FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > jealosy .. right or wrong
jealosy .. right or wrong
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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ok just a simple question born from another post ... is jealousy right in any form with couples swinging/hotwife/cuckold/sub dom ?? ... please this is not lets beat everyone up question ... i think its an interesting question
my answer is no ... only because we have never ever had it ? not even a hint ..we've had it from other's but never ourselves ..
so is jealousy right or wrong within these adult scene's
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"ok just a simple question born from another post ... is jealousy right in any form with couples swinging/hotwife/cuckold/sub dom ?? ... please this is not lets beat everyone up question ... i think its an interesting question
my answer is no ... only because we have never ever had it ? not even a hint ..we've had it from other's but never ourselves ..
so is jealousy right or wrong within these adult scene's
"
There is no right or wrong - what works for some people won't work for others  |
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It’s a really tough question . In this liberal kind of lifestyle I don’t think it has a positive part to play . Yet in my eyes if there isn’t a twinge of jealousy then is that because you are totally indifferent and couldn’t care less ? If I was part of a couple and had deep loving feelings for her ,, I’m not sure how I would feel |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think jealousy is a very normal emotion and it will come through sometimes and that's absolutely fine. When jealousy causes problems and you get angry, upset and make someone feel bad because you are jealous then it's an issue that needs addressing. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"It’s a really tough question . In this liberal kind of lifestyle I don’t think it has a positive part to play . Yet in my eyes if there isn’t a twinge of jealousy then is that because you are totally indifferent and couldn’t care less ? If I was part of a couple and had deep loving feelings for her ,, I’m not sure how I would feel "
ah now the love question we see sex as different to love ... we as much in love today as the day we got married i always thought most swinging couples can separate them ..thats another question i think |
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"It’s a really tough question . In this liberal kind of lifestyle I don’t think it has a positive part to play . Yet in my eyes if there isn’t a twinge of jealousy then is that because you are totally indifferent and couldn’t care less ? If I was part of a couple and had deep loving feelings for her ,, I’m not sure how I would feel
ah now the love question we see sex as different to love ... we as much in love today as the day we got married i always thought most swinging couples can separate them ..thats another question i think"
Then you are fortunate that you can differentiate such emotions  |
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Jealousy is an emotion, so not something you always have control over.
The key is to recognise it if or when it happens, and deal with it appropriately.
If you have trust in your partner, you’ll understand jealousy is irrational if everyone is playing by the agreed rules. For some, it may be those rules need to be revised, for others they may be able to cope with the emotion. For some, the jealous feeling is part of the thrill! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"ok just a simple question born from another post ... is jealousy right in any form with couples swinging/hotwife/cuckold/sub dom ?? ... please this is not lets beat everyone up question ... i think its an interesting question
my answer is no ... only because we have never ever had it ? not even a hint ..we've had it from other's but never ourselves ..
so is jealousy right or wrong within these adult scene's
"
No right or wrong answer it's just a factor of this lifestyle |
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Caveat: I have never experienced jealousy.
But I believe its often felt when fear of loss is involved. I've heard it said that envy is like "you've got that, i want the too" and jealousy is "i don't want you to have that". It often rears its head when trust isn't there and a person fears losing their partner.
As always, communication is the key. If emotional and physical needs aren't being met... Talk... |
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I think I get jealousy and horniness mixed up . If my wife says she fancies some guy she has seen , I get a pang , but at the same time I want her to fuck him . Then tell me how much she enjoyed it as I reclaim her . This scenario would be rubbish if I wasn’t a bit jealous . |
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"Jealousy is an emotion, so not something you always have control over.
The key is to recognise it if or when it happens, and deal with it appropriately.
If you have trust in your partner, you’ll understand jealousy is irrational if everyone is playing by the agreed rules. For some, it may be those rules need to be revised, for others they may be able to cope with the emotion. For some, the jealous feeling is part of the thrill!"
Exactly this |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I meet a couple off here on a regular basis..I also meet them both separately..There's never been any jealousy as we tell each other everything & I stick to there rules..
I think jealousy starts when the lies start, Or when rules are broken, Or when one is having more fun than the other..
Keep it fun & Friendship and there won't be a problem  |
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R took her time before she did a full swap, thought I'd be jealous watching another man fucking her, but instead I thought it was fantastic! She feels the same about me and other women.
Jealousy and swinging just don't go together. Even if you do separate room swinging, as one couple we met do. |
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By *ndrew CareyMan
over a year ago
Peterborough, Cambridgeshire & Lincolnshire |
"ok just a simple question born from another post ... is jealousy right in any form with couples swinging/hotwife/cuckold/sub dom ?? ... please this is not lets beat everyone up question ... i think its an interesting question
my answer is no ... only because we have never ever had it ? not even a hint ..we've had it from other's but never ourselves ..
so is jealousy right or wrong within these adult scene's
"
Depends on the dynamics to be honest. In a swinging/FWB/FB/Poly arrangement, jealousy is not the way to go.
In a monogamous relationship, it's pretty standard |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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if swinging in whatever form it takes creates problems in a relationship, then it's time to talk and reevaluate the situation, it's absolutely paramount everyone's feeling happy
Unless two shits are not given about how a partner feels, with that in mind there's not really much of a relationship anymore,
So in which case the wounded party pretty much have two options grin and bare it or bale the fuck out
Pick the sweetcorn out of that  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"if swinging in whatever form it takes creates problems in a relationship, then it's time to talk and reevaluate the situation, it's absolutely paramount everyone's feeling happy
Unless two shits are not given about how a partner feels, with that in mind there's not really much of a relationship anymore,
So in which case the wounded party pretty much have two options grin and bare it or bale the fuck out
Pick the sweetcorn out of that "
I like it. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I get jealousy and horniness mixed up . If my wife says she fancies some guy she has seen , I get a pang , but at the same time I want her to fuck him . Then tell me how much she enjoyed it as I reclaim her . This scenario would be rubbish if I wasn’t a bit jealous . "
I love this!! |
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If jealousy makes you value your partner more and makes your feelings more intense and you're both on the same page with that then I guess that works.
But if jealousy takes the form of saying you're ok with a scenario but then becoming jealous and throwing it back in the other persons face then no, that's not ok, it's unfair and destructive.
As someone else said, come down to trust and honest communication. |
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"I meet a couple off here on a regular basis..I also meet them both separately..There's never been any jealousy as we tell each other everything & I stick to there rules..
I think jealousy starts when the lies start, Or when rules are broken, Or when one is having more fun than the other..
Keep it fun & Friendship and there won't be a problem "
Do you have any friends with the same out look? lol
We agree totally with 1your statement xxx |
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"I think I get jealousy and horniness mixed up . If my wife says she fancies some guy she has seen , I get a pang , but at the same time I want her to fuck him . Then tell me how much she enjoyed it as I reclaim her . This scenario would be rubbish if I wasn’t a bit jealous .
I love this!!"
I’ve been accused in the past of seeing everything as black or white .
I find it easier that way , life is so much simpler |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As some have said jealousy can often raise its head unexpectedly. But as a couple where one is jealous and only the jealous one plays helps, this is the dynamic of our swinging scene and it isn't an issue for us. We have our rules and boundaries and only ever play as a couple..... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think I get jealousy and horniness mixed up . If my wife says she fancies some guy she has seen , I get a pang , but at the same time I want her to fuck him . Then tell me how much she enjoyed it as I reclaim her . This scenario would be rubbish if I wasn’t a bit jealous .
I love this!!
I’ve been accused in the past of seeing everything as black or white .
I find it easier that way , life is so much simpler "
I don't think just seeing black or white as being a bad thing. Grey can be more difficult. |
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I find it strange that jealousy is seen as a weakness or incompatible with swinging.
Emotion is part of the human condition and emotions are not weaknesses so long as they do not dominate our logic.
We are not robots and emotions will be part of sex. Horniness is an emotion, as is lust and passion, affection and friendliness. You can't control who you feel these emotions for, which is why we don't all meet and have sex with everyone in a club or on fab.
Similarly you may never have experienced envy or jealousy, but that may just be because you have not experienced that situation yet.
We took it very slowly because we were nervous about jealousy, as time has gone on we have relaxed and have always had fun. But it would be naive of us to think we are above natural human emotions. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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some great answers i can see it from other's point of view now as said because its never been in our swinging life (20 ++ years) guess we never really thought of it but as said as long as both are on same page then great |
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