FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Politely responding to messages
Politely responding to messages
Jump to: Newest in thread
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
But if you have 100 messages a day saying "Sorry not for me" to each of them takes ages. Today through my door I got flyers for pizza, car valeting and Avon. I haven't replied to all them and said no thanks. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"But if you have 100 messages a day saying "Sorry not for me" to each of them takes ages. Today through my door I got flyers for pizza, car valeting and Avon. I haven't replied to all them and said no thanks. "
They simply put it through your door lol. As they did with all the other people in your street. So no effort. Hardly the Same thing ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
I agree. But if they don't reply they are a shit company. And no-one wants to work for a shit company. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
Yes it is. I couldn't do it to anyone, but ladies here do it all the time seems so ignorant to me. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort"
You get 1000 messages a day and respond to as many as you can ? That must be a full time job. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort
You get 1000 messages a day and respond to as many as you can ? That must be a full time job. "
Not at all. If we read a message and it’s well written, polite and shows effort. Yes we will reply to it. Not saying we read all of them. For example maybe we read 20 a day of that but from that any that stand out get a response even if it’s “ sorry not for us” |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
We get about ten messages a week. We respond to most. We don't often respond to the ones who haven't read our relatively brief profile of the ones that refer to me as "she" eg "does she take it up the arse?" (Not an actual example) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"Your profile says you are not looking for single guys. Do you respond to single guys who message you, despite them not having read your profile ? "
No. I’m talking about couples that message us. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"We get about ten messages a week. We respond to most. We don't often respond to the ones who haven't read our relatively brief profile of the ones that refer to me as "she" eg "does she take it up the arse?" (Not an actual example)"
Exactly what I’m talking about |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort
You get 1000 messages a day and respond to as many as you can ? That must be a full time job.
Not at all. If we read a message and it’s well written, polite and shows effort. Yes we will reply to it. Not saying we read all of them. For example maybe we read 20 a day of that but from that any that stand out get a response even if it’s “ sorry not for us”"
So you don't actually respond to the vast majority of your messages |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Lots of women on this app are annoyed because many of the men don't take the time to read profiles.. Well I do read them all, even the long novel ones, before I send them a message.. But most haven't even got the decency to say anything after I have sent them a long thought out message afterwards.
So no wonder men don't make the effort. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Have not received abuse For a polite no thankyou?
I do respond to some if i can tell they have read my bio and it's a decent message. But even to my "thankyou but no..good luck in your search" response I have had the most disgusting replys.
It's just not worth the hassle and upset.
Fab FAQs state a delete is a decline.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lots of women on this app are annoyed because many of the men don't take the time to read profiles.. Well I do read them all, even the long novel ones, before I send them a message.. But most haven't even got the decency to say anything after I have sent them a long thought out message afterwards.
So no wonder men don't make the effort. "
I can understand why men don't feel it's worth the bother. There are so many demands made for little return. Make your message interesting, stand out, one liners will be deleted, put bagpipes in your message header etc etc. If I had to write a carefully crafted, individual message to everyone I was interested in and received no response I'd soon get fed up. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
|
"You now say you get 1000 messages a day and read and reply to 20. That is vastly different from what you said in your first post. "
At what point did we say we reply to them all ?
We meant we reply to as many as we can...from the ones we read.
That happens to be 20 ish |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lots of women on this app are annoyed because many of the men don't take the time to read profiles.. Well I do read them all, even the long novel ones, before I send them a message.. But most haven't even got the decency to say anything after I have sent them a long thought out message afterwards.
So no wonder men don't make the effort.
I can understand why men don't feel it's worth the bother. There are so many demands made for little return. Make your message interesting, stand out, one liners will be deleted, put bagpipes in your message header etc etc. If I had to write a carefully crafted, individual message to everyone I was interested in and received no response I'd soon get fed up."
Meh I think there is no chance of meeting up with anyone who I fancy through this site. It's all about being in the Click. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lots of women on this app are annoyed because many of the men don't take the time to read profiles.. Well I do read them all, even the long novel ones, before I send them a message.. But most haven't even got the decency to say anything after I have sent them a long thought out message afterwards.
So no wonder men don't make the effort.
I can understand why men don't feel it's worth the bother. There are so many demands made for little return. Make your message interesting, stand out, one liners will be deleted, put bagpipes in your message header etc etc. If I had to write a carefully crafted, individual message to everyone I was interested in and received no response I'd soon get fed up.
Meh I think there is no chance of meeting up with anyone who I fancy through this site. It's all about being in the Click. "
It really isn't about being in the clique. We aren't in it and we get meets. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
"
So to scan through 1000 messages a day and reply to the 20 or so well written ones only takes a few seconds? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"But if you have 100 messages a day saying "Sorry not for me" to each of them takes ages. Today through my door I got flyers for pizza, car valeting and Avon. I haven't replied to all them and said no thanks.
They simply put it through your door lol. As they did with all the other people in your street. So no effort. Hardly the Same thing ?"
Not lol at all. There is actually a lot more effort involved as they have had to physically walk to your house and every other house in your street to do this. A polite no thanks is definately needed under these circumstances. Now, go back and read the faq section OP. It states very clearly that no reply means no interest, its not considered rude. You aren't entitled to anything on here from anyone else. People can also become abusive or try to change your mind after a no thanks. Also do you really want an inbox full of no thanks messages? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort
You get 1000 messages a day and respond to as many as you can ? That must be a full time job.
Not at all. If we read a message and it’s well written, polite and shows effort. Yes we will reply to it. Not saying we read all of them. For example maybe we read 20 a day of that but from that any that stand out get a response even if it’s “ sorry not for us”"
Right, so you've just contradicted yourselves here by stating you don't read all your messages or indeed reply to them, but complain when others do the same. Why should everyone else have to reply to you? Please explain. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Yes have it stated in my profile don't meet men over 10 miles away..u message from further than that..not interested.. I am polite, I try to reply to all but if its obvious u haven't read my profile.. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
They simply put it through your door lol. As they did with all the other people in your street. So no effort. Hardly the Same thing ?"
I think it's very much the same thing. Most of the messages I get, even if they are more than a single crude line, are blatantly some copy/paste scattergun strategy. Little different in my eyes to flyering.
I get people who will send the exact same message, word for word, a few days after I've said a polite "No thanks". It's like they have no recollection of the previous exchange and it's obviously some pre-written message that they just copy/paste and send to everybody. There's really very little difference compared to flyers that come through the door, imo. It hardly makes you feel special, or as if there's something particular about you that the person likes.
99 out of a 100 hundred messages I get are of the "I want to fuck somebody and you'll do" ilk. With most of them it's obvious that they've not read my page or paid any attention to what I say.
If someone wants to fire off dozens of impersonal messages to lots of people in the hope of getting a result then that's fine, but I don't really think they have much to complain about if their flyer goes straight in the bin without a reply.
It really is a very very small minority of messages that makes me think "Hey this person has actually read my profile and has put a little thought into this message which they have written for me."
I know how frustrating it is to send messages to people and get no response or be declined, but if the reaction to that is to stop making any effort then they shouldn't really be surprised if people aren't willing to make any effort in return. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Lots of women on this app are annoyed because many of the men don't take the time to read profiles.. Well I do read them all, even the long novel ones, before I send them a message.. But most haven't even got the decency to say anything after I have sent them a long thought out message afterwards.
So no wonder men don't make the effort. "
This. I read every profile I look at before I even look at the pictures and I send out a message tailored to that profile, but I very rarely get a polite ''no, thank you'' in return.
People say we're not entitled to a response, but I'll always firmly believe we are entitled to a bit of human decency if we've shown it to others first.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I think it's possibly all about perspective. As a single female I got so many messages it was hard to keep up with them let alone reply to all, even if it was just a polite "No thank you" although I did try. Most guys took it very well and were thankful of me taking the time to reply and he polite.
As a couple however, we get a lot less messages and therefore can reply to them all, either to start chatting or politely say no |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Lots of women on this app are annoyed because many of the men don't take the time to read profiles.. Well I do read them all, even the long novel ones, before I send them a message.. But most haven't even got the decency to say anything after I have sent them a long thought out message afterwards.
So no wonder men don't make the effort.
This. I read every profile I look at before I even look at the pictures and I send out a message tailored to that profile, but I very rarely get a polite ''no, thank you'' in return.
People say we're not entitled to a response, but I'll always firmly believe we are entitled to a bit of human decency if we've shown it to others first.
"
The thing is though, if somebody receives 100 messages a day and spends even one minute reading and replying to each message, then that equates to 1 hour and 40 minutes every day just dealing with messages. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For me deleting a message is alright just gives clear indication, not interested. Of coarse I would like polite answer, no thank you, but then again going through forum i understand that some guys may take that as an invitation to further messages asking for example, why not what's wrong with me etc... |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Imagine taking a bus ride, you're minding your own then strangers start pestering you with unwanted attention. Do you "politely decline" or do you just ignore and go on your way?"
Depending, if they bigger than me or not, am I d*unk or not, do I think I can take them on or not,
To many variables to give one answer |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Wow. It’s really interesting to hear that. I’ve been here a while and I sent messages quite selectively. I have to admit I’m starting to get quite frustrated at the amount of unread messages and lack of replies in my inbox. 1000 messages a day is a lot. There’s no wonder I feel like it’s a lost cause! |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
i answer the messages im interested in... first 5 or 6 years on here i answered everything and slowly but surely the abuse got worse and if it was not abuse it was why not or please give me a chance ... so now i dont reply at all unless im interested if they get pissy or decied to push then block list ...im here for me and hubs for our fun not to spend every evening answering 100s of message's off which most are hey hows you/hows your day been or play rude fancy a fuck ?? this is not just men its the same for couples or women if im not interested or too many message's i just dont answer and delete if people want to get pissy over that then thats there problem + its site rules anyway..... god so many of these moans of late stop taking it as rudeness or rejection and move on ..x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I will reply to emails where someone has taken the time to write something but a simple “Hey how ru” or “Alright” etc - they do not get replied too.
I also do not get upset of frustrated if an email is not read or replied to. I see it like this; an unread email is just bad luck and it has got lost in the sheer number of emails, a read but unreplied email is a polite no thank you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
No. It's like receiving lots of flyers through your door of services you aren't interested in and ringing them all up to tell them you won't be using their services. Pointless. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"I will reply to emails where someone has taken the time to write something but a simple “Hey how ru” or “Alright” etc - they do not get replied too."
and there lies the problem 95% of my messages are ''hi hows you'' ''hows your day been'' ''what u up 2'' ''drain my balls'' and yawn zzzzzzzz i reckon for evey 50 messages i get 2 or 3 will be a proper message the rest just fodder .. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
I get what you are saying, and i try to respond to the more well thought out messages i receive, but not always to the 'wuup2?' ones. Also job interviews, (and job applications too), a great many stipulate that if you haven't heard from them within a set amount of time, then you have been unsuccessful. They usually word it 'due to the high volume of applicants, it isn't always possible to respond....etc etc.As annoying as it is, it is the way things seem to work. Perhaps popular ladies on here could do the same!? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
They simply put it through your door lol. As they did with all the other people in your street. So no effort. Hardly the Same thing ?
I think it's very much the same thing. Most of the messages I get, even if they are more than a single crude line, are blatantly some copy/paste scattergun strategy. Little different in my eyes to flyering.
I get people who will send the exact same message, word for word, a few days after I've said a polite "No thanks". It's like they have no recollection of the previous exchange and it's obviously some pre-written message that they just copy/paste and send to everybody. There's really very little difference compared to flyers that come through the door, imo. It hardly makes you feel special, or as if there's something particular about you that the person likes.
99 out of a 100 hundred messages I get are of the "I want to fuck somebody and you'll do" ilk. With most of them it's obvious that they've not read my page or paid any attention to what I say.
If someone wants to fire off dozens of impersonal messages to lots of people in the hope of getting a result then that's fine, but I don't really think they have much to complain about if their flyer goes straight in the bin without a reply.
It really is a very very small minority of messages that makes me think "Hey this person has actually read my profile and has put a little thought into this message which they have written for me."
I know how frustrating it is to send messages to people and get no response or be declined, but if the reaction to that is to stop making any effort then they shouldn't really be surprised if people aren't willing to make any effort in return."
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?
I agree. But if they don't reply they are a shit company. And no-one wants to work for a shit company. " the person who got the job wouldn't complain |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You now say you get 1000 messages a day and read and reply to 20. That is vastly different from what you said in your first post.
At what point did we say we reply to them all ?
We meant we reply to as many as we can...from the ones we read.
That happens to be 20 ish"
So what about the decent messages that you didnt read, dont they also deserve a reply ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
Out of interest do you write to or call back to say thanks but we don't want anything to every company that sends unsolicited junk mail to you trying to sell you double glazing, solar roofs, pizza offers, building work, window cleaning, new driveway etc or do you throw it in the bin ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort
You get 1000 messages a day and respond to as many as you can ? That must be a full time job. "
agreed! (someone needs to sort out their filters) |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort" I am with you there OP but sometimes men have no filters and continue to messsge x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
We can both fab pics and post on the forum individually, we also might read messages individually but we only reply together once we have both read the message, looked at the profile and agreed an interest. We don’t get 1000 a day but it still takes time and this isn’t our life, so we only reply to those that are of interest.
Surely the rest understand that? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Imagine taking a bus ride, you're minding your own then strangers start pestering you with unwanted attention. Do you "politely decline" or do you just ignore and go on your way?"
Good point |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
Since I've stopped answering messages that I'm not interested in or the ones that have blatantly ignored my profile I'm happy to report the level of abuse has dropped dramatically. By not answering it also doesn't allow then to start asking why not or trying to change my mind. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
A wink or a short message, I’ll look at their profile, if it’s non existent with a few cock pictures I will ignore or delete. Same if I get a message asking to meet and they’ve not sent a picture or have one on their Profile to see if I’d find them attractive. It says to me ‘you look like you’d meet anyone’ in fact my Profile is quite stringent about what I’m looking for.
However a decent profile, picture and nice message always gets a reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort"
Sounds like a great new feature - a button to generate a "thank you for your message, but you're not for us" reply. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort
Sounds like a great new feature - a button to generate a "thank you for your message, but you're not for us" reply."
Add on the block feature to this " not for us " button and a lot of time wasting could be avoided for both parties.
The earlier post making reference to the junk mail posters as a comparison .... made me take a look at the mail , pizza it is later! It's a yes and guaranteed to show! Sorted
Good luck to everyone. Anyone want to share giant pizza later? lol. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
Imagine how many people have been ignored and if women only gave them a chance, they may of clicked with alot more guys online.
I tried chatting with a woman on another app once and she was very ignorant to say the least.. and gave me alot of abuse, then ignored and blocked me.
Anyways I met her in a pub afterwards and she was all over me.. But she couldn't rememember me from online.. I fancied her, but I thought to my self fuck off you bitch and i blanked her all night. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Imagine how many people have been ignored and if women only gave them a chance, they may of clicked with alot more guys online.
I tried chatting with a woman on another app once and she was very ignorant to say the least.. and gave me alot of abuse, then ignored and blocked me.
Anyways I met her in a pub afterwards and she was all over me.. But she couldn't rememember me from online.. I fancied her, but I thought to my self fuck off you bitch and i blanked her all night. "
I’m happy risking not getting to know someone |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
If you send in an application and you aren’t selected for interview, you rarely hear back. The individual has just spent a couple of minutes typing, they’ve not prepped potential answers, got ready or traveled. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
It is indeed a mixed one, as long as you dont take yourself seriously and have the mindset that a deleted message is a polite no thank you, and unread has got lost in a wave then it's all good, although some lovely women on this site have replied to me politely and to you ladies I thank you, you keep my faith, I think its only right to react to a message, even if it is a delete just to make categorically clear your not interested |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort
Sounds like a great new feature - a button to generate a "thank you for your message, but you're not for us" reply.
Add on the block feature to this " not for us " button and a lot of time wasting could be avoided for both parties.
The earlier post making reference to the junk mail posters as a comparison .... made me take a look at the mail , pizza it is later! It's a yes and guaranteed to show! Sorted
Good luck to everyone. Anyone want to share giant pizza later? lol. " Have you got one of those thermal bags? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
In principle i completely agree with your view, but there are riders to it for me......
Is it an obvious copy & paste?
Have they ignored relevant content from our profile, ie do they resemble what i state i am looking for in terms of general physical appearance?
If they have ignored my profile content, then ignorance deserves ignorance.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
Good for you. Not all heroes wear capes and you and your polite 'thanks but no thanks' messages are a true hero
It's just a shame that your attitude doesn't extend as far as letting people use the site as they please |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"You now say you get 1000 messages a day and read and reply to 20. That is vastly different from what you said in your first post.
At what point did we say we reply to them all ?
We meant we reply to as many as we can...from the ones we read.
That happens to be 20 ish"
1000 messages a day? Really?? Think sone over exaggeration is going on here |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *TkitkatWoman
over a year ago
Staffordshire |
Trouble is, you can tell from some people's opening lines they've not even read your profile, others you can tell they've just cut and paste what others would see as a "well thought of and constructed message" ( I had someone send me the same message a month apart )
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
It would be really annoying to run a company that had to send a message every two weeks to everyone they had ever turned down for a job.
Once you reply to somebody you cannot stop receiving messages from them, unless you block them, and then people moan about that. The site default is that if there is no interest then there is no need for a reply and that is the way it should stay.
|
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"
1000 messages a day? Really?? Think sone over exaggeration is going on here "
I think so too. I once had a single profile where I was looking to meet frequently. I never got more than 300 messages in a day. When we had a couples profile we got about 20 messages a day. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"But if you have 100 messages a day saying "Sorry not for me" to each of them takes ages. Today through my door I got flyers for pizza, car valeting and Avon. I haven't replied to all them and said no thanks.
They simply put it through your door lol. As they did with all the other people in your street. So no effort. Hardly the Same thing ?"
Somebody had to deliver the message, it wasn't a robot, it was a postal worker walking the streets in all weathers carrying heavy mail bags. So there was a little effort when you think about it. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I try to reply to all messages as respect the fact they have taken the time to send it but still get nasty responses when trying to politely decline.
I guess u just can't please everyone whether being direct or polite, par for the course i guess haha x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
I must be very unusual in that I (almost) always reply to messages, never decline anyone, and never block.....
Very rarely receive abuse
And no, I definitely don't meet "just anyone".
Fab is just a hobby and everyone can use it exactly how they wish |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *sGivesWoodWoman
over a year ago
ST. AUSTELL, CORNWALL |
"But if you have 100 messages a day saying "Sorry not for me" to each of them takes ages. Today through my door I got flyers for pizza, car valeting and Avon. I haven't replied to all them and said no thanks.
They simply put it through your door lol. As they did with all the other people in your street. So no effort. Hardly the Same thing ?
Somebody had to deliver the message, it wasn't a robot, it was a postal worker walking the streets in all weathers carrying heavy mail bags. So there was a little effort when you think about it." |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Fair enough
We get 1000 messages or so a day
We try respond to as many as we can that, read our profile and put in a bit of effort"
1,000 messages? A day?
So either 1/35th of Fab members message you daily or you know some mithering bastards |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"
1000 messages a day? Really?? Think sone over exaggeration is going on here
I think so too. I once had a single profile where I was looking to meet frequently. I never got more than 300 messages in a day. When we had a couples profile we got about 20 messages a day. "
I'm with you guys.... definitely a bit of exaggerating going on. 1000 a day my arse lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I agree with the op, being a single guy it's harder to meet in my area when most people are looking for couples or women but I am always polite and respectful and expect that in return. The worst ones are the ones who talk to you and say they want to meet, then ghost you or block you. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"Imagine taking a bus ride, you're minding your own then strangers start pestering you with unwanted attention. Do you "politely decline" or do you just ignore and go on your way?"
I politely say no thanks x |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"if I ever got 100 msgs in a day I would instantly think I was a legend "
I would think my phone is playing up lol.. If I didn't message women, I wouldn't receive 100 messages in a lifetime. |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"If someone writes you a message, a decent message which had taken time and effort, I think everyone should reply even if it’s to say “sorry not for us”. We always do. Only takes a few seconds.
Think about it like this....imagine going to a job interview, preparing for it, travelling to the venue, and trying real hard at the actual interview. Then the company doesn’t get back to you, not even just to say “sorry we went with someone else” isn’t that a piss take and annoying ?"
On paper yes I absolutely agree but there are major flaws to this
A single female profile can get hundreds of messages a day EVERY day
Anyone posting a pic that is liked enough to get onto hot pics can get over a thousand messages in a matter of hours
Replying to all even to say ‘thanks but no thanks’ will generate at least a third more replies back. They see that as an opening by following up with ‘why not’ ‘what’s your type then?’ Or unfortunately abusive comments because you should want to Fuck them
I do try to reply but then do you not think it’s even more rude where someone messages that hasn’t even read the profile to see if they match what that person is looking for ? |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
""Never decline anyone". Do you mean you meet everyone who asks ?
Nope. I say that if they see us at a club they should come and chat and we can see where it leads"
Brilliant |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
For all you ladies that get a gazillion messages and thoughs that dont but get more then any man. Ya could always just post a status every now and then just saying sorry for not getting bk and that it's just not suppose to be lol |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"A thousand messages in your inbox in a week and more adding a day maybe but even the beautiful ladies and naughty ladies find that hard to believe a 1000 a day
Erm agreed "
I get 1000 messages an hour and I reply to them all |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A thousand messages in your inbox in a week and more adding a day maybe but even the beautiful ladies and naughty ladies find that hard to believe a 1000 a day
Erm agreed
I get 1000 messages an hour and I reply to them all "
Superwoman
Fingers of fire |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
|
By *SAchickWoman
over a year ago
Hillside desolate |
"A thousand messages in your inbox in a week and more adding a day maybe but even the beautiful ladies and naughty ladies find that hard to believe a 1000 a day
Erm agreed
I get 1000 messages an hour and I reply to them all
Superwoman
Fingers of fire "
Ooh I might change my username to fingers of fire |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
"A thousand messages in your inbox in a week and more adding a day maybe but even the beautiful ladies and naughty ladies find that hard to believe a 1000 a day
Erm agreed
I get 1000 messages an hour and I reply to them all
Superwoman
Fingers of fire
Ooh I might change my username to fingers of fire "
Haha no doubt you will get 2000 an hour then asking you to USE those fingers of fire in other ways looooool |
Reply privately, Reply in forum +quote
or View forums list | |
» Add a new message to this topic