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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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So I'm naturally a dominate person in the bedroom but I have never labelled myself as a Dom but at the same time I feel I have alot of Dom qualities. Recently I've made a partner in crime and we are really wanting to explore in this area. So we kinda have a to do list of things to do but my imagination falls short on scenarios. So I'd like to know other peoples activities and fantasy's in this area. Also I'm wanting to learn about pre care and after care as I want my partner to feel safe before and after so she can release herself to me . |
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I recommend reading books like "Screw The Roses Send Me The Thorns".
My opinion is that finding your own way with guidance from books etc is the way forward, others feel differently and advocate learning from others.
Enjoy! |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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Thankyou very much I will give it a read. I suppose it depends how deep you willing to go. I'm very much at the beginner level but I can see myself getting very into this sort of thing. Love the idea of sending a into sub space then bringing her back. Again thanks for your comment |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
The joy of D/s and BDSM is there are no set "rules" other than those you agree with an informed and consenting partner - the are some purists who will tell you otherwise and that you *should* do it their way but ultimately it comes down to what you and your partner want.
D/s and BDSM has a huge spectrum from "kink play" at one end to full on extreme play at the other, with a multitude of things in between.
A few suggestions to get you started in your journey though - read as much as you can (Screw The Roses Bring Me The Thorns has already been mentioned, SM101 is also very good - both are available from that site named after a South American river) - think hard about what kind of a D/s relationship you want yours to be, some people will want it to be an occasional thing as an added extra to their normal sex life, others will want it to be 24/7, talk to each other about what you expect of the D/s side of things, both individually and as a couple.
I'd also recommend both of you completing an on-line BDSM questionnaire - one that includes various activities that you rate 1-5 in terms of interest/willingness to indulge - it's a great way to start to understand not only your role and style, but also what your partner expects - once you've completed them, compare notes and pick some of the common interests to find out more about and try.
Start slow, don't rush into it, there's really no hurry, and taking your time not only allows you to find out what works, but also reduces the risk of danger or overstepping the mark.
You should both put some thought into boundaries both hard limits (absolutely won't do under any circumstances) and soft limits (not keen but in the right circumstances might be open to trying) - also talk about which boundaries it might be ok to push.
Give consideration to safe words, a simple traffic light system often works best.
Always remember to make sure it's both informed and consensual, and most importantly have fun  |
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scenarios. They are called sceanes.
Munch, you need to find and attend a local munch. Chat to other kinksters then progress to play parties. Not to be confused with swingers parties. Kink parties, are mostly, no sexusal acts or sex during sceanes. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Oh I love this, a man looking for doing this right!!!
When I’m sub, my only request... it starts and ends with tenderness. Everything in between... is just fun! And it’s trust that you’ll need to build sloooowly.
Good luck with this amazing journey. |
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"Thankyou very much I will give it a read. I suppose it depends how deep you willing to go. I'm very much at the beginner level but I can see myself getting very into this sort of thing. Love the idea of sending a into sub space then bringing her back. Again thanks for your comment "
You're welcome. We tend to be solitary practitioners  and although we involve others from time to time find our own way. It suits us.
As an aside we saw a vintage vaulting horse today that would have made a great piece not bondage/spanking furniture but it was £300. There can be about of fun had looking out for equipment to use  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Oh I love this, a man looking for doing this right!!!
When I’m sub, my only request... it starts and ends with tenderness. Everything in between... is just fun! And it’s trust that you’ll need to build sloooowly.
Good luck with this amazing journey.
"
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"Oh I love this, a man looking for doing this right!!!
When I’m sub, my only request... it starts and ends with tenderness. Everything in between... is just fun! And it’s trust that you’ll need to build sloooowly.
Good luck with this amazing journey."
Thanks foxy I really feel into the whole tenderness side of things |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Dom and sub basics Trust/respect/honesty you have to build the foundations on these first with your chosen partner. The connection and communication is vital in the relationship. Shaping & moulding the submissive is the fun part to the dynamic.
Good luck OP on your D/s journey x
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By *adyJayneWoman
over a year ago
Burnleyish (She/They) |
If you can find a copy of it... "Sane, safe, consentual and fun" by John Warren was probably one of the most well read books in our munch library.
It had 15/20 scenes written out with suggestions of props etc, great for ideas if you're staring out and don't have improvisation skills, confidence or the skills and ability for more complex scenes. |
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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago
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"If you can find a copy of it... "Sane, safe, consentual and fun" by John Warren was probably one of the most well read books in our munch library.
It had 15/20 scenes written out with suggestions of props etc, great for ideas if you're staring out and don't have improvisation
skills, confidence or the skills and ability for more complex scenes. "
Thankyou lady Jayne that's sounds like something I could benefit from. |
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"Thankyou very much I will give it a read. I suppose it depends how deep you willing to go. I'm very much at the beginner level but I can see myself getting very into this sort of thing. Love the idea of sending a into sub space then bringing her back. Again thanks for your comment
You're welcome. We tend to be solitary practitioners and although we involve others from time to time find our own way. It suits us.
As an aside we saw a vintage vaulting horse today that would have made a great piece not bondage/spanking furniture but it was £300. There can be about of fun had looking out for equipment to use "
The whole area of pervertibles is great fun - you can work wonders with an old carpenters sawhorse and a suitable covering - and IJEA step stools deserve a mention too, along with old library steps that often turn up in second had and junk shops. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Practice, read, attend munches (fetish socials) everyone is learning from day one until the end. Try all things to see what works and what doesn’t. It takes time to learn skills but Practice makes all the difference |
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