FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Thoughts please?
Thoughts please?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I’ve been chatting to the husband of a couple and everything went well and we planned a meet. He asked for my number which I said I don’t want to give it out yet as I like to keep my personal life separate from Fab (which I think is very reasonable).
Then I got the response that he is willing to share his house and wife and I can’t even share my number. I didn’t think of it like that but I understand that is a very valid point so I shared my number to find out he’s spoke to someone else and meeting someone else as I disrespected them?
Am I in the wrong or has he taken it too far?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You aren't in the wrong no. I don't like to give my number out either. It's up to you what info you share. Though I do get what the man is saying about his home X |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thank you all.
Like I said I completely understand his point which is why I tried to speak to him that I do understand but didn’t even get the chance.
It’s very very difficult to get to the stage of planning meets here for a single guy so wanted thoughts so I don’t lose out the next time. Oh well happy fabbing all and thanks again x |
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"So I’ve been chatting to the husband of a couple and everything went well and we planned a meet. He asked for my number which I said I don’t want to give it out yet as I like to keep my personal life separate from Fab (which I think is very reasonable).
Then I got the response that he is willing to share his house and wife and I can’t even share my number. I didn’t think of it like that but I understand that is a very valid point so I shared my number to find out he’s spoke to someone else and meeting someone else as I disrespected them?
Am I in the wrong or has he taken it too far?
"
I won’t give my number out. That’s my choice. People accommodate. That’s their choice. Don’t worry about it. If you don’t feel comfortable about giving your number out then don’t. Although we’ve talked about getting a pay as you go sim to put in a spare phone so you don’t have that issue xx
If they've already got someone else on that’s their choice and their loss xx |
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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago
Newcastle upon Tyne |
"So I’ve been chatting to the husband of a couple and everything went well and we planned a meet. He asked for my number which I said I don’t want to give it out yet as I like to keep my personal life separate from Fab (which I think is very reasonable).
Then I got the response that he is willing to share his house and wife and I can’t even share my number. I didn’t think of it like that but I understand that is a very valid point so I shared my number to find out he’s spoke to someone else and meeting someone else as I disrespected them?
Am I in the wrong or has he taken it too far?
"
You are not in the wrong it is your choice as to what you share on here and how much you really want a meet. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"So I’ve been chatting to the husband of a couple and everything went well and we planned a meet. He asked for my number which I said I don’t want to give it out yet as I like to keep my personal life separate from Fab (which I think is very reasonable).
Then I got the response that he is willing to share his house and wife and I can’t even share my number. I didn’t think of it like that but I understand that is a very valid point so I shared my number to find out he’s spoke to someone else and meeting someone else as I disrespected them?
Am I in the wrong or has he taken it too far?
I won’t give my number out. That’s my choice. People accommodate. That’s their choice. Don’t worry about it. If you don’t feel comfortable about giving your number out then don’t. Although we’ve talked about getting a pay as you go sim to put in a spare phone so you don’t have that issue xx
If they've already got someone else on that’s their choice and their loss xx"
I will definitely think about and look into another phone for Fab and I agree definitely there loss  x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I have a general philosophy about swinging and that is that everyone at every stage be comfortable. If a woman isn't comfortable giving out her number there are very practical reasons for that. It's not a quid pro quo interaction. It's this is the way it works if you don't like it go elsewhere. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Are you married/in a relationship? If nobody else has access to your phone I don't really see the problem. Lots of time wasters on here and rightly or wrongly I personally would be a bit suspicious if we had got to the point of arranging a meet and the other party won't exchange numbers.
It's easy enough to block calls from them if things don't go well. As for them just moving on to someone else, I wouldn't take it personally. As soon as you refused your number they would probably have written you off as a time waster and anything you say probably wouldn't change their mind.
I don't know how old you are, but back in the day people put adds in magazines and initiated contact by post and you couldn't block anyone from calling a landline. I view my mobile phone as a tool. A tool that only my finger print allows access to. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's up to you what information you share, but from there perspective, it might have came across that you weren't serious/likely to be a no-show."
I kind of agree with this comment, although the response not to give you a chance once you had divulged your number,maybe a little harsh. Word of advice. Buy a cheap pay as you go phone for your swinging and other private stuff.That way you don't have to worry about privacy issues. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you married/in a relationship? If nobody else has access to your phone I don't really see the problem. Lots of time wasters on here and rightly or wrongly I personally would be a bit suspicious if we had got to the point of arranging a meet and the other party won't exchange numbers.
It's easy enough to block calls from them if things don't go well. As for them just moving on to someone else, I wouldn't take it personally. As soon as you refused your number they would probably have written you off as a time waster and anything you say probably wouldn't change their mind.
I don't know how old you are, but back in the day people put adds in magazines and initiated contact by post and you couldn't block anyone from calling a landline. I view my mobile phone as a tool. A tool that only my finger print allows access to. "
I'm a guy. I don't give out my personal number. My reason is that I don't mix my fab life and my personal life. Simple as that. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Are you married/in a relationship? If nobody else has access to your phone I don't really see the problem. Lots of time wasters on here and rightly or wrongly I personally would be a bit suspicious if we had got to the point of arranging a meet and the other party won't exchange numbers.
It's easy enough to block calls from them if things don't go well. As for them just moving on to someone else, I wouldn't take it personally. As soon as you refused your number they would probably have written you off as a time waster and anything you say probably wouldn't change their mind.
I don't know how old you are, but back in the day people put adds in magazines and initiated contact by post and you couldn't block anyone from calling a landline. I view my mobile phone as a tool. A tool that only my finger print allows access to.
I'm a guy. I don't give out my personal number. My reason is that I don't mix my fab life and my personal life. Simple as that."
Exactly that  |
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"Are you married/in a relationship? If nobody else has access to your phone I don't really see the problem. "
If you give someone your phone number they come up as a suggested friend on Facebook and then they can see my surname which is very unusual so they could easily track me down at home which I don't want strangers doing as I have children living with me. |
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Tricky really. I can see both of your points but these days with advanced technology on phones, if you don’t want to be contacted by someone you can block their number. Go to someone’s house and the only way you don’t know where they live is if you erase your memory or they move....... Theres an element of risk with this lifestyle and especially on sites where you meet potential playmates. If you’re not ready to take a risk then you can’t expect someone else to |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Can see both sides.
They probably felt if they were trusting you enough to allow and welcome you into their home (which IS their personal life) but you didn't trust them with your phone number then the trust was one sided and misguided, and it wasn't a level playing field.
Like others have suggested, maybe a fab phone could be utilised in similar situations.
P
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you married/in a relationship? If nobody else has access to your phone I don't really see the problem.
If you give someone your phone number they come up as a suggested friend on Facebook and then they can see my surname which is very unusual so they could easily track me down at home which I don't want strangers doing as I have children living with me. "
You can change your settings to stop this happening. Until bloody FB change their platform again and it reassociates itself. |
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"It’s just a phone number, what on earth could people do with it? "
Phone you 100x a day after cancelling a meet. Maybe they are not who you think they but a crazed madman or stalker instead. As a single female i will not take that chance. If a social meet goes well i will then exchange numbers but never to somebody i have not met. |
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"It’s just a phone number, what on earth could people do with it? "
Erm....have a field day that's what! Numbers are generally linked to social media, if said social media isn't set to private, stalker's paradise! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s just a phone number, what on earth could people do with it? "
Write it on the public toilet wall .... for a good time phone....
If your number is attached to your name (as on most cases) it can be used to find your real name, address etc. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So I’ve been chatting to the husband of a couple and everything went well and we planned a meet. He asked for my number which I said I don’t want to give it out yet as I like to keep my personal life separate from Fab (which I think is very reasonable).
Then I got the response that he is willing to share his house and wife and I can’t even share my number. I didn’t think of it like that but I understand that is a very valid point so I shared my number to find out he’s spoke to someone else and meeting someone else as I disrespected them?
Am I in the wrong or has he taken it too far?
"
Very thin line between disrespectful to others and toeing own line... I will never share my real name, where I worked and in which industry for me it's my line not to cross. If someone feels disrespectful can't help and cannot keep everyone happy, OP move on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Are you married/in a relationship? If nobody else has access to your phone I don't really see the problem. Lots of time wasters on here and rightly or wrongly I personally would be a bit suspicious if we had got to the point of arranging a meet and the other party won't exchange numbers.
It's easy enough to block calls from them if things don't go well. As for them just moving on to someone else, I wouldn't take it personally. As soon as you refused your number they would probably have written you off as a time waster and anything you say probably wouldn't change their mind.
I don't know how old you are, but back in the day people put adds in magazines and initiated contact by post and you couldn't block anyone from calling a landline. I view my mobile phone as a tool. A tool that only my finger print allows access to. "
On my network I can't block text messages only calls from numbers, I have had experiences here where guys have got stalkerish or abusive and unfortunately previous to that I have given them my number. So blocked on fab, yes, their calls blocked, but they can, and have, still sent abusive texts that come through.So I rarely give my number out now x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s just a phone number, what on earth could people do with it?
Phone you 100x a day after cancelling a meet. Maybe they are not who you think they but a crazed madman or stalker instead. As a single female i will not take that chance. If a social meet goes well i will then exchange numbers but never to somebody i have not met."
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I don't have any issues giving out my number, but will only do so if I feel like a social meet is being planned.
My social media profiles are set to private, my number doesn't link to them, and the photos I have here I have nowhere else so someone can't attempt a reverse image search.
If the social doesn't work out, I can block the number - though I've never had to do that before as things have always ended amicably or have not ended at all I'm aware I've been lucky in that respect though and many others have had issues.
It gives me a gut feeling that the guy isn't serious, or has something to hide (married, gf etc) if he asks to use Kik over, say, Whatsapp. |
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sounded like a kid with some toys 