unread (2): I've marked unread and want to come back to it for some reason. Assume nothing.
Read and not replied: I could be coming back to it, assume nothing.
Deleted read: I didn't like your message. You can try again later (weeks minimum) with a different approach. Assume nothing except you didn't meet my criteria at this time.
Deleted unread: I could tell that you didn't meet my criteria without opening the message. Assume you need to up your game.
Any form of blocking: hopefully obvious, but apparently not.
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"Mad idea, people could just be upfront and honest about their intentions, some aren’t here to play games.... others clearly are....
Sorry silly idea, what was I thinking !?!"
Or maybe people should not read intent where none is intended. |
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and I find the whole ignoring thing self defeating, the minute I get a clear message back saying ‘no ta’ I block and move on, that way I know I’ll never accidentally darken their inbox again  .
No drama, no hassle, all the best, I move on
HG |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I would say don't think about it too much!
I have around 20,000 emails just left in my personal everyday email.
I get hundreds of messages on here and if it wasn't for my partner they'd never get deleted and would always just show as read. My partner logs in throughout the day and deletes them if they have been opened.
If they're interested, they will let you know.  |
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"Mad idea, people could just be upfront and honest about their intentions, some aren’t here to play games.... others clearly are....
Sorry silly idea, what was I thinking !?!
Or maybe people should not read intent where none is intended. "
I don’t like to make assumptions on others behalf, can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings |
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The thing about fab is that you can only control the way you use it not anybody else. Your experience will be less stressful if you accept that people do things differently to you and adjust your expectations accordingly. |
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"I would say don't think about it too much!
I have around 20,000 emails just left in my personal everyday email.
I get hundreds of messages on here and if it wasn't for my partner they'd never get deleted and would always just show as read. My partner logs in throughout the day and deletes them if they have been opened.
If they're interested, they will let you know. "
Bugger, my down fall, thinking...  |
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The only, only clear definitive answers are a reply yes*, a reply no, or a block. Everything else is a matter of interpretation and you can't know.
* even that is contingent
Send the message, let it go. |
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"The only, only clear definitive answers are a reply yes*, a reply no, or a block. Everything else is a matter of interpretation and you can't know.
* even that is contingent
Send the message, let it go. "
So you agree a reply is helpful? |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"Couldn't agree more. 'read, deleted' can sting a bit but at least you know you need to move on.
I assume it's often people putting me in the 'maybe' pile or keeping it to show the other half.
I leave it a few days then delete the sent message so I don't have to see it sitting there. "
I think is the best approach to take. |
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"The only, only clear definitive answers are a reply yes*, a reply no, or a block. Everything else is a matter of interpretation and you can't know.
* even that is contingent
Send the message, let it go.
So you agree a reply is helpful?"
It might be for you, which is the perspective I was taking. From my perspective it's often a waste of time and leads to an increase in abuse.
On this side of the fence: not everything I do on Fab has magical significance to any given boner. I'm just doing things, as my own person. |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy."
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"The thing about fab is that you can only control the way you use it not anybody else. Your experience will be less stressful if you accept that people do things differently to you and adjust your expectations accordingly. "
exactly......... The trouble is when you find someone who thinks exactly as you do omg nightmare |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy."
Can't make everyone happy. Fuck them in the non fun way. |
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"I would say don't think about it too much!
I have around 20,000 emails just left in my personal everyday email.
I get hundreds of messages on here and if it wasn't for my partner they'd never get deleted and would always just show as read. My partner logs in throughout the day and deletes them if they have been opened.
If they're interested, they will let you know. "
20,000 - I think it’s time to abandon that account and start a fresh one |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?! "
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold. |
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"The only, only clear definitive answers are a reply yes*, a reply no, or a block. Everything else is a matter of interpretation and you can't know.
* even that is contingent
Send the message, let it go.
So you agree a reply is helpful?
It might be for you, which is the perspective I was taking. From my perspective it's often a waste of time and leads to an increase in abuse.
On this side of the fence: not everything I do on Fab has magical significance to any given boner. I'm just doing things, as my own person. "
Sorry I must of misunderstood, from your message giving the three options I should apply once I’ve sent a message, two of them involved someone replying, thought that kinda indicated a reply would be the best way. |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold."
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Can't make everyone happy. Fuck them in the non fun way. "
Quite F*cking true. |
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"The only, only clear definitive answers are a reply yes*, a reply no, or a block. Everything else is a matter of interpretation and you can't know.
* even that is contingent
Send the message, let it go.
So you agree a reply is helpful?
It might be for you, which is the perspective I was taking. From my perspective it's often a waste of time and leads to an increase in abuse.
On this side of the fence: not everything I do on Fab has magical significance to any given boner. I'm just doing things, as my own person.
Sorry I must of misunderstood, from your message giving the three options I should apply once I’ve sent a message, two of them involved someone replying, thought that kinda indicated a reply would be the best way. "
No, just the most certain way. Everything else is a matter of interpretation. |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx"
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then."
Ross? |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then."
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure |
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"The only, only clear definitive answers are a reply yes*, a reply no, or a block. Everything else is a matter of interpretation and you can't know.
* even that is contingent
Send the message, let it go.
So you agree a reply is helpful?
It might be for you, which is the perspective I was taking. From my perspective it's often a waste of time and leads to an increase in abuse.
On this side of the fence: not everything I do on Fab has magical significance to any given boner. I'm just doing things, as my own person.
Sorry I must of misunderstood, from your message giving the three options I should apply once I’ve sent a message, two of them involved someone replying, thought that kinda indicated a reply would be the best way.
No, just the most certain way. Everything else is a matter of interpretation. "
My point exactly, thank you x |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
Ross? "
Shush I'm still not talking to you. |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure "
Well tell your boss he's flipping naughty and to get back to work,sitting on Fab won't bring the pennies in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
20,000 - I think it’s time to abandon that account and start a fresh one "
I'm tempted! It is years old to be fair. I just can't be bothered deleting messages, too much effort. And 90% of it is junk anyway, junk mail ain't worth my time  |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure
Well tell your boss he's flipping naughty and to get back to work,sitting on Fab won't bring the pennies in."
But it’s more fun
Well some of the time  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
Ross?
Shush I'm still not talking to you."
So why replying to me then ?!?! |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure
Well tell your boss he's flipping naughty and to get back to work,sitting on Fab won't bring the pennies in.
But it’s more fun
Well some of the time "
I have a shed you can rent if you ever find yourself homeless. |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
Ross?
Shush I'm still not talking to you.
So why replying to me then ?!?! "
I'm not I'm replying to your shoes,he can pass the message on. |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure
Well tell your boss he's flipping naughty and to get back to work,sitting on Fab won't bring the pennies in.
But it’s more fun
Well some of the time
I have a shed you can rent if you ever find yourself homeless."
You are very kind, so what’s the rent?? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
Ross?
Shush I'm still not talking to you.
So why replying to me then ?!?!
I'm not I'm replying to your shoes,he can pass the message on."
They say hello and miss your piss
#wednsedayrhyme |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
Ross?
Shush I'm still not talking to you.
So why replying to me then ?!?!
I'm not I'm replying to your shoes,he can pass the message on.
They say hello and miss your piss
#wednsedayrhyme "
Tell him I'll p*ss on him anyday. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
Ross?
Shush I'm still not talking to you.
So why replying to me then ?!?!
I'm not I'm replying to your shoes,he can pass the message on.
They say hello and miss your piss
#wednsedayrhyme
Tell him I'll p*ss on him anyday. "
You'd make his day |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure
Well tell your boss he's flipping naughty and to get back to work,sitting on Fab won't bring the pennies in.
But it’s more fun
Well some of the time
I have a shed you can rent if you ever find yourself homeless.
You are very kind, so what’s the rent?? "
£525pw I'll even move out my mower and bike for you,that'll give you an extra 20cms to stretch out. |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure
Well tell your boss he's flipping naughty and to get back to work,sitting on Fab won't bring the pennies in.
But it’s more fun
Well some of the time
I have a shed you can rent if you ever find yourself homeless.
You are very kind, so what’s the rent??
£525pw I'll even move out my mower and bike for you,that'll give you an extra 20cms to stretch out."
If you move the bike, what will you ride ?? |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"True people have the right but if i liked your pics or send a wink and you reply with a face pic and a nice message but get no reply but also realise your message is acknowledged but not deleted would it not make you feel a little miss lead? "
No. No reply is no interest, I wouldn't feel mislead at all. In what way are you feeling mislead? Do you feel the owe you a reply just because they've read it and not deleted it? |
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"It's a complicated world we live in,I just don't know the rules for keeping every God damn person bloody HAPPY.
Sun's out though I'm happy.
Very true, stunning day huh!?! And what with it being Wimbledon week too, most unusual !?!
Indeed,not that I actually watch it mind. Its way too hot for doing anything more than lifting a refreshing glass of something cold.
Lucky you, stuck at work here, you’re making me very jealous here, enjoy xx
I shall enjoy it for the both of us. I presume you're on a break then.
My own boss so I’m able to procrastinate / perv at my leisure
Well tell your boss he's flipping naughty and to get back to work,sitting on Fab won't bring the pennies in.
But it’s more fun
Well some of the time
I have a shed you can rent if you ever find yourself homeless.
You are very kind, so what’s the rent??
£525pw I'll even move out my mower and bike for you,that'll give you an extra 20cms to stretch out.
If you move the bike, what will you ride ?? "
The bike hasn't been ridden in year's so no great loss. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We keep messages for quite a while even when we arent interested in the slightest.
Mainly so that when we get another one, we can remember what was said last time.
Its quite useful to be able to remind someone of the creepy stuff they sent previously, as many of them seem to forget.
We arent overly fussed about what ideas other people get. Says in the faq, no reply means no interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"As usual, everything is focused on answering people with a no.
It’s almost like - how dare these awful, desperate men contact women on this site?
"
It seems more focused on the fact that some people seem to think that we owe them some sort of closure by acting a certain way, ie deleting the message.
The fact is that we dont. Not in the slightest. |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"As usual, everything is focused on answering people with a no.
It’s almost like - how dare these awful, desperate men contact women on this site?
It seems more focused on the fact that some people seem to think that we owe them some sort of closure by acting a certain way, ie deleting the message.
The fact is that we dont. Not in the slightest. "
This
I really don't understand why people get in such a knot about messages on here - it's quite simple, if someone doesn't reply, the message didn't merit one.
All this trying to second guess someone's intent, or expect them to run *their* mailbox in a particular way will only lead to frustration - just accept that sometimes you'll get a reply, sometimes you won't and life becomes so much less complicated.
Likewise, sometimes people delete their messages, sometimes they don't no point trying to read something into it. |
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By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"As usual, everything is focused on answering people with a no.
It’s almost like - how dare these awful, desperate men contact women on this site?
It seems more focused on the fact that some people seem to think that we owe them some sort of closure by acting a certain way, ie deleting the message.
The fact is that we dont. Not in the slightest.
This
I really don't understand why people get in such a knot about messages on here - it's quite simple, if someone doesn't reply, the message didn't merit one.
All this trying to second guess someone's intent, or expect them to run *their* mailbox in a particular way will only lead to frustration - just accept that sometimes you'll get a reply, sometimes you won't and life becomes so much less complicated.
Likewise, sometimes people delete their messages, sometimes they don't no point trying to read something into it."
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
I’m almost certain other people are similar to myself in this way but I have many kinks, many needs. Most of which are separate to one another, there are times where I want a nice of sensual sex. Others I want rough sex... my mood dictates my needs and as such a message one day may not synchronise with my needs in that moment.The following week however, that could be exactly what I need.
It’s often your wording that’s suggestive of your wishes, if they don’t correlate with the person reading it then they may just leave you waiting so when the time is right everything flows.
In addition to this time is a critical factor, for some it’s pointless starting a conversation way ahead of time as when the opportunity for a meet does become available it could have lost its flame so to speak. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m always wondering this, you often hear that people keep messages that they have read, with the intention of coming back to it when they have time, which I totally get, especially when you hear about the volume of messages the ladies and couples receive on here.
The proportion of read, but un returned / non deleted messages I send is huge, I would say less than 10% of the messages I send to people making initial contact are either deleted or I get a reply, the rest remain unread, or read but undeleted.
Can you ladies imagine working with those stats ladies?? F@&£ing draining I can tell you."
I know it feels shit. That's why I always reply to first messages. |
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By *wingfellowMan
over a year ago
my own little sanctuary |
"I’m always wondering this, you often hear that people keep messages that they have read, with the intention of coming back to it when they have time, which I totally get, especially when you hear about the volume of messages the ladies and couples receive on here.
The proportion of read, but un returned / non deleted messages I send is huge, I would say less than 10% of the messages I send to people making initial contact are either deleted or I get a reply, the rest remain unread, or read but undeleted.
Can you ladies imagine working with those stats ladies?? F@&£ing draining I can tell you.
I know it feels shit. That's why I always reply to first messages. "
If they took the time to scroll through your profile I should hope so! Haha |
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3 reasons for me keeping messages
1) it’s a couples profile so we both read, so messages will go read/unread until the other has read, then either delete if it looks like they won’t be a good match haven’t read profile etc or reply if the peak our interest or..
2) if we are interested but can’t plan a meet yet often we will just leave the message there to look back on discuss later (we used to reply saying kind of the above but that just means the sender will message you morning noon & night asking if you’re ready to meet yet, believe it or not ignoring it for a week is better)
3) sometimes we honestly can’t keep up, yesterday we spent an hour going through our mailbox & there’s still probably 50 read messages in there that need something doing with them - unfortunately for women & couples you need a full time secretary to manage your mailbox
MrsH |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"As usual, everything is focused on answering people with a no.
It’s almost like - how dare these awful, desperate men contact women on this site?
It seems more focused on the fact that some people seem to think that we owe them some sort of closure by acting a certain way, ie deleting the message.
The fact is that we dont. Not in the slightest.
This
I really don't understand why people get in such a knot about messages on here - it's quite simple, if someone doesn't reply, the message didn't merit one.
All this trying to second guess someone's intent, or expect them to run *their* mailbox in a particular way will only lead to frustration - just accept that sometimes you'll get a reply, sometimes you won't and life becomes so much less complicated.
Likewise, sometimes people delete their messages, sometimes they don't no point trying to read something into it."
I agree with GM.
I think that an awful lot of people get frustrated with how people manage their inboxes and look for some kind of code in the read/unread/deleted variables.
The simple answer is to delete your sent messages, if they respond; great! If not, then you have your answer.
I really don't understand why so many place such emphasis on sending cold messages as the primary form of contact and then get so frustrated.
Tea |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m always wondering this, you often hear that people keep messages that they have read, with the intention of coming back to it when they have time, which I totally get, especially when you hear about the volume of messages the ladies and couples receive on here.
The proportion of read, but un returned / non deleted messages I send is huge, I would say less than 10% of the messages I send to people making initial contact are either deleted or I get a reply, the rest remain unread, or read but undeleted.
Can you ladies imagine working with those stats ladies?? F@&£ing draining I can tell you.
I know it feels shit. That's why I always reply to first messages.
If they took the time to scroll through your profile I should hope so! Haha"
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