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Not attractive enough
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That awkward moment when another couple say the male is not attractive enough for me to play!
Ha ha who else has had this?
I get that we cant all be everyone's cup of tea.
But it does suck ( or doesn't in this case)
Up and onwards!! |
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"It's very hard op, to find a couple that you find both halves attractive... like you say just move on x"
Comepletly agree with you 
I think it's just we take a different approach with couples when that happens.
More of the, we will be in touch if Interested kinda route
Slightly less brutal |
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Some people don't always give the fully honest reason, or speak diplomatically. There's no need to single one person out, with a put-down, for example. There's never a need to put another person down at all, when we can simply state that something wouldn't work, though it's definitely better than anyone going through with a meet, where they already know it wouldn't. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Happens to us a lot....although, we do think that a few of the ‘couples profiles’, especially the ‘wife lets/wants/agrees’ type, are just hoping to bag the female half...hey ho.
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"Some people don't always give the fully honest reason, or speak diplomatically. There's no need to single one person out, with a put-down, for example. There's never a need to put another person down at all, when we can simply state that something wouldn't work, though it's definitely better than anyone going through with a meet, where they already know it wouldn't."
This is very true, the rejection is fine! It's the blow of self confidence that's harder to swallow.
I'm a big boy and will get over it.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Sorry OP I do think it's a but insensitive, but at least you know where you stand. I think it's a natural reaction for some women on here as many do not take no for an answer, especially with and open ended one x |
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At least they are honest, could have just said sorry as a couple we don’t quite feel the attraction enough, apologies
Might be an idea to have more of his photos in your profile so they see him as much as you that way it would save hurt feelings when they do see more of him |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair it’s better to have an honest answer, it’s nothing personal against you, attraction isn’t a choice. Also, it’s nicer than being with a couple where it’s clear one person is totally in charge and the other isn’t really enjoying hit into, or they’re secretly making compromises in any way, shape or form. Seen a few couples who appear that way. |
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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago
Up on them there hills |
To us this is why we use clubs, L is stunning, always dressed to impress, and she does, me older, slightly (okay take out the slightly) overweight silver fox and stunning in a dungeon.
We’re choosy too, there are many that want to play with us, however it is down to chemistry, that’s why we use clubs. There is not a lot of chemistry in a message. Face to face now things can Zing.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just try and think that it is their opinion only. I'm sure others would completely disagree with their opinion. Someone's plain is another's beautiful
Holly |
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"We’ve had women in couples insist Mr B shave his beard off before they’d meet us! So much so we had to put a notice on our profile to say as much.
S x "
are you serious??? Wow!
There is no way I would shave my beard off, I love my beard more than sex ha ha |
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By *lick9Man
over a year ago
Stockport |
I think sometimes they need to take one for the team as I am sure it would be worth while but people can be fickle. Much better for them to say they would loved to play be cannot at present. That way it's a polite let down if they dont fancy the other half |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm sure you've got it wrong mate, It was the fem they didn't fancy and just thought you would be able to take the rejection better works for me every time  |
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"That awkward moment when another couple say the male is not attractive enough for me to play!
Ha ha who else has had this?
I get that we cant all be everyone's cup of tea.
But it does suck ( or doesn't in this case)
Up and onwards!! "
I feel your pain buddy |
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It's part of the game, sometimes it's the other way round too. But no one should take one for the team. Looks are subjective and in terms of a couple may have been given less priority in the presence of more attractive relationship must haves. It's hard enough to get a 2 way match never mind a 4 way match.
It's a very awkward situation but I think most of us who swing as a couple have encountered it. At the end of the day if a couple come as a pair you need to accept that and 50% right is always 100% no. There is no need to single out the individual just say you don't want to play with them (sadly I think sometimes they'll know why anyway, some people's partners are a hard sell). And of couse (as we have found) sometime you make good social swinger freinds that you'd never play with (and maybe likewise the other way round). |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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have come across a few couples profiles that put no mingers,fatties,baldies etc and then added the word yuk afterwards which i think is quite a horrible thing to say.i get the everyone has their preference but dont understand the need to use such cruel words |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That awkward moment when another couple say the male is not attractive enough for me to play!
Ha ha who else has had this?
I get that we cant all be everyone's cup of tea.
But it does suck ( or doesn't in this case)
Up and onwards!! "
This is why we do social meets now. No pressure. |
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We’re not so vain, but always come as a package, a lot of male half’s of couples message us. Generally trying for the fem happy for your partner to watch etc.
When this happens you can tell it’s a carpet show that’s going to happen girl on girl to please her partner and he jumps in when he can’t take anymore |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Having a good looking wife and knowing most guys and some ladies fancy her, is hard if the women doesn't fancy the guy. But I don't expect her to take one for the team, just to please her hubby. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Generally the male in the couple is a screamer "
think you're find the male will shag almost anyone, but women are more fussy. Don't blame them it's their body's.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"That awkward moment when another couple say the male is not attractive enough for me to play!
Ha ha who else has had this?
I get that we cant all be everyone's cup of tea.
But it does suck ( or doesn't in this case)
Up and onwards!! "
I just looked at five couples pics as a result of this thread and yours was only profile with pics of the guy lol not good really |
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"That awkward moment when another couple say the male is not attractive enough for me to play!
Ha ha who else has had this?
I get that we cant all be everyone's cup of tea.
But it does suck ( or doesn't in this case)
Up and onwards!! I just looked at five couples pics as a result of this thread and yours was only profile with pics of the guy lol not good really "
Is that a good or bad thing? Ha ha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I know that it's brutal but would you prefer to be ghosted?
At least this way you know.
Don't take it personally, mate.
We're all wired differently...you might find that next couple can't get enough of you. |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
We get lots of people looks but very few messages. C is carrying a little weight and has chest hair (I love it he can't get rid).
And we think this is probably the reason we don't get a lot of messages. I get alot of attention though which I do feel bad for him sometimes. |
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"We get lots of people looks but very few messages. C is carrying a little weight and has chest hair (I love it he can't get rid).
And we think this is probably the reason we don't get a lot of messages. I get alot of attention though which I do feel bad for him sometimes. "
Same here, mrs get the attention which is great and I love!
But I am over weight etc. But far from unattractive ha ha.
It was just the delivery of the message was woah! |
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By *andKBCouple
over a year ago
Plymouth |
"We get lots of people looks but very few messages. C is carrying a little weight and has chest hair (I love it he can't get rid).
And we think this is probably the reason we don't get a lot of messages. I get alot of attention though which I do feel bad for him sometimes.
Same here, mrs get the attention which is great and I love!
But I am over weight etc. But far from unattractive ha ha.
It was just the delivery of the message was woah! "
Yeah that's very harsh!! Think we prefer just being ignored haha. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We get lots of people looks but very few messages. C is carrying a little weight and has chest hair (I love it he can't get rid).
And we think this is probably the reason we don't get a lot of messages. I get alot of attention though which I do feel bad for him sometimes.
Same here, mrs get the attention which is great and I love!
But I am over weight etc. But far from unattractive ha ha.
It was just the delivery of the message was woah! "
yes some replies are quite brutal, like somebody else said the next couple will lap you up |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"have come across a few couples profiles that put no mingers,fatties,baldies etc and then added the word yuk afterwards which i think is quite a horrible thing to say.i get the everyone has their preference but dont understand the need to use such cruel words"
Totes agree  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We can hopefully all accept that we're not to someone's taste, but to tell the person they're "not attractive enough for me" is pretty ignorant."
Rude and slightly arrogant too. There's a difference between saying not attracted to and not attractive enough. There was no need to say it in that manner. As if the other couple were physically better in some way.
Holly |
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"Some people don't always give the fully honest reason, or speak diplomatically. There's no need to single one person out, with a put-down, for example. There's never a need to put another person down at all, when we can simply state that something wouldn't work, though it's definitely better than anyone going through with a meet, where they already know it wouldn't.
This is very true, the rejection is fine! It's the blow of self confidence that's harder to swallow.
I'm a big boy and will get over it.
"
Female half here I’m looking at your pics and your BOTH hot x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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From the few pics of you on your profile you look nice to me. But I suppose its personally preference. We are definitely fine ones to talk but a few more pics of you might help so they kind of know what you look like so can decide before messaging you. Liam's not one to take photos where as he has about 700 of me on his phone so obviously bombarded our profile of me
Don't let it get to you though. For every couple that doesnt like you theres 10 out there that does.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We would never ever tell a couple that we weren’t interested if it was really the guy we weren’t interested in, by saying words to that effect we’d just say not our type thanks etc etc, it’s rude and doesn’t need to be said.
In another note, lots on the thread have said it’s difficult to find a four way connection blah, blah. It’s not difficult at all just be a bit more open minded..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's all in the wording.
If I don't find the guy of a cpl attractive but my hubby finds the lady attractive we just say a polite no thanks.
No need to go into brutal detail about why? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Some people don't always give the fully honest reason, or speak diplomatically. There's no need to single one person out, with a put-down, for example. There's never a need to put another person down at all, when we can simply state that something wouldn't work, though it's definitely better than anyone going through with a meet, where they already know it wouldn't.
This is very true, the rejection is fine! It's the blow of self confidence that's harder to swallow.
I'm a big boy and will get over it.
Female half here I’m looking at your pics and your BOTH hot x"
see Op nobody ever refers to me as hot you're hot  |
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