FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Anyone else?
Anyone else?
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Getting bored of the master sub business,each to their own and all but it seems every one is into it but us,we both find looking at a woman's arse black and blue abit off putting.the wife says if anyone done it to her she'd press charges lol.we was once asked if the wife was trained  well she uses the loo ok and don't piss in the corner but she learnt this from an early age and I can't take the credit for it. I didn't get a response from that reply
So anyone else getting a bit bored of it? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Do you know what I've been feeling the same recently! I’m totally turned off by it!
The majority of guys I’ve spoke to on here and off of fab are into the whole rough dominanation sub/dom shit! There’s no diversity whatsoever.
I want to meet someone who multifaceted in the bedroom but I’m really struggling at the moment.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I'm getting more "do you want to be dominated?" type messages just lately. I blame porn and that clown Christian Grey, making lots of guys instantly think they're masters. |
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By *ifty69Man
over a year ago
north tyneside |
"I'm getting more "do you want to be dominated?" type messages just lately. I blame porn and that clown Christian Grey, making lots of guys instantly think they're masters. "
Porn has a lot to answer for, it is taken things to a different level and desensitised sex too much |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I get the distinct impression alot of men just view the dom/sub dynamic as an excuse to humiliate and abuse someone too. Not all, clearly, but certainly I've heard it enough.
Be dominant, fine. I'm naturally dominant, but respect seems to be horribly lacking. Porn has a lot to answer for. |
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If I had a pound for every message I recieved, from men wanting to dominate me.
I'd be rich!
It's pretty obvious from the way they write they have absolutely no idea what a DS relationship involves.
Slapping my arse redraw ain't it!
Yeah I'm bored of reading it! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the distinct impression alot of men just view the dom/sub dynamic as an excuse to humiliate and abuse someone too. Not all, clearly, but certainly I've heard it enough.
Be dominant, fine. I'm naturally dominant, but respect seems to be horribly lacking. Porn has a lot to answer for. "
The whole humiliation thing exactly! |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I was speaking to someone some time ago actually who decided she was going to learn "how to serve" (or something similar) a guy on here. She hadn't even met him yet. I really got the distinct impression that they'd both just looked up DS on Google.
Fuck knows what happened there but I was a tad concerned for her. She seemed terribly naive. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the more submissive messages than dom ones. My personal favourite is when they ask if they can serve me. "
I can see why! You have that dominatrix look with the dark hair, pale skin and red lips thing going on |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think a lot of guys throw their hat in as Dom/Sub or whathaveyou in the belief it is the current trend. Anything to improve your chances of a fuck.
The irony is that not all D/S play involves sex  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I get the more submissive messages than dom ones. My personal favourite is when they ask if they can serve me.
I can see why! You have that dominatrix look with the dark hair, pale skin and red lips thing going on"
I'd never actually thought of it like that  |
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We just don't understand it maybe, as in life I'm not a very passive person and don't take fools lightly so am I a Dom? The wife is a pretty passive person but don't take noone messing about so is she a subdom lol behave! It's getting a bit silly for us and now pass them sort of profiles pretty swiftly and have even blocked a few |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"We just don't understand it maybe, as in life I'm not a very passive person and don't take fools lightly so am I a Dom? The wife is a pretty passive person but don't take noone messing about so is she a subdom lol behave! It's getting a bit silly for us and now pass them sort of profiles pretty swiftly and have even blocked a few "
I'll not post pics of my whips and floggers then |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
Ultimately it is a case of each to their own and that is one of the good things about the site, the diversity of interests - if you're talking the forums I'd hardly say that BDSM dominates (pun intended) them, in fact it's a tiny proportion of the threads and to my mind a far more interesting topic of discussion than some threads.
If it's not for you that's absolutely fine of course, but to some, myself included, it's both interesting and informative, not to mention helpful to discuss it so that those that don't understand it, particularly of the type you describe, can get a better knowledge of the subject.
I agree that there are a lot (of mainly men) who have seen those films, or BDSM porn, who that is all they need to know to call themselves dominant, and they can be a danger, which is another reason discussing it openly and honestly is a good thing.
Can understand though if you're constantly getting messages from people who don't match with your criteria that it might get tedious, but that could be said for anything and not just BDSM. |
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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
I used to practice BDSM and have been in Ds relationships, which was something I really enjoyed and gained a lot from mentally, physically and philosophically. I’ve even met a couple of people though here and had some enjoyable play sessions.
Problem is, a lot of people who like the idea of BDSM don’t seem to want to practice it safely or with any respect of the other person(s) involves or prior knowledge. Whether this is due to porn or not I think it’s genuinely down to the person not thinking appropriately as any adult should do.
Without wanting to sound elitist I don’t think many people actually know what BDSM involves and often they presume it’s purely physical. For example, although there’s a physical difference between someone wanting a hard spanking on the ass or being cuddled and called babygirl, the power exchange is still the same to someone who is in a BDSM mindset. In other words, whether you’re fully compliant or not, if someone feels dominant or submissive in that scenario then to them it’s still a form of BDSM. Either way, you just need to remember that not everyone will be comfortable in BDSM but also one persons link is another persons normal.
I could talk on this for hours lol
Nancy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I have to say I'm impressed by the rope tying and all that but yea not for us at all "
Rope play (Or Shibari for the purists) doesn't have to be BDSM or sexual. |
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Couldn't agree more OP. Seems every other guy that messages me. Claims to be a dom. Telling me what he's doing to do to me etc etc. As someone already said that bloody book has a lot to do with it
XX |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I think a lot of guys throw their hat in as Dom/Sub or whathaveyou in the belief it is the current trend. Anything to improve your chances of a fuck.
The irony is that not all D/S play involves sex "
So very true. Most have no understanding of the close relationship involved either between a Sub and Dom(me). If truth be told a small part is about sex and sometimes there is none. True forms of it have no abuse, very loving relationships, more than many married couples have experienced.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I used to practice BDSM and have been in Ds relationships, which was something I really enjoyed and gained a lot from mentally, physically and philosophically. I’ve even met a couple of people though here and had some enjoyable play sessions.
Problem is, a lot of people who like the idea of BDSM don’t seem to want to practice it safely or with any respect of the other person(s) involves or prior knowledge. Whether this is due to porn or not I think it’s genuinely down to the person not thinking appropriately as any adult should do.
Without wanting to sound elitist I don’t think many people actually know what BDSM involves and often they presume it’s purely physical. For example, although there’s a physical difference between someone wanting a hard spanking on the ass or being cuddled and called babygirl, the power exchange is still the same to someone who is in a BDSM mindset. In other words, whether you’re fully compliant or not, if someone feels dominant or submissive in that scenario then to them it’s still a form of BDSM. Either way, you just need to remember that not everyone will be comfortable in BDSM but also one persons link is another persons normal.
I could talk on this for hours lol
Nancy "
 It's good to have a response from knowledge and experience rather than so much hear say playground chat which becomes apparent true without being questioned. |
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So reading what some have put then I feel abit disrespected as these so called Dom's expect my wife to conform to his will or their will
I don't know how to feel about this I may have to block every Dom we come across from now on lol,oh and our profile does state she don't play with men so if not her what do they expect a straight male to their sub lol well ain't gonna happen  |
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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"So reading what some have put then I feel abit disrespected as these so called Dom's expect my wife to conform to his will or their will
I don't know how to feel about this I may have to block every Dom we come across from now on lol,oh and our profile does state she don't play with men so if not her what do they expect a straight male to their sub lol well ain't gonna happen "
You will find a lot of people who don’t comply with the more respectful and safe way to approach people. Assuming submission is very common and I’d be VERY wary of anyone who expects this from the get go.
I’ve never played with a Dominant who has expected submission without getting to know me, my limits or expectations first, and I would never expect someone to submit to me as their Domme without getting to know them either. You will also find subs who run around flinging themselves at you too, they’re often ones to avoid too and are only ever looking for their own self gratification.
Best advice if it’s not for you is to make it clear on your profile “No BDSM”
Nancy |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"So reading what some have put then I feel abit disrespected as these so called Dom's expect my wife to conform to his will or their will
I don't know how to feel about this I may have to block every Dom we come across from now on lol,oh and our profile does state she don't play with men so if not her what do they expect a straight male to their sub lol well ain't gonna happen "
If your wife doesn't play with guys why not have your profile filtered so they can't message you. I don't understand why you don't. |
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Oddly, considering our profile we get very few messages from people who don't understand BDSM. Occasionally a guy will message asking if we can introduce him to the dynamic which is fine and we once had a message that frightened me {and that's difficult to do} but otherwise most people seem to know what they're talking about.
I think it's important to remember that respect goes both ways. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Getting bored of the master sub business,each to their own and all but it seems every one is into it but us,we both find looking at a woman's arse black and blue abit off putting.the wife says if anyone done it to her she'd press charges lol.we was once asked if the wife was trained well she uses the loo ok and don't piss in the corner but she learnt this from an early age and I can't take the credit for it. I didn't get a response from that reply
So anyone else getting a bit bored of it?"
Its getting a bit samesy on here with it but thats down to a lot of men thinking its an easy way to get laid. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Biggest turn off is the "experienced" men going on about the right way to do things, then bragging about how they maimed a young girl or made a woman lay down on the floor so people could walk over her.
Those men shouldn't be in charge of a goldfish. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I blame 50 shades of shite...that's brown though 
Seriously though if all those women hadn't have bought and read and then praised it, I'd say the master wannabes wouldn't have jumped out of the woodwork to jump on the bandwagon of surging interest. Then again hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don't and wouldn't call myself a Dom but definitely a natural Alpha. It's so misunderstood probably more than calling oneself straight on fab. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Biggest turn off is the "experienced" men going on about the right way to do things, then bragging about how they maimed a young girl or made a woman lay down on the floor so people could walk over her.
Those men shouldn't be in charge of a goldfish."
That's just abuse and as you say bad because they revel in it. It be the furthest thing in a true Dom's mind if that were to happen. A true Dom is deeply caring and loving. One thing that separates them apart. For others is seen as a sign of weakness but intact it is their most powerful strength. |
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By *iyuWoman
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
The problem is is that due to Christian gray and porn men seem to think they are dominant. When in fact they are just kinky.
I am a Domme, I have a sub and it entails so much more than just some spanking and stuff. It's a 24/7 thing where I have to plan what he eats, help him attain his personal goals so on so fourth. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I blame 50 shades of shite...that's brown though
Seriously though if all those women hadn't have bought and read and then praised it, I'd say the master wannabes wouldn't have jumped out of the woodwork to jump on the bandwagon of surging interest. Then again hindsight is a wonderful thing. I don't and wouldn't call myself a Dom but definitely a natural Alpha. It's so misunderstood probably more than calling oneself straight on fab."
It doesn't happen as much now but it's not long ago that every other female profile (other sites too, not just Fab) was 'looking for my Mr Grey'.
It became tiresome very quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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You blame the 50 shades shite
I blame the intolerance of other people's point of view.
S&M, master/slave, obedience, trained etc, its not something we would be into, but then we rather cleverly do our best to ignore such threads.
We tend not to read the threads with such titals.
If someone messages us asking if we are in to it, we tell them no
It's not difficult
We all have our kinks, our likes and dislikes, it would be a dull world if we were all the same.
We ask for tolerance of our lifestyle from the vanilla world, it would be hypocritical of swingers to condemn those into a more controlling lifestyle. |
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"You blame the 50 shades shite
I blame the intolerance of other people's point of view.
S&M, master/slave, obedience, trained etc, its not something we would be into, but then we rather cleverly do our best to ignore such threads.
We tend not to read the threads with such titals.
If someone messages us asking if we are in to it, we tell them no
It's not difficult
We all have our kinks, our likes and dislikes, it would be a dull world if we were all the same.
We ask for tolerance of our lifestyle from the vanilla world, it would be hypocritical of swingers to condemn those into a more controlling lifestyle. "
Well said. It's interesting that people who say they don't like the control element of BDSM seek to control the way people others do things |
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By *ydnNancyCouple
over a year ago
Basingstoke |
"Biggest turn off is the "experienced" men going on about the right way to do things, then bragging about how they maimed a young girl or made a woman lay down on the floor so people could walk over her.
Those men shouldn't be in charge of a goldfish.
That's just abuse and as you say bad because they revel in it. It be the furthest thing in a true Dom's mind if that were to happen. A true Dom is deeply caring and loving. One thing that separates them apart. For others is seen as a sign of weakness but intact it is their most powerful strength."
Couldn’t agree more
Nancy |
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"So reading what some have put then I feel abit disrespected as these so called Dom's expect my wife to conform to his will or their will
I don't know how to feel about this I may have to block every Dom we come across from now on lol,oh and our profile does state she don't play with men so if not her what do they expect a straight male to their sub lol well ain't gonna happen
If your wife doesn't play with guys why not have your profile filtered so they can't message you. I don't understand why you don't. "
It is but we have couples doing it to especially FB couples |
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"You blame the 50 shades shite
I blame the intolerance of other people's point of view.
S&M, master/slave, obedience, trained etc, its not something we would be into, but then we rather cleverly do our best to ignore such threads.
We tend not to read the threads with such titals.
If someone messages us asking if we are in to it, we tell them no
It's not difficult
We all have our kinks, our likes and dislikes, it would be a dull world if we were all the same.
We ask for tolerance of our lifestyle from the vanilla world, it would be hypocritical of swingers to condemn those into a more controlling lifestyle. "
I'm not condemning anybody I just stated we're bored of it not trying to insult anybody,however I do think it's wrong to ask another man's wife like we have been |
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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago
There and to the left a bit |
"You blame the 50 shades shite
I blame the intolerance of other people's point of view.
S&M, master/slave, obedience, trained etc, its not something we would be into, but then we rather cleverly do our best to ignore such threads.
We tend not to read the threads with such titals.
If someone messages us asking if we are in to it, we tell them no
It's not difficult
We all have our kinks, our likes and dislikes, it would be a dull world if we were all the same.
We ask for tolerance of our lifestyle from the vanilla world, it would be hypocritical of swingers to condemn those into a more controlling lifestyle.
I'm not condemning anybody I just stated we're bored of it not trying to insult anybody,however I do think it's wrong to ask another man's wife like we have been "
I think saying you are "bored" of something is quite dismissive terminology though and suggests a lack of tolerance for those that find it quite the opposite of boring.
I actually don't think it's BDSM you are bored of either, more the men on here that use it as an approach, same as you are probably bored of the men on here that send inappropriate messages and cock pics.
In other words it's not the activity itself that bores you as such, more the individuals that contact you.
As others have said there's a world of difference between BDSM and what the kind of guys that have been contacting you think is BDSM. |
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"You blame the 50 shades shite
I blame the intolerance of other people's point of view.
S&M, master/slave, obedience, trained etc, its not something we would be into, but then we rather cleverly do our best to ignore such threads.
We tend not to read the threads with such titals.
If someone messages us asking if we are in to it, we tell them no
It's not difficult
We all have our kinks, our likes and dislikes, it would be a dull world if we were all the same.
We ask for tolerance of our lifestyle from the vanilla world, it would be hypocritical of swingers to condemn those into a more controlling lifestyle.
I'm not condemning anybody I just stated we're bored of it not trying to insult anybody,however I do think it's wrong to ask another man's wife like we have been
I think saying you are "bored" of something is quite dismissive terminology though and suggests a lack of tolerance for those that find it quite the opposite of boring.
I actually don't think it's BDSM you are bored of either, more the men on here that use it as an approach, same as you are probably bored of the men on here that send inappropriate messages and cock pics.
In other words it's not the activity itself that bores you as such, more the individuals that contact you.
As others have said there's a world of difference between BDSM and what the kind of guys that have been contacting you think is BDSM."
Yes I'd agree with that |
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we also getting bored with the single female profiles saying I meet but olny with so and SO's permission 
