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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Just curious.... When you match with someone on a dating site, when do you tell them you are a little bit naughtier than the average person because you go to swingers clubs etc?? ....
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Before you propose I'd say "
Hahaha... It's kind of like clinging on to a Bucking bronco. I like to see how long they last before they run for the hills  |
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I'm on a dating site, playing it very straight, only headshots, so as to attract guys seriously looking for a relationship. However, I still get guys asking about my body, size of my boobs, would I like to meet up for fun - er no!
Anyway, whilst not offensive, I'm bored of that kind of conversation. Can't do it back, because they'd love it, so what subject, if I relentless banged on about it, would offend or turn a guy off? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I'm on a dating site, playing it very straight, only headshots, so as to attract guys seriously looking for a relationship. However, I still get guys asking about my body, size of my boobs, would I like to meet up for fun - er no!
Anyway, whilst not offensive, I'm bored of that kind of conversation. Can't do it back, because they'd love it, so what subject, if I relentless banged on about it, would offend or turn a guy off?"
The talk of a serious relationship would turn me off at this moment in time but everyone is different. Can you not do fully clothed body shots? I tend to avoid profiles with just head shots but i respect people's decisions if that's all they want to share. |
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"Anyway, whilst not offensive, I'm bored of that kind of conversation. Can't do it back, because they'd love it, so what subject, if I relentless banged on about it, would offend or turn a guy off?"
Shoes |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"even clothed would show my boobs, tried that!"
Your smile is stunning xxx amazed how many women on the dating site I use go straighy5in for the sexual questions. I'm here to date lol not fuck, I have FAB for that |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not on any other sites apart from this one. Thinking of joining a dating site tho, just a matter of picking the right one "
There is no right one they all just want a f*ck !  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not on any other sites apart from this one. Thinking of joining a dating site tho, just a matter of picking the right one
There is no right one they all just want a f*ck ! "
True.
Love the pink hair x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not on any other sites apart from this one. Thinking of joining a dating site tho, just a matter of picking the right one
There is no right one they all just want a f*ck ! "
Sadly I was told this about one in particular only the other week... Very disheartening  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I really think it depends on the dynamic you have with the person.
I personally swing because I am single. I’ve never swung in a relationship because they give me all I want and need and not just sexually. Maybe I would get a tiny bit jealous seeing them with someone else.
I guess the question would be “why do you swing”? And do you need that in a relationship? |
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Ive tried all different dating sites and find them all as bad as each other. For me I'm not a swinger from my perspective, I just enjoy a varied sex life.. I find it hard on "normal" dating sites as many just seem to just want sex or casual anyway.. I don't mention it straight away to try and see if the person is more genuine because if feels like they think your just an easy lay if you say too much too soon. So I don't go on them very often these days.
Good luck OP, if you actually want to continue to swing with a new person then I think you need to be open and honest from the start. You have nothing to loose. People will either swipe left or right anyway. (I've noticed a few people on POF) who are on here) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Ive tried all different dating sites and find them all as bad as each other. For me I'm not a swinger from my perspective, I just enjoy a varied sex life.. I find it hard on "normal" dating sites as many just seem to just want sex or casual anyway.. I don't mention it straight away to try and see if the person is more genuine because if feels like they think your just an easy lay if you say too much too soon. So I don't go on them very often these days.
Good luck OP, if you actually want to continue to swing with a new person then I think you need to be open and honest from the start. You have nothing to loose. People will either swipe left or right anyway. (I've noticed a few people on POF) who are on here) "
Well said  |
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I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story. |
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story. "
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not on any other sites apart from this one. Thinking of joining a dating site tho, just a matter of picking the right one "
All sites are much the same it all comes down to sex for most at least this is honest and up front
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Hmm...
1. Is she attractive.
2. Has she looked after herself
...with those two hurdles passed, dialogue ensues, the dreary stuff...
3. what do you do for a living
4. How many kids have you popped out
5. How long single blah blah
then the tricky part...
6. Are you open minded /liberated (not necessarily phrased like that, but woven into the conversation in some form or other)....
The problem is, by the time you get to step 6, you've already expended a lot of time ....I'd say over 90% of women are revulsed at the idea of swinging/sharing, so it's typically a case of back to step 1 ...rinse, repeat.
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"I'm not on any other sites apart from this one. Thinking of joining a dating site tho, just a matter of picking the right one All sites are much the same it all comes down to sex for most at least this is honest and up front "
That's what I do like about this site, is that I can be open and honest about my sexulity and what I enjoy... I have on my profile about wanting to date but still have no luck on here. My ideal would be someone off fab with similar tastes sexually because for me it is important. But so far no luck... I think if its going to happen it will regardless of what site it is! |
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious? "
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I'm not on any other sites apart from this one. Thinking of joining a dating site tho, just a matter of picking the right one All sites are much the same it all comes down to sex for most at least this is honest and up front
That's what I do like about this site, is that I can be open and honest about my sexulity and what I enjoy... I have on my profile about wanting to date but still have no luck on here. My ideal would be someone off fab with similar tastes sexually because for me it is important. But so far no luck... I think if its going to happen it will regardless of what site it is! "
exactly theirs someone for everyone and I think those that don't achieve it are not being flexible enough to achieve it, some set targets are unachievable nobody is perfect |
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I think it's just a matter of judgment and timing. Clearly it's not something (normally) you just come out with at the start, the point of the process is getting know each other at a natural rate. No hard rule as the dynamic is different with different people. As long as in nature and intervention you are open and honest you'll know the right point to bring it up. Don't be in your heart is dishonest in nature and do fear rejection or repulsion. After all you want someone who loves and enjoys you for who you truly are (including sexual) and wants to join forces with you in every aspect of life. |
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious?
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue. "
I understand that to begin with on dating sites that's the case but I wonder how the women would feel if they knew you was dating several at once? Especially as one is getting more serious? I wouldn't expect anyone to just see me but by date three or four I would, and that's where I dislike normal dating sites for not being honest. On here even though it's not a dating site per say at least you know that your not gpk g to be the only one. But on normal dating sites it is more expected from a womans perspective!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious?
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue.
I understand that to begin with on dating sites that's the case but I wonder how the women would feel if they knew you was dating several at once? Especially as one is getting more serious? I wouldn't expect anyone to just see me but by date three or four I would, and that's where I dislike normal dating sites for not being honest. On here even though it's not a dating site per say at least you know that your not gpk g to be the only one. But on normal dating sites it is more expected from a womans perspective!! "
date 3 or 4 is regarded as serious enough to become exclusive then? |
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious?
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue.
I understand that to begin with on dating sites that's the case but I wonder how the women would feel if they knew you was dating several at once? Especially as one is getting more serious? I wouldn't expect anyone to just see me but by date three or four I would, and that's where I dislike normal dating sites for not being honest. On here even though it's not a dating site per say at least you know that your not gpk g to be the only one. But on normal dating sites it is more expected from a womans perspective!! date 3 or 4 is regarded as serious enough to become exclusive then? "
It depends, not always but if dating other women I would want to know, especially if your having sex with them too!! |
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution? "
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious?
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue.
I understand that to begin with on dating sites that's the case but I wonder how the women would feel if they knew you was dating several at once? Especially as one is getting more serious? I wouldn't expect anyone to just see me but by date three or four I would, and that's where I dislike normal dating sites for not being honest. On here even though it's not a dating site per say at least you know that your not gpk g to be the only one. But on normal dating sites it is more expected from a womans perspective!! date 3 or 4 is regarded as serious enough to become exclusive then?
It depends, not always but if dating other women I would want to know, especially if your having sex with them too!! "
I kinda get where you are coming from but 3/4 dates seems a little premature for exclusive |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. "
do men and women in reality think that differently though? |
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious?
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue.
I understand that to begin with on dating sites that's the case but I wonder how the women would feel if they knew you was dating several at once? Especially as one is getting more serious? I wouldn't expect anyone to just see me but by date three or four I would, and that's where I dislike normal dating sites for not being honest. On here even though it's not a dating site per say at least you know that your not gpk g to be the only one. But on normal dating sites it is more expected from a womans perspective!! date 3 or 4 is regarded as serious enough to become exclusive then?
It depends, not always but if dating other women I would want to know, especially if your having sex with them too!! I kinda get where you are coming from but 3/4 dates seems a little premature for exclusive "
Yes I agree, but I think if your not being open about that then for me personally I wouldn't like that. Especially where sex is involved. I wouldn't expect anyone to be exclusive to me to begin with but I would want to know. Its probably because I'm more of dating one guy at a time kinda gal. Don't have the energy to date multiple people on what you would call "normal dating sites".
At the end of the day it's all personal preference and what suits you.. My dating record is naff to date haha. Just be honest is the main thing for me on those sites and I have a feeling the other guy was maybe making assumptions? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious?
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue.
I understand that to begin with on dating sites that's the case but I wonder how the women would feel if they knew you was dating several at once? Especially as one is getting more serious? I wouldn't expect anyone to just see me but by date three or four I would, and that's where I dislike normal dating sites for not being honest. On here even though it's not a dating site per say at least you know that your not gpk g to be the only one. But on normal dating sites it is more expected from a womans perspective!! date 3 or 4 is regarded as serious enough to become exclusive then?
It depends, not always but if dating other women I would want to know, especially if your having sex with them too!! I kinda get where you are coming from but 3/4 dates seems a little premature for exclusive
Yes I agree, but I think if your not being open about that then for me personally I wouldn't like that. Especially where sex is involved. I wouldn't expect anyone to be exclusive to me to begin with but I would want to know. Its probably because I'm more of dating one guy at a time kinda gal. Don't have the energy to date multiple people on what you would call "normal dating sites".
At the end of the day it's all personal preference and what suits you.. My dating record is naff to date haha. Just be honest is the main thing for me on those sites and I have a feeling the other guy was maybe making assumptions?"
I agree and I suppose with some you will know pretty much straight away you're suited, I like to think I'm pretty honest |
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though? "
I don't like to get into the whole male/female one thinks and acts differently... I say women because I was talking in relation to the other person and he was a man. So it was in relation to the other women he was saying. I am sure some of the women wouldn't be bothered about him seeing others as they maybe doing the same which I did say. |
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"I’m on POF. I’ve met some lovely women and I’m dating several. All of them give the appearance of butter wouldn’t melt, but in reality they are just as if not hornier than me.
Three are incredibly turned on by rope play, blindfold and restraint and sex outdoors - when warm enough.
However, and back to the thread - I can’t imagine ever telling them about Fab or having attended swinger clubs. Strange.
Perhaps next time one is tied to the bed I will introduce it as a fantasy story.
Have you told the women your dating several at a time? Just curious?
No of course not. We are all free agents and its early days. One is getting rather serious though which is an issue. "
That’s called having your cake and eating it..people get hurt 9 times out of 10 in that situation..  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
I don't like to get into the whole male/female one thinks and acts differently... I say women because I was talking in relation to the other person and he was a man. So it was in relation to the other women he was saying. I am sure some of the women wouldn't be bothered about him seeing others as they maybe doing the same which I did say. "
yes I understood what you were saying and I to would want the same if we got along, so many say they want to date or find a partner but in general when you look at their profiles the evidence doesn't suggest they are trying very hard lol |
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We met on PoF last October, very spur of the moment meeting, but we hit it off straight away. Although it was the last thing on my mind I ended up going back to his and staying over. It was obvious our kinks aligned, although I’d never entertained swinging before. Our second date (two days later) was a trip out dogging and he’d taken me to my first club within about 3 weeks lol. |
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
I don't like to get into the whole male/female one thinks and acts differently... I say women because I was talking in relation to the other person and he was a man. So it was in relation to the other women he was saying. I am sure some of the women wouldn't be bothered about him seeing others as they maybe doing the same which I did say. yes I understood what you were saying and I to would want the same if we got along, so many say they want to date or find a partner but in general when you look at their profiles the evidence doesn't suggest they are trying very hard lol "
Exactly...im not a serial dater (which I think some people are) it's takes a lot of time and investment getting to know someone, well it does for me, that's why I wish people would just be upfront from the start so an informed decision could be made. I don't want casual, I get that on here which is why I don't meet often from fab. So that's my choice to say thanks but no thanks. Same as its the other person's choice if they do want casual... |
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"We met on PoF last October, very spur of the moment meeting, but we hit it off straight away. Although it was the last thing on my mind I ended up going back to his and staying over. It was obvious our kinks aligned, although I’d never entertained swinging before. Our second date (two days later) was a trip out dogging and he’d taken me to my first club within about 3 weeks lol. "
That's sounds great... Just going with your gut feelings and what felt right for you both!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm...
1. Is she attractive.
2. Has she looked after herself
...with those two hurdles passed, dialogue ensues, the dreary stuff...
3. what do you do for a living
4. How many kids have you popped out
5. How long single blah blah
then the tricky part...
6. Are you open minded /liberated (not necessarily phrased like that, but woven into the conversation in some form or other)....
The problem is, by the time you get to step 6, you've already expended a lot of time ....I'd say over 90% of women are revulsed at the idea of swinging/sharing, so it's typically a case of back to step 1 ...rinse, repeat.
"
Why does it matter how long anyone's been single? Just curious as to why you need to know that, what difference it makes or what judgements you make based on the answer |
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"Just curious.... When you match with someone on a dating site, when do you tell them you are a little bit naughtier than the average person because you go to swingers clubs etc?? ....
"
I was lucky I met her on POF. She dropped it subtly into the conversation, that she wasn't as innocent as she came across in her messages leading to our 1st date (as like other commenters we had led the txt talk away from sex to meet people looking for serious relationships).
I can't remember how she phrased it but she basically implied she could be more adventurous than most people would expect. Curiously I asked how - so she asked just how well I knew my local hometown clubs, especially in one location. I laughed as there was only a swingers club in that location that I knew quite well. From that point the conversation definitely turned interesting.
- B
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
I don't like to get into the whole male/female one thinks and acts differently... I say women because I was talking in relation to the other person and he was a man. So it was in relation to the other women he was saying. I am sure some of the women wouldn't be bothered about him seeing others as they maybe doing the same which I did say. yes I understood what you were saying and I to would want the same if we got along, so many say they want to date or find a partner but in general when you look at their profiles the evidence doesn't suggest they are trying very hard lol
Exactly...im not a serial dater (which I think some people are) it's takes a lot of time and investment getting to know someone, well it does for me, that's why I wish people would just be upfront from the start so an informed decision could be made. I don't want casual, I get that on here which is why I don't meet often from fab. So that's my choice to say thanks but no thanks. Same as its the other person's choice if they do want casual... "
damn it was my birthday on 7 th June lol |
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
I don't like to get into the whole male/female one thinks and acts differently... I say women because I was talking in relation to the other person and he was a man. So it was in relation to the other women he was saying. I am sure some of the women wouldn't be bothered about him seeing others as they maybe doing the same which I did say. yes I understood what you were saying and I to would want the same if we got along, so many say they want to date or find a partner but in general when you look at their profiles the evidence doesn't suggest they are trying very hard lol
Exactly...im not a serial dater (which I think some people are) it's takes a lot of time and investment getting to know someone, well it does for me, that's why I wish people would just be upfront from the start so an informed decision could be made. I don't want casual, I get that on here which is why I don't meet often from fab. So that's my choice to say thanks but no thanks. Same as its the other person's choice if they do want casual... damn it was my birthday on 7 th June lol"
 you missed a trick there haha |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm bi and would want to continue swinging with any new partner, so I would always check that this ok prior to swapping numbers.
Amazingly, every guy I've asked hasn't had a problem with it  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though? "
Totally I'm afraid... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Hmm...
1. Is she attractive.
2. Has she looked after herself
...with those two hurdles passed, dialogue ensues, the dreary stuff...
3. what do you do for a living
4. How many kids have you popped out
5. How long single blah blah
then the tricky part...
6. Are you open minded /liberated (not necessarily phrased like that, but woven into the conversation in some form or other)....
The problem is, by the time you get to step 6, you've already expended a lot of time ....I'd say over 90% of women are revulsed at the idea of swinging/sharing, so it's typically a case of back to step 1 ...rinse, repeat.
Why does it matter how long anyone's been single? Just curious as to why you need to know that, what difference it makes or what judgements you make based on the answer"
It doesn't matter that much - just part of the flow of conversation ...that said, if she's newly single, it possibly means her head is not in a good place (coming out a long relationship can mess some people up). If she's been single a long while, then she's probabl at ease with herself...and she's probably also very choosy, which personally I like in a woman. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
Totally I'm afraid... "
in my experience I wouldn't say that but we all have differing opinions |
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"Hmm...
1. Is she attractive.
2. Has she looked after herself
...with those two hurdles passed, dialogue ensues, the dreary stuff...
3. what do you do for a living
4. How many kids have you popped out
5. How long single blah blah
then the tricky part...
6. Are you open minded /liberated (not necessarily phrased like that, but woven into the conversation in some form or other)....
The problem is, by the time you get to step 6, you've already expended a lot of time ....I'd say over 90% of women are revulsed at the idea of swinging/sharing, so it's typically a case of back to step 1 ...rinse, repeat.
Why does it matter how long anyone's been single? Just curious as to why you need to know that, what difference it makes or what judgements you make based on the answer
It doesn't matter that much - just part of the flow of conversation ...that said, if she's newly single, it possibly means her head is not in a good place (coming out a long relationship can mess some people up). If she's been single a long while, then she's probabl at ease with herself...and she's probably also very choosy, which personally I like in a woman."
I do agree... If someone is newly single it does make me more cautious that's all.. I don't want to be the rebound person haha but if single a longee time it doesn't bother me. I've been single over two years now so would be sad if someone judged me and thought it was because of me. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
I don't like to get into the whole male/female one thinks and acts differently... I say women because I was talking in relation to the other person and he was a man. So it was in relation to the other women he was saying. I am sure some of the women wouldn't be bothered about him seeing others as they maybe doing the same which I did say. yes I understood what you were saying and I to would want the same if we got along, so many say they want to date or find a partner but in general when you look at their profiles the evidence doesn't suggest they are trying very hard lol
Exactly...im not a serial dater (which I think some people are) it's takes a lot of time and investment getting to know someone, well it does for me, that's why I wish people would just be upfront from the start so an informed decision could be made. I don't want casual, I get that on here which is why I don't meet often from fab. So that's my choice to say thanks but no thanks. Same as its the other person's choice if they do want casual... damn it was my birthday on 7 th June lol
you missed a trick there haha "
I did damnit |
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"I'm bi and would want to continue swinging with any new partner, so I would always check that this ok prior to swapping numbers.
Amazingly, every guy I've asked hasn't had a problem with it "
Funny old thing that. |
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"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
Totally I'm afraid... in my experience I wouldn't say that but we all have differing opinions "
I've always just wanted a clear picture, so we're on the same playing field. I've always assumed that what the other women I've had froms of relationship or arrangements with wanted too? So I've always been keen to establish a shared understanding of the situation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I know and accept what you say. I haven’t made any false promises and I’m open that I’m not serious dating material right now. However, feelings do creep in. What is the solution?
I'm not saying you have at all. But I know from a womans perspective we think so differently to you and that for them if you've been dating longer it wouldnt surprise me that they will just assume your only seeing them. I don't because of being on this site. It opens your mind more haha.. All I would say is just be clear that you only want casual and to see other women so they can make an informed choice if that's what they want... They could be seeing other guys too. I just know what I would like that's all. do men and women in reality think that differently though?
Totally I'm afraid... in my experience I wouldn't say that but we all have differing opinions
I've always just wanted a clear picture, so we're on the same playing field. I've always assumed that what the other women I've had froms of relationship or arrangements with wanted too? So I've always been keen to establish a shared understanding of the situation."
yes me to most women I've dated had similar thoughts on what we were doing a couple of nut jobs though lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just curious.... When you match with someone on a dating site, when do you tell them you are a little bit naughtier than the average person because you go to swingers clubs etc?? ....
"
Pretty much straight away. Half the time, they are too. I don’t mention swingers clubs straight away as they’re not even to the taste of a lot of folk on here, but it’s amazing how many people are on or have been on Fab. |
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"Just curious.... When you match with someone on a dating site, when do you tell them you are a little bit naughtier than the average person because you go to swingers clubs etc?? ....
Pretty much straight away. Half the time, they are too. I don’t mention swingers clubs straight away as they’re not even to the taste of a lot of folk on here, but it’s amazing how many people are on or have been on Fab. "
^^^^this.. If your looking for a realtionship then surly being honest is best from the start? If its meant to be it will be. But if you colour the truth how do you bring it up later?! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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There are subtle ways to steer a conversation towards the subject to see what reaction you get. If you get shut down then you know they're probably not for you, or you for them. |
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