FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Setting the bar too high
Setting the bar too high
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I'm talking hypothetically here.
So you arrange a meet say you are a guy and your meeting a fem.
You've had a social got on well book a hotel and play is guaranteed.
So do you pull out all the stops and go in with your A game,the full Monty, leaving her completely blown away and wanting for nothing.
Problem being
Meet no 2
Where do you go from here?
Same again but then she might think that's your lot.
Or
Meet 1
Hold back a few tricks leave her wanting more building up momentum to maybe a mind blowing 3rd meet.
Problems with this is she may not want to see you again after meet 1.
Obviously this is only a hypothetical question and can relate to females, couples or anyone regardless of gender and sexuality.
As most of us are just here for casual hook ups does it make sense to be at the top of your game from the start?
There must be plenty of people on here who have been in this very situation? |
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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago
Northampton Somewhere |
From a woman's pov I don't want the full A game on sex meet no 1. I just want to know that we can have a laugh, turn each other on and see how he handles me....
If I like that by meet no 3 I want him upping his game and getting a bit of kink on  |
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"From a woman's pov I don't want the full A game on sex meet no 1. I just want to know that we can have a laugh, turn each other on and see how he handles me....
If I like that by meet no 3 I want him upping his game and getting a bit of kink on "
That's kinda my point however what if meet no 1 he sets bar too low and you don't want to see him again?
I guess communication is key. |
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You go in and give it all you've got.
1. You have more chance of her wanting to see you again.
2. You may not get the opportunity again.
3. Pretty damn good is still pretty damn good if it happens a second or third time.
4. It's your job when you are having sex to give your partner as much pleasure as you can. This is my opinion anyway.
5. If you keep seeing each other and making a good effort, the sex will get better anyway as you get to know what really does it for each other. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think it’s impossible to go all in on the first time..2nd and 3rd time is always better as you get to know each other’s body naturally and subconsciously. There is the passion and excitement of meeting someone new the first time but this also has a nervousness about it all as you just don’t know the other persons body intimately yet. |
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I’d do my best on the first date .
That could guarantee another meet.
If you only did your b game she might not think you’re worth a second meet .
Who’s to say the second meet wont get better anyway |
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I want it to evolve organically
Attraction, chat, connection, play...
My “a” game is always there, but I’ll play and learn and tease depending on the feedback
My kink may come out on the first or the x’th meet
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You go in and give it all you've got.
1. You have more chance of her wanting to see you again.
2. You may not get the opportunity again.
3. Pretty damn good is still pretty damn good if it happens a second or third time.
4. It's your job when you are having sex to give your partner as much pleasure as you can. This is my opinion anyway.
5. If you keep seeing each other and making a good effort, the sex will get better anyway as you get to know what really does it for each other. "
100% this
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Surely you should always ensure your partners pleasure 1st, 2nd or 3rd meet? What's the point in meeting for mediocre sex?
If she enjoys the first meet then hopefully you get a second one (and a third....) and can continue to explore her likes, desires and any kinks you discover as you go
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It's a little disappointing if you bring your 'A game' - you know; push for those 30 seconds more to please her and double your personal best staying time and you still don't get a second meet? Makes you wonder why we try!
-B |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I like to know there is more. If I've had it all at the 1st meet, I'll get bored. I like the bit where I want more, when the other person wants more. If there is the right communication it works, I always want to know there is more to come  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Frankly, if you can blow your entire repertoire on meet 1 m, you need to get more imaginative.
And I agree with most of the comments, start well but not too fast and see how it develops as you get to know each other.
Up your game in the right direction. Both of you. Frankly, (from my POV anyway) if the lady expects me to do all the work all the time, to be the imaginative and playful one while she just soaks it up, it’s only going to end quickly.
But when you develop chemistry over time and can adapt and learn about each other’s wants, pleasure zones ... it just gets better every time.
Tom xx |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not sure how you can go in all guns blazing on a first meet. I wouldn’t know their body or what they like. I think in the main a first meet is about relaxing together, showing some skill and having fun. Once you have a basis the kink and imagination can come out.
Not everyone likes me riding them with my hands round their throat shouting ‘Fuck me like you mean it’ on a first meet. Apparently it’s offputting. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Finding out he's (probably) not a serial killer, we both get on and are compatible with an orgasm or two between us thrown in for good measure makes me happy. We can ramp it up later.  |
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He'll only get a second meet if he can fuck me to multiple orgasms on the first go. Show your a hard and rough fucking kind of guy and you'll get another go to do it all over again
Guys who come to make love are not welcome here, I have a husband for that.
Used, abused and left as a wet mess on the bed is what turns me on lol |
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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago
Scotland - Aberdeen |
"Kind of simple really OP.
Just don't play games.
Perhaps just let things grow in their own time."
^^ Agree with this, and why I haven't had sex in such a long time, I just can't find anyone who can get to the point that they can engage my brain, I just can't do 'hook ups' I'm too old for that shit, I need more. |
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By *an_LexaCouple
over a year ago
Sunderland |
You give it all that you’ve got every time.
You might not be planning or might not get a second chance. Why ever would you want to hold back and not give and enjoy all that you can.
If you do meet someone again, you build up knowledge of each other and with that will come a difference in how you engage together. That should increase and build upon what you have already had the first and second time round.
Lex |
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"From a woman's pov I don't want the full A game on sex meet no 1. I just want to know that we can have a laugh, turn each other on and see how he handles me....
If I like that by meet no 3 I want him upping his game and getting a bit of kink on "
This ^ |
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