FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do winks work?
Do winks work?
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Sending someone a wink is an option as a way to show interest but do they work?
I know when I get a wink I check the profile out and make conract, but does everyine? Seen a few profiles saying "don't wink as will ignore", so is winking seen a lazy and if so should it even be an option? |
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I think it is an option, at least as an ice-breaker. However it is not as efficient as sending direct message.
For females and males, I don't think you need winks because you can send message directly.
But personally, for me, as a CD, if I want to initiate contact, I will wink first and see if they respond, as some are offended by our presence/contact. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Some people don't mind being winked at and don't consider it lazy. It lets a person know you're interested, without filling up their inbox even more.
Some people prefer messages because they like feeling wanted and a big number on their inbox counter. |
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It all depends on our/my mood! We respond more to messages, but if we like the profile then we wink back especially if I’ve no time to message, other than that I might message to say thanks for the wink and see where it leads. It’s a nice option to have the wink facility |
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I like to wink.
As post above said some people say it’s lazy. What’s lazy is sending copy and pasted messages. I’d rather wink, and if I get a wink in reply then I’ll send a personal message. Why waste my time writing messages to ladies of interest for them to go unread most of the time. |
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By *osweet69Couple
over a year ago
portsmouth |
As I'm/we are looking for single fems we know that these lovely ladies get a high number of messages which can be come a bit of a burden for them. We do not want to add to that burden so we send a wink and just hope they see it.  |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If i receive a wink il look at the profile...if im inrerested il wink back.if not I won't.
If I was a guy on here I'd wink more than send messages "
That's what I do, but noticed the "no winks" in profiles more often lately. |
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"I like winks. It’s a good way to show interest without being pushy. I liken it to a glance you’d give in a bar to someone you fancy .... testing the water  "
That's exactly how I feel. I have single guys blocked on here so if I find one I like I'll wink to show interest subtly. I like to make the first move just not in a pushy way. |
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"I like winks. It’s a good way to show interest without being pushy. I liken it to a glance you’d give in a bar to someone you fancy .... testing the water "
Would like to add ... they are good as long as there is a profile with pics to see at the other end of one ... otherwise, what’s the point ? |
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"I like winks. It’s a good way to show interest without being pushy. I liken it to a glance you’d give in a bar to someone you fancy .... testing the water
That's exactly how I feel. I have single guys blocked on here so if I find one I like I'll wink to show interest subtly. I like to make the first move just not in a pushy way. "
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We usually look at the profile but don't often reply to winks because most tend to come from miles away.
Because of our location we don't see any point in responding to a wink from Aberdeen when the profile says nothing about visiting our area.
The same applies to messages. If someone PM's us saying that they are visiting our area and have read and understood our profile then we will always reply. If not, then not. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like winks. It’s a good way to show interest without being pushy. I liken it to a glance you’d give in a bar to someone you fancy .... testing the water
Would like to add ... they are good as long as there is a profile with pics to see at the other end of one ... otherwise, what’s the point ? "
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab??? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like winks. It’s a good way to show interest without being pushy. I liken it to a glance you’d give in a bar to someone you fancy .... testing the water
Would like to add ... they are good as long as there is a profile with pics to see at the other end of one ... otherwise, what’s the point ? "
Agreed! I like the wink system, saves everyone's time writing messages that may well just get deleted. If someone winks and I'm interested I'll wink back and send them myself too sometimes, seeing the man we meet regularly started with me sending a wink .
It's completely pointless with a blank profile though, although on previous similar threads I have seen people say they use them as a sign of appreciation of your profile, so perhaps they're doing that. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."
The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.
WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's been on every animal on the farm.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.
Sure enough, the farmer wakes up the next morning to find Randy laid out flat in the middle of the yard, buzzards circling overhead.
The sad farmer shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself."
Randy opens one eye, winks, and nods towards the sky, "Shhh, they're getting closer." |
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Sending a woman a wink I'd say doesn't really work, couples....maybe just have a read of their profile as some say wink if your interested. I've had winks sent to me as an invitation to send a message |
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"A farmer buys a rooster to service his 200 hens. When he gets the rooster into the barnyard, he tells him, "Randy, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Have fun, but take your time."
The farmer points him toward the henhouse and the rooster takes off like a shot.
WHAM! Randy nails every hen in the henhouse, three or four times. Randy runs out and sees a flock of geese down by the lake. WHAM! He nails all the geese. Randy runs to the pigpen, the cow pasture -- soon, he's been on every animal on the farm.
The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day.
Sure enough, the farmer wakes up the next morning to find Randy laid out flat in the middle of the yard, buzzards circling overhead.
The sad farmer shakes his head and says, "Oh, Randy, I told you to pace yourself."
Randy opens one eye, winks, and nods towards the sky, "Shhh, they're getting closer.""
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer a wink, then I can look to see if my interest is piqued enough to wink back, if that is responded to by anything other than a well thought out message and face pic it's a no from me.
I would rather have that than an unmanageable inbox and no effort. |
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By *ast_jjMan
over a year ago
Dublin and London |
"I prefer winks tbh ... they've checked me out so I check them out back! Occasionally will wink back too! "
This is exactly how I see them working. I have had a meet that started with a simple wink. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab??? "
No, 95% of all my messages are a waste of time and I don't even bother looking at their profile! But my winks, mileage dependent, I tend to check out |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I prefer winks tbh ... they've checked me out so I check them out back! Occasionally will wink back too! This is exactly how I see them working. I have had a meet that started with a simple wink. "
Rushes off to check my winks ... |
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We are big fans of the wink and don't see them as lazy whatsoever. It's just a nice tactful way of saying "we're interested, are you?" If we get a wink back then conversation can start. It's much better than getting messages that just say "hi" or "How's u?". |
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It's never worked when I have winked at someone, but I think that's just because women get so many messages blokes who can't be bothered to even write a short message have no chance.
However, as a man, I rarely get winks, except from other guys  , so I usually do follow up a wink from a lady or a couple.
But I usually find that they then ignore the message, so what's the point? 
I did get one wink from a lady, who responded to my reply, and that led to something special. If anyone is familiar with my 'Bringing my wife...' story on here, that was the real life Chloe |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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They are a waste of time for me. When I used to look at them regularly most of the profiles were blank! Or if I winked back at someone with a good profile nothing would happen. It's used as a great filter for people that haven't read my profile nowadays. |
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"They are a waste of time for me. When I used to look at them regularly most of the profiles were blank! Or if I winked back at someone with a good profile nothing would happen. It's used as a great filter for people that haven't read my profile nowadays. "
Couldn't agree more. I started looking at ours on the weekend, lost interest after 15 minutes as the majority had no photos or information on them. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"I prefer a wink, then I can look to see if my interest is piqued enough to wink back, if that is responded to by anything other than a well thought out message and face pic it's a no from me.
I would rather have that than an unmanageable inbox and no effort. "
*wink* |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab???
No, 95% of all my messages are a waste of time and I don't even bother looking at their profile! But my winks, mileage dependent, I tend to check out"
But why is a wink any different to a message?
By the very action, the sender has invested more in a message (whatever that message might be) than a wink?
I’m not being critical, just genuinely intrigued as to why folks prefer a wink over a message, why is it different, and better? |
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab???
No, 95% of all my messages are a waste of time and I don't even bother looking at their profile! But my winks, mileage dependent, I tend to check out
But why is a wink any different to a message?
By the very action, the sender has invested more in a message (whatever that message might be) than a wink?
I’m not being critical, just genuinely intrigued as to why folks prefer a wink over a message, why is it different, and better? "
Generic, minimal, badly spelt and crude or dumb messages tend to put me in a bad mood. Especially if I open a message to find a gross photo of some guy's cock.
Winks at least avoid that : ) |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I prefer to wink, cant always think what to put in a message as still finding my feet, always thought a wink lets them know im interested and the ball is in their court. x |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab???
No, 95% of all my messages are a waste of time and I don't even bother looking at their profile! But my winks, mileage dependent, I tend to check out
But why is a wink any different to a message?
By the very action, the sender has invested more in a message (whatever that message might be) than a wink?
I’m not being critical, just genuinely intrigued as to why folks prefer a wink over a message, why is it different, and better?
Generic, minimal, badly spelt and crude or dumb messages tend to put me in a bad mood. Especially if I open a message to find a gross photo of some guy's cock.
Winks at least avoid that : ) "
Fair point |
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab???
No, 95% of all my messages are a waste of time and I don't even bother looking at their profile! But my winks, mileage dependent, I tend to check out
But why is a wink any different to a message?
By the very action, the sender has invested more in a message (whatever that message might be) than a wink?
I’m not being critical, just genuinely intrigued as to why folks prefer a wink over a message, why is it different, and better? "
A wink says "I exist and am interested". A message has a chance to go further. |
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I think winks are fine by us if they are used respectfully. The problem is many people don't use them that way which I think is why some members just rule them out.
The way they work best for us is if somebody reads our profile and thinks we match what we have said are looking for. We then have a butcher's at their profile and take it further if we're interested. However, we would prefer a message that introduces themselves and shows they have read our profile by saying how we're a good fit and why they like us.
What's not respectful is when a chancer winks who has nothing to do with what we have said we are interested in, particularly if they are an unrealistic distance away, possibly just in with a blanket hit-and-miss strategy. Those are the people who spoil this site for considerate members. If we get too many of those then we will also join the ranks of people who ignore winks. |
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"I think winks are fine by us if they are used respectfully. The problem is many people don't use them that way which I think is why some members just rule them out.
The way they work best for us is if somebody reads our profile and thinks we match what we have said are looking for. We then have a butcher's at their profile and take it further if we're interested. However, we would prefer a message that introduces themselves and shows they have read our profile by saying how we're a good fit and why they like us.
What's not respectful is when a chancer winks who has nothing to do with what we have said we are interested in, particularly if they are an unrealistic distance away, possibly just in with a blanket hit-and-miss strategy. Those are the people who spoil this site for considerate members. If we get too many of those then we will also join the ranks of people who ignore winks. "
Yeah, I usually just ignore/ bulk delete winks. But repeat winkers who clearly aren't what I'm looking for (usually smokers in my case), I block. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab???
No, 95% of all my messages are a waste of time and I don't even bother looking at their profile! But my winks, mileage dependent, I tend to check out
But why is a wink any different to a message?
By the very action, the sender has invested more in a message (whatever that message might be) than a wink?
I’m not being critical, just genuinely intrigued as to why folks prefer a wink over a message, why is it different, and better? "
Because messages bore me most of the time and are time consuming I suppose ... I treat them much like a smile across the bar type flirtation! Easy to ignore and easy to take further but my choice without actually bothering me! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I check them maybe once a week, and usually just end up mass deleting.Sometimes the odd profile wiill catch my eye, but its quite rare.
I understand that other people do use them, so I don't think they're pointless. The only thing that annoys me is all the profiles stating, 'if I wink it means I'm interested.' Surely, that goes without saying! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Only been on here a short while but had several messages and always respond, even if saying sorry to no more contact. But not had any winks yet (that's not my way of seeking winks by the way, as I am content that so far my profile has not attracted anyone) but I would respond simply because its polite to do so. But not sure how or what to say other than "thanks". |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Only been on here a short while but had several messages and always respond, even if saying sorry to no more contact. But not had any winks yet (that's not my way of seeking winks by the way, as I am content that so far my profile has not attracted anyone) but I would respond simply because its polite to do so. But not sure how or what to say other than "thanks". "
Oops, just looked in the right place and found seven winks in two weeks that I did not see I had - sorry to those who sent them  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Winks are a one way street. Wink at a woman and you might as well shout into the void, however if a woman winks at a man, he will without doubt either wink back or compose a reply. |
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Had a couple in four years. Replied, attempting to tick all the boxes, adding photos to both who then didnt respond at all. Reality is probably that most men will respond due to minimal activity other than outgoing, while single females and couples will probably ignore most/all due to the usual numbers game. Thus it will ever be so. Just saying. |
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By *zmukMan
over a year ago
doncaster |
"I like to wink.
As post above said some people say it’s lazy. What’s lazy is sending copy and pasted messages. I’d rather wink, and if I get a wink in reply then I’ll send a personal message. Why waste my time writing messages to ladies of interest for them to go unread most of the time. "
This.
The success rate for most blokes is incredibly low for new contacts, so we get a lot of slaps before we get a kiss.
Combine that with a perfectly reasonable demand for personalised messages with some effort put into them, and it turns our quest into a marathon!
Factor in the numerous complaints about people getting inundated with messages so they just bin hundreds at a time.
So we wink - I like the look of you, but don't know if you would welcome an approach, so I'll wink you, and if you want me to take things further, wink back and I'll send you a message.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Most certainly the large majority of messages are not worth reading, in fact most are a few words, inane and boring.
With a wink I can decide if it is worth striking up dialogue. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I like to wink.
As post above said some people say it’s lazy. What’s lazy is sending copy and pasted messages. I’d rather wink, and if I get a wink in reply then I’ll send a personal message. Why waste my time writing messages to ladies of interest for them to go unread most of the time.
This.
The success rate for most blokes is incredibly low for new contacts, so we get a lot of slaps before we get a kiss.
Combine that with a perfectly reasonable demand for personalised messages with some effort put into them, and it turns our quest into a marathon!
Factor in the numerous complaints about people getting inundated with messages so they just bin hundreds at a time.
So we wink - I like the look of you, but don't know if you would welcome an approach, so I'll wink you, and if you want me to take things further, wink back and I'll send you a message.
"
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I respond to winks depending on what mood I’m in.
Usually I wink to test the water and see if they respond. And maybe a few weeks later if I happen to come across the profile again, then I’ll try a message |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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We like winks, both sending and receiving. It’s like a little green light of encouragement!
It’s always quite exciting when you get a return wink and if it’s not, it doesn’t feel as bad as when you’ve messaged and been either turned down or ignored. x |
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By *os19Man
over a year ago
Edmonton |
I received a wink at the start of the year from a young lady who I had noticed on the forums.I had wanted to message her before she winked at me but I was a year outside her age limit.When she winked me it allowed me to message her back.We messaged exchanged numbers and met up so yes I say it can work. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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In theory winks are a good idea. As has been stated they allow interest to be expressed without filling the inbox. If it's returned you (in theory) are putting the effort into a first message with at least some hope they the person may climb down from their chaise lounge to read it, and maybe even reply.
Reduces the inefficiency in playing the numbers game which ultimately if you are on this site and not playing the numbers game then you are either stunning, male model material or not getting any meets.
Unfortunately, most profiles consider them lazy because it's far better for them that you write out a well crafted prose to contribute to their ego inflation, which they will then ignore. And if you don't supply them with their daily entitlement of ego boost then you're just lazy |
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab??? "
Winks are slightly different, whether copy and paste message or not, a message of any sort adds an element of expected reply, IMO... a wink doesn’t hold the same expectation, .... it’s a glance in your direction which you either respond to or look away. |
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"Winks are a one way street. Wink at a woman and you might as well shout into the void, however if a woman winks at a man, he will without doubt either wink back or compose a reply. "
Well I am a woman and if I receive a wink from someone I like the look and sound of I wink back, in fact most of my meets have come from a wink rather than an initial message  |
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"Just wondering however, those that prefer winks, do you then not mind copy and paste messages, or messages with little to no thought in them? And respond to those?
I only ask, as by the same token they are expressing an interest, and I would propose, whether it be a copy and paste message, or not carefully written or thought out - it’s still taken more effort than clicking the “wink” tab???
Winks are slightly different, whether copy and paste message or not, a message of any sort adds an element of expected reply, IMO... a wink doesn’t hold the same expectation, .... it’s a glance in your direction which you either respond to or look away. "
This |
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"In theory winks are a good idea. As has been stated they allow interest to be expressed without filling the inbox. If it's returned you (in theory) are putting the effort into a first message with at least some hope they the person may climb down from their chaise lounge to read it, and maybe even reply.
Reduces the inefficiency in playing the numbers game which ultimately if you are on this site and not playing the numbers game then you are either stunning, male model material or not getting any meets.
Unfortunately, most profiles consider them lazy because it's far better for them that you write out a well crafted prose to contribute to their ego inflation, which they will then ignore. And if you don't supply them with their daily entitlement of ego boost then you're just lazy "
Definitely true in some cases! Fab is often a 'no win' zone as a single guy, with some just looking for every way to look down from their castle because they can. |
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"Sending someone a wink is an option as a way to show interest but do they work?
I know when I get a wink I check the profile out and make conract, but does everyine? Seen a few profiles saying "don't wink as will ignore", so is winking seen a lazy and if so should it even be an option?"
If someone winks then we will look at their profile. However, if they couldn't be bothered to write a message in the first place then neither will we. |
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One of the most interesting threads ever. Having seen so many single guys saying they can't win over the last couple of years, this pretty much proves it, with different folks having very diverse preferences as to their preferred approach. |
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I like winks as I feel they give a preliminary notification of interest and it can be a tough place here for single men - so it could save a lot of effort writing a message, when the recipient would look at the profile and delete the message plus potentially block.
A few poorly deluded souls get a returned wink and send a friend request 
I check winks frequently but I'd definitely not assume that everyone even looks at them. Perhaps users could be allowed to disable them, if they don't want them? |
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I like a wink if the wink comes from someone or someone’s matching what we are looking for as stated on our profile. A wink from someone that hasn’t read our profile or at least checked what we’re looking for is just ignored.
xx |
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