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women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's un
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive."
No, it’s not true. I don’t know anyone that’s been told that.
I know some women think men should make the first move, it’s ‘traditional’ but I reckon they’re insecure and afraid of rejection.
Whenever I’ve approached men I’ve never had complains or been told I come off too strong.
And I know plenty of men who wish women would make the first move more often. |
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Women of my generation were certainly told that and most of the men I knew believed it too.
Modesty was a virtue and if you read between the lines many people still think this way. A confident woman with high self esteem is often put down |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I just wanted to find out if women genuinely thought this or had they been raised on this, as alot hold back from making the first move. "
Why do you think they hold back on making the first move? |
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"I just wanted to find out if women genuinely thought this or had they been raised on this, as alot hold back from making the first move. "
Yes lots of women do think it. However you need to read the signals, lots of women make it clear they like a guy without saying anything. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Why do you think they hold back on making the first move?
(That's the million dollar answer. I think it's a combination of the possible fear of rejection or the unknown. I'm just thinking, what would happen if more women acted upon there feelings and made the first move on men?]
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"
Why do you think they hold back on making the first move?
(That's the million dollar answer. I think it's a combination of the possible fear of rejection or the unknown. I'm just thinking, what would happen if more women acted upon there feelings and made the first move on men?]
"
But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming? |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming?
[ this just cane about after speaking to one or two female friends who said they would never make the first move or approach a guy] |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming?
[ this just cane about after speaking to one or two female friends who said they would never make the first move or approach a guy]"
Ah, okay  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"But how do you know they are holding back? Have you got female friends that have told you? Or are you just assuming?
[ this just cane about after speaking to one or two female friends who said they would never make the first move or approach a guy]"
Is this because it says something about women messaging you on your profile and one or two of them have told you that's not how it happens? |
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"Women of my generation were certainly told that and most of the men I knew believed it too.
Modesty was a virtue and if you read between the lines many people still think this way. A confident woman with high self esteem is often put down"
You're right there are some people (of both sexes) who still think this, but if that's their mindset they aren't for me anyway.
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Is this because it says something about women messaging you on your profile and one or two of them have told you that's not how it happens?
[To be honest I have heard it from some women who have messaged me on here but among friends also] |
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"
Is this because it says something about women messaging you on your profile and one or two of them have told you that's not how it happens?
[To be honest I have heard it from some women who have messaged me on here but among friends also]"
Use the quote button at the bottom of the message you're replying to. We'll know who you're replying to  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him."
I'm the same as him lol |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I love it when women make the first move.
Its the time of equality and theres nothing wrong with a women asking for what she wants.
Personally they have to be quite blunt with me though as i dont see myself as the kind of person people are interested in. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him."
I know a couple of guys like that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing...."
I love a good chase |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing....
I love a good chase "
Being chased? Or chasing? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive."
I’ve been chatted up in bars and clubs before. It’s such a turn on. What a load of nonsense. Although I have seen weaker men a little scared by a socially dominant female. I like it! |
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"It’s a believed that ladies shouldn’t do the chasing, witness how many ladies complain about too many messages and don’t block single guys and could do the chasing themselves instead, but in the main they don’t, why? Because even ladies tend to believe they shouldn’t do the chasing...."
That's actually a fair point. |
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"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him."
A lot of us don't have a clue when someone's flirting with us! I am one of those oblivious gents.
And to the OP, hell no! I find it seriously attractive if a woman makes the first move! It tells me more that they genuinely want me!! Which feels amazing ^_^ |
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By *andy_tomMan
over a year ago
wolverhampton |
"If someone really wants me they have to let me know ...
my sentiments exactly,  trouble is no bugger wants me  "
i think we are both in the same boat , no bugger wants me , , nice tits by the way , |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"If someone really wants me they have to let me know ...
my sentiments exactly, trouble is no bugger wants me
i think we are both in the same boat , no bugger wants me , , nice tits by the way , "
haha thanks |
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By *enninemarkMan
over a year ago
huddersfield/manchester |
"I found Paul in a coffee shop and very much made the first move. I had to be blatant though as he has no idea when women are flirting with him.
I know a couple of guys like that."
Sounds like me too! Been told afterwards, didn't have the confidence to believe it was flirting! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Women of my generation were certainly told that and most of the men I knew believed it too.
Modesty was a virtue and if you read between the lines many people still think this way. A confident woman with high self esteem is often put down"
I second this! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive.
Maybe in 1952.
Well I was born in 1956 maybe that explains why my generation was told this"
I agree. Old fashioned values are hard to break |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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Yes, I think it still is nowadays. I know a fair few women who wouldn't be the first to make a move from fear of rejection or it being a turn off. I tend to go for it - I suggest meeting up and dates etc. It doesn't mean I don't like it when men do but I don't see any point in not. That's not to say I don't get nervous and think 'ah fuck, shouldn't have said anything'. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Yes, I think it still is nowadays. I know a fair few women who wouldn't be the first to make a move from fear of rejection or it being a turn off. I tend to go for it - I suggest meeting up and dates etc. It doesn't mean I don't like it when men do but I don't see any point in not. That's not to say I don't get nervous and think 'ah fuck, shouldn't have said anything'. "
I suffer with worry at coming across as far too keen, but I will still ask with regularity when can we meet.  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I rather like it if a woman makes the first approach. It suggests they may have some real interest in me.
Not always the case of course, yet its always easier to start anything with another who has shown enough interest to make the first move. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I remember watching a documentary about teenage girls, and they were heading out to a club, and one of them said “if he’s interested, he’ll make the first move. If he doesn’t make the first move, he’s not interested, so there’s no point in me going over to him”.
First of all, this is wrong. Some guys are shy (me), and find it really tough to approach women, do would LOVE a girl to approach him.
Secondly, this is probably the 1950’s mindset that has been passed down to them by their parents and grandparents. Men are expected to be Men, and women are expected to be ladies. Doesn’t work like that anymore. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"No-one tells me what to do, but any man who wants me has to pursue me, I can't stand predatory women!  "
Ok, predatory is one thing, but what’s wrong with saying “Hi, how are you this evening?” |
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"No-one tells me what to do, but any man who wants me has to pursue me, I can't stand predatory women!
Ok, predatory is one thing, but what’s wrong with saying “Hi, how are you this evening?”"
Nothing, but I prefer to be pursued. |
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" women get told they shouldn't go after a man or if they come on strong it's unattractive.
Maybe in 1952."
Men haven't changed that much, some have attitudes towards women that belong in the 1950's. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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If women want a piece of lil Ric (da dick) they usually come running
(ALL PUNS INTENDED).
Jokes aside, i think wonen are open on here.
Funny on bumble though (dating app) where the women messge firdt, every now and then one of them will say they do not open or send the first message!! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I remember watching a documentary about teenage girls, and they were heading out to a club, and one of them said “if he’s interested, he’ll make the first move. If he doesn’t make the first move, he’s not interested, so there’s no point in me going over to him”.
First of all, this is wrong. Some guys are shy (me), and find it really tough to approach women, do would LOVE a girl to approach him.
Secondly, this is probably the 1950’s mindset that has been passed down to them by their parents and grandparents. Men are expected to be Men, and women are expected to be ladies. Doesn’t work like that anymore. "
If it wasnt for "predatory" women think id still be a virgin 
I just dont see the clues, ive literaly had " ffs how can you not tell do i need rub my tits your face" i just |
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By *lappyMan
over a year ago
Manchester |
I'd consider it the biggest compliment ever if I ever got approached in a bar by a woman as I struggle with nerves so to be chatted up gets a big thumbs up in my opinion ... and yes I've been chatted up by a girl in a bar before and we swapped numbers too |
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By *eliWoman
over a year ago
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"I suffer with worry at coming across as far too keen, but I will still ask with regularity when can we meet. "
Yeeeep! I do that as well. Sometimes I think it would be easier if I didn't and allowed men to do all that stuff but then it's not natural for me. I guess it's less about gendered roles and more doing what you feel comfortable with. Some women want men who will be the hunter/primal sort and the who messages who etc is good for finding out if they are. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"A lot of us don't have a clue when someone's flirting with us! I am one of those oblivious gents. "
Me too. I missed the boat by being told after I’d left town that I was being flirted with. God knows how many other times I’ve missed it. |
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