FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > I don't think it works, or does it?
I don't think it works, or does it?
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So in the Club with My Girl. We are sharing a tender moment together naked, just chilling out. In a public area, no problem people watching, chating, getting off if they wish (from a bit of a distance). A guy, who'd not even made any kind of contact previous literally comes sits next to us and starts playing with him self making all sorts of noises and saying things in a porno sort of voice right in my ear. It was bizarre and off putting. So I politely said your kind of killing our buzz as we're trying to share a tender moment together. He apologised and left the room very quickly. I think he was embarrassed. I actually felt a bit bad as I didn't want anyone to feel embarrassed, just wanted a bit of space and not him literally breathing in my ear.
I can understand people wanting to join in when they see something they like, but does this sort of approch work for anyone? Has anyone had any success doing the sort of thing this guy did? I'm guessing maybe because if not why would he think that would work?
Also I must point out he seem a very lovely guy when I pointed out he was not doing it for us. In a way it made his approch seem even more surprising. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So in the Club with My Girl. We are sharing a tender moment together naked, just chilling out. In a public area, no problem people watching, chating, getting off if they wish (from a bit of a distance). A guy, who'd not even made any kind of contact previous literally comes sits next to us and starts playing with him self making all sorts of noises and saying things in a porno sort of voice right in my ear. It was bizarre and off putting. So I politely said your kind of killing our buzz as we're trying to share a tender moment together. He apologised and left the room very quickly. I think he was embarrassed. I actually felt a bit bad as I didn't want anyone to feel embarrassed, just wanted a bit of space and not him literally breathing in my ear.
I can understand people wanting to join in when they see something they like, but does this sort of approch work for anyone? Has anyone had any success doing the sort of thing this guy did? I'm guessing maybe because if not why would he think that would work?
Also I must point out he seem a very lovely guy when I pointed out he was not doing it for us. In a way it made his approch seem even more surprising."
Oh I’ve had all sorts of approaches in clubs. Some get to a club and have absolutely no social skills or are really shy. Had one guy follow me for 2hrs. Didn’t say a word. When I asked him why he hadn’t struck up a convo, he headed for the door. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You will never beat our most surreal moment.
Chams for a day and night, decided around 6ish to get a bite to eat, sat there eating me chips and some random bloke stands right in front of us while eating and starts to wank, smiling and winking at us both...
He soon disappeared as i stabbed his cock with my fork!
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont forget that in a situation like that all the blood rushes to the penis and the man brain temporarily gives up its control to the bollocks, poor chaps, no wonder they cant multi-task  "
I've had situations where guys want to join in or touch me when I'm busy playing with others. I make it clear they can watch but not touch and their hands quickly draw away.
If I've chosen to play in public in clubs with a couple then I've chosen to play with them and them alone. I don't mind people watching under these circumstances but I like to play safe and randoms trying to join in feels unsafe as I am not in control of the situation then.
If I play with a single guy it's always in a private room, again it controls the situation and allows me to play how I want too without worrying if someone else who I've not even spoken to can think they can join in.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"You will never beat our most surreal moment.
Chams for a day and night, decided around 6ish to get a bite to eat, sat there eating me chips and some random bloke stands right in front of us while eating and starts to wank, smiling and winking at us both...
He soon disappeared as i stabbed his cock with my fork!
"
|
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"So in the Club with My Girl. We are sharing a tender moment together naked, just chilling out. In a public area, no problem people watching, chating, getting off if they wish (from a bit of a distance). A guy, who'd not even made any kind of contact previous literally comes sits next to us and starts playing with him self making all sorts of noises and saying things in a porno sort of voice right in my ear. It was bizarre and off putting. So I politely said your kind of killing our buzz as we're trying to share a tender moment together. He apologised and left the room very quickly. I think he was embarrassed. I actually felt a bit bad as I didn't want anyone to feel embarrassed, just wanted a bit of space and not him literally breathing in my ear.
I can understand people wanting to join in when they see something they like, but does this sort of approch work for anyone? Has anyone had any success doing the sort of thing this guy did? I'm guessing maybe because if not why would he think that would work?
Also I must point out he seem a very lovely guy when I pointed out he was not doing it for us. In a way it made his approch seem even more surprising.
Oh I’ve had all sorts of approaches in clubs. Some get to a club and have absolutely no social skills or are really shy. Had one guy follow me for 2hrs. Didn’t say a word. When I asked him why he hadn’t struck up a convo, he headed for the door. "
To be fair I do sympathise. Being someone who has difficulties in social situations and starting off in clubs as a single guy. I found it very challenging but rewarding. Granted I was never that bad. Part of the challenge was pushing my self to talk to strangers in a vulnerable environment. Part of the reason I went to clubs alone was to challenge my self socially, jump off at the deep end if you will. I really get that people want to be part but the ways they go about I find bizarre (Yet no longer unsurprising). |
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"Dont forget that in a situation like that all the blood rushes to the penis and the man brain temporarily gives up its control to the bollocks, poor chaps, no wonder they cant multi-task
I've had situations where guys want to join in or touch me when I'm busy playing with others. I make it clear they can watch but not touch and their hands quickly draw away.
If I've chosen to play in public in clubs with a couple then I've chosen to play with them and them alone. I don't mind people watching under these circumstances but I like to play safe and randoms trying to join in feels unsafe as I am not in control of the situation then.
If I play with a single guy it's always in a private room, again it controls the situation and allows me to play how I want too without worrying if someone else who I've not even spoken to can think they can join in.
"
I tend to find sometimes in a public area if you invite one single then other think it's carte blanche for the rest to dive in. |
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"You will never beat our most surreal moment.
Chams for a day and night, decided around 6ish to get a bite to eat, sat there eating me chips and some random bloke stands right in front of us while eating and starts to wank, smiling and winking at us both...
He soon disappeared as i stabbed his cock with my fork!
"
Worryingly that story doesn't suprise me in the slightest. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Dont forget that in a situation like that all the blood rushes to the penis and the man brain temporarily gives up its control to the bollocks, poor chaps, no wonder they cant multi-task "
Tad judgemental on our gender me thinks taud lass. Lol  male |
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"You will never beat our most surreal moment.
Chams for a day and night, decided around 6ish to get a bite to eat, sat there eating me chips and some random bloke stands right in front of us while eating and starts to wank, smiling and winking at us both...
He soon disappeared as i stabbed his cock with my fork!
"
LMAO  |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
On the rare occasions I attend clubs these days, I very much keep myself to myself - don’t touch, don’t speak (unless spoken to), try not to look.
It’s a lot easier this way - what appears at first to be an open, sexual and exciting environment isn’t really that at all - it’s very restrictive, as this thread proves. |
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"On the rare occasions I attend clubs these days, I very much keep myself to myself - don’t touch, don’t speak (unless spoken to), try not to look.
It’s a lot easier this way - what appears at first to be an open, sexual and exciting environment isn’t really that at all - it’s very restrictive, as this thread proves. "
Restrictive in the sense that everyone has differing sexual tastes tastes and desires. It may be a place to do your thing, that why we love it. No problem with people being liberated and doing their thing. However I/we are also there to do our thing. Our thing for example does not include for example strangers wanking off in our ear when we are trying to eat our burger and chips. I'd have no problem with that being their thing as long as they don't take offence when I politely explain we don't like this and buzz off. Plus to be fair it would be nice asked or said hello before they just cracking into our person space. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Yeah my husband would have just told him to f*ck off if he was killing the buzz. My husband struggles with nerves at clubs as it is without some guy whispering in a porno voice in his ear |
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
"On the rare occasions I attend clubs these days, I very much keep myself to myself - don’t touch, don’t speak (unless spoken to), try not to look.
It’s a lot easier this way - what appears at first to be an open, sexual and exciting environment isn’t really that at all - it’s very restrictive, as this thread proves. "
Restrictive in that people should be respected for their wishes too? That you should only touch someone when you have their consent?
There is nothing wrong with talking to people, if you want to have conversation... Trying to churn out some porn script may sound sexy to you but again, unlikely to float the boat of the unconsenting subject. What's wrong with introducing yourself and starting an actual conversation?
If consent is restrictive then you need to have a long hard look at yourself. |
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Was having a play on one of the private beds at Libs one night when Worzel Gummage (well someone who looked like him) emerged from the gloom and said “Can oiiiii just sit on the edge of the bed and Tommy tank pleaseeeeee”
When told no he then said “Can oiiiii just sit on the bottom of the bed and Tommy tank pleaseeeeee”
When told again no he scuttled off into the gloom muttering about just wanting to “Tommy Tank”.
That was pretty weird I guess |
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"On the rare occasions I attend clubs these days, I very much keep myself to myself - don’t touch, don’t speak (unless spoken to), try not to look.
It’s a lot easier this way - what appears at first to be an open, sexual and exciting environment isn’t really that at all - it’s very restrictive, as this thread proves.
Restrictive in that people should be respected for their wishes too? That you should only touch someone when you have their consent?
There is nothing wrong with talking to people, if you want to have conversation... Trying to churn out some porn script may sound sexy to you but again, unlikely to float the boat of the unconsenting subject. What's wrong with introducing yourself and starting an actual conversation?
If consent is restrictive then you need to have a long hard look at yourself. "
I was just about to write something very similar.
How dare people expect to be respected rather than mauled or made uncomfortable. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I place consent as the highest priority which is why I keep away - as a single and not very attractive guy, I know I won’t get consent.
"
Same here. I keep to myself and just chillax in the jacuzzi or sauna. If anyone speaks to me fine, if not i leave them alone. |
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By *arkb73Man
over a year ago
Cheshire/Staffs |
"I place consent as the highest priority which is why I keep away - as a single and not very attractive guy, I know I won’t get consent.
Same here. I keep to myself and just chillax in the jacuzzi or sauna. If anyone speaks to me fine, if not i leave them alone. "
I think it’s the only way to be |
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