FabSwingers.com > Forums > Swingers Chat > Is somebody taking the piss?
Is somebody taking the piss?
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here."
My ex was the same. He said I could have sex with other women but never another man.
Best moment of my life was when I got rid of him |
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"****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here."
Why is that taking the piss?
That’s people having reasoned rules - which incidentally they do not have to explain to anyone.
I don’t think you really “get” the concept of swinging as opposed to merely casual sex - not a criticism, merely an observation  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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It's called compromising and thinking of each other when executed with good intent.
Not doing anything that makes the other feel uncomfortable would put your relationship in jeopardy
Some people really don't understand that just because people swing doesn't mean they're up for anything. People have boundaries and they're down to the individuals involved to sort out between them, not for others to judge or tell them "they aren't proper swingers"
P |
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In the words of the great poet Racey.
Some girls will, some girls won't
Some girls need a lot of lovin' and some girls don't
Well, I know I've got the fever but I don't know why
Some say they will and some girls lie |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here.
Why is that taking the piss?
That’s people having reasoned rules - which incidentally they do not have to explain to anyone.
I don’t think you really “get” the concept of swinging as opposed to merely casual sex - not a criticism, merely an observation "
I understand swinging perfectly. It felt like taking the piss because she was coming across as “I do what my husband wants, not what I want”.
This is what I genuinely felt she meant. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here.
Why is that taking the piss?
That’s people having reasoned rules - which incidentally they do not have to explain to anyone.
I don’t think you really “get” the concept of swinging as opposed to merely casual sex - not a criticism, merely an observation
I understand swinging perfectly. It felt like taking the piss because she was coming across as “I do what my husband wants, not what I want”.
This is what I genuinely felt she meant."
She doesn't want to upset or make him uncomfortable. She may not want him fucking ladies up the poop chute even though he loves it, and he doesn't fuck them up the poop chute coz she doesn't want him to, and he respects that. Who knows.
P
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here.
My ex was the same. He said I could have sex with other women but never another man.
Best moment of my life was when I got rid of him "
I understand perfectly that some couples look for women and they state so on their profile; that’s fine....But I genuinely thought she came across as trying to please her husband by forsaking what she wanted....that’s all x |
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"****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here.
My ex was the same. He said I could have sex with other women but never another man.
Best moment of my life was when I got rid of him
I understand perfectly that some couples look for women and they state so on their profile; that’s fine....But I genuinely thought she came across as trying to please her husband by forsaking what she wanted....that’s all x"
I’d love to watch football, drink beer and scratch my balls all day - but I don’t cos I think of my partner - that’s the dynamics of a relationship mate |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"It's called compromising and thinking of each other when executed with good intent.
Not doing anything that makes the other feel uncomfortable would put your relationship in jeopardy
Some people really don't understand that just because people swing doesn't mean they're up for anything. People have boundaries and they're down to the individuals involved to sort out between them, not for others to judge or tell them "they aren't proper swingers"
P"
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean? "
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion.... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean?
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion...."
Do you let your partner call all the shots or do you do what's ultimately best for the both of you as a couple, as a unit, but worth each individuals needs taken into consideration? Do you do something because he says so, or vice versa?
It's got fuck all to do with gender and everything to do with being a decent human
P |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean?
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion....
Do you let your partner call all the shots or do you do what's ultimately best for the both of you as a couple, as a unit, but worth each individuals needs taken into consideration? Do you do something because he says so, or vice versa?
It's got fuck all to do with gender and everything to do with being a decent human
P"
My partner and I actually have rules for the comfort of both of us, not just what he wants or what I want. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean?
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion....
Do you let your partner call all the shots or do you do what's ultimately best for the both of you as a couple, as a unit, but worth each individuals needs taken into consideration? Do you do something because he says so, or vice versa?
It's got fuck all to do with gender and everything to do with being a decent human
P
My partner and I actually have rules for the comfort of both of us, not just what he wants or what I want."
And do you break those rules? No. And neither did she. |
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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago
Catthorpe |
" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean?
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion...."
A bit sweeping tbh. Been on the scene a bit now and the impression is that the couples are in it together for their joint interest, equally. The one sided partner is a rareity from what we've seen unless it's a cuck or hotwife scenario which again is a joint decision. They'll be exceptions to this but in the minority, as far as we've seen. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
I’m friends with a couple and they only play with women. It’s because she’s bi and he enjoys that side too. Neither want to include men into their sex life. That’s their thing. Some only want to meet men. It’s whatever works for them. |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean?
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion....
Do you let your partner call all the shots or do you do what's ultimately best for the both of you as a couple, as a unit, but worth each individuals needs taken into consideration? Do you do something because he says so, or vice versa?
It's got fuck all to do with gender and everything to do with being a decent human
P
My partner and I actually have rules for the comfort of both of us, not just what he wants or what I want.
And do you break those rules? No. And neither did she. "
Actually, if the man expects the woman to be the one to perform sexually, it’s got fuck-everything to do with gender and coercion  and he is breaking unspoken rules of decency if he is allowed to fuck other women but she is not allowed to even touch the man of the other couple or couples but hey ho, that’s just me I guess |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean?
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion....
Do you let your partner call all the shots or do you do what's ultimately best for the both of you as a couple, as a unit, but worth each individuals needs taken into consideration? Do you do something because he says so, or vice versa?
It's got fuck all to do with gender and everything to do with being a decent human
P
My partner and I actually have rules for the comfort of both of us, not just what he wants or what I want.
And do you break those rules? No. And neither did she.
Actually, if the man expects the woman to be the one to perform sexually, it’s got fuck-everything to do with gender and coercion and he is breaking unspoken rules of decency if he is allowed to fuck other women but she is not allowed to even touch the man of the other couple or couples but hey ho, that’s just me I guess"
Yep, just you. My husband doesn’t play at all because he has no desire to do so. But I’m not breaking any ‘unspoken rules of decency’ by fucking anyone else.
If that’s what the couple has agreed, it’s none of your business. Unless you are one half of said couple. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
" I thought women were the ones who called the shots?
What does this even mean?
I don’t know exactly as I am in a MM couple but, I am taking to mean that since a woman is involved and she is getting penetrated (probably), if she is in a situation that she doesn’t like, then it’s a ‘No’. Otherwise it’s coercion....
Do you let your partner call all the shots or do you do what's ultimately best for the both of you as a couple, as a unit, but worth each individuals needs taken into consideration? Do you do something because he says so, or vice versa?
It's got fuck all to do with gender and everything to do with being a decent human
P
My partner and I actually have rules for the comfort of both of us, not just what he wants or what I want.
And do you break those rules? No. And neither did she.
Actually, if the man expects the woman to be the one to perform sexually, it’s got fuck-everything to do with gender and coercion and he is breaking unspoken rules of decency if he is allowed to fuck other women but she is not allowed to even touch the man of the other couple or couples but hey ho, that’s just me I guess"
Yep, just you. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
|
"****So, before I say anything, this has nothing to do with anybody from this site whatsoever****
I was chatting to somebody online (supposedly the lady of the couple) and the conversation eventually came to sex. And she tells me that her partner apparently has no problem with her having a whole gangbang with women, but he will not allow her to play with another man....is somebody trying to take the piss? Do men actually tell their female partners what NOT to do during swinging? I thought women were the ones who called the shots? Or does it actually happen covertly? Genuinely intrigued here.
Why is that taking the piss?
That’s people having reasoned rules - which incidentally they do not have to explain to anyone.
I don’t think you really “get” the concept of swinging as opposed to merely casual sex - not a criticism, merely an observation
I understand swinging perfectly. It felt like taking the piss because she was coming across as “I do what my husband wants, not what I want”.
This is what I genuinely felt she meant."
I've come across quite a few couples who said the woman could have me, but the man couldn't.
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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As part of a couple, if one of us is uncomfortable we don't do it. I don't understand why this is alien. It's nothing to do with one person banning the other from doing something. It's working as a partnership for mutual pleasure. |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Assuming of course that she would like to have sex with other men
You make your point well but allow non of the variables for which there are many, don't be so blinkered."
I am not blinkered at all. I understand perfectly what some of you say about mutually agreed rules. But that is different from one person imposing rules on the other person without reciprocation. Assuming the woman actually would actually like to have sex with the man of the other couple, which by the way I haven’t asked her yet, then I am right. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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Couples who swing have rules agreed by negotiation and compromise. On the outside looking in sometimes those rules make perfect sense, other times they seem batshit crazy but as long as it works for them then it's not really anyone else's concern is it?
I would never do anything that my partner didn't agree with. And I certainly wouldn't want her to agree for me to do something she didn't want me doing just to observe some nonsensical code of decency |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assuming of course that she would like to have sex with other men
You make your point well but allow non of the variables for which there are many, don't be so blinkered.
I am not blinkered at all. I understand perfectly what some of you say about mutually agreed rules. But that is different from one person imposing rules on the other person without reciprocation. Assuming the woman actually would actually like to have sex with the man of the other couple, which by the way I haven’t asked her yet, then I am right."
But if her and her husband have agreed that she won’t be doing that as he isn’t comfortable then that’s fine too
If my husband told me he wasn’t comfortable with me having a threesome, I wouldn’t have one. But it wouldn’t stop me wanting one. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assuming of course that she would like to have sex with other men
You make your point well but allow non of the variables for which there are many, don't be so blinkered.
I am not blinkered at all. I understand perfectly what some of you say about mutually agreed rules. But that is different from one person imposing rules on the other person without reciprocation. Assuming the woman actually would actually like to have sex with the man of the other couple, which by the way I haven’t asked her yet, then I am right."
But if the other partner is uncomfortable then that will be why it’s not happening. It’s not always a case of one can do something so means the other can too. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Assuming of course that she would like to have sex with other men
You make your point well but allow non of the variables for which there are many, don't be so blinkered.
I am not blinkered at all. I understand perfectly what some of you say about mutually agreed rules. But that is different from one person imposing rules on the other person without reciprocation. Assuming the woman actually would actually like to have sex with the man of the other couple, which by the way I haven’t asked her yet, then I am right.
But if her and her husband have agreed that she won’t be doing that as he isn’t comfortable then that’s fine too
If my husband told me he wasn’t comfortable with me having a threesome, I wouldn’t have one. But it wouldn’t stop me wanting one. "
That’s perfectly put. |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people..................... |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people....................."
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before  |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people.....................
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before
I love it too! And she did mention that. "
Are they actually swingers or is it just his fantasy to see her with other women? I know loads of guys that like that but would never like to see them with a man. |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people.....................
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before
I love it too! And she did mention that. "
But it's irrelevant. You asked if that was really what happens in relationships. People have told you how it works for them. Surely your example is Just that? One couple's take. Not the same as others? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people.....................
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before "
Always convenient when the forgotten variable also reinforces the OP's agenda which pretty much no one else agrees with.
I'll be honest OP it begs the question why if she has such an insanely jealous partner why is she discussing her second life with you |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people.....................
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before
I love it too! And she did mention that.
Are they actually swingers or is it just his fantasy to see her with other women? I know loads of guys that like that but would never like to see them with a man. "
I have no idea what they are tbh and needless to say, they have no verifications. And also...the cherry on the cake is that she did offer to meet with me in London for “coffee”. So, what about the husband’s jealousy? Hence, my suspicious attitude... |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people.....................
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before
Always convenient when the forgotten variable also reinforces the OP's agenda which pretty much no one else agrees with.
I'll be honest OP it begs the question why if she has such an insanely jealous partner why is she discussing her second life with you"
Always convenient when people pretend to miss the OP’s point of view as well |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people.....................
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before
Always convenient when the forgotten variable also reinforces the OP's agenda which pretty much no one else agrees with.
I'll be honest OP it begs the question why if she has such an insanely jealous partner why is she discussing her second life with you
Always convenient when people pretend to miss the OP’s point of view as well "
Sorry I genuinely don't see the point you ate trying to make here? No one is pretending to miss your point of view. You gave a scenario. You questioned the normality of it and said you were genuinely intrigued. And people have given you their opinion and their experiences. How is anyone pretending to miss your point of view? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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To be fair OP most people have answered the OP. No. One half doesn't dictate the rules to the other. They normally decide mutually. Unless one half is in it against their will. We are unable to comment on your example situation as we don't know them. Not sure what else we can say! |
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By *_Marius OP Man
over a year ago
Currently Faraway |
"Well...I had another look at the chat we had and she says allegedly her man gets extremely jealous when other men even look at her or touch her....so I am assuming extreme jealousy, according to some of you who have pointedly disagreed with me, is also perfectly normal when a couple agrees to embark on recreational sex with other people.....................
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before
Always convenient when the forgotten variable also reinforces the OP's agenda which pretty much no one else agrees with.
I'll be honest OP it begs the question why if she has such an insanely jealous partner why is she discussing her second life with you
Always convenient when people pretend to miss the OP’s point of view as well
Sorry I genuinely don't see the point you ate trying to make here? No one is pretending to miss your point of view. You gave a scenario. You questioned the normality of it and said you were genuinely intrigued. And people have given you their opinion and their experiences. How is anyone pretending to miss your point of view?"
“
Oooh I love it when the OP brings in another variable that they "forgot" to mention before
Always convenient when the forgotten variable also reinforces the OP's agenda which pretty much no one else agrees with.”
Did you expect me to copy-paste the whole effing conversation history I had with that woman just to prove that I don’t have an “agenda”? |
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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago
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That means, a woman can have sex with another female with toys but can't have a man's dick but doesn't say anything about the man.
No wonder, there are thousands of cpls here who are just after another single woman lol |
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