FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Do you mention Swinging on a vanilla date?
Do you mention Swinging on a vanilla date?
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've stopped, because as soon as I do, they either write me off as a potential gf, or from then on any communication is about sex, swinging, and 'when are you going to take me?'"
I've stopped as exactly this was happening ...
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But being a vanilla date, where I'm looking for a long term bf as opposed to a fuck buddy, because that's then all they want. Why put effort into a proper relationship, when they think they can just get easy and plentiful sex |
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"I've stopped, because as soon as I do, they either write me off as a potential gf, or from then on any communication is about sex, swinging, and 'when are you going to take me?'"
I always do has lead to some great first dates. |
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This is what I find hard with my toe dipped in dating.. I wouldn't class myself as a proper swinger but I'm very open sexually and I love the fact on here you can be honest about that but on the "dating sites" I'm wary to say too soon "I love being tied up and spanked" etc etc because guys just seem to take that to mean your an easy lay... But for me I need the sexual chemistry and spark and wouldn't want anyone who was Completely vanilla... So I understand what your saying... I don't know the answer, I'm just hoping when I find him it will just be right!!???? X |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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I think its hard to go from this to vanilla. My long term club buddy dabbled in vanilla dating recently and always liked to be upfront from the start so mentioned it. One guy said she was used goods, nice term, not, the other was a little surprised but then wouldn't stop asking about it and would she take him to a club when it's what she'd wants to get away from! |
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"I've stopped, because as soon as I do, they either write me off as a potential gf, or from then on any communication is about sex, swinging, and 'when are you going to take me?'"
Have you seen the film "Chasing Amy"
The guy falls in love with a woman with a lot of experience, but messed up as he wants to try all the things that she has done but no longer wants.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I've stopped, because as soon as I do, they either write me off as a potential gf, or from then on any communication is about sex, swinging, and 'when are you going to take me?'
Have you seen the film "Chasing Amy"
The guy falls in love with a woman with a lot of experience, but messed up as he wants to try all the things that she has done but no longer wants.
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yeah its a film that i love |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Not quite, but went on a couple dates through a dating site and got on ok, but no romantic spark, we then agreed to meet as friends for a drink, anyway as had few drinks and no date pressure, turned out we'd both been on swingers sites and had fun through them, so had a great laugh swapping stories |
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By *abs..Woman
over a year ago
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It would be nice to think you could be honest about it however I suspect people have preconceived ideas and will judge you for it. You may limit your chances of a relationship but increase your chances for a sex date. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"I wouldn't put it on a dating site as most people there are looking for an actual partner, not someone to share with others"
Most are looking for just sex in my experience. Plus many are in relationships already. Not too dissimilar to here. |
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By *iyuWoman
over a year ago
Cheltenham |
I did once, after 2 excellent dates I decided to be a little open about it and say it was something I am interested in. Back fired massively he said well its my birthday soon and as a treat you can arrange a Mff for me. Then got annoyed when I said no that's not how it works.
That ended that potential very quickly. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It tends to go down like a lead balloon, I must secretly be attracted to puritans.
One girl found a photo, by accident,of me receiving oral sex from a woman, when she worked out it must have been taken by a third person, she was horrified, thought "blimey, that's the least naughty photo" |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Thing is, if someone judges me from a dating site then they won’t be for me anyway. I want to explore a swinging relationship and not wanting a conventional one. I just have to be open and see what happens. |
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It's a difficult one. In the vanilla world it may be worth getting to know each other and getting a better feeling for their attitudes towards sex and an openness to swinging. But yet this is not ideal if swinging is a deal breaker in a relationship because you don't want to invest in something that in the long run will not work for you. That's why I advocate people looking for dating within the scene. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's a difficult one. In the vanilla world it may be worth getting to know each other and getting a better feeling for their attitudes towards sex and an openness to swinging. But yet this is not ideal if swinging is a deal breaker in a relationship because you don't want to invest in something that in the long run will not work for you. That's why I advocate people looking for dating within the scene. "
Great advice and why I’ve spent more time on sites like these ;but still got my toes in dating sites). Going to socials, going on dates, clubs. You just never know, it can happen anywhere if you have an open mInd. |
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"It's a difficult one. In the vanilla world it may be worth getting to know each other and getting a better feeling for their attitudes towards sex and an openness to swinging. But yet this is not ideal if swinging is a deal breaker in a relationship because you don't want to invest in something that in the long run will not work for you. That's why I advocate people looking for dating within the scene.
Great advice and why I’ve spent more time on sites like these ;but still got my toes in dating sites). Going to socials, going on dates, clubs. You just never know, it can happen anywhere if you have an open mInd. "
Nothing wrong with a multi prong approach. |
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If anyone was wanting or planning to continue being a swinger I’d think it was the right thing to tell people in early stages, possibly even before you met them, but if you wasn’t planning on doing it again then no, we all have loads of experiences in life that we might not again need to do, to me every relationship is different and a past wild life doesn’t necessarily mean a wild future,
Akso regarding telling people you are a swinger, yes they will obviously be wanting to know all the details and this might be all they initially see but you need to state your wishes early on regarding that and someone would like to experience a relationship like that will happily agree to keep the chat less sexual |
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I would say mention it to a guy but there is that risk they will see it just a sexual thing I personally would love to have a full on relationship someone who is happy with swinging swinging parties not the be all and end all |
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