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Is swinging just sex...
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Or do people see it as more than just sex??
I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??
Would love others perspectives.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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When me and my hubby meet couples swinging then yes its just sex. When meeting a single guy a few times then it can easily develop into more than just sex. |
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"Or do people see it as more than just sex??
I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??
Would love others perspectives.... "
For myself and my wife it's more than just sex. Because we enjoy the social side to swinging as well. It's the only time we can be 100% ourselves. The friends we made even with the sex made this whole endeavour worth while.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For me, originally, joining this site was mainly about sex - not necessarily just the one-offs, but still NSA. I never imagined I'd find a very good friend on here, who really came through for me when I had my accident, as well as a soulmate. So I guess it's not just sex any more lol. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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So much more than just sex, for us, sex is the least important part of swinging. We know it sounds crazy but the social side is what makes it, having a laugh and not worrying about what is said, we guess it's the freedom it brings. We host a lot of parties and have known couples for over a year and not played, not because we dont want to, just haven't got round to it, cause we all enjoy each others company and it's not a priority. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For some it’s clearly sex and they manage swinging to meet those needs. Others are less rigid and sometimes it changes to more than simply sex. Or it could be part of a dynamic where sex is a part of something else, e.g. cuckolding or some D/s relationships where sex is not the sole interest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or do people see it as more than just sex??
I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??
Would love others perspectives.... "
Depends on the person, some seenit as a social activity. Some see it as a release or escape, some see it as an agreeable way to spice up relations.
Its open for an incredible amount of interpretation. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or do people see it as more than just sex??
I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??
Would love others perspectives.... "
We don't do it just for sex we prefer a social as well as sexual connection over a longer term, as you get to know people's likes and dislikes over time.
This connection makes the sex better for us, I suppose we make love without being in love.
In fact some couples we have been sexual with have become friends without the sex anymore. Male |
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Thank you all for your response,
I think being in a couple makes it different as such for me anyways.
I absolutely love sex but when meeting others I want a little bit more. I've said it a thousand times but I feel sorry for the genuine single blokes on here as the ones who are using this site thinking they can get free sex puts me off wanting to meet a bloke.
I'm definitely a social person so would want that to be part of it for me not the 'meet me in 20 mins for the fucking of your life' kind of thing 
Xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just depends.
I’ve had “just sex” but I’ve also developed feelings.
If you meet someone along the way and that happens it can’t be helped.
You never know who your gonna bump into. "
it is beautiful when it happens even more so when it is unexpected |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or do people see it as more than just sex??
I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??
Would love others perspectives.... "
We see it as a hobby, we don’t get emotionally attached to anybody we swing with. We just have sex with them,sometimes really naughty sex too! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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For us it's just sex, we'd have a social before just to make sure the attraction is mutual.
After the meet if we saw the person/people in the street/pub etc then we'd say hello but we're not really looking for friendships. |
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People vary. For ourselves it's about sexual interaction primarily although friendship would be nice if it developed. I think anyone looking for more than just sex needs to be very wary as people will offer what they think you want to achieve their own aim. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
It's a broad subject. It's different things to different people, and for me at least, it can't be pinned down to a single thing.
For me: At its best, swinging is a lot more than just sex. It's people you have real relationships with, can do non-sexual things as friends with. And sex with them as well. These can be fairly shallow relationships, but it's nice to be able to go to dinner with someone and have a decent conversation before heading to bed. And there's occasionally one that goes much deeper.
Being single, and wanting to stay single, swinging gives me the opportunity to have several of these relationships without any of us getting jealous, or expecting them to go the conventional route of living together and getting married. And when the other people are already married to someone else, it means it's possible for the relationship to exist at all.
But sometimes it ends up just being sex. If I meet someone, I always hope that there'll be more than just a physical connection. Sometimes there isn't. That's OK. We might not get the full experience, but we can still enjoy it.
And that's fine. I can't handle many friendships at one time, so really it's a good thing that not every encounter goes that way. |
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For us it's just sex,we are happy with that ,if someone wants to meet again then we'd be open to it.does that mean a relationship has formed I'm not sure.if so it would be just a sexual one.id be pretty shocked if I walked in and the wife is sitting down with the kids and our meet from the week before is sitting there having a coffee chatting the small stuff with our kids lol
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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago
hiding from cock pics. |
My personal take on swinging if not actually about the sex. For me it's about being part of the Swinging community, supporting clubs and events making new friends that I do have an interest in apart from in any kind of sexual way.
The intimacy and liberation is kind of on top of all that. I love being able to go to single clubs as an independent woman and wear whatever I like without judgement, to meet lots of new people and be able to talk honestly about more sexual things, and be in a socially charged environment. When something more sexual happens with me, well that's wonderful but it is not what I go out looking for as a priority. |
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By *hloevtTV/TS
over a year ago
norwich |
My icing on the cake is going to "swinging" clubs , I will spend half my time playing ,sucking and fucking .
Then just as much time chatting and dancing.
I could happily go to a club and not have any sexual contact.
Everyone is so relaxed and happy.
Xxx |
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"Thank you all for your response,
I think being in a couple makes it different as such for me anyways.
I absolutely love sex but when meeting others I want a little bit more. I've said it a thousand times but I feel sorry for the genuine single blokes on here as the ones who are using this site thinking they can get free sex puts me off wanting to meet a bloke.
I'm definitely a social person so would want that to be part of it for me not the 'meet me in 20 mins for the fucking of your life' kind of thing
Xx"
Read through a few replies to your enquiry OP (petal) and it sounds as if you've gleaned from them a lot of good sense. This sounds almost the complete answer to me. |
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It really can be anything. You can swing with person/s you love romantically and you can swing with people you've just met and never see again. Often there is freindship and love involved (love to me is very broad, you can love your freinds). I often see sex as an extension of the love between freinds (different that romantic love). Sex to me can be used in a number of capacities to show love, care and acceptance of others and to me this is the same in swinging. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It shpuld be fun but not emotional......"
Its hard for me too see where caring about another's needs isn't an emotional process. Although I don't want an relationship with another person but my caring side wouldn't allow me to upset them or breach their boundaries. |
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By *JohnMan
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"id be pretty shocked if I walked in and the wife is sitting down with the kids and our meet from the week before is sitting there having a coffee chatting the small stuff with our kids lol"
That's what happens with some of my swinging friends. I've met their families, and one of them has met mine (my family lives in Australia, so it doesn't happen often). They're friends. There's nothing wrong with your friends meeting your family. We just don't go into detail about the exact nature of our friendship...
It doesn't happen with everyone. Some people want to keep the two worlds completely separate. I respect that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Or do people see it as more than just sex??
I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??
Would love others perspectives.... "
Depends in what context.... As a lifestyle no its not, in regards to this site for many yes but not everyone here is a true swinger, lots of single people use it as a way of meeting partners, some use it as a chat site, some are exhibitionists, every scenario is present here, sex is thrust in your face as it is in advertising, you can't avoid that aspect of it, I certainly never lead with sexual innuendo |
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By *andb69Couple
over a year ago
leeds |
"Or do people see it as more than just sex??
I (petal) am curious on what people think, just going by the messages I receive I sometimes think am I opening Pandoras box by coming into this lifestyle??
Would love others perspectives.... "
For us swinging is only about the sex. It is the opportunity for us to share our sexual fantasies and share each others enjoyment at living them out. We have no need for any emotional connection with others, or any need to socialise before play. So for us clubs provide the ideal swinging environment: We can meet and play with strangers and keep the swinging totally separate from our vanilla lives. Having said that, a few regular playmates have become friends, and interestingly a vanilla friend has become a playmate, but those are exceptions. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Depends on the person / people. Mostly it is just sex for me and I don't usually have a desire to continue chatting after a meet. Don't usually like to do repeat meets either. However, I met a lovely guy on here who has become a friend because he is just so lovely and is the only person so far I have played with again. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I always care - even if I don’t want to take it any further with someone, I still feel something. NSA doesn’t exist, for me. Always been the same, regardless of whether it was a friend, sexual partner, or long term boyfriend. |
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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago
Ashton Under Lyne |
For me it's the intimacy. I love sex with multiple partners and love the intimacy it engenders. I always have soft spots for the men I've slept with it's not love but definitely is not totally no strings. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I always care - even if I don’t want to take it any further with someone, I still feel something. NSA doesn’t exist, for me. Always been the same, regardless of whether it was a friend, sexual partner, or long term boyfriend."
This  .
I don't think I could have a one night stand, it would feel awkward  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Its all about respecting other people’s desires and wishes, I don’t think there is definition of what swinging is the only common denominator seems to be we have decided that we’d like to have sex with more than person for the rest of our lives. Everyone is different and sex is more important to some than others and it’s natural to attach more importance to sex with people you care for..some people can switch off from this easily. Its not always easy though and how many of us on here take a break every few months or so? |
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Anyone who may be reading this and wondering , here’s our take on it after eight years of swinging , and currently over a year out of it .
If you really think the friendships you develop while swinging are really anything more than acquaintances you met while enjoying this hobby , you’re going to be disappointed at some point . Most people will say and do anything to get what they want when it comes to this lifestyle , so if you want more than sex , beware . Pretty much everyone we know that wanted more , were let down and often were left feeling gullible . Especially the singles looking for love .
As a couple we quickly learned that swinging is a great hobby , and extremely shallow . Nothing wrong with that , and we loved it . But expect it to have meaning and depth and you’ll be wondering why you bothered . |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Anyone who may be reading this and wondering , here’s our take on it after eight years of swinging , and currently over a year out of it .
If you really think the friendships you develop while swinging are really anything more than acquaintances you met while enjoying this hobby , you’re going to be disappointed at some point . Most people will say and do anything to get what they want when it comes to this lifestyle , so if you want more than sex , beware . Pretty much everyone we know that wanted more , were let down and often were left feeling gullible . Especially the singles looking for love .
As a couple we quickly learned that swinging is a great hobby , and extremely shallow . Nothing wrong with that , and we loved it . But expect it to have meaning and depth and you’ll be wondering why you bothered ."
Spot on  |
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